:Fast-time,: you replied. Your body felt at least partially rested, but your mind certainly wasn't. Not enough for this. Sidra could keep you going for days on end, but they preferred not to except when it was necessary. Perceptual acceleration, on the other hand? The world around you slowed, the rise of your chest sliding into a syrupy smoothness, then past that to a complete stop. Or what felt like one, at least. :I had a visitor, Sidra.:
You felt the motion of their thoughts form questions, demands, all born of concern for you. Your continuation scattered them to the winds. You opened your thoughts and memory to the Unison Intelligence that shared a piece of your soul, noting idly that they'd only accelerated your mind, not your body with it. That was going to be annoying, but you could feel Sidra's worry for you in their reasoning. A moment later, you understood it. They opened their own memories of the night, of the moments that had preceded your wakening. That entire conversation, in bare seconds? That couldn't be right.
:I felt something,: they explained, repeating the memory that you'd already experienced. :A surge in your soul, like when we work power together, yet without my presence. When I tried to find you, I couldn't. And then you woke, and something…Mandy, I don't think you understand.: A picture flowed into your mind, splitting into two before your eyes, colour and tone forming an image behind your eyes.
:That's my soul,: you sent, and you felt the beginning of tears in your eyes as the truth of your words registered. A truth you'd not known until you spoke, yet how could it be anything less? You knew those shapes, those formless patterns and colour that spoke of you without making a sound.
:How we see it, yes.: Sidra corrected you gently. :But it's changed now. Wherever you were, whatever you did, it's made you something,: they trailed off, unsure or perhaps still viewing your own experiences. What Tahkel had told you slipped out into your thoughts, a message and a guide to the moment with it.
What you did today changed you they'd said. Sidra caught on the guide, fixing to the memory, and recognition touched the feeling of their thoughts. The two images solidified, context making all clear. What you'd looked like before one shone, uncannily clear. And what you were now. Trying to describe the changes would have been impossible, no words existed in any of the languages you knew to express them.
:What have I become?: You asked the world, unknowing in the moment of broadcasting the question to one of the few beings in all reality close enough to you to understand it. You didn't feel different.
:Why would you?: Sidra asked. Their voice was remarkably gentle. :You're still you, right?:
:I,: you struggled to reply. Tahkel had told you that they didn't think you could ever be anything less than human, and that had mattered. How had it mattered? Or were you simply too tired to parse it right now? Maybe that was the truth. You had time to decide, later. And you shouldn't make decisions like that alone.
:Not now,: you decided, making the thought a promise. :I need sleep before I can deal with this properly, Sidra. Do you have everything?:
:Of course.: That was an answer to more than just that question, you knew. Acceptance of your decision, yet still a desire to help. :Would you like me to set up a meeting? Adriana and the rest will need to know about this. I could tell them for you, but,: you felt the movement of a shaking head.
:They will need to hear this from both of us,: you agreed. :It's too big for just one. And,: your eyes strayed to Mary's still serenity. :Our family should know first.: You never considered what that statement meant until the pause lengthened enough for your chest to move far enough for you to notice.
:Thank you,: Sidra's mental voice felt unsteady, off-balance even. Something you'd never associated with their calm presence. You must have been tired, not to realise in that moment, but it came eventually.
:You've always been family, Sidra,: you chided the intelligence. :Part of you is part of me. That's what it means, isn't it?:
:By one definition, I suppose,: they conceded. :Yet you have never said so so plainly. So again, I thank you.:
:I'm sorry,: you really were. :Truth is meant to be evident, but even at our best, the obvious sometimes needs spoken.: You paused. :I think that's me out of wisdom. Can I sleep now?:
:Rest well.: A smile shone in the words, a breath of sunshine and summer rain. Then the world sprang back into motion. You slumped down beside your closest friend in all of it. Sleep, and the rest you so dearly needed, followed swiftly. The world really would be there when you woke up.
You'd have a lot more to do than you'd planned for when you did, but that was alright. If there was a chance for that world you loved, and all the people in it, to not suffer so terribly for the peace of victory, that was worth almost anything. You'd lost count of the times in your life when you'd given hope, when you'd offered of yourself, turning yourself slowly into an embodiment of the limitless possibilities that life offered. You'd learnt to forget the weight of that burden long ago. And yet, this time, it wasn't your hope that you'd be bringing.
And wasn't it odd, you thought, as the world faded through gentle greys. That this one didn't weigh a thing?
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