Remove ads

The Multiverse is a Big Place(SI)

Reader mode
LONE WOLF 666 said:
I like the old ruthless hiver:(. What happen to him?.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
He started writing protagonists that more closely resemble humans instead of gary stu wank fics?

Its hilarious how much you guys are complaining about this. The only problem Hiver is suffering from in this fic is that he isn't dropping enough hints in the writing.
 
LONE WOLF 666 said:
I like the old ruthless hiver:(. What happen to him?.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
His SI Winter is quite literally handicapped (mentally emotionally, spiritually, or both) by Magic: the Gathering gameplay constraints, in particular his mana/land collection apparently lacking in Blue.

I'll cop to not being a fan, at all, of gameplay mechanic-forced induced plot points/characterization, and MtG looks to be particularly offensive (from what's been brought up in discussion) in that regard.

Well, I'll get off my soapbox now. The current thread drama doesn't need any additional fuel for the proverbial fire.
 
Arimai said:
You have no sense of humor. The author likes jokes. I was going for mild sarcasm and slight taunting. If I wanted to harrass the author as you claim there are much, much better ways.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I don't find it particularly funny. Please, don't put words in my mouth.

But I got better things to do than to bother with people complaining that the character i write is not enough of a power wank.


EDIT: Damn spellchecker.
 
Hiver said:
But I got better things to do than to bother with people complaining that the character i write is not enough of a power wank.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I don't know about the others but for me it has more to do with the lack of common sense decisions, and inconstancy of the choices made. The lack of power is just a side effect of those poor choices.
 
Lancealot said:
Yeah I'm done with this, if I'm lucky survivor will start updating faster.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Lancealot said:
I don't know about the others but for me it has more to do with the lack of common sense decisions, and inconstancy of the choices made. The lack of power is just a side effect of those poor choices.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Why are you still here? Either use constructive criticism, be quiet, or like I suggested earlier Leave. As Your harassment of Hiver is not wanted or needed.

Now Hiver, on the limitations of first person, try and find another character that you can use as a point of view character. Like how you did when you were a Goa'uld. Like an ascended in the Stargate 'verse wondering if their meddling has worked permanently, and have them mention that they got rid of you because Planewalkers are nearly always unstable due to their connections to their lands.
 
SemiSaneAuthor said:
Now Hiver, on the limitations of first person, try and find another character that you can use as a point of view character. Like how you did when you were a Goa'uld. Like an ascended in the Stargate 'verse wondering if their meddling has worked permanently, and have them mention that they got rid of you because Planewalkers are nearly always unstable due to their connections to their lands.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
That is a idea. Not a ancient, but it is possible there might be some of a natives or even Mary's point of view at some point.
 
Hiver said:
That is a idea. Not a ancient, but it is possible there might be some of a natives or even Mary's point of view at some point.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Happy to help, you might also consider some third person, though it be hard to work in at this point with 156 pages of thread. But with third person you could just point out the mana tampering ... maybe third person of another's point of view. Like the Bandit you let live, say have him walking through the woods being thankful that he's alive, wondering who you were in third person, and then have the third person narrator mention in the narration about how planewalkers become unstable due to their connections to Land's.
 
Arimai said:
Exactly. The character does not develop to the conclusion, he just changes instantly.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
It was MEANT to be sudden! He had his mind fucked with in addition to what the lands already slowly did!

I think it's the forth time i explain this. Did i have to write it in big yellow letters (THERE ARE MIND MAGIC GOING ON HERE!) in the middle of the chapter?

There is only so many things you can explain in a first person perspective. The character dont know about it yet! Why would he be thinking about it!?


Either way, drop it. I'm not changing it.
 
Ixenathier said:
One thing that I find funny is that you already told us in the story that external magic effects how you think back in Buffy-land. Did no one think that drawing power from lands would not have a similar effect to calling on Powers?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Different effect. In 'buffyland' it is more a case of going nuts as you cant handle channeling that much power.

In the case of lands it's more a case of your thought pattern being a bit pulled in the direction of the kinds of lands you have. Red for example make you more likely to act on emotions. You are still 'you' you are just more likely to not think things through except maybe afterwards.
 
Hiver said:
In the case of lands it's more a case of your thought pattern being a bit pulled in the direction of the kinds of lands you have. Red for example make you more likely to act on emotions. You are still 'you' you are just more likely to not think things through except maybe afterwards.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
So basically you become Harry Potter? :p
 
Hiver said:
-snip-
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
And there would be our Red mana at work.

Seriously though, you need blue and black, and you need them fast. Maybe a throwaway comment in your internal narrative pointing you towards getting the blue at least? So you have the complete set. That's likely to help with all this... mess...
 
Mizuki_Stone said:
Seriously though, you need blue and black, and you need them fast. Maybe a throwaway comment in your internal narrative pointing you towards getting the blue at least? So you have the complete set. That's likely to help with all this... mess...
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I thought i did in the last part..
 
Question? Do Genius Loci's exist in ASoFaI? Or could there be ones that just don't interfere with Humanity that much? As if its possible then the Land you are going to connect to could be the one that points out your imbalance.
 
Atreides said:
*minor spoiler from the books* The trees they worship as "the old gods" are repositories of ancient knowledge and work as a hive mind, that might count.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I was more thinking an actual spirit, a bona fided being that is tied to a certain location and lives while that location lives. Not what you mentioned.
 
Hiver said:
It was MEANT to be sudden! He had his mind fucked with in addition to what the lands already slowly did!

I think it's the forth time i explain this. Did i have to write it in big yellow letters (THERE ARE MIND MAGIC GOING ON HERE!) in the middle of the chapter?

There is only so many things you can explain in a first person perspective. The character dont know about it yet! Why would he be thinking about it!?


Either way, drop it. I'm not changing it.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I get that you wouldn't directly be thinking about it in the first person but from a narrative perspective if something is relevant to understanding the plot there should be sufficient evidence in the story to show it is there. The way you skip over time and don't show actual events also makes it impossible to notice such changes as they are happening from the gradual change. It just looks like your character is making random decisions.

You need to chose a way of letting us in on those aspects of the story, if you want it to work as a story. There are different ways to do it. You could give a temporary secondary viewpoint to show the stuff. You could deliberately draw attention to the though processes that lead to the mana influenced actions. Like focusing on the fear, or irritation at having to care for the SGverse long term, and making the decision more impulsive instead of planned. You could have also shown the emotions that lead you to hesitate enough to spare her. The important part is make the clues attention grabbing, and out of the ordinary. Maybe have your character make a threw away comment about something he does (or feels) seems odd even to him.

In other words you need better foreshadowing. This entire thing would also be less of an issue if we were reading it as one story instead of spread out snippets.

I'm hoping that sudden moment of realization of what is going on once he gets that blue land. Maybe he should start to slightly favor blue mana to make himself introspective enough to try and catch this type of thing quicker.

As a series of events this makes sense but as a story it needs to handle it better.
 
Drexal15 said:
Read Zem Read them NOW!

There are Plot points and such only revealed in later!

Besides the Fight scenes with tyrion in the books are much better. The 'Half-man' ends up beating several knights in combat!:D (Serious)
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I do plan on getting them, but the local library don't have them which mean i have to buy them.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top