Spartakrod
Judeo-Spartacist Bolshevik-Kabbalist
- Location
- Sanctum Arcanorum
- Pronouns
- Fae/Faer/Faers/Faerself
The Firestorm: A crossover invasion game. Looking for a 40k faction player.
- Thread starter Spartakrod
- Start date
- OOC
- Location
- England
Bueno!
Now I don't have to worry so much about corruption or mental attacks. That's a load off my mind.
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
I had another idea to help balance my Traits: I can't use Research to improve my Production. I can build more infrastructure, but I've already got the best system possible.
- Location
- Wörms, the half continent
From what I remember, at least three GMs are waiting for either the almanac post /what the hell the soul reinforcement is.
HoratioVonBecker
Imperfectly Aligned
Got it. Going to go write that nowish.
- Location
- Wörms, the half continent
Tellos, you're on the map. Red dot, south east of Vorag, as promised.
- Location
- Wörms, the half continent
No, but I might make a key tomorrow.
You mean like making a legend for the map?
I can do that later today.
KnightofTempest
The Man who would be King
- Location
- Chicago
@samdamandias are you going to answer the PM I sent you back or no?
- Location
- Wörms, the half continent
Please do, I'll insert it into the map when your done.
I'll see what I can do; I make no assurances as far as quality goes.
Gears
I now make shiity tanks for C&C Generals.
So. I promised i'd give you a full report on what happened at the diplomacy meeting you had. Here goes. I'm holding nothing back.
Let's start with just what happened.
A hodgepodge of nations of loosely divided people is betrayed and attacked by a former member now turned vampire. He's mustered what must be the heaviest army of undead in the neighbourhood due to years of diligently robbing graves ( i like to imagine he does it as a night pastime), and he's now here to conquer all yadiyadiya. The usual.
So, you arrive, plomp down with your whatevers in your so and so, and he sees you as a possible enemy because he liked the previous neighbours better, so he sends some of his chaff off to handle you. You beat the chaff, as you probably would in your opening fight. Rejoicing galore, you won, yay, cheers, yippie-a-yay.
Still leaves the big fucking army on their big fucking rampage. So you get invited to the talks about the local vampire problem. A diplomatic meeting obviously. It's heavily implied that these people argue a lot amongst each other, and generally prefer to be left alone by each other. This probably means this is a rather forced meeting in the face of the big threat. So now is your turn to show up.
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The Intermarium sends Foreign Minister Wladyslaw Anders and an appropriate Bodyguard to the Negotatiations. The Foreign Minister is a large man, a former Colonel of Special Operations during the War, he has taken the Janekium-Derived Super Soldier Serum in the past and it shows in his impressive physique. He is wearing his old Colonel's uniform festooned with medals, as is his wont, and he carries an Electro-Ray Pistol in a hip holster, and a Tunguskite Sabre opposite the pistol holster. Under his uniform he wears a thin kevlar and tunguskite mesh weave to help blunt any assassination attempts.
His Bodyguards are all wearing the Tunguskite and Kevlar Body Armor of an Honor Guard and all carry rail rilfes in perfect parade formation. They are the very picture of modern professionalism. Many of these men were hand picked from the various services and given a Janekium-Derived Gene Therapy Serum to make them stronger, faster, and more intelligent than a normal human being. These men are the best of the best and it shows in their lockstep march around the Foreign Minister, their Rail Rifles at Shoulder Arms in perfect parade formation, but ready to snap into action at a moments notice.
Foreign Minister Anders marches into the Empress' Hall where the negotiations are taking place and says. "Greetings on behalf of the Intermarium Federation. I am the Federation's Foreign Minister, Wladyslaw Anders. Six months ago, my Nation was displaced in time and immediately attacked by a horde of 3 million of the Living Dead, not just shambling revenants, but also sorcerers, vampires, rotting animated leviathans, and even crude approximations of armored forces and air power. Fortuitously, my people are very good at war and possess technology and doctrine that seems unfamiliar to this Visori. . .We were capable of utterly destroying that army and suffered very light losses in the process. Since then, we have increased our forces by 15 percent after replacing our losses, gathered intelligence, devised ways of nullifying the magics of these sorcerers, and fortified our territory so well that High Command has doubts that even an equivalent force in size and composition to our own could crack our perimeter without bleeding themselves dry. At this conference, we hope to gather allies for a counterattack. To sweeten the pot, I am authorized to offer trade deals with any party that will join us in a counterattack. Naturally some things are off the table at the start, we would not feel comfortable giving away cutting edge military technology for example, but I am authorized to negotiate on my own initiative if I judge the situation calls for it."
The Foreign Minister Pauses for a moment then continues. "Make no mistake, the Intermarium WILL be counterattacking regardless of the outcome of this conference. Whether anyone but we reaps the benefits of this is up to you all. That is our position. Thank You."
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Well, bring in the army why don't you. I'll ignore the fact that you suddenly chose the place of the meeting instead of me, whereas i'm the GM, but err, whatevs. More important is that you just..... Marched a full-on battalion right into a diplomatic meeting?
What the fuck?
You just trudge in there, with rifles and all, start talking about how you vanquished your foe and proved your superiority over the undead while all these poor people are just staring at you. Gobsmacked. Mouth open in fear and confusion.
Why the hell did this guy bring a full battalion into a diplomatic meeting? Is he going to shoot us? What are they fucking there for?
By now, half of the meeting has decided you probably want to take power for yourself, one quarter wondering why the guards let your battalion trough, the other quarter is wondering if you just lack etiquette, and all of them are heavily afraid of you.
Kind of logical when your first meeting with strangers involves copious amounts of gun in a diplomatic meeting place.
None of them probably even heard what you said. They're still staring at the soldiers in the middle of the room.
So then, poor, ragged, bags-under-her-eyes-living-on-caffeine empress decides to drop you a hint.
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There is a stunned silence at the table as all manner of creatures look at your troops. The Empress, seated in the middle with bags under her eyes and still pointing at a map, leans back in her chair and puts her hand on her forehead.
"Why do people have to make this so hard?
Please, send your troops away, walk out of this tent, take a drink, and come back to tell the story again in, let's say... half a hour? Without the armed guard?"
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"Surely you would not begrudge a visiting dignitary an honor guard? I find it odd that you have so little security here what with the insidious nature of the threat we all face. Why any number of sorcerers tricks could disguise an assassin, intelligence we have obtained also points towards vampiric infiltrators used by the enemy. I must insist on some form of visible security."
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What makes you think in heaven's name that there is no security? Just that the hall isn't filled to the brim with armed guards? What diplomat would allow honor guards into a meeting full of people who on any other day would either squabble or be at war with each other? That just borders on idiocy.
So yes. Obviously none of them has their guards or honor guards inside the diplomacy room.
Except for you that is. And you've been asked, rather kindly, to remove them. Yet you refused. And managed to insult them on top of that by implying they would be unaware of such simple fact such as a sorcerers ability to magically disguise. Or that Visori uses spies just like any other one of them. Way to go stating the bleeding obvious.
So yeah. Even less brownie points.
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The empress sighs audibly.
"Please just comply with my request. Look around you. No one is carrying a weapon except you. We all know that the enemy can do magic thankyouvermuch. It's not like we haven't been at war recently. Everyone in this tent is accounted for, and your troops are just making everyone nervous. Please, just, remove them from the tent ifyouwouldohsokindly."
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Take it. It's good for you.
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"I will send my honor guard away as a gesture of good faith but I shall not disarm myself. Intelligence have advised that I be extremely wary of assassination in this meeting of unknowns. With the War going on as well my Security service simply would not allow me to participate without protection."
Anders signals his four guards to leave the room. They linger for only a moment before complying.
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... Allow me to translate that...
"I think i'm more important then you, so i refuse to disarm myself. I trust none of you even though you let me in on this meeting of your plans where you explain your capabilities and all you can contribute to the cause of defeating the vampire overlord. Furthermore my security service will put guns anywhere we are."
And lets not forget you're saying this to the Empress who is the most important person these people has, and is currently the sole target of this Vampire king who wants to turn her into his eternal slave. And yet the room she sits in, the most protected room in the entire empire, is somehow "unsafe" for you. That's just insulting the locals that is.
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"Tell your intelligence squad to be less paranoid. Now please take a seat next to Durdungar." The empress points to a empty seat next to a huge iron elemental, who shimmies up to the side to allow your diplomat his seat.
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The empress drops another big fat hint, and puts you next to the biggest block of armor in the room so you won't shoot someone. She's wise. Very wise for someone who lives on a 24/7 coffee infusion that is.
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The foreign minister sits in the indicated seat
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The first line in the entire conversation that does not either belittle the locals or threaten the locals! Finally we're doing diplomacy!
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"Right. For our convenience, reiterate where we are at for our newcomer ser Illyan."
A dwarf steps up on the table and starts walking around the map.
"As we all know by now, Visori intends to run his army past Veston, Pariska and Ariatros towards Laakgaram while staging suprise attacks from both Visundrias and Visurd using his underground network. His cronies have been forcefed a tale of relocation to Kyram's capital, which might cause him to defect a portion of his forces to trample past Jyliari in vain. However, the great bulk of his army is simply too vast to face with out current collection. We cannot engage them head-on, and we'll never survive a siege. What we currently have can deal with the suprise attacks, and we can count on the lands to stay relatively intact if Visori is more intent on a swift conquest. He'll probably breach their defenses and leave behind a garrison to keep them in his grasp. The bulk of his forces will head straight to Laakgara."
"Thank you. Now. What were we talking about again before all of this?"
"Forgive me, for i cannot remember? Ghrsk? you had objections to the current plan?"
"I do, i demand a guard for Pariska's capital! The Sacred shines in the city CANNOT fall in the hands of this creep!"
And so, while the elemental next to you mutters, "ohboy, here we go.", the arguing continues.
"But I also have Holy sites!" "I cannot let my country's industrial base remain undefended! What if Visori grabs all that coal?" "My holy sites are holier!" "I have more then a thousand cemeteries around Instradd alone! What will become of them?" "My holy sites are the holiest!" "How will we keep the Laakgaran navy intact?"
However, some of the diplomats occasionally try to look past the elemental to catch your eye. After some more shouting, the Empress decides you've probably heard enough of the respective demands from the various diplomats, and politely asks you if you have any input with the words:
"Enough. I faintly remember our newest addition mentioning his very own coup de théâtre. Would you care to re-inform us of your plans?"
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All-beloved Empress throws sand over your mistakes and invites you to join the talks regardless of your barbarism. Meanwhile the locals argue some more, illustrating that maybe no guns is the correct policy in these kinds of debates. Meanwhile exposition is granted as Visori's plan are revealed. Good to note is that the locals do not believe in a head-on engagement. Sure, they haven't included you in the arrangement, but more on that soon.
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"We recently defeated an army of three million undead troops. They had crude approximations of Airpower and Armored forces with them, as well as Giant Bats and Undead Leviathans. They were commanded by a mixed group of sorcerers and vampires. We managed to destroy their airpower and armored forces in short order, hit their command group with our special forces and mop up the rest. We are planning a counterattack based on intelligence that we have gathered.
We Currently Have Our forces situated in our own territory, which is to the Northeast of Margadigrad and North of Laakgara. We had planned to use our counterattack to hit the enemy in the flank as he heads towards the capitol. We currently have some 560,000 Troops, 24,000 Tanks, Assault Guns, and Other Armored vehicles, and 4,000 Aircraft Dedicated to this Counterattack including 2 Aerial Battleships.
However since we have defeated the attack aimed at us, we find ourselves in a position to be more than generous with our current troops. As such we can dedicate a small amount of troops to garrison duty in other cities in order to help defend your holy sites if we absolutely have to."
The Foreign Minister Pauses before going on, "We have noticed the way that this Visori wages war to be extremely inefficient when compared to an army with modern doctrine. The Bulk of the forces he threw against us were almost mindless, they seemed to favor single shot rifles and packed formations. Our Machine Guns and Railguns tore them apart and our armored forces and aircraft were at least a generation ahead of theirs. It serves at a very potent force multiplier."
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...
Are you quite done masturbating yet, dear foreign minister?
...
No? Carry on then, but i'll carry on too.
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Some of the councilmen look at each other worriedly.
"Your basic idea of a plan is to attack the side of their army? That won't work at all."
"They may be mindless, but the fact that they are a big horde makes a flanking maneuver impossible. It doesn't matter where you hit, it's still the same crowd of zombies."
"Not to mention that was just the reserve force. That's just what he looted of his capitol's graveyards alone."
"We cannot divert Visori before he gets past the first few nations, otherwise he'll route them to replenish his supplies and numbers. The death toll would be enormous."
"Visori might be foolhardy, but he learns from his mistakes. He's bound to have your capacities in his scope now. You won't find him quite as forgiving next time."
"All agreed then?" "All agreed."
The military diplomats, suddenly in complete unison, turn towards you and tell you bluntly: "You need a better plan."
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So here the councilman point to the problem that's pretty much obvious: Visori isn't an idiot, and has about 100 times the troops you got. And a battleplan. Your move.
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"Well, there are a few things we can do to hit his Horde now before it can even get to grips with us. Ballistic Missiles, Railgun strikes at extreme range, that sort of thing. It should cut down his numbers some before an actual engagement."
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While the military tactic of "shoot from higher range" is sound sense, I note you somehow don't see that this is also obvious tactic #1. What makes you think the locals didn't try this already?
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"Taken into consideration by Visori. We tried that approach with a couple of elven archers and gryoplanes. Neither approach worked. The horde is too big to cut down to size using attrition. Not to mention they can recycle their dead."
"We needed to find some way to separate the horde of zombies from their support, and we think we found a way."
"Zombies can walk underwater, and magicians too after some spells, but the majority of Visori's air force cannot go underwater. If we can bust the air force while the horde of zombies is transiting the seabed, we can then simply throw copious amounts of depth charges at the horde.
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The locals point out that the strategy is bleeding obvious and that Visori knows of it. To throw you a boon, they reveal their very own plan. Since, you know, people usually make a plan to deal with crisises. However bad or leaky that plan might be.
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We had few problems taking down the Aerial Forces attached to the Invasion Force. We could do the same here. On a Side note, I propose a strike against their command group by commandos and other elite forces. This might Force them to split their focus between fighting off raids and attacks, and controlling their horde. Our Commandos were capable of doing this with much success during the invasion of our territory, and now that we have found a way to disrupt magic via runes, it could be even more successful."
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You see common sense in the reality of facing giant bats. Giant bats are no fun. The locals spot a glimpse of hope in the vast sea of incompetence that is the foreign minister.
Then you propose what seems like a suicide mission to the locals. Dropping, or somehow fighting a squad of soldiers right into the middle of the biggest zombie horde this side of the empire.
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"At what moment do you suppose to do this? They won't be susceptible to raids at any time during their march."
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They hope in their hearts that you somehow found a moment in time where all the necromancers have to take a leak and are too shy to let their zombie thralls see it.
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"So they are underwater? As in right this second? If so then why are we even having this conversation?"
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Hope gone. Clearly this man is just hopelessly confused. What made this poor man think the zombies are already in the water around Laakgara when Visori has yet to run his army past Veston? I'm no map expert but Veston isn't underwater. Nor is the nation Visori intends to run past after that. Or after that.
Clearly he forgot all the council members told him just a few minutes ago.
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The military advisers share another pained look.
"No, they're not. But if you want to fight your way trough the entire army, go ahead."
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They point out their worries.
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"You misunderstand. We do not need to fight our way through their horde to get to their command group. Our Aerial Battleships are capable of reaching orbit as well as carrying transports. We simply send a few of those up with commandos, land said commandos in the rear near the command group and watch the havoc unfold."
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A good point, but still leaves the same problem. Dropping a squad of soldiers in the middle of the biggest horde of zombies over here. Also, a horde of zombies has no rear. Sometimes literally. Just saying.
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"That... Might work? It all depends on how well your soldiers can withstand a thousand undead warriors, dragons, and assorted."
"I, for one, would certainly not sign up for this."
"Pass."
"Let the experts handle it i say,"
"What's wi' dis orbital blather? ye aware av de dangers oyt there?"
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The locals point out they wouldn't want to be in those drop-ships, and throw in some local superstition about space for good measure.
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"Well then it appears you obviously have this well in hand and we are not needed here. I bid you good luck on your offensive." Sighs the Foreign Minister as he gets up from the table.
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Holy shit did your diplomat just walk away? Do you even know how impossibly childish that is for a diplomat? To walk away from a meeting like some form of exasperated child? Did you not get your required amount of candy or something?
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The entire entourage looks rather confused, but let you go out at your request.
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Anyone would be confused when a so-called foreign minister acts like a spoiled child.
The locals at this point have no clue what you're up to, and largely think of you as a thuggish barbarian, judging by how you stormed into the middle of a diplomatic meeting with a squad of stormtroopers, proceeded to talk shit about them and their very dangerous enemy, and then proposed multiple ideas ranging from the bleeding obvious to the bleeding brainless. And then, just as quickly as you went in, you zoom out.
What a diplomatic disaster.
Now let's talk about some misconceptions you seemed to have while going into this.
I officially replied with "push enough buttons and anyone is assertive", which by the way is still true, but on top of that, nowhere does Mental even imply that these locals are brainless servants waiting for your beck and call. These are people. They think. They live. The brainless on this planet are usually reanimated. The post only states this:
Which means that the only reason you could potentialy lead these people is because they're divided amongst themselves. And you had a shot at that, id you hadn't asserted yourself so foolishly. But I don't know where you got the notion from that these people would instantly see you as their glorious golden leader. Logically, the fact that the Empress was the leader of the meeting should tell you she had the highest chances at being the leader, but somehow wasn't enough of a binding factor. Since you were devoid of any prior history, you would've been a safe bet as the go-to guy in charge of leading the battle. If you had had a ounce of diplomacy that is.
No, you never truly read Mental's post. As indicated before, Visori basically threw the first ragtag force he could find near him at you. Of course the army was disorganized and rushed headlong to their doom. They didn't know who you were, what you could do, and were scrambled from their breeches in a emergency. What makes you think Visori doesn't know how to lead a army? THE MAN MANAGED TO RAISE A HORDE OF ZOMBIES RIGHT UNDER THE NOSES OF HIS COMRADES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Clearly he has at least a rudimentary grasp of deceit and logistics.
Why do you keep believing everyone else around you to be a brainless moron? The locals. Visori. The zombies. Well, okay, those are actually brainless, but that's only when the necromancer has no good idea what to do.
Go argue about this with @go12345 , who advises me on military matters since he's better at it then me. But yeah, go ahead and directly attack the big zombie hoard. It doesn't really matter to me (or Visori) if you attack it in one spot or a thousand. It just saves him walking towards you.
Futhermore. In your diplomatic talk and OOC, I noticed a certain trend. You keep talking about proposals, and how none of your proposals got accepted by the NPC's.
The NPC's aren't required to accept your proposals. That isn't how agreements work. It's not like you deliver a plan and the NPC's can either agree with it or not. You're supposed to ask questions, inform yourself of the other side's intentions and wills, and then compromise between them. The locals had a loose plan, but instead of asking why they opted for this plan, or how it was supposed to be effective, you opted for proposing more of your own plans, which simply had the effect of making you look like a uninformed and unwilling participant in the debate. The locals actually critiqued your plans, even if mostly in a negative fashion.
So there. That's all. I think.
A hodgepodge of nations of loosely divided people is betrayed and attacked by a former member now turned vampire. He's mustered what must be the heaviest army of undead in the neighbourhood due to years of diligently robbing graves ( i like to imagine he does it as a night pastime), and he's now here to conquer all yadiyadiya. The usual.
So, you arrive, plomp down with your whatevers in your so and so, and he sees you as a possible enemy because he liked the previous neighbours better, so he sends some of his chaff off to handle you. You beat the chaff, as you probably would in your opening fight. Rejoicing galore, you won, yay, cheers, yippie-a-yay.
Still leaves the big fucking army on their big fucking rampage. So you get invited to the talks about the local vampire problem. A diplomatic meeting obviously. It's heavily implied that these people argue a lot amongst each other, and generally prefer to be left alone by each other. This probably means this is a rather forced meeting in the face of the big threat. So now is your turn to show up.
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The Intermarium sends Foreign Minister Wladyslaw Anders and an appropriate Bodyguard to the Negotatiations. The Foreign Minister is a large man, a former Colonel of Special Operations during the War, he has taken the Janekium-Derived Super Soldier Serum in the past and it shows in his impressive physique. He is wearing his old Colonel's uniform festooned with medals, as is his wont, and he carries an Electro-Ray Pistol in a hip holster, and a Tunguskite Sabre opposite the pistol holster. Under his uniform he wears a thin kevlar and tunguskite mesh weave to help blunt any assassination attempts.
His Bodyguards are all wearing the Tunguskite and Kevlar Body Armor of an Honor Guard and all carry rail rilfes in perfect parade formation. They are the very picture of modern professionalism. Many of these men were hand picked from the various services and given a Janekium-Derived Gene Therapy Serum to make them stronger, faster, and more intelligent than a normal human being. These men are the best of the best and it shows in their lockstep march around the Foreign Minister, their Rail Rifles at Shoulder Arms in perfect parade formation, but ready to snap into action at a moments notice.
Foreign Minister Anders marches into the Empress' Hall where the negotiations are taking place and says. "Greetings on behalf of the Intermarium Federation. I am the Federation's Foreign Minister, Wladyslaw Anders. Six months ago, my Nation was displaced in time and immediately attacked by a horde of 3 million of the Living Dead, not just shambling revenants, but also sorcerers, vampires, rotting animated leviathans, and even crude approximations of armored forces and air power. Fortuitously, my people are very good at war and possess technology and doctrine that seems unfamiliar to this Visori. . .We were capable of utterly destroying that army and suffered very light losses in the process. Since then, we have increased our forces by 15 percent after replacing our losses, gathered intelligence, devised ways of nullifying the magics of these sorcerers, and fortified our territory so well that High Command has doubts that even an equivalent force in size and composition to our own could crack our perimeter without bleeding themselves dry. At this conference, we hope to gather allies for a counterattack. To sweeten the pot, I am authorized to offer trade deals with any party that will join us in a counterattack. Naturally some things are off the table at the start, we would not feel comfortable giving away cutting edge military technology for example, but I am authorized to negotiate on my own initiative if I judge the situation calls for it."
The Foreign Minister Pauses for a moment then continues. "Make no mistake, the Intermarium WILL be counterattacking regardless of the outcome of this conference. Whether anyone but we reaps the benefits of this is up to you all. That is our position. Thank You."
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What the fuck?
You just trudge in there, with rifles and all, start talking about how you vanquished your foe and proved your superiority over the undead while all these poor people are just staring at you. Gobsmacked. Mouth open in fear and confusion.
Why the hell did this guy bring a full battalion into a diplomatic meeting? Is he going to shoot us? What are they fucking there for?
By now, half of the meeting has decided you probably want to take power for yourself, one quarter wondering why the guards let your battalion trough, the other quarter is wondering if you just lack etiquette, and all of them are heavily afraid of you.
Kind of logical when your first meeting with strangers involves copious amounts of gun in a diplomatic meeting place.
None of them probably even heard what you said. They're still staring at the soldiers in the middle of the room.
So then, poor, ragged, bags-under-her-eyes-living-on-caffeine empress decides to drop you a hint.
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There is a stunned silence at the table as all manner of creatures look at your troops. The Empress, seated in the middle with bags under her eyes and still pointing at a map, leans back in her chair and puts her hand on her forehead.
"Why do people have to make this so hard?
Please, send your troops away, walk out of this tent, take a drink, and come back to tell the story again in, let's say... half a hour? Without the armed guard?"
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"Surely you would not begrudge a visiting dignitary an honor guard? I find it odd that you have so little security here what with the insidious nature of the threat we all face. Why any number of sorcerers tricks could disguise an assassin, intelligence we have obtained also points towards vampiric infiltrators used by the enemy. I must insist on some form of visible security."
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What makes you think in heaven's name that there is no security? Just that the hall isn't filled to the brim with armed guards? What diplomat would allow honor guards into a meeting full of people who on any other day would either squabble or be at war with each other? That just borders on idiocy.
So yes. Obviously none of them has their guards or honor guards inside the diplomacy room.
Except for you that is. And you've been asked, rather kindly, to remove them. Yet you refused. And managed to insult them on top of that by implying they would be unaware of such simple fact such as a sorcerers ability to magically disguise. Or that Visori uses spies just like any other one of them. Way to go stating the bleeding obvious.
So yeah. Even less brownie points.
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The empress sighs audibly.
"Please just comply with my request. Look around you. No one is carrying a weapon except you. We all know that the enemy can do magic thankyouvermuch. It's not like we haven't been at war recently. Everyone in this tent is accounted for, and your troops are just making everyone nervous. Please, just, remove them from the tent ifyouwouldohsokindly."
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Take it. It's good for you.
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"I will send my honor guard away as a gesture of good faith but I shall not disarm myself. Intelligence have advised that I be extremely wary of assassination in this meeting of unknowns. With the War going on as well my Security service simply would not allow me to participate without protection."
Anders signals his four guards to leave the room. They linger for only a moment before complying.
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... Allow me to translate that...
"I think i'm more important then you, so i refuse to disarm myself. I trust none of you even though you let me in on this meeting of your plans where you explain your capabilities and all you can contribute to the cause of defeating the vampire overlord. Furthermore my security service will put guns anywhere we are."
And lets not forget you're saying this to the Empress who is the most important person these people has, and is currently the sole target of this Vampire king who wants to turn her into his eternal slave. And yet the room she sits in, the most protected room in the entire empire, is somehow "unsafe" for you. That's just insulting the locals that is.
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"Tell your intelligence squad to be less paranoid. Now please take a seat next to Durdungar." The empress points to a empty seat next to a huge iron elemental, who shimmies up to the side to allow your diplomat his seat.
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The empress drops another big fat hint, and puts you next to the biggest block of armor in the room so you won't shoot someone. She's wise. Very wise for someone who lives on a 24/7 coffee infusion that is.
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The foreign minister sits in the indicated seat
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The first line in the entire conversation that does not either belittle the locals or threaten the locals! Finally we're doing diplomacy!
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"Right. For our convenience, reiterate where we are at for our newcomer ser Illyan."
A dwarf steps up on the table and starts walking around the map.
"As we all know by now, Visori intends to run his army past Veston, Pariska and Ariatros towards Laakgaram while staging suprise attacks from both Visundrias and Visurd using his underground network. His cronies have been forcefed a tale of relocation to Kyram's capital, which might cause him to defect a portion of his forces to trample past Jyliari in vain. However, the great bulk of his army is simply too vast to face with out current collection. We cannot engage them head-on, and we'll never survive a siege. What we currently have can deal with the suprise attacks, and we can count on the lands to stay relatively intact if Visori is more intent on a swift conquest. He'll probably breach their defenses and leave behind a garrison to keep them in his grasp. The bulk of his forces will head straight to Laakgara."
"Thank you. Now. What were we talking about again before all of this?"
"Forgive me, for i cannot remember? Ghrsk? you had objections to the current plan?"
"I do, i demand a guard for Pariska's capital! The Sacred shines in the city CANNOT fall in the hands of this creep!"
And so, while the elemental next to you mutters, "ohboy, here we go.", the arguing continues.
"But I also have Holy sites!" "I cannot let my country's industrial base remain undefended! What if Visori grabs all that coal?" "My holy sites are holier!" "I have more then a thousand cemeteries around Instradd alone! What will become of them?" "My holy sites are the holiest!" "How will we keep the Laakgaran navy intact?"
However, some of the diplomats occasionally try to look past the elemental to catch your eye. After some more shouting, the Empress decides you've probably heard enough of the respective demands from the various diplomats, and politely asks you if you have any input with the words:
"Enough. I faintly remember our newest addition mentioning his very own coup de théâtre. Would you care to re-inform us of your plans?"
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All-beloved Empress throws sand over your mistakes and invites you to join the talks regardless of your barbarism. Meanwhile the locals argue some more, illustrating that maybe no guns is the correct policy in these kinds of debates. Meanwhile exposition is granted as Visori's plan are revealed. Good to note is that the locals do not believe in a head-on engagement. Sure, they haven't included you in the arrangement, but more on that soon.
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"We recently defeated an army of three million undead troops. They had crude approximations of Airpower and Armored forces with them, as well as Giant Bats and Undead Leviathans. They were commanded by a mixed group of sorcerers and vampires. We managed to destroy their airpower and armored forces in short order, hit their command group with our special forces and mop up the rest. We are planning a counterattack based on intelligence that we have gathered.
We Currently Have Our forces situated in our own territory, which is to the Northeast of Margadigrad and North of Laakgara. We had planned to use our counterattack to hit the enemy in the flank as he heads towards the capitol. We currently have some 560,000 Troops, 24,000 Tanks, Assault Guns, and Other Armored vehicles, and 4,000 Aircraft Dedicated to this Counterattack including 2 Aerial Battleships.
However since we have defeated the attack aimed at us, we find ourselves in a position to be more than generous with our current troops. As such we can dedicate a small amount of troops to garrison duty in other cities in order to help defend your holy sites if we absolutely have to."
The Foreign Minister Pauses before going on, "We have noticed the way that this Visori wages war to be extremely inefficient when compared to an army with modern doctrine. The Bulk of the forces he threw against us were almost mindless, they seemed to favor single shot rifles and packed formations. Our Machine Guns and Railguns tore them apart and our armored forces and aircraft were at least a generation ahead of theirs. It serves at a very potent force multiplier."
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...
Are you quite done masturbating yet, dear foreign minister?
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No? Carry on then, but i'll carry on too.
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Some of the councilmen look at each other worriedly.
"Your basic idea of a plan is to attack the side of their army? That won't work at all."
"They may be mindless, but the fact that they are a big horde makes a flanking maneuver impossible. It doesn't matter where you hit, it's still the same crowd of zombies."
"Not to mention that was just the reserve force. That's just what he looted of his capitol's graveyards alone."
"We cannot divert Visori before he gets past the first few nations, otherwise he'll route them to replenish his supplies and numbers. The death toll would be enormous."
"Visori might be foolhardy, but he learns from his mistakes. He's bound to have your capacities in his scope now. You won't find him quite as forgiving next time."
"All agreed then?" "All agreed."
The military diplomats, suddenly in complete unison, turn towards you and tell you bluntly: "You need a better plan."
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So here the councilman point to the problem that's pretty much obvious: Visori isn't an idiot, and has about 100 times the troops you got. And a battleplan. Your move.
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"Well, there are a few things we can do to hit his Horde now before it can even get to grips with us. Ballistic Missiles, Railgun strikes at extreme range, that sort of thing. It should cut down his numbers some before an actual engagement."
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While the military tactic of "shoot from higher range" is sound sense, I note you somehow don't see that this is also obvious tactic #1. What makes you think the locals didn't try this already?
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"Taken into consideration by Visori. We tried that approach with a couple of elven archers and gryoplanes. Neither approach worked. The horde is too big to cut down to size using attrition. Not to mention they can recycle their dead."
"We needed to find some way to separate the horde of zombies from their support, and we think we found a way."
"Zombies can walk underwater, and magicians too after some spells, but the majority of Visori's air force cannot go underwater. If we can bust the air force while the horde of zombies is transiting the seabed, we can then simply throw copious amounts of depth charges at the horde.
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The locals point out that the strategy is bleeding obvious and that Visori knows of it. To throw you a boon, they reveal their very own plan. Since, you know, people usually make a plan to deal with crisises. However bad or leaky that plan might be.
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We had few problems taking down the Aerial Forces attached to the Invasion Force. We could do the same here. On a Side note, I propose a strike against their command group by commandos and other elite forces. This might Force them to split their focus between fighting off raids and attacks, and controlling their horde. Our Commandos were capable of doing this with much success during the invasion of our territory, and now that we have found a way to disrupt magic via runes, it could be even more successful."
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You see common sense in the reality of facing giant bats. Giant bats are no fun. The locals spot a glimpse of hope in the vast sea of incompetence that is the foreign minister.
Then you propose what seems like a suicide mission to the locals. Dropping, or somehow fighting a squad of soldiers right into the middle of the biggest zombie horde this side of the empire.
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"At what moment do you suppose to do this? They won't be susceptible to raids at any time during their march."
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They hope in their hearts that you somehow found a moment in time where all the necromancers have to take a leak and are too shy to let their zombie thralls see it.
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"So they are underwater? As in right this second? If so then why are we even having this conversation?"
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Hope gone. Clearly this man is just hopelessly confused. What made this poor man think the zombies are already in the water around Laakgara when Visori has yet to run his army past Veston? I'm no map expert but Veston isn't underwater. Nor is the nation Visori intends to run past after that. Or after that.
Clearly he forgot all the council members told him just a few minutes ago.
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The military advisers share another pained look.
"No, they're not. But if you want to fight your way trough the entire army, go ahead."
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They point out their worries.
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"You misunderstand. We do not need to fight our way through their horde to get to their command group. Our Aerial Battleships are capable of reaching orbit as well as carrying transports. We simply send a few of those up with commandos, land said commandos in the rear near the command group and watch the havoc unfold."
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A good point, but still leaves the same problem. Dropping a squad of soldiers in the middle of the biggest horde of zombies over here. Also, a horde of zombies has no rear. Sometimes literally. Just saying.
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"That... Might work? It all depends on how well your soldiers can withstand a thousand undead warriors, dragons, and assorted."
"I, for one, would certainly not sign up for this."
"Pass."
"Let the experts handle it i say,"
"What's wi' dis orbital blather? ye aware av de dangers oyt there?"
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The locals point out they wouldn't want to be in those drop-ships, and throw in some local superstition about space for good measure.
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"Well then it appears you obviously have this well in hand and we are not needed here. I bid you good luck on your offensive." Sighs the Foreign Minister as he gets up from the table.
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The entire entourage looks rather confused, but let you go out at your request.
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Anyone would be confused when a so-called foreign minister acts like a spoiled child.
The locals at this point have no clue what you're up to, and largely think of you as a thuggish barbarian, judging by how you stormed into the middle of a diplomatic meeting with a squad of stormtroopers, proceeded to talk shit about them and their very dangerous enemy, and then proposed multiple ideas ranging from the bleeding obvious to the bleeding brainless. And then, just as quickly as you went in, you zoom out.
What a diplomatic disaster.
Now let's talk about some misconceptions you seemed to have while going into this.
I officially replied with "push enough buttons and anyone is assertive", which by the way is still true, but on top of that, nowhere does Mental even imply that these locals are brainless servants waiting for your beck and call. These are people. They think. They live. The brainless on this planet are usually reanimated. The post only states this:
Which means that the only reason you could potentialy lead these people is because they're divided amongst themselves. And you had a shot at that, id you hadn't asserted yourself so foolishly. But I don't know where you got the notion from that these people would instantly see you as their glorious golden leader. Logically, the fact that the Empress was the leader of the meeting should tell you she had the highest chances at being the leader, but somehow wasn't enough of a binding factor. Since you were devoid of any prior history, you would've been a safe bet as the go-to guy in charge of leading the battle. If you had had a ounce of diplomacy that is.
No, you never truly read Mental's post. As indicated before, Visori basically threw the first ragtag force he could find near him at you. Of course the army was disorganized and rushed headlong to their doom. They didn't know who you were, what you could do, and were scrambled from their breeches in a emergency. What makes you think Visori doesn't know how to lead a army? THE MAN MANAGED TO RAISE A HORDE OF ZOMBIES RIGHT UNDER THE NOSES OF HIS COMRADES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Clearly he has at least a rudimentary grasp of deceit and logistics.
Why do you keep believing everyone else around you to be a brainless moron? The locals. Visori. The zombies. Well, okay, those are actually brainless, but that's only when the necromancer has no good idea what to do.
Go argue about this with @go12345 , who advises me on military matters since he's better at it then me. But yeah, go ahead and directly attack the big zombie hoard. It doesn't really matter to me (or Visori) if you attack it in one spot or a thousand. It just saves him walking towards you.
Futhermore. In your diplomatic talk and OOC, I noticed a certain trend. You keep talking about proposals, and how none of your proposals got accepted by the NPC's.
The NPC's aren't required to accept your proposals. That isn't how agreements work. It's not like you deliver a plan and the NPC's can either agree with it or not. You're supposed to ask questions, inform yourself of the other side's intentions and wills, and then compromise between them. The locals had a loose plan, but instead of asking why they opted for this plan, or how it was supposed to be effective, you opted for proposing more of your own plans, which simply had the effect of making you look like a uninformed and unwilling participant in the debate. The locals actually critiqued your plans, even if mostly in a negative fashion.
So there. That's all. I think.
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KnightofTempest
The Man who would be King
- Location
- Chicago
I had 4 guards not a battallion. Sorry that you thought I did so, but I didn't. . .
KnightofTempest
The Man who would be King
- Location
- Chicago
When you make a mistake of course I'm going to argue it.
Furthermore, these people don't need me since I'm obviously such a moron that I can't do anything right. I'll let them deal with it and then sweep up the pieces afterwards.
Sinsystems
Patron Librarian
@Chimeraguard might I ask for some extra info on the Kobolds specifically how their defenses are set up such as their wards and power of their magical cabals? I ask because it will have an effect on some aspects of my next turn.
Spartakrod
Judeo-Spartacist Bolshevik-Kabbalist
- Location
- Sanctum Arcanorum
- Pronouns
- Fae/Faer/Faers/Faerself
Are you asking for metagaming knowledge?
Sinsystems
Patron Librarian
No just more detailed info of what my faction has gained from our intelligence gathering efforts and infiltration. For example I'd like a rough idea of their fortifications so that I can decide if a surgical strike on their factories is a viable option.
Chimeraguard
We do deserve to exist.
It's not. Aside from defenses like Dimensional Anchors keeping teleportation away(among other things), they're too dispersed across the whole nation(both on the surface, and in the Underdark.)
Sinsystems
Patron Librarian
And i'm assuming that they need their civilian population to run their industrial base correct?
Chimeraguard
We do deserve to exist.
Yes. They're still a faction of people while the Legion is a faction of monsters.
But they do breed fast, and the population is also widespread and behind well fortified cities. They're not an easy target.
Sinsystems
Patron Librarian
Which is why i'm asking these sorts of question, also do those defenses protect against intrusions into the people's dreams?
Chimeraguard
We do deserve to exist.
Yep. With the Empyreal Tyrant being (formerly) their neighbor, they made sure to have a bunch of defenses against various kinds of mental intrusion, plus the Kobolds themselves are good sorcerers. They're the major power in the general region.
The Canceri would be less protected though.
Sinsystems
Patron Librarian
Okay I think I have a plan now good thing I asked or otherwise I would have wasted Xavius this turn.