- Location
- Just passing through.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Yeah, honestly I would appreciate if you shown me all the mistakes that you found, I can't fix them if I don't know where they are after all.
The Green Beast of the South (Legend of Korra Quest)
- Thread starter Enmascarado
- Start date
- Location
- Night's Plutonian Shore
- Location
- Leeds
Well since you asked.Yeah, honestly I would appreciate if you shown me all the mistakes that you found, I can't fix them if I don't know where they are after all.
Opening Post.
missing word
First Thread mark
Grammatically correct, but at face value its blatantly false and as a term of endearment probably also wrong.
Try 'Honey, it is useless,'.
Dead of the Avatar was the best horror mover Varrick will ever write.
Nothing wrong with this sentence, I just chose to belive that Godzilla crews a life boat in your AU.
Second threadmark
Without remorse doesn't read well, however that's grammatically correct. The the is not.
Pick a tense and stick in it.
Caveman speak; no good. Try using 'is'.
Nothing wrong her just Ug the healer strikes me as an odd sort.
There must be a mistake here. Maito Gai has no bad traits.
Something is wrong with this opening bit but I can't put my finger on it. If necessary apply the Bludflag signal, he'll know.
Also estrange rears its head again.
This is redundant
Apples entrance into the robotic nursmaid market, the Ilady.
Threadmark 4, Threadmark Harder.
Not wrong grammatically, but I know from context you mean 'can't'.
Unless your universe is populated by TRexes... Godzilla the lifeguard intensifies.
Missing word.
Not wrong as far as I know but I'd find it easier if it read 'my dream self' rather than .me of the dream'.
I'm not going to touch this one. I believe in you.
Tenses.
What a bizarre greeting.
Even seems to have ended up in the wrong place.
Gimmie a kick tomorrow and I'll try and finish it then.
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Could run the updates through Grammarly, it's a good spelling and grammar checker.Yeah, honestly I would appreciate if you shown me all the mistakes that you found, I can't fix them if I don't know where they are after all.
- Location
- Remnant.
[X] Dynamic Entry!
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
- Location
- BaWü
We are the reincarnation of Gai so of course we learn about the gates
[X] Dynamic Entry!
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
ChildishChimera
A umbran summon
- Location
- New York
[X] Dynamic Entry!
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
- Location
- Just passing through.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I laughed more than I should with that, I blame the Godzilla jokes.Well since you asked.
Opening Post.
missing word
First Thread mark
Grammatically correct, but at face value its blatantly false and as a term of endearment probably also wrong.
Try 'Honey, it is useless,'.
Dead of the Avatar was the best horror mover Varrick will ever write.
Nothing wrong with this sentence, I just chose to belive that Godzilla crews a life boat in your AU.
Second threadmark
Without remorse doesn't read well, however that's grammatically correct. The the is not.
Pick a tense and stick in it.
Caveman speak; no good. Try using 'is'.
Nothing wrong her just Ug the healer strikes me as an odd sort.
There must be a mistake here. Maito Gai has no bad traits.
Threadmark the third. You cheated by making this one short.
Something is wrong with this opening bit but I can't put my finger on it. If necessary apply the Bludflag signal, he'll know.
Also estrange rears its head again.
This is redundant
Apples entrance into the robotic nursmaid market, the Ilady.
Threadmark 4, Threadmark Harder.
Not wrong grammatically, but I know from context you mean 'can't'.
Unless your universe is populated by TRexes... Godzilla the lifeguard intensifies.
Missing word.
Not wrong as far as I know but I'd find it easier if it read 'my dream self' rather than .me of the dream'.
I'm not going to touch this one. I believe in you.
Tenses.
What a bizarre greeting.
Even seems to have ended up in the wrong place.
Gimmie a kick tomorrow and I'll try and finish it then.
But anyway thanks for that, I fixed all of them, well, I hope so.
- Location
- nz
[X] Dynamic Entry!
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
-[X] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
Vote Tally : The Green Beast of the South (Legend of Korra Quest) | Page 24 | Sufficient Velocity
##### NetTally 1.7.4
[9] Dynamic Entry!
-[9] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
[1] You have your opponent, break off his line of sight, wait for him to pursue, then DYNAMIC ENTRY him again, this time boxing him in with Earth pillars.
[1] Punch him really fucking hard with an Earthbending assisted uppercut to knock him out.
Total No. of Voters: 11
##### NetTally 1.7.4
[9] Dynamic Entry!
-[9] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
[1] You have your opponent, break off his line of sight, wait for him to pursue, then DYNAMIC ENTRY him again, this time boxing him in with Earth pillars.
[1] Punch him really fucking hard with an Earthbending assisted uppercut to knock him out.
Total No. of Voters: 11
- Location
- Just passing through.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Ok, votes close and I think we have a clear winner.
Double Fail.
- Location
- Just passing through.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[x] Dynamic Entry!
-[x] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
-[x] Assist the guards by striking at their opponents unexpectedly.
This was a fight that I couldn't win on my own, I knew as much, these people were in a different level than me when it comes to fighting skills, but the doesn't mean that I was just going to hide and do nothing.
My burning flame of Youth won't leave me ignore such attack against my allies; I will help them, from the shadows!
Stealth: E
Past Life Connection: D (X O) >>> D+ (O O)
But before, I made another earth wall to block the door behind me and stop my would-be kidnapper.
"Another wall!? You're an annoying brat!"
That should give me some time.
Cautions: F+++
After that I began to move through the battlefield.
I kicked people behind the legs, create wall to protect some guards, and of course created many earth pillars under the attackers.
Strong Fist: E+++
Direct Contact: E+
Thanks to my size it was really easy to stay hidden, most of the people were distracted by they own combats too, so I could move without any problem.
Until streak of fire passed very close to me, when I turn around I see that one of those attackers was walking right at me, I think is the same one that attack me first.
"Not more running away brat!"
Yup, the same one.
"Now stay still whil- agh!" Before he could finished his sentence his body was literally swallow by the earth, with only the head sticking out.
"Don't. Touch. My. Student" Master Bao said just behind me, since when he was there?
"You fucking old man! This was supposed to be an easy job! Just take the kid and go, but no you had to make this complicate didn't you!" The trapped criminal began to complaint.
I honestly was tired of this so I didn't what anyone else would have done; I walked up to him and kicked his head, knocking him out.
----------
After that, the fight was basically over, most of the Red Lotus, as Master Bao told me it was their name, were capture and only a few manage to escape.
Master Bao let me to his office and told me to explain everything that happened since I was first attacked.
"Such foolish and dangerous actions! You could have been hurt or worse!" He hasn't stop telling of how reckless my actions were since I finish my explanation.
"*sigh* But I'm glad that both you or Korra are safe," he finally finished.
"Yeah… Wait, Korra!?"
"Yes, this wasn't just an intent to kidnap you, this 'Red Lotus' had the Avatar on their sights too, luckily some Masters of the White Lotus manage to stop and capture the others kidnappers, with the help of Chief Tonraq and other allies."
…That these people tried to kidnap Korra make my angry, I knew that the Avatar was someone important, but for me she just was my friend, and these people were going to take her away… I couldn't allow that, I wouldn't allow that.
???: E
"Li? Are you alright?" Master Bao asked in a worried tone.
"Huh? Yea- yeah, what's going to happen now?"
"*sigh* For now just go to sleep, you can use my room if you want too, I have the feeling that I won't be using it tonight."
I just nodded and leave the office.
----------
Chose 4:
[] Keep doing waterbending katas
[] Train earthbending with Master Bao
[] Train moving in the shadows
[] Try to train your seismic sense
[] Train the Strong Fist on my own
[] Spend time with Master Bao
[] Spend time with Korra
[] Learning to meditate
[] Explore the headquarters
[] Visit the orphanage
[] Try to learn more about the world
----------
Stealth: E (Your ability to stay in the shadows and attack from there)
AN: if you know the show you should know what happens next.
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Ghostdevil
The Devil of Ghosts
- Location
- United States
I think you mean couldn't or could not and wouldn't or would not
You missed the "n't" at the end of could and would there.
- Location
- Just passing through.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Fixed, thanks, that's what happens when you finish a update before going to sleep
Oh I am slain!
Wynaut?
- Location
- Tatooine
...for some reason, I kept thinking that Master Bao was a waterbender before this update. Well, he came to the rescue just in time.
[x] Train earthbending with Master Bao
[x] Train the Strong Fist on my own
[x] Try to train your seismic sense
[x] Explore the headquarters
Time for a hundred laps around the headquarters! Meet some new people, and maybe familiarize himself with it better, in case of a future attack.
[x] Train earthbending with Master Bao
[x] Train the Strong Fist on my own
[x] Try to train your seismic sense
[x] Explore the headquarters
Time for a hundred laps around the headquarters! Meet some new people, and maybe familiarize himself with it better, in case of a future attack.
Hmm, interesting. Considering the time we got it
Are we getting some Determination? Or maybe Stubborness? Cause both happened when we were determined to not give up, that we would not allow a thing to happen.
[X] Train earthbending with Master Bao
[X] Try to train your seismic sense
[X] Spend time with Master Bao
[X] Spend time with Korra
We really should spend some time with our Master.
Come on guys, we need Korra time, to make absolutely certain that when she moves, we go with....for some reason, I kept thinking that Master Bao was a waterbender before this update. Well, he came to the rescue just in time.
[x] Train earthbending with Master Bao
[x] Train the Strong Fist on my own
[x] Try to train your seismic sense
[x] Explore the headquarters
Time for a hundred laps around the headquarters! Meet some new people, and maybe familiarize himself with it better, in case of a future attack.
- Location
- nz
[X] Train earthbending with Master Bao
[X] Try to train your seismic sense
[X] Train the Strong Fist on my own
[X] Spend time with Korra
[X] Try to train your seismic sense
[X] Train the Strong Fist on my own
[X] Spend time with Korra
You know, using D/C as average doesn't seem to work well with some of our traits. For example, this means we are firmly below your average adult in sneakiness. Same with Nice Guy, Big Brother Instinct, and Respect To Our Elders. Using C as your average fella, we are pretty mean, uncaring, and disrespectful.
- Location
- Just passing through.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Yeah I had think about it for a while, I think I'm going to divide some traits between two categories, Traits and Perks.
Edit: Ok, Perks will be advantages that Li has that can become better in one way or another, and Traits will be his core personality, they develop by taking ciertan actions many times or by connecting with his past life.
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