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What's the most Cringeworthy Alternate History you've ever read?

ScottishMongol said:
Interestingly, due to complicated historical reasons the main claimants to the Hawaiian monarchy, the House of Kawānanakoa, are shitty Republicans, but left-leaning Native Hawaiians who want to restore the monarchy and aren't happy with this instead support a collateral branch of the House of Kamehameha. So, there are actually competing claimants to the Hawaiian monarchy in the modern day, which is pretty cool.
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Clearly the reasonable compromise here is to make the House of Stuart the new kings of Hawaii. Jacobitism, ho!
 
Susano said:
Bah. The Hohenzollern are just yapping Franconian upstarts.

To restore the imperial dignity in Germany, one naturally has to re-establish the prince-electorates, as laid out in the Golden Bull and as modified in the Reichsdeputationshauptschluss. The Prince-Electors can then, as per tradition and good order, elect the rightful Holy Roman Emperor. Which of course will be a Habsburg. Everything else is modernist nonsense, I say!
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That's a weird way to spell the Ottonians.
 
And therefore, the Infante Carlos is the rightful heir to the Kingdom of Spain!

(Look, it was going to reach this point eventually. :V)
 
Pope Hilarious said:
And? Are you saying they would be more acceptable if they were just people that were held up as special because of their tentative connection to a family that had monopolized political power previously?
Monarchy works on the idea that being born to the right people makes you special and confers special rights and duties. It's morally abhorrent in most contexts.
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Monarchies aren't necessarily hereditary and don't always rely on "being born to the right people."
 
Susano said:
Yes they do. Even elective monarchies is nobles electing nobles for the royal dignity.

Unless it is indeed a popular election for a fixed term, in which case, just call it President, or Consul or Tribune if you're feeling fancy.
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Anyone remember when there were proposals for Washington to have a lifetime term?
 
Teh, amateurs. What you do it claim to be the reincarnation of Norton I! Being a mere descendent is nothing in comparison.
 
A piece of alt history I find cringey is, The American Dream: An American Officer ISOTed to the Revolutionary War.

It just seems a bit too wankish and a bit too progressive for me. I mean, the main character is of, East Asian descent, and besides the rather uncomfortable fact they call him yellow, everyone just listens to him, no matter if he just appears out of nowhere, has no connections, and claims to be from the future. I also felt myself groan as Napoleon and his family immigrate to America, and Lafayette becomes the leader of France? That just seems a bit much, while Robespierre gets thrown in prison for apparently radicalizing due to the war, which is very bare bones and ignores the multitude of factors that led to all of that chaos.

Another I find kinda cringey is the depiction of all moderates as sensible, kind angels while the more radical people are depicted as bloodthirsty psychopaths. I mean, this is leaving aside the fact that radicals like Robespierre and Marat were pushing for universal sufferage for all the men, and for freeing slaves, while the moderates made voting require property requirements and divided the citizens to passive and active.
 
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I've been reading that one. It lost me with the new update where Louis is restored to the throne as a constitutional monarch
 
Stop: STOP
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    Mental Omega said:
    On the note of monarchies.

    Restoring dead monarchies out of nowhere is inherently cringe and you're not cool because you like some dusty old family of vacuous inbreds. Especially the Hapsburgs and Hohenzollerns, if you restore the Hohenzollern Kaiserreich for the sake of "wow cool monarchy" or worse yet think that it would be a good thing to have it back; you're a nerd and deserve to be bullied.

    "What if Germany restored the Kaiserreich?"

    What if you showered, went outside, and got laid instead you fucking virgin?
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    The suggestion that 'nerds' 'deserve to be bullied' and the use of virginity as a pejorative make this post rather more aggressive than it needed to be, and as such it has been found in violation of Rule 2: Do Not Be Hateful.
     
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    • Admiral Halsey said:
    I've been reading that one. It lost me with the new update where Louis is restored to the throne as a constitutional monarch
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    I've not read this story but wasn't Louis 16th legitimately left as a constitutional figurehead by the French revolutionaries for some time? He only got axed, or guillotined, when he was caught running away to Austria to gather support to restore his power

    Though to be fair he probably did have reasonable cause to fear for his life
     
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