"Oh, hey, another kiss PoD, sweet!"

> Put that stupid cello away!

Oh.

> I HATE YOU!

Oh no.

> So really, anyone else would do. You just happened to be here at the right time.

Please God no.

> The mental image of kissing Ryoji Kaji was the only thing that made this experience close to bearable for me.

Make it stop. :cry:
 
Chapter 5.5 10/15/2015 (6:13 AM)
Well, it's just past midnight here, so technically it's Tuesday. So, here's the next one :)

Sadly, this will probably be the only segment for the week. And until we reach Chapter 6, there may only be one post at a time. Gotta keep that buffer.

Anyway, this one is Hikari's POV. Enjoy :)


•6:13 AM

*ring ring ring*

I put down the bento box I'm making, and dash over to the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Hikari", says the voice on the other end.

"Hi Asuka," I respond cheerily. "You're sure up early today. What's up?"

"Oh...nothing really."

I can tell at once that she's lying to me. Aside from the fact that Asuka is NEVER up this early, I also notice something in her tone.

"Actually, I wanted to see if you'd be up to walking to school together this morning," Asuka continues.

Slightly taken aback by this odd request, I hesitate. Normally, Asuka walks to school with Shinji, or alone. I do walk home with her sometimes, but still...this is the first time she's asked to walk TO school with me; probably because I leave so early in the morning, and Asuka tends to leave at the last minute.

It makes me wonder if something is wrong. "Uh, well, sure Asuka. But..."

"But what?" The question sounds rather tense. Unsure of how to voice my concerns, I choose to wait until I meet up with her to ask any questions.

"Nothing," I answer quickly. "I just need to finish packing lunches for me and my sisters, and I'll be right over."

"Okay." Asuka sounds grateful...relieved almost. "I'll see you soon then?"

"Yeah," I tell her. "I'll be on my way out in about ten minutes."

"Alright," she says, "I'll see you when you get here. Bye."

"Bye Asuka." And I put the phone back on the hook.

'That was strange.' I say to myself. Not only is Asuka up early, but...she asked, not practically demanded, but ASKED if I could walk to school with her. And what's more, she seemed genuinely grateful that I agreed. Almost like she was afraid I'd say 'no'. Well, I suppose I might get some answers when I see her.

Soon, I finish packing the lunches. Before placing them in the fridge, I label them 'Kodama' and 'Nozomi'. Then, turning around to grab my bag, I call out a hurried goodbye to Father and head for the door.

A short time later, I walk down the street, Asuka's apartment building looming closer and closer until, looking straight ahead, I see Asuka herself as well as Mr. Kaji sitting on a bench outside. They appear to be deep in conversation.

Given Asuka's feelings for him, I'd have expected her to look happier while having an intimate conversation with the 'man of her dreams' as she has so frequently referred to him. But I can see, even from here, that she looks deeply troubled, not to mention careworn.

Asuka normally goes out of her way to look clean and tidy, and is especially finicky about her hair; frequently she has refused to go out somewhere with me on the grounds that she has no time to fix her hair.

This morning, her red mane is completely disheveled, and looking closer, I see that she hasn't even put in her red barrettes. I frown slightly, and think to myself, 'Something must be wrong. This isn't like Asuka at all.'

And although I usually disapprove of eavesdropping, I decide to try to catch some of the words drifting their way towards me. But they're speaking in such low voices that I can't hear a word until I'm nearly on top of them.

"-ve my word that by the time you talk with her, she'll at least be reasonable," the older man is saying in a reassuring voice.

So, it's probably an issue with her guardian, Miss Katsuragi. Deciding not to make my eavesdropping obvious, I call out to make my presence known. "Hey, Asuka!"

Asuka and Mr. Kaji turn to face me, Asuka rising to her feet. "Hi Hikari," she replies. She attempts a smile, but it looks forced.

Deciding to withhold my questions for later, I turn to greet Mr. Kaji as I come to a stop in front of them.

"Good morning Miss Horaki," Mr. Kaji replies with a smile. "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," I respond with a bow. As I straighten up, I note that Mr. Kaji himself looks tired and troubled.

Turning back to Asuka, I ask, "So are we ready to go?"

"Yeah," she nods. "I'm all set."

"Alright," I say, smiling. And with that, we walk away side by side. "Bye Mr. Kaji," I call over my shoulder.

To my right, Asuka stops, and turns to look at Kaji.. "See you later then," she says to him. "And Kaji..." She pauses, seemingly unsure of how to word her thoughts. After a moment, she smiles; a sad smile, but genuine. "Thank you."

Kaji smiles back, before turning away to leave.

Proceeding forward, we walk in silence for awhile. Looking over at Asuka, I notice that far from walking with her usual straight-backed posture, head held high and tilted up so as to stare down her nose at anyone of equal or lesser height...her eyes are downcast and at times, she seems to be staring at the ground. Her shoulders are slumped, her head slightly bowed, and she seems to be clutching her books to her chest rather tightly.

Unable to withhold my curiosity any longer, I turn to my friend.

"Asuka?" I ask tentatively. "Are you okay?"

Asuka's head snaps up before turning to face me. "Huh? Whaaa? Uh, yeah, I'm...uh, fine Hikari. N-never better."

She flashes a big toothy smile about as convincing as a tabloid news headline.

"Asuka," I say in a voice firmer than I would normally use with her, "Come on. I can tell that something is going on here, and that whatever it is is eating you up inside."

Asuka recoils a little at my tone, but quickly counters, "It's nothing! Don't worry about it, Hikari."

Not to be deterred, I press on, "Asuka...you're not acting like yourself today. I mean, you're never up this early for one thing, you look like you haven't slept at all in the last twenty-four hours, and...it's kind of obvious that you haven't brushed your hair at-"

Asuka turns her alarmingly fierce glare towards me mid-sentence. "So what, you'd rather not have walked with me then?! Just because I look a little more scruffy than usual?!"

Horrified, I hurriedly cry out, "it's not like that Asuka! I'm just concerned is all." Asuka continues to frown, though her anger seems to be fading quickly.

"Asuka," I say gently, "you're my friend. It's normal for someone to worry when their friends are acting strangely. I really didn't mean any offense, and-"

"I know, I know," Asuka cuts across, sounding impatient. But her expression softens slightly, despite her tone. "I know you didn't mean to upset me. No one ever does, really. And yet..." She trails off, raising her arm in a one-armed shrug of exasperation.

But the jab seems directed at herself, judging by the mournful expression working its way across her face.

We walk in silence for several more minutes. All the while, I try to brainstorm a way to get Asuka to open up to me. Then I remember...

Her date last night! Maybe it went really badly. I mean...what I overheard her saying to Kaji doesn't seem to line up with that being the problem, but...at least if I broach the subject, maybe it'll lead to more revelations about what's bothering her.

"So, um," I begin tentatively, as Asuka turns to face me, "how was...how was your date with Yoshiaki?"

Asuka scowls. "Ugh. Let me answer that with another question. How tall would you say he is?"

"Uh," I frown at the strange question. "About 5' 7" I guess?"

"5' 7" huh? I didn't know you could stack shit that high," Asuka deadpans.

Well, that answers that I guess.

Part of me wants to giggle, and part of me wants to reproach her for her vulgarity.

I settle for mild disapproval. "Asuka, surely he wasn't that bad."

Asuka rolls her eyes, probably finding my 'prudishness' annoying. "He was a goddamn joke. Vain, shallow, pretentious...and," her scowl deepens, "he kinda creeped me out. It was weird. He tried to put up a front of being some sort of proper gentleman....while at the same time invading my personal space in a way that was clearly intentional, all the while trying to play it all off as accidental or just his 'natural awkwardness'. In other words," her eyes narrow dangerously, "I saw right though him. The way he kept...looking at me..."

Even in her indignation, I could swear that at one moment, Asuka had forcefully repressed a shudder.

I myself could not suppress the shiver I felt at her words. Toshiro Yoshiaki always seemed alright to me, though...now I think back...his interactions with Kodama...and sometimes myself...were fraught with 'uncomfortably awkward' moments where he had seemed to lack a sense of personal space.

Maybe it's just Asuka being paranoid. Honestly, she seems to have unreasonably high standards for boys.

But still...

'I'll have to watch Yoshiaki a little more closely next time Kodama has him over.'

Returning to the problem at hand though....

However unpleasant Asuka's date was, she doesn't seem to be willing to elaborate on how it's connected to her demeanor this morning.

Indeed, she's fallen silent once more, giving absolutely no indication that she has anything further to add. I know she doesn't want my help...or maybe she's just too proud to ask...but I can't just let her stew in her misery like this.

Though it seemed like Mr. Kaji had no trouble talking to her earlier...

Then it hits me. 'Kaji! Of course!'

It HAS to be something to do with him. Maybe he'd finally put his foot down and fully rejected her, the way he should have a long time ago. Not that I don't want Asuka to be happy, but I've always disapproved of Asuka seeking the affections of a thirty year old man.

I mostly kept that disapproval to myself out of respect, but I always told myself that if he did showed any signs of 'accepting' Asuka's advances...well, I certainly wouldn't have kept silent any longer. But, he never struck me as 'that' type, given that he always kept Asuka at arm's length, and seemed profoundly uncomfortable with her solicitations.

Still, he also never seemed willing to just tell her that it could never work between them, preferring to divert her attention, or casually brush her off. He probably hoped she'd get the point and just give up eventually...perhaps, at long last, he's stopped beating around the bush.

Still, if that's the case, I know Asuka must be hurting right now. I hope he wasn't too hard on her.

"Asuka?"

"Hmm?" Asuka looks up.

"Are you upset because of Mr. Kaji?"

Asuka looks confused for a minute...then she starts to laugh, an odd and slightly disturbing laugh; humorless yet somehow...not forced either.

"Um, Asuka?"

-------------------------------------
 
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This gets more disturbing as it goes on - and Asuka doesn't help it by being her two bickering selves, which shines through even from other points of view.
 
"He was a goddamn joke. Vain, shallow, pretentious...and," her scowl deepens, "he kinda creeped me out. It was weird. He tried to put up a front of being some sort of proper gentleman....while at the same time invading my personal space in a way that was clearly intentional, all the while trying to play it all off as accidental or just his 'natural awkwardness'. In other words," her eyes narrow dangerously, "I saw right though him. The way he kept...looking at me..."
So... Kind of the opposite of how Shinji treats you. Just saying, Asuka...
Honestly, she seems to have unreasonably high standards for boys.
Painfully ironic, now, considering how she panicked at the phantom of Shinji leaving her if she let him get closer to her.

Come on, Asuka. It's pretty obvious to Hikari that you're a mess, unkempt, and so wound up you're nearly twitching. Talk to her, at least a bit.
 
Hikari seems to be quite observant, but Asuka is being so much of an open book right now that even the likes of Touji could clearly see something is not right.
 
I'll give Asuka about half the day before she ends up having some sort of breakdown and either flees and Misato/Kaji have to track her down or she ends up hurting someone. I can't see her managing to last an entire day there at all.

As others have said, she is making it so obvious something is wrong. She needs to get that out or something.
 
At least Shinji will be able to see that she does regret it (well, until the next time Asuka puts her foot in her mouth makes him believe that is just another lie).

Not that he is under any obligation to forgive her. What she did was very, very rotten.
 
That is the Berserk Hate face.
Said face would probably invoke the Uncanny Valley, what with the clear dissonance between the laughing Unsmile on her mouth and the unhappiness evident in her eyes.

Hm... there're a a few really good images of crying while smilng, Sayaka Miki's farewell, a few of Taiga Aisaka's scenes, and Menma's 'you found me'.
But the truly insane laughters come from characters enjoying things too much to cry, or are so mentally warped they don't even feel normal emotions anymore.

So that sounds like a mix of Shion Sonozaki and Sayaka Miki.
 
It is certainly going to be interesting to see if they do actually have any interaction at all in school. They sit pretty much next to one another. (Asuka is in front of Shinji right? I can't remember) so it's not like they can really avoid one another.

Their friends are bound to pick up on their interactions, even more so if Rei gets involved somehow. That said will Shinji even be attending school? Could maybe see him being given a day off or something.
 
Imagine the fallout if the fact got screamed to the entire class that the only reason Shinji is still alive is because he didn't want to give Asuka the satisfaction.
 
Imagine the fallout if the fact got screamed to the entire class that the only reason Shinji is still alive is because he didn't want to give Asuka the satisfaction.
That would require Asuka to be stupid enough to broach the subject with Shinji in class, because I don't see Shinji deliberately involving outsiders.

Which, to be fair, she might be.
 
Imagine the fallout if the fact got screamed to the entire class that the only reason Shinji is still alive is because he didn't want to give Asuka the satisfaction.
I... don't know if you want that. Because except for her looks, Asuka already does have it really hard, being the foreigner in a country as xenophobic as Japan.
 
I... don't know if you want that. Because except for her looks, Asuka already does have it really hard, being the foreigner in a country as xenophobic as Japan.
We never see any evidence of Asuka facing hardship because she is a foreigner. On the contrary, the show portrays her quickly rising to the top of the pecking order in the Tokyo-3 school and receiving a stupefying number of love letters.

Asuka's problems come from elsewhere.
 
Yes, that's what we see in the show.

Yet, when all disillusionment about taking her out/scoring her fades, she'll only be a babarian half-blood to most of them.
 
What this Asuka needs, as harsh as it is, is to have her pride utterly shattered - I'm afraid I don't see any other way of her getting past that block she has when she tries to confront her feelings for Shinji.
On the bright side, she seems well on the way to doing that to herself. The voice of spiteful pride in her internal arguments has the upper hand for now, but the sheer pain it's bringing her and that she's inflicting on someone even she acknowledges cares about her is rapidly breaking that down. We have seen there's at least a part of her that wants to apologize and beg forgiveness, for him to hold her like that again. As to whether she'll reach that point before utterly falling to pieces...
(Asuka is in front of Shinji right? I can't remember)
A few behind him and to his right, usually.
 
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