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Strange Lands, and Stranger Times.

[X] "I'm Rose. Why I'm with Jurgen should be obvious, I was helping. Some children have gone missing but there was this thing. A swamp troll I heard you call it. Well it tore into Jurgen. I brought him here, like he asked, and that is that," Rose says. She almost lost her calm at the start, the thing was scary and Jurgen seemed a good man, but she recovered towards the end. Her well earned distrust rearing its head in the face of more personal questions.

The writing isn't bad at all. Stop worrying about it over much. Practice will smooth away the rougher edges. I quite like the narrative focus over the gaming mechanics. There are different quests for gaming. One of the things that stands out about this. 1) Its an interesting original world. 2) Its a story first. 3) Believe it or not general quality of the narrative.
Its not confusing, which is a real issue in bad/inexperienced writers, I'm always having to clean up my writing. All in all you are doing well.
 
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I like some of Tempest write-in added some of this to my own. Here's what I came up with.

[X] "Well my name is Rose. I heard about the missing children back in the city and I thought I could help out; do my part. I met Jurgen along the way, and he said we'd be looking for some clues until I ran into that thing: the swamp troll, right? Well, he hacked at it till it was on its last feet and then it tore into Jurgen. It was... choking on its blood by then, so I fended it off away from him until it keeled over," said Rose shivering slightly at the memory of the bloody final gasp of the creature,"I brought him here, like he asked, and that was it, I just...I just wanted to help," she concluded in somber, but strong and tempered tone. She'd almost lost her calm at the start, the thing was scary and Jurgen seemed a good man, but she recovered towards the end, and the inner spark of something, a hint of the hidden strength of her courage had bled into her recount.
 
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[X] "I'm Rose. Why I'm with Jurgen should be obvious, I was helping. Some children have gone missing but there was this thing. A swamp troll I heard you call it. Well it tore into Jurgen. I brought him here, like he asked, and that is that," Rose says. She almost lost her calm at the start, the thing was scary and Jurgen seemed a good man, but she recovered towards the end. Her well earned distrust rearing its head in the face of more personal questions.

You took a moment to collect your thoughts. Everything had been happening so fast of late, it felt unreal. That's when you realized something. He didn't respect you, didn't consider you an equal. Your muscles tensed as you felt you anger rise. Who was he to so casually disregard you and still expect you to obey him in turn? If he would so easily disregard you then you would treat him in turn.
If He Knew The Truth He Would Not Act With Such Insolence
With no small amount of hostility you tell him "I was helping Jurgen, obviously. We were investigating the missing children when that thing, a swamp troll you called it, attacked us." You took a deep breath, quelling the anger in your chest. You would not be ruled by your anger.
Sal is surprised by your tone. "And what happened exactly?" He cautiously probes.

"I shot it" you state flatly. "And then Jurgen attacked. It laid into Jurgen, but he gave it a good thrashing as well. It broke his arm, and I shot its leg out in return. It bled out shortly after." You meet his eyes after you finish, staring him down.
Show No Weakness, Strength Is Their only Tongue
Sal breaks first when he stares off into space, as he mutters to himself. "Jugen does have a penchant for anti-coagulant. Put in a few good hits and I'd only be a matter of time. . ."

It takes a few seconds before you clear your throat.

"Got lost in thought. Well you answered my questions so you're free to go. You should come by tomorrow, we have open bounties for any dangerous creatures found in civilized area. I'm sure Jurgen will split it with you, we'll just need to confirm the body." Sal turns towards the building "It was an interesting meeting Rose, but I have work to attend to. " He gives you a short nod before closing the door.

You still have the afternoon left, what do you do?
Choose one
[ ] Visit the temple, while your shoulder doesn't hurt as badly as it did you should still get it looked at.
[ ] Visit a bathhouse. You were sure that you smelled unpleasant, and the warmth would ease your aches.
[ ] Look for work. Even with the possible bounty some steady work would be nice.
[ ] Other. Write in.

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OK so i changed the write in somewhat. Two reasons, one was to make it flow a little better and to put it into second person. Two, With write ins I may not take them verbatim but try to get at the heart of the write in instead. Tempest, it ended up being a little more hostile than the one you wrote but I read your write in as Rose being somewhat upset/angered over Sal's lack of respect/tact. It kind of ended up being that way as I wrote it.
 
[X] Visit a bathhouse. You were sure that you smelled unpleasant, and the warmth would ease your aches.
Thats good. I only put it there as a gist of how I see her. You hit all the right points. Well done.
 
@IcePickLobotomy How much is the buonty compared to a day's rent at the inn? If it's long enough for a week or two, then we're fine to do other things. Less, and we need to pick up some more reliable work.
 
Hydroplatypus said:
@IcePickLobotomy How much is the buonty compared to a day's rent at the inn? If it's long enough for a week or two, then we're fine to do other things. Less, and we need to pick up some more reliable work.
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While you were never told how much, its going to be 2 Silver, which is equal to 50 coppers. Technically the bounty is 4, but you're splitting it with Jurgen.
 
IcePickLobotomy said:
While you were never told how much, its going to be 2 Silver, which is equal to 50 coppers. Technically the bounty is 4, but you're splitting it with Jurgen.
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So the conversion rate is 1 silver : 25 copper? good to know. That gives us about a month and a bit of food and board at the inn. Minus expenses of course, but I expect to get more money in that month we have. Given that our money problem is solved, lets go with:

[X] Visit a bathhouse. You were sure that you smelled unpleasant, and the warmth would ease your aches.
 
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[X] Visit a bathhouse. You were sure that you smelled unpleasant, and the warmth would ease your aches.

You needed a bath. It has been a constant action and anxiety for the past 3 days or so, your mind needed a rest. Warm waters soothe the mind, body and soul, or so your mother would say.

It didn't take you to long to find the bath house, a plain two story affair made of reddish-brown bricks and a few thin windows near the roof to let light in. Stepping inside you're greeted by a cheerful hostesses about your age. She directs you to the women's bathing area.
The bathing area is a large pool of water, wisps of steam peel off the surface and the air is thick is thick with moisture. You're the only one in the area. You quickly peel your armor and clothing off, your nose wrinkling at the smell. You resolve to wash the clothing later.

You step into the water, and sit upon the bench hewn from the rock. You can feel the heat creep into your muscles easing the aches and pains. You close your eyes and breathe deeply. You had nearly died twitch, were lost in a strange city, and had no idea what was happening to you, but for now you could forget your troubles. You relax and let the tension drain from your body. The only thing you would concern yourself with would be scrubbing the dirt and mud off yourself, and enjoying the water. You close your eyes and let the time move past you like wisps of steam through the air.

Sometime later you are roused from your state of half-conciseness by a gaggle of women coming through the door. A few of them give you a friendly wave, you sink a little further into the water. This intrusion is unwelcome. The quickly settle around the pool, gossisping. You tune it out, but after awhile it something catches your ear.

"Did you hear that the guard caught the killer?"

"Really?"

"Oh yes, found him with his hands around a who-"One of the them coughs, and you can feel their eyes looking in your direction. "Working Girl's throat. They plan to hang him in three days."

"Good news indeed, the streets have been awfully unsafe these last few days."

A newvoicem quiet and soft spoken speaks up "They didn't catch him."

"Alice, don't be silly, of course they caught him."

"No, they didn't" Alice replies "The killer had cut up all those girls with a knife or something bladed. He didn't strangle them. It can't be him."
Silence rains for several moments, before one of the women breaks it. "So did you hear the Sandra's daughter was out past curfew last night?"
At this you tune them out again.

Sometime later, after the women leave, you eke out enough motivation to leave the water. When you emerge from the bathhouse the sun has sunk low into the sky, drawing out the shadows of the city and turning the sky a brilliant orange. You make your way back to the inn, and finally making out the name in the sun's dying light. The Lazy Flee, wonderful.

Once again the dour barkeep pushes three extra plates of fish. A few of the Sailors chuckle when he gives you the first, and seem mildly surprised at the second. By the third they call bullshit, wondering how a teenage girl managed to eat more than them. The barkeep laughs, and you feel smile smugly.​
​
You flop into your bed and soon fall asleep. You hoped tomorrows held no more violent encounters.​
Your plans for the next day. Select two.​
​
[ ] Investigate a rumor. Which do you investigate?
- Goblin aggression.
- Black Shark infighting.
- Duke Hanler's aggressive behavior.
- Missing Children.

[ ] Look for work.

[ ] Visit the woodsman. You wanted to see if Jurgen was all-right.. (If not selected you will still collect the bounty.)​

[ ] Other.
- Write in.
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OK so I technically posted this within two days so I'm still good! Hopefully the description was too fluffy here.

Hydroplatypus said:
So the conversion rate is 1 silver : 25 copper? good to know.
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Correct, 25 copper to a silver. and 100 silver to a gold, but gold is the realm of governments and the very wealthy. for the everyday person copper is day to day things like food and clothing, and silver is for larger/important purchases such as houses and rent. This is for the average person of course. The rich can easily drop several silvers for a fancy dinner.
 
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[X] Investigate a rumor. Which do you investigate?
-[X]Missing Children.
[X] Visit the woodsman. You wanted to see if Jurgen was all-right.. (If not selected you will still collect the bounty.)
Edited vote change
 
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[X] Investigate a rumor. Which do you investigate?​
-[X]Missing Children.
[X] Visit the woodsman. You wanted to see if Jurgen was all-right.. (If not selected you will still collect the bounty.)​
​
​
We should really try to finish what we start, and as before missing children are a BAD THING. If we can stop that, lets try to do so. And given that Jurgen seems like a competent party member/friend/contact it would probably be a good idea to keep in touch with him. Given that we have a month's worth of money we don't need work at the moment, so we can put that for quite a while, if we ever need it at all.​
 
But But but Pets. Goblins as pets. Its a win win. We have a magical creature as a pet and it can be gross and rude and we can just say"Its a goblin, what did you expect?"
 
Tempest said:
But But but Pets. Goblins as pets. Its a win win. We have a magical creature as a pet and it can be gross and rude and we can just say"Its a goblin, what did you expect?"
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While I'm not adverse to investigating goblins, I say we put that off one more day. Now is by far the best time to cultivate a friendship with Jurgen, and the children have higher priority than goblins. It is unlikely that we will need to visit him again tomorrow, so we can investigate the goblins then.
 
[X] Investigate a rumor. Which do you investigate?
-[X]Missing Children.
[X] Visit the woodsman. You wanted to see if Jurgen was all-right.. (If not selected you will still collect the bounty.)
 
[X] Investigate a rumor. Which do you investigate?
-[X]Missing Children.
[X] Visit the woodsman. You wanted to see if Jurgen was all-right.. (If not selected you will still collect the bounty.)
 
[X] Investigate a rumor. Which do you investigate?
-[X]Missing Children.
[X] Visit the woodsman. You wanted to see if Jurgen was all-right. (If not selected you will still collect the bounty.
You slowly pull your eyes open as sunlight dimly filters through the dirty window above your bed. You yawn as you stretch, feeling the many popping cracks of stiff joints. You wince as you rotate your left shoulder, a large blotchy bruise covering much of the joint and had spread to the edge of your collar bone. Still, the soreness seems manageable. As long as you don't do anything crazy, like taking on a swamp troll, you'll be fine.

Dressing quickly, you head down stairs. The inn keeper hands you a loaf of fresh bread, you grab it but he speaks before letting go. "Watch yourself girl, things are rather tense today." His voice is even and bored, you wonder if he is even capable of showing emotion at this point.

"What's going on?" you ask.

"Last night the mayor said that the woodsmen had killed the creature responsible for the missing children." The man pauses as he picks a few mugs from a nearby table "Three children went missing this morning. People are understandably upset"

Your surprise flashes across your face, the innkeeper smiles "Not that you had anything to do with that, enjoy your day."

"Thanks" you say slowly. What in the 9 hells was this man up to?

"Before we forget, if you intend to stay the night again, you're going to need to pay."

"I hadn't forgotten" you bristle "If I decide to stay here you'll get your money."

He snorts "Easy girl, you shouldn't be so quick to take offense. You'll live a longer, and happier, life if you don't mind others so much." He tosses an apple which you snap out of the air. "Well go on, I'm sure you've got a busy day planned."

You leave annoyed with the innkeeper. Still, he'd given you a good deal for the room and the food was all right. Still, it could have been much worse.
Moving through the city you can plainly see and hear the people's thoughts.

"The mayor said it was dead"
Fools
"I bet it's the fault of the heathens, this is the Lady's Judgment for allowing them to corrupt of city!"
Cowards
"The woodsmen lied to us, I bet their behind this whole thing!"
Liars
Some were angry, others sad, but none were happy. It seemed strange to you that people would get so upset over this, perhaps there was more to this then you knew? You decided to speak with the woodsmen, and to see Jurgen. They would have a better idea about what to do, and you wanted to help.
They disgust me
When you arrived at the woodsmen headquarters you see Jurgen, Sal, Allen, and an older looking woman with steely grey hair tied in a simple bun. They are sitting in the shade of a tree discussing something. Jurgen waves and beckons you over when he sees you.

"Rose!" Jurgen speaks, his booming voice at a volume most would consider a shout. "The damnable troll didn't give you too much trouble did it?"
You smile easily "No, I'm allright, I'd say you got the better part of the beating." Jurgen was, simple would be the wrong word, earnest, genuine. You couldn't claim to know him well, but you thought well of him. He was easy to get along with and his friendly manner was infectious.

"That I did, but I think I'm better suited to it than you." He glances back at the woman, who is watching the exchange carefully. "Before I forget, Rose this is Commander Salmer, leader of the lodge here."

Salmer stands up and meets your eyes. She stares intently, and you can't help but feel as though you're being stripped bare and judged. Still you meet her eyes. you weren't going to back down from this challenge. A few moments later she gives you a respectful nod and motions you to sit.

"Jurgen told me about the incident with the troll." Her voice is sharp and clear, carrying with it the weight and presence of command. "Your actions were commendable."

"Thank you ma'am" this is a woman who demands, and deserves, your respect. You'd be foolish to not give it.

She pulls her lips into a humorless smile "You are a most curious girl miss Rose. We found this" She pulls a familiar arrowhead from out "In the trolls left eye. In an amazing coincidence, this arrow head is identical to your arrows that we recovered from the troll. Don't you think miss Rose?"

Jurgen speaks before you can say something. "You ain't in trouble Rose." Jurgen holds a hand up "We just want to know how that arrowhead got there. It seems like you and the troll had a history, it's possible that you pissed of a fae. If you did we need to know so that we can deal with it."

"Jurgen is correct" Salmer states "If you are in danger than we can help you, but we can only do so if you let us." Her tone is more measured, a bit warmer. It reminds you of your mother when she's serious about something.

What do you say?

[ ] Tell them everything, about being lost in the Deep Woods, the bow, den-mother, all of it.
[ ] Tell them most of it but leave some things out. They don't need to know about den-mother, or about how the bow is. . . doing something with energy.
[ ] Tell them nothing. The troll is dead. Den-mother is nice enough, you don't have anything to worry about and you don't want to talk about it either.
[ ] Other. Write in.

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Hey guys guess what! This update puts me past 10K words, not much compared to others but its a personal best.

As a quick note, I've made a few references to things that I've yet to explain. The main reason is that I haven't had the chance to explain things without breaking the flow of the narrative too badly. The second is that in all honesty it hasn't been important either. I won't let you guys make a decision without telling you what ever background info is relevant and known to rose. The reason I bring this up is that my muse has been chugging along on this so I'm going to put up another lore interlude. I'd like to see what you guys would like to learn more about so I'll offer a few suggestions.

[ ] The woodsmen
[ ] Religious background/general info
[ ] Recent history/important events
[ ] Other. write in. Want to know something else? go ahead and put it out there.
 
[X] Tell them most of it but leave some things out. They don't need to know about den-mother, or about how the bow is. . . doing something with energy.
[X] Religious background/general info
 
[X] Tell them most of it but leave some things out. They don't need to know about den-mother, or about how the bow is. . . doing something with energy.
[X] Religious background/general info
 
[X] Tell them most of it but leave some things out. They don't need to know about den-mother, or about how the bow is. . . doing something with energy.
[X] Religious background/general info
 
[X] Tell them most of it but leave some things out. They don't need to know about den-mother, or about how the bow is. . . doing something with energy.
[X] The woodsmen

Getting these people as allies sounds like a good idea, and they seem like they would be discreet enough. However just randomly telling people that a magic bow is doing something to us sounds like a bad idea. We'll inform them of the missing bits when/if we trust them a bit more/when if becomes relevant.

As to lore, the woodsmen seem like they will be a good group of allies/a good quest hub. Lets get some information so that we can figure out who these people are, before we make any commitments.
 
[X] Tell them most of it but leave some things out. They don't need to know about den-mother, or about how the bow is. . . doing something with energy.
[X] Religious background/general info
 
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