EDIT: Serously. The only ones who take tea more seriously then the British are from China and Japan.
I wouldn't say the Chinese and Japanese take tea more seriously so much as they take it seriously in a different direction; for the Chinese and Japanese, tea is a vitally important 'ritual item' so to speak. For the British, tea is literally a reason to go to war.

Nothing gets the British to declare war faster than throwing their tea into the harbor. :V
 
I wouldn't say the Chinese and Japanese take tea more seriously so much as they take it seriously in a different direction; for the Chinese and Japanese, tea is a vitally important 'ritual item' so to speak. For the British, tea is literally a reason to go to war.

Nothing gets the British to declare war faster than throwing their tea into the harbor. :V
Our Tea...I'm British and I love tea, cant drink coffee because its too bitter for me and requires so much chocolate to actually allow me to drink it, but that might be my stomach rebelling when I drink coffee.
 
Hell during WWII the British Government considered tea to be a vital household necessity right next to milk, bread, and eggs and was included on the ration cards.
 
As I said, the British take tea seriously. I myself prefer tea over coffee and usually have 6-10 boxes of different types of tea on hand. I favor herbal teas, rather then that Lipton generic crap. I got lectured once by someone from Great Briton on what 'real' tea is. Which apparently means "you put the carefully measured amount of tea leaves into a metal steeper yourself." Along with very precise water temperature, only specific types of tea leaves, and only a very specific length of time steeping. o_O
 
Hell during WWII the British Government considered tea to be a vital household necessity right next to milk, bread, and eggs and was included on the ration cards.
The British Army considers tea to be a necessity, as in a portable petrol tea kettle is required equipment for the men in the field, to the point where near the end of WWII they installed specialized equipment into Centurion tanks, so that the crew could brew tea without leaving the safety of their vehicle, as was necessary with the standard petrol kettles.

Something that has been continued to the modern day; almost every single vehicle operated by the British military has an in-built boiling vessel for making tea, which British soldiers are only partially joking about when they say said vessel is the most important part of the vehicle.


Do not test the British and their tea, they will blow you up if they have to.
 
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Us Americans joke about it. But yeah, they really do take tea seriously. I love tea, but I think the Brits take things too far. More power to them though.
 
You Brits refuse to even let war prevent you from having a cuppa. If it had been introduced in the middle ages, I'd imagine that major battles would have been put on hold because of Tea Time.
 
To the point that in Asterix in Britain our ancestors stopping for a cuppa was the only reason the Romans conquered us. At this point we only drank water with a spot of milk, later in the story the Druid Getafix introduces some herbs called "tea" that gave us Superhuman fighting ability.
Of course real historians may have some issues with this...
 
All's fine and dandy until the tea gets spilled, undrunk.

That, my friends, is a cause that Brits will go to war over.

Why else do you think WW1 dragged on for 4 years longer than necessary? The germans dumped out the tea!

</sarcasm>
 
6. Omake - DOOM R&R: The Cleansing
This amused me sufficiently that I found another part to it lurking behind the sofa. Enjoy it ;)


Xander ducked as Buffy flew overhead, spun once, and bounced off a dumpster with a loud hollow bong sound. "Uh oh," he yelped, looking around frantically, then diving to the side as the huge furry demon who had punted the Slayer came roaring out of the basement opening in the old abandoned building directly at her. "Holy frak!" he screamed in shock, convinced he was going to die horribly, even as he fumbled with the aluminum baseball bat he'd brought.

About to swing it so at least he could say he died fighting, he aborted the motion when the eight foot tall whateverthefuckitwas demon hurdled him like he was utterly irrelevant and kept going, charging down the pot-holed road without looking back. It was running like it was completely terrified of something…

The thought entered his mind and made him stop dead, not even glancing at Buffy who was swearing under her breath as she painfully levered herself out of the massive dent in the dumpster. Then he slowly turned his head back towards the dark opening in the side of the decrepit factory they'd followed the traces of their quarry towards.

What would make a huge demon run like it was scared to death?

Movement in the darkness resolved into something horrible. Behind him, Buffy squeaked in shock. Xander couldn't even do that.

The answer to his question floated out of the rusty loading door, the single vast green glowing eye set into the upper middle of the creature flicking to him, then the Slayer, before scanning the area. Yellow-white fangs the length of his forearm stuck up at the sides of a mouth large enough to swallow a cow whole, and were joined with a forest of smaller but still horrifically big and extremely sharp looking dentition. He had no idea what the fuck the thing was, but it was hanging in the air a good yard off the ground like gravity didn't apply to it, and gave off an air of danger that outweighed anything he'd ever encountered before.

A long forked tongue flicked out and retreated, taking with it what he dimly realized was something that looked an awful lot like a large hairy hand, that had been hanging half out of the huge mouth.

Yeah, that demon that nearly ran him down had a damn good excuse for leaving the area with all possible speed, he thought rather hysterically, afraid to even twitch.

After a moment, the thing floated closer, enough light coming from the flashlight he'd dropped in his dive to show it was a dull red color like congealed blood. A couple of limbs that he thought were more or less arms hung under it, long talons tipping attenuated fingers that twitched a little. He took shallow terrified breaths, trying not to pass out from fear and attempting to come up with some way to escape his oncoming doom.

Behind him, he heard Buffy shuffle around, and suddenly realized that she was about to attack this thing. Before he could advise her to stay still, because it was clearly not the thing they'd been after and just as clearly was far, far more dangerous, she let out a scream of rage and ran at it, wielding a sword that she'd brought for the occasion. "Die, demon!" she yelled as she swung at it.

Xander winced as the thing spun to face her, moving much faster than something that big should be able to, and raised both underslung arms.

Then he blinked as it casually caught her sword in one hand and her torso in the other, the long fingers going almost all the way around her. Lifting her off the ground without the slightest sign of effort, it held her up in front of it and examined her, even as she shouted in rage and kicked it in the teeth without anything useful happening.

"You smell of HER," it rumbled in the deepest voice Xander had ever encountered, sounding like James Earl Jones at the bottom of a well. "SHE has permitted you to live. We follow HER will."

Then it dropped her to the ground, handed her the sword, and while she was gaping in disbelief, moved carefully around her and towards Xander.

He stared up at it as it paused a few feet away, looking down at him with what was almost curiosity. "Ah..." He couldn't help himself. "It went that way?" His voice broke in a squeak as he pointed in the direction the fleeing demon had run.

"Gratitude," the thing growled, as it tipped slightly in mid air like some weird nod, then floated over him and quickly moved off in the same direction.

Buffy and Xander both watched as it vanished around the corner a couple of hundred feet away, then looked at each other. "What just happened?" he said in a completely baffled voice.

The blonde shrugged, looking totally bemused. "I have no idea," she replied, then rubbed her back with a wince before looking at her hands. "And I've got yuck all over me. Again."

She wiped her hands on her jeans then heaved him to his feet. Both of them turned to look at the impenetrable darkness inside the old factory. Xander bent down and retrieved his flashlight, turning it that way. Deep inside there was a flicker of green, as if reflected from a huge eye. Or, more accurately, several huge eyes.

One of them blinked.

He turned the light off with a flick of his finger and looked at Buffy, who was pale enough that it was easily visible even in the dim lighting. "I vote we go tell Giles," he said brightly. "No sense just rushing in, right?"

After a few seconds, she shivered and tore her gaze away from the black opening. "No, that would be of the stupid," she replied in a voice somewhat higher than usual. "I think you're right. Let's go tell Giles."

"Good idea." He nodded rapidly. "Very good idea." After a short pause, he added, "Let's go quickly, OK?"

Both teenagers turned around and very rapidly walked off, Buffy looking quite unusually worried.

Neither of them looked back. Not even, or more accurately, especially, when something with a very deep voice somewhere behind them chuckled quietly, before going silent again.

They did move rather faster after that though.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"What the hell is going on, Giles?" Buffy demanded urgently as she stormed into the library, Xander following her and looking bewildered. The Watcher turned away from the conversation he'd been having with Willow and Cordelia, both girls surrounded with old books and copious notes, to see his Slayer looking very pale and worried which wasn't like her. She tended towards overconfidence if anything, a common problem with Slayers in general. But now she appeared quite worried and more thoughtful than was normal, as well as angry.

"What do you mean, Buffy?" he inquired, removing his glasses as he spoke.

"Some grody floating ball thing just told me I smell!" she snapped. "After it picked me up like I was a barbie or something! And it took my sword away!"

"It gave the sword back though," Xander pointed out, although he wasn't smiling.

"That's not the point!" she shouted. "Where does a giant floating ball with teeth get off telling me I stink?"

Giles looked between them, then massaged the bridge of his nose. "Perhaps you could calm down, Buffy, and tell me exactly what happened?"

She took a couple of deep breaths, then exhaled slowly. "Yeah. OK. We were following those footprints we found, the ones that you said were from some Gingivitis demon?"

He sighed. "Gingarl demon."

She snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "That thing. Yes. We tracked it to the old factory on Wilson Street. Xander said we should come back and tell you but I said I could go in and get it since there was only one Ginger demon and it didn't look all that tough, then he said that's what I said the last time and I got thrown through a wall, but that was only because I got distracted, so..."

Giles, Willow, and Cordelia were all staring at her. That was almost worthy of Willow herself. The blonde girl was obviously more rattled than she let on.

"Yes, I assume you did indeed go inside, even though Xander had a point?" Giles prompted when she paused for breath.

"Of course I did," she responded. "I had my sword with me, and I was sure I could take it. So Xander waited outside in case someone else turned up and I followed it inside. Then..." She stopped again, looking a little puzzled. "There was a weird sound, somewhere way inside the place. The Gimpy demon screamed and ran at me, and kicked me. I mean, what sort of demon does that? A football demon? Are there football demons?"

"Not to my knowledge, no," he sighed.

"Anyway, it took me by surprise and I didn't duck fast enough, and it kicked me right out the door and into a dumpster and I broke a nail," she complained, showing him her left hand. "And I ruined another pair of jeans. Then it..."

"Ran like a little girl," Xander put in, having taken a seat next to Cordelia and put his bat on the table. He looked worried and thoughtful, Giles noticed.

"Yeah. It just came zipping out of the factory like it was on fire, jumped over Xander, and legged it. It was really weird." Buffy shook her head. "What came out after it was way weirder."

"This other demon?" he prompted.

"I don't know what it was," she replied. "I've never seen anything like it, not even in your books. It was enormous, and it was floating."

"Floating?" he echoed, trying to think of a floating demon. Nothing came to mind immediately.

"Yep. Just hanging there like it was on a string. It looked at us, then I attacked it."

"Of course you did," he sighed. "And what was the result?"

She scowled.

"It grabbed her like she was a little kid and took her sword away," Xander said, almost looking amused for a second as he glanced at the boy. "Just casually snagged her as she jumped it. Then it..."

"Then it told me I smelled," she growled.

"It was more complicated than that," Xander remarked.

"In what way?" Giles asked.

The young man frowned a little. "It said..." He cleared his throat, then put on the deepest voice he could manage. "You smell of HER. SHE has permitted you to live. We follow HER will." Then he coughed violently, before gasping, "Only about four octaves lower."

"Then it put me down again, gave me my sword back, and floated away," Buffy complained. "Xander pointed out where the other one had gone and it thanked him and went in the same direction."

The Watcher looked between them for a few seconds. Neither appeared to be either under the influence of anything nor attempting to be funny, as far as he could see.

"It… thanked Xander?" he carefully repeated.

"Yeah. It said, um, what was it?" she replied, looking at Xander.

"It said 'Gratitude' and wandered off," the young man said. "Quick too. It was out of sight in a few seconds." He swallowed, before adding, "I'm pretty sure there were more of them inside the factory. I pointed the flashlight inside and we could see… eyes."

"Lots of eyes," Buffy said uneasily. "Big ones. Looking at us in the dark."

There was a long silence in the library.

"Something really weird is going on around here," Willow finally said, sounding very worried. "Buffy hasn't dusted a vamp in a week. She can't even find a vamp. Hardly any demons seem to be around either and Sunnydale is demon central normally. We practically trip over them sometimes! But now they're all gone, or nearly all gone anyway. Ever since..."

She glanced at the table sitting over the sealed Hell Mouth. Everyone else looked in the same direction.

"Since that crazy woman jumped in there," Cordelia finished for her. Willow nodded.

"Yeah. Maybe she did something?"

"She must have been horribly killed in seconds," the cheerleader said, somewhat doubtfully.

"I'm not sure about that," Willow said, uneasily. "You saw what happened same as we all did. Angel shot her in the head with a crossbow and she didn't even notice! That's..." She trailed off, then added weakly, "Weird."

Buffy was looking between them and Giles. The Slayer was still doubting their story of what had happened on that very peculiar night as whatever drug had been used on her by the woman in power armor who called herself 'Taylor Hebert' seemed to have made several minutes of her memory get extremely foggy. "I can't believe that someone actually opened the Hell Mouth and jumped in," she grumbled. "And that you let her do it, Giles."

He glared at her. "I could hardly stop her, Buffy. She went through Angel as easily as you would deal with a normal human, if not more so, and you yourself were completely unable to prevail against her. Whatever she is, she is extremely dangerous and not to be taken lightly, that much I can assure you."

"Do we know anything else about her?" Xander asked.

"No. Jenny has used her own skills with those infernal computers in an attempt to discern more information on the woman, if indeed she is a woman, to no avail. Apparently no one has any records of a 'Taylor Hebert' anywhere in the country. At least one who is approximately twenty years old and female. On the other hand we have no proof that she is even human at all. Based on what we saw, I rather doubt it myself." He shook his head slightly. "I have made inquiries to the Council to see if there are any other records available but so far nothing has come to light."

"Angel has asked around as well but he can't find any information either," Willow added. "And I've looked in every place I can think of too. Nothing. Zip. Nada. No sign of her."

"All right." Giles picked up a notebook and pen. "Tell me exactly what happened, and describe this… floating demon… as accurately as you can."

The pair spent the next fifteen minutes describing the encounter and answering questions until he was sure he'd extracted as much information on what they'd seen and experienced as possible. He made a quick sketch based on their description and studied it closely when they confirmed it was accurate.

"This does not resemble any demon I am familiar with," he finally said with annoyance, putting the notebook down. Willow pulled it closer and inspected the sketch with interest, Cordelia looking over her shoulder as the normal animosity the pair tended to exhibit disappeared for the moment. The dark haired girl, despite her carefully cultivated air of dismissive vapidness, was actually rather intelligent and a much better person than many would believe, Giles had come to realize. She was also surprisingly effective at the research side of their little operation.

"I've never seen any pictures like this either," Willow finally said. "I wonder how it floats? Magic, I guess."

"I would assume so but without knowing what it is, who can say," Giles commented, while absently polishing his replacement glasses and thinking hard. "The aspect of this which worries me the most isn't that there is an unknown type of demon in Sunnydale, but there are more than one of them. That implies… something possibly very bad."

"Where are they coming from?" Buffy asked. "And why was it chasing that other one? And why did it say I smelled?"

"It said you smelled of her," Xander remarked. He looked at Buffy, then Giles. "Who is 'her?'"

After several seconds, all of them slowly looked around at the Hell Mouth. "You don't think..." the boy began.

Giles sighed. "I fear that the likelihood of two unusual events in close succession, especially in Sunnydale, being unconnected is slim at best," he replied heavily. "And it would fit, I'm afraid, although what it means I have no idea yet. If that floating demon detected the presence of our visitor the other night and decided that it meant you two were not to be touched, that is both good and bad. Good as in you are still alive."

"Alive is indeed good," Xander agreed fervently.

"Quite. And bad… bad as in why would a number of floating demons that are so frightening that other demons run from them be so respectful of an apparently human woman that merely detecting her scent or whatever it really is that they noticed be enough to make them leave you alone to begin with? Especially after you attacked one of them."

"She can't be human," Cordelia pointed out.

"I suspect not. Although what she is, I have absolutely no idea. And of course as she is on the other side of the Hell Mouth, we are unlikely to be able to discover that," he nodded.

"How many of those things are out there?" Xander asked somewhat uneasily.

"Too many," a voice from the door said, making them all look to see a very ragged-appearing Angel standing there. He looked like he'd gone several rounds with a wood-chipper with a bad attitude and was clearly barely able to stand up.

"Angel!" Buffy cried, jumping to her feet and rushing over, then helping him to a chair.

"What on earth happened to you, Angel?" Giles asked in astonishment.

"Something about nine feet tall and built like a cross between a tank and a minotaur," the vampire replied painfully, wincing as Buffy carefully took his leather jacket off. The garment was virtually shredded and fell to pieces in the process. Despite his ambivalence towards the man, Giles was sorry to see him so thoroughly damaged. It appeared that something had given him a severe beating, but done so carefully enough to cause no permanent damage, which was horribly impressive towards a vampire of his age and skill.

"I don't know what they are or where they came from, but the tunnels under Sunnydale are swarming with the things," he went on. "There are almost no vampires left in the entire city at the moment. I was trying to find out why. I found out." He almost laughed, although there was a haunted look about his eyes, which was worrying. "Those things have taken them all out. They're systematically hunting down vampires, hostile demons, and anything else that's a threat."

"Hunting them?" Giles repeated. "How?"

"I don't know how they're doing it, but most of them can use some sort of fireball spell or something like that. Much more powerful than anything I've ever seen. There are at least two dozen different types of them, ranging from ones about the size of a human to something big enough that it would scare an Old One, and they're incredibly dangerous," he replied with a shiver, clearly highly disturbed. "And there are thousands of them. They're smart too. They're not just attacking randomly, they're systematically sweeping the entire underground, using careful tactics and strategy. And they ignore all the demons who aren't a threat."

He sighed. "I spotted one of the little ones and followed it to the cemetery, then into one of the old crypts that has a way down into the tunnels. Now I think it knew I was there the entire time, and it led me there. I thought it was alone, but suddenly I was in one of the larger caverns and they were everywhere. All of them looking at me. And this big one came over, looked at me, laughed, told me I was lucky that SHE wouldn't want me dealt with like the rest since SHE had spared me, then kicked the shit out of me." He prodded his face, hissing in pain. "Very professionally. Then it told a couple of the little ones to take my up to the street and toss me out. Which they did."

He looked seriously at Giles, then Buffy. "I don't know what they are, but I can tell you that they're nothing like you've faced before. You can't take them on with a sword. The little ones, maybe, you might be able to kill one or two, but there are too many of them to deal with like that and they're fast. Much faster than even a vampire. Those fireballs they use… If one of those hit you, it would kill you no question. The big ones… I don't think there'd be anything left at all." After a moment, he added, "I'm also pretty sure that Spike and Drusilla are dead. And they got the Judge too, from what I saw. Nothing left but little bits of charcoal."

Giles stared at him, torn between incredulity and hope. "Are you certain?"

Angel shrugged, then winced again. "As sure as I can be. I found where they'd definitely been staying and it was completely slagged. The boxes the parts of the Judge were in, or what was left of them, were there too. The whole room looked like it had been gone over with a flamethrower for about an hour. Everything was melted and even the surfaces of the stones were glass. But what was left of Spike's wheelchair was there, along with some of the stuff I know he had. I'm pretty convinced that these things found them and solved that problem for us."

Sitting down, his glasses forgotten in his hand, Giles gaped slightly as Buffy used the medical kit to clean up some of the vampire's abrasions. "Good lord."

"Are they the good guys, then?" Willow asked, sounding very confused and quite frightened.

"They're demons, Willow," Cordelia said, although she also sounded puzzled.

"Yeah, but there are good demons, right? Maybe these guys are good demons too." The red-head looked around at them, trying to appear positive. "They're killing off all the bad demons, so that makes them good, I mean."

"Or they don't like the competition," Xander remarked, an odd expression on his face. They looked at him, then each other.

"I wish that I could say you're wrong but I can't quite dismiss the thought, much as I'd like to," Giles finally sighed. "It is possible that they have some ulterior motive for being here and removing the other demons is part of that plan."

"What do we do about it?" Buffy asked, closing the medical kit and turning to him.

"I have no idea at present," he admitted.

The room very gently heaved, making various things rattle. Everyone looked around, then twitched at a faint but vast scream of anger and fear, which seemed to come from below.

Xander peered at the floor. "Sounds like that crazy woman is still going," he commented with a confused grin.

"SHE is consumed with Rage and Joy as SHE cleanses the lower realm," a gravelly voice said unexpectedly, making them all whip around and stare at the main entrance. "We serve HER will, and await HER triumphant return from scouring the unworthy from existence. While we wait, we act in HER name to remove those irritants that are beneath HER notice. For SHE is the DOOM QUEEN, rightful Heir to Hell, and the true ruler of the Umbral Plains. All who act against HER fall before HER might, yet SHE is merciful towards those who show respect to HER Glory and Power."

The massively tall creature standing in the doorway on two hooved legs smiled grimly at them. It was so large its horns brushed the ceiling, and Giles, even through a gut-wrenching terror that dwarfed anything he'd experienced heretofore couldn't help but wonder how on earth the bloody thing had managed to sneak up on them like that.

"You are marked by HER presence. Rejoice, for you will live." It added this in a somewhat amused tone of voice, then looked directly at Angel, who swallowed. "We are watching, small parasite. Do not give HER reason to withdraw HER mercy." The enormous demon pointed two fingers at its own eyes, then at him. It smiled again, showing a lot of teeth, made a small bow towards the room at large, and turned away.

"SHE will return when SHE has finished HER work," it remarked over its shoulder in a rather casual manner, then it vanished out the door, which closed behind it. Oddly quiet but very heavy footsteps that they'd completely missed before retreated down the corridor, until it was silent again.

Some time later, Giles looked down and realized that he'd crushed another pair of glasses.

"He was polite for a demon," Cordelia said in a very squeaky voice, before passing out over Willow, who yelped as the taller girl nearly pushed her to the floor.

Giles looked at them, then Xander who was staring at the door, his face pale, then turned to Buffy and Angel. The blonde girl was holding the vampire's hand so tightly Giles could hear bones creaking from across the library. Angel himself had a look on his face that suggested that even if he could sleep he would never do so again.

"I would suggest that it would probably be sensible not to venture into any dark areas for the foreseeable future," he said quietly. "We have been given a warning we might not get again."

Angel looked at the door for a moment, then back at him, before nodding. "I think that's a good idea," he replied in an uneven voice.

Standing up, Giles went into his office and shut the door, put his destroyed glasses next to the first set, dug out his backup backup ones and put them on, sat at his desk, and very deliberately pulled the half-empty bottle of scotch from the bottom drawer.

Looking at the shot glass that was still in there, he shook his head, unscrewed the lid, and took a long pull direct from the bottle.

Then he rather shakily started to write yet another report.
 
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The young man frowned a little. "It said..." He cleared his throat, then put on the deepest voice he could manage. "You smell of HER. SHE has permitted you to live. We follow HER will." Then he coughed violently, before gasping, "Only about four octaves lower."
'four octaves lower, in bold, and in red.' You mean.
"SHE is consumed with Rage and Joy as SHE cleanses the lower realm," a gravelly voice said unexpectedly, making them all whip around and stare at the main entrance
Like that, yeah.

I'm laughing far too hard at this, honestly. Though In part I'm just excited to see this update in general, too.
 
Very interesting and fun.

I wonder how the Scooby Gang would react to Taylor telling them about Earth Bet, parahumans and all.
 
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