Lavenza was right about one thing. Trying to ignore your problems isn't going to solve them, and it certainly won't make them go away. Not that you feel the pressing urge to face them head on or anything.
But you think you can start small. You've acknowledged that the issues exist, and that seems to be a good step one.
As for step two... okay, you haven't really thought that far ahead yet. But you should probably start talking to Shinjiro-san again, because people are starting to notice you acting strangely, and that's... really not great for helping you to deal.
So. There's your step two. Get back on speaking terms with Shinjiro-san. Easy.
You aren't really sure how to go about it at first, but you decide that you should just try to act normally. You'll just... randomly start up a conversation, like you usually do.
Once you've made up your mind, you put your spear away, careful to actually set it in place. The last time you were done using it, you sort of tossed it, it got a lot lighter... a kid your size really shouldn't have been able to throw a spear into the ceiling.
Shinjiro-san is currently sitting on the couch and ignoring the rest of the world. Sanada-san and Kirijo-san aren't anywhere in sight, which is good. The fewer people around, the less you feel like you're being pressed to act the same as always.
Not that you aren't. It's just that this is something you actually want to do, rather than you just desperately trying to appear like nothing's wrong. Because there's a lot of things wrong right now, and you're sort of tired of pretending there's not.
"Um, Shinjiro-san?" It takes a few tries to get his attention, which doesn't surprise you in the slightest.
"Oh, hey, kid. You done practicing?"
"I'm not sure it'd really... change anything," You admit. You think you sort of know what you're doing now, it's just that the weapon you were given doesn't want to cooperate with you. Or something like that. "And it wouldn't really be all that hard, if it weren't for-" You shake your head. You aren't sure if you were talking about your recent distraction or the fact that your spear seems to be some sort of shapeshifting void weapon, and you should probably discontinue that line of thought before you actually have to figure that out.
Thankfully, Shinjiro-san seems to take it as the latter. "...You know, if you asked, I'm sure Mitsuru would be okay with getting you another weapon."
"It's fine," You reply, quickly. Maybe a bit too fast? Doesn't matter- there's no taking it back. "I mean, if Ikutsuki-san got this one for me, he must think I'd be able to properly use it, right?"
"You... may be overestimating him a little."
Or a lot. Really, he doesn't know the half of it...
You wince. It's been a while, since you last got that odd feeling of there being words that you can't really hear.
Sorry about that, I sort of... lost track of time.
"Really? But... aren't adults supposed to be responsible like that?"
"Yeah, well..." He sighs and shakes his head. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, kid, but things aren't always the way they're supposed to be." You don't think you can really disagree with that.
Not when you still aren't sure how things are supposed to be to begin with.
Well, that didn't clear up quite as much as you'd hoped, but it proves that you and Shinjiro-san are still capable of having a civil conversation, and you think that just might be the most important part. Sure, neither of you are really comfortable with each other anymore, but it's good to know that you can still sort-of coexist.
You aren't sure you're ready to try for more than that, yet, but it should be fine so long as there are other people around. Which means that you don't have to worry about this stuff so much, and can focus on the things you actually want to do. (Pick up to three.)
[ ] Spend time with friends.
-[ ] Maiko and Akira.
-[ ] Shinjiro-san and Kirijo-san.
-[ ] Sanada-san.
-[ ] Saito-san and Koromaru.
-[ ] Morgana.
[ ] Do some training.
-[ ] Practice Channeling Hama.
-[ ] Practice Channeling Kouha.
-[ ] Practice Channeling Dia
--[ ] By yourself.
--[ ] With Morgana.
-[ ] Practice Channeling Zio
--[ ] By yourself.
--[ ] With Sanada-san.
-[ ] Practice Channeling Cruel Attack.
-[ ] Extra weapon training. (+Diligence)
[ ] Go to the library
-[ ] To study. (+Knowledge)
-[ ] To read manga. (+Courage)
-[ ] For more mythology books. (+Empathy)
[ ] Look up Masao Inaba.