The Harvest Comedy
Part Α
ΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠΠ
The first sign that something was amiss were the nymphs. The lampads either sank into their mothers' rivers or hurried off into the seclusion of Persephone's Garden. Every which-a-way Hades could see,
and he could see it all, his realm was overtaken by a disturbance.
It felt familiar, it felt old, and it felt like a bad memory. "My sister is here", Hades muttered aloud. The sound of his word boomed despite himself, and in the distance he saw the Fields of Asphodel swaying toward and from his palace, as if there was something pulling them from his grasp. This was a contest, and for what reason it was taking place he didn't dare presume.
"Persephone is with you! It's Spring! What do you want with me Demeter?" He called out into the distance, where his sister was no doubt peeling away the edges of his domain looking for a way to his palace.
The nymphs in the garden perked up at the mention of his vacated wife, She was good to them he supposed. That and the constant squabbles on this side of the family could keep even the oldest of the dead entertained for an eternity. She never quits, every year without fail, she pouts, his wife leaves him and he has to take it.
The only thing that was odd was that this was the wrong part of the year. He sometimes lost track from day to day, but surely she had Persephone for at least a few more months? What madness had possessed her to come here now, and with this fury.
It baffled him, truly it did.
Neither of his brothers would have dared to trespass this way. Come into his domain and twist it about like it was a toy, a plaything to be moved out the way. If she had come to lecture him then she'd be duly disappointed.
However, since he'd spoken aloud the intensity only continued to build, and the fields blew away from the obsidian walls of his palace and instead toward the boundary between the Earth and Hades.
The God of the Underworld would have been content to let this go on until his sister had calmed down, until they could talk this out sensibly. Her head was always in the clouds these days, but Demeter had her moments.
"And you used to be so orderly," he said to himself, "Now look at this mess."
The lesser rivers had all petered out to a trickle, the Phlegethon was somehow running cold, and Styx had…stopped??
"That can't be right."
That got his attention, and from there he left his veranda to see the river up close. "Why can't I ever have a peaceful day?"
"Is it so much to ask?" he said, nearing the bank of the river.
"If I'm not happy then you don't get to be either." Came a voice to his side, groggy and irritable.
'Styx? Now that's a sight for sore eyes.'
"Usually I mind my own business, but this is getting old. You two woke me up and now I'm awake," She groaned, sounding half-submerged.
'That's the same point'
"And look at poor Phlegethon," she said lazily gesturing to the now coal-warm river on the other side of the bank, "He's cold! COLD!"
Apparently this bit of manifesting was exhausting for her, because she started yawning whilst stepping back into her waters "Talk to
Erinys before I
really wake up, and give you
both a
bath."
"Styx, I ca-"
"
Good Night! Hades…"
With that threat under his belt, the Lord of the Underworld finally let Demeter through. He wasn't afraid, but he had enough inconveniences to worry about with Styx trying to drown him every time she wakes up.
With a wave of his hand, he let go the shroud that hid his domain from unwanted guests, and that finally quieted Demeter down.
For a moment,
before she stormed at him, carving up the ground like a harvest plow.
'Real subtle.'
It was hardly a second before they were face to face, Lords of the Harvests, eye contact unbroken.
'She's actually furious with me?'
"Welcome to the Underworld my sister, you're early this year." he said trying his hardest to be civil, with his kingdom in disarray.
A beat passed.
The nymphs and household creatures had long since ran for a more secure hiding place than Persephone's hanging gardens.
Nothing new there, Cerberus had gone to his favorite spot before Hades had even noticed the intrusion. This was, to one level or another, pretty much protocol for a family squabble. They happened every 80 years or so. Usually one of them would buckle after Persephone showed up to break them apart. These could get quite tiresome, and by the end up of it, one of them had a surplus of mortals. He really didn't feel in the mood for this, the last century hadn't left him with the kind of spunk he'd need for these.
This was more than evident from his divided attention during the contest. Hades noticed something in his sister's hands that took him back for just a moment.
'It's been awhile since she'd carried one of those around'
The lapse in his expression showed enough weakness for Demeter to launch into her trademark tirades.
'I suppose that wasn't one for the history books....'
"I'm getting too old for this treatment" he said in almost a whisper as she laid into him.
"What right did you have to trespass into my domain!", "I should have never given you that basket of
Pears!", "I should have stood my ground in 1816, but noooo-" It went on like that for a longer than it had a right to.
Summoning what was left of his patience, Hades only responded with a question.
"What. Are. You. Talking. About?"
"Why did you send
this to attack my child?!" she said while shoving a zombie head in his face, "And the
Vyrkolakas?"
"This is how you get an everlasting Spring! Is that what you want Aidoneus, cause so help me-"
The river started getting violent as her voice kept rising. Demeter barely noticed.
"You sent a man-eating beast after my favorite!"
Favorite? He'd never do something like that to Persephone, she knows that. Doesn't she?
It had to be a half-blood she was talking about, or he was going to be more insulted than he ever thought was possible at this point.
"You had a new spawn?" Hades inquired sincerely. "I didn't know."
He truly hadn't paid much attention to Demeter's earthly exploits. If it didn't have to do with Persephone or Cereal, he wouldn't have believed she were involved anyway.
He'd hoped that his response would make her reassess the situation, calm herself, perhaps?
No such luck.
'I'll be here till the summer's over at this rate'
Hades growing annoyance with us because he kept sending zombies to watch over us when we were smol and we keep sending them away/killing them
Not the direction I'm going in, but this is definitely the inspiration.
