Remove ads

What's the most Cringeworthy Alternate History you've ever read?

I think Kelvinverse version started out as just Noonien Singh, at least as far as bets canon goes; and SNW has his descendants legally branded with that as their family names
 
Nerdorama said:
Being generous, it could have been dominated by East African Muslims from Somalia or Tanzania, perhaps with the backing of North Africans fleeing European advances.

"Khanate" is just a bad pun.

Personally I like how no borders moved in Asia despite obvious coups in Central Asia and Australasia and East Asia now being framed as a "Resistance", presumably against the superhuman dictators that haven't done any expansion. EDIT: squinted at a box it's resistance against East Asia's own superhuman dictator(s) but still, Khan, buddy, what are you doing.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Something being left out about said events is the person who is claiming this is how the Eugenics war went down in the Kelvin Timeline is actually Khan Noonien Singh himself around the timeframe of the Kelvin timeline's Into Darkness movie. Its not an out of universe narrator describing the events, but an in-universe supposedly first hand account from Khan....but theres a catch:

The thing about Khan is that regardless of timeline, Khan is not the most stable of people, is incredibly biased towards himself when thinking about why things happen, and is still very upset about losing the war. As well, it is actually important to keep in mind that the Eugenics War was actually a full scale collapse in most places. What does this mean? it means that everything about that map is based on the word of an incredibly biased man with no ability to prove its true while having massive motivation to heavily stretch the truth to try and make himself look more sympathetic. Kirk actually does not believe Khan's account to be all that accurate.
 
Last edited:
king of hybrids said:
The Eugenics Wars of the Kelvinverse
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
It's also worth noting in Enterprise that the main doctor, Phlox who is from a species that does a lot of genetic engineering says that whatever type of genetic enhancements Khan and his relatives got was pretty nasty and we also know that the augments tend to have enhancements geared towards violence.

Also in the books Maltuvisland never exists. It's this alien called Maltuvis the Despot who created a bioengineered plague so he could strongarm the rest of his species and then got away with hit because said species supplied the Federation with metals and Maltuvis threatened to cut off the supply
 
An alternate history including neo-Inca terrorists who practice human sacrifice, when it was mostly a mesoamerican thing and not a major part of Tawantinsuyu's cosmology.
 
CastIron said:
How are you gonna have a khanate that doesn't include Mongolia?

Also, why is all of not colonized Africa "caliphates" in the second image? Generally the further south you go the less muslims there are. Was there some mass conversion or conquest, or does the author think that brown = muslim?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Trying to speak seriously rather than more accurate "Author is dumb", "Khanate" is not actually exclusively Mongolian. Khanate is government system. Historically Khanate originates from Mongolia, but there have been multiple non-Mongolian Khanates (especially after collapse of Mongolian empire). For example, Golden Horde was a khanate that didn't control Mongolia. Crimean Khanate is another example.

As for Caliphate, could easily be case of fundamentalist managing to take power after United Africa collapsed and declaring a new Caliphate.
 
Case in point, the Sokoto Caliphate was located in Sub-Saharan West Africa despite:

1:Lacking A Sayyid Ruler
2:Not controlling ANY of the main islamic holy sites
3:Existing at the exact same time as the Ottoman Empire which DID have a Sayyid Ruler, controlled somewhat Mecca and Medina, and also claimed the title of Caliph.

Note that said Caliphate was founded at such an early date as..1804. Sure, the only muslims that actually gave it any level of respecf was the ones they ruled, with the Ottomans being the ones actually considered to hold the title by most sunni(granted, the majority of sunni were also nominally subjects of the Ottomans, even if Egypt and the Barbary States were de facto independent)

More recently? The Boko Haram Insurgency in the same geberal region that the Sokoto Caliphate controlled is a sub-section of ISIS. For those unaware, ISIS has in fact declared itself a Caliphate. In otherwords, said insurgency is basically declarig itself to be part of a Caliphate.

As for Khanate? I would like to point everyone to the Tsardam of Russia. You know, that nation that was never ruled by the roman empire, is neither greek or italian, did not have the roman senate(something even the ERE had to its very end), and such. Didn't stop the Tzars from claiming the title of Caesar, which localized into the word Tzar. The Khanate may partially get its name from its founder, but it is a LONG running trope amongst monarchs to claim titles that they feel are impressive. So declaring yourself to be a Khanate to your many Altaic culture subjects, who I like to remind everyone can be found basically in a wide band going from Mongolia to Volgograd*? Is actually pretty on brand for a megalomaniac like the Khan of the Many AAA's. In fact, its actually probably too tame for someone like him as declaring yourself to be a Khan over people who did actually typically call their kings Khan is too connected to reality.
 
Last edited:
Mandemon said:
Trying to speak seriously rather than more accurate "Author is dumb", "Khanate" is not actually exclusively Mongolian. Khanate is government system. Historically Khanate originates from Mongolia, but there have been multiple non-Mongolian Khanates (especially after collapse of Mongolian empire). For example, Golden Horde was a khanate that didn't control Mongolia. Crimean Khanate is another example.

As for Caliphate, could easily be case of fundamentalist managing to take power after United Africa collapsed and declaring a new Caliphate.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I was just joking around with the Khanate line, probably should have put an /s. But as for the Caliphates, I know there were multiple states that claimed the title, some at the same time, but I found it weird that basically all of sub-saharan Africa was labeled as "Caliphates" with little changes in borders, which kinda implied to me that each country was actually it's own Caliphate.
 
CastIron said:
I was just joking around with the Khanate line, probably should have put an /s. But as for the Caliphates, I know there were multiple states that claimed the title, some at the same time, but I found it weird that basically all of sub-saharan Africa was labeled as "Caliphates" with little changes in borders, which kinda implied to me that each country was actually it's own Caliphate.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Nah, I think the entire yellow is supposed to be one singular Caliphate, the map just uses modern borders to contextualize things
 
I don't believe I've shown this future timeline here, but this is legitimately one of the worst timelines I have ever seen.

Ladies, gentlemen and enbies: Children of Dusk


Ideologies:


Religion:


Transhumanism:
 
What is Children of Dusk about even, honestly that map looks like someone looked at modern world and went "BALKANIZE EVERYTHING!"
 
Hawkatana said:
I don't believe I've shown this future timeline here, but this is legitimately one of the worst timelines I have ever seen.

Ladies, gentlemen and enbies: Children of Dusk


Ideologies:


Religion:


Transhumanism:
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
As I mentioned before, CoD features the worst example of "strong always win than the weak" message and that America is always strong than ever (despite the fact that it was invaded by the combined Eurasian nations a la Shattered Citadel on both coasts).

That, and open contempt to LGBT as well (to the point that, in the current day of the TL, that it was basically genocided out through genetics.)
 
Last edited:
You know, one of the most ironic thing that the author of Children of Dusk implicitly did is that they managed to preserved liberalism in its principles in the TL, even if it forced to transformed its ideology in a way that would make people running The City in Sleepless Domain blush to no end.
 
Hawkatana said:
I don't believe I've shown this future timeline here, but this is legitimately one of the worst timelines I have ever seen.

Ladies, gentlemen and enbies: Children of Dusk


Ideologies:


Religion:


Transhumanism:
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I feel like having someone write an alternate future timeline is a good litmus test. If China and Russia are broken into a billion little shitty States but the US of A and Europe are fine then I don't trust you.
 
Okay to be fair, western Europe is balkanised. But America still isn't (and even has colonies in Siberia, Taiwan, Sakhalin, Hokkaido, Svalbard, Antarctica, Greenland and Scotland) so your point stands.
 
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top