Sakura Haruno The Gaming Addict, and Her Gamified Life [Naruto]
- Thread starter Sendicard
- Start date
Chapter 26: Arc 3 - Coming Home: DDPF
Sendicard
Writer of Sakura
- Location
- New Mexico, USA
- Pronouns
- YouPick
Haku's first interaction with the Hokage after being allowed to enter his office, is to bow so deeply his forehead touches the floor. This is normally done by getting on one's hands and knees, Haku does it standing straight up.
Kakashi, standing to the side as Haku's Jonin voucher and escort, isn't sure how to deal with that and if the Hokage's awkwardly tilted expression is anything to go by, he's not sure either.
"Don't tell me." Hiruzen Sarutobi forces a cough, breaking up the moment and giving himself a quick breath while the ninja in front of him returns to a more normal ensemble. "You're here because of Sakura Haruno."
"How did you know?" The boy asks, tilting his head ever so slightly.
"Oh, just a hunch." The Hokage is a master of many faces, and Kakashi finds a new one almost every time he enters this office. That is not the case today, that is exactly the bemused expression he's given his pink-haired student almost every time they've met. It all started with, 'boom headshot', he's pretty sure.
"I am here to explain my situation, and request permission to reside at Sakura Haruno's address as her tenant." The boy says. "I am Haku."
"You are an orphan?" The Hokage asks the good-natured student, already readying paperwork with the mystical ability that all high-ranking office ninjas possess to ensure the proper forms appear from mid-air. What chunin don't know, is that it's not a genjutsu, their clothes have paperwork-based seal work. The best ninjas in office-based professions have multiple copies of each seal, but for normal Jonin desk workers and the like one copy of each normal form is far more reasonable.
Kakashi still has the Anbu 'redaction' paperwork up his gloves, it was easier to keep it than to get new gloves.
"I am." Haku agrees, hands resting at his side in clear view. It's polite to leave your hands out in the open when dealing with other ninjas, not that it matters much in the face of the Hokage. Even if Kakashi wasn't here, there's a dozen different Anbu around, the boy's head would be in a box before he made a single hostile hand sign, behind his back or not. "I am also citizenshipless, not a wanted criminal, and I possess the Yuki Bloodline, Ice Release."
"You're from Kirigakure?" The Hokage asks, causing the boy to slowly nod.
"Approved, report to the Identification Office tomorrow at noon to get your civilian ID, you may apply for a Genin status and Ninja ID after one year without an incident. You are dismissed." Hiruzen is quick enough about it Kakashi can't help but gawk, even as the boy nods respectfully and takes his leave before the old man can change his mind.
"That was surprisingly simple," Kakashi says, leaning against a wall a mere foot away from the hiding spot of another ninja, subtly kicking him to tease him. "I've been worried over this for weeks."
"What did you expect?" Hiruzen asks him with a hearty, good-natured laugh. "A chance to spite Kirigakure and obtain a bloodline for the price of signing some paperwork? Why would I hesitate?"
"I dunno, security risks, inspections, the fact that he's going to live with one of your genin…" Kakashi trails.
"When you have been Hokage as long as I have, you learn to differentiate the crazy from the harmlessly crazy." Hiruzen strokes his beard, eying Kakashi, then signaling the teased ninja by Kakashi's feet that he can move. The man is clearly disappointed, leaving hiding to go sulk by the window. When an ex-Anbu commander feels the need to point out how obvious you are, you're probably getting a scolding later, and he knows it. "The boy is harmless. He likely won't even apply for that ninja opportunity next year. He'll get so into whatever craft he picks up in the meanwhile that he'll stick with it."
"I could see that." Kakashi agrees, "but why even offer that? You don't normally afford random-walk ins with that much, value."
"Well, Kakashi, you lack certain perspectives that I have. Through no fault of your own, you have lived so much bloodshed with hardly a break, that you fail to see the obvious in front of you. You're too busy looking for a much bigger trick." The Hokage pulls a pipe from his desk, lighting it with a hearty chuckle and admiring the gentle crackle of dried-out tobacco igniting. "A male bloodline without meaningful prior village attachment in any sense - a bloodline from Kirigakure has more stories about how much they hate their home than fondness - has walked into our home begging to be allowed to stay with a cute girl who will grow into a fine young woman someday."
"So you want ice babies?" Kakashi can't help but phrase it keenly.
"Yes Kakashi, I want ice babies." The Hokage admits with a smirk.
"You do realize she's already got two clan heads looking at her out of the corner of their eyes." Kakashi deadpans.
"Harem ending?" The Hokage asks. "Like in Icha Icha seven, the hard decision gone horribly right?"
"Life doesn't work like that." Kakashi groans. "That was a good book though."
"My student's genius aside. The boys have many other targets for their affection as they grow up, and I am sure this Haku will too. It doesn't matter who they make babies with, what matters is that they make babies." The Hokage snickers to himself and takes a puff from his pipe. "The village needs more super-powered babies, I can't be Hokage forever, someone needs to get ridiculously strong and take over."
"You think it'll be Naruto?" Kakashi asks.
"I sure hope not, I hope it's someone who can do it like, next year. If I'm still Hokage this time next year, I am going to start making mock holidays to mess with people… Like, give me ice babies day." He chuckles at that idea, puffing idly. "So now that we're alone in every meaning of the word that matters, give me the real report, that crap you sent in through the official channels didn't even fool the chunin."
"Will that be an issue?" Kakashi asks.
"They know better than to ask questions when the great 'Kakashi Hatake' not so subtly tells them that it's above their paygrade. I still need to know what happened to my cute genin."
"Well it all started when Sakura got bisected by her own sword, or maybe it was when she stepped on that guy's face? I'm not sure they're connected events-"
"So this boy you allowed to live here." It only took about twenty minutes for her parents to calm down enough to allow her to leave her room, and she very quickly finds she regrets doing just that. They sit her down at the table and immediately start asking awkward questions.
At least Haku's nice enough to give her the warm food he'd been messing with. It appears he made a cheese glaze while she was stuck upstairs, that was nice of him. "Haku." She answers. "He saved my life, and in doing so got fired. I offered him a new job and a place to live."
"You get this is our house, right?" Her father can't help but ask. "You can't just offer a place without asking us."
"How was I supposed to ask?" She asks. "I mean, now I know Naruto left a clone here and he probably could have sent a message somehow but at the time, I was a country away and someone had just saved my life."
"Then, don't offer?" Her mother frowns.
"Wasn't an option, saved my life." She repeats. "Fed me too, a lot, he brought quite a few meals out to me while I was working." That said work was mostly walking on water and practicing nonsense Pokemon moves in jutsu form, doesn't need to be said, lest her parents pick that apart."
"Are you being intentionally obtuse?" Mebuki asks bluntly.
"Yes." Sakura nods, enjoying this nicely warmed and cheesified bite. Haku's the best! "But you can't deny you wouldn't have at least wanted to meet him."
"Well yes, but…" Mebuki trails.
Hizashi takes over. "Sakura, if you invite another random boy to live with you without asking us, they'll be taking your room."
"That'd be fine, I barely use it besides gaming and sleeping, I could add another bed pretty easily." Sakura shrugs.
"I mean we'll kick you out." Hizashi asserts, sternly.
"Wha-"
"The first was one thing, you were clearly misunderstanding the issue, and we raised you to have empathy. We weren't going to punish you for making a mistake, but you're an adult now, you make enough money to afford your own apartment, and if you insist on treating our home as a hotel you can do that with your own." Kizashi continues.
"..." It's not often Sakura tears up, she's very good at holding things like that back.
The Academy trained her well. This is one of those times. "So when you say boy." She asks for clarification, softly. "What if I found a homeless girl?"
"I could have a second daughter." Mebuki admits.
"Don't encourage her!" Kizashi is not impressed.
"I can pay Haku's rent." Sakura offers, "I planned to anyway, at least until they're on their feet."
"The fact that you understand how rent works kind of only proves my point." Hizashi says sternly, crossing his arms boldly and glaring her down. He makes her feel like a little girl, but he might have a point here. "Don't, do it, again."
"Now now, I really could use another daughter-"
"We will discuss that in private." Kizashi growls under his breath through grit teeth. "Don't give her room to misinterpret the point, we've been over this, most of the time it's you scolding me about it so I know you get it."
"You're right, sorry." Mebuki sighs with raised hands. "Dumb Daughter Problems First."
"DDPF." Kizashi nods.
Kakashi, standing to the side as Haku's Jonin voucher and escort, isn't sure how to deal with that and if the Hokage's awkwardly tilted expression is anything to go by, he's not sure either.
"Don't tell me." Hiruzen Sarutobi forces a cough, breaking up the moment and giving himself a quick breath while the ninja in front of him returns to a more normal ensemble. "You're here because of Sakura Haruno."
"How did you know?" The boy asks, tilting his head ever so slightly.
"Oh, just a hunch." The Hokage is a master of many faces, and Kakashi finds a new one almost every time he enters this office. That is not the case today, that is exactly the bemused expression he's given his pink-haired student almost every time they've met. It all started with, 'boom headshot', he's pretty sure.
"I am here to explain my situation, and request permission to reside at Sakura Haruno's address as her tenant." The boy says. "I am Haku."
"You are an orphan?" The Hokage asks the good-natured student, already readying paperwork with the mystical ability that all high-ranking office ninjas possess to ensure the proper forms appear from mid-air. What chunin don't know, is that it's not a genjutsu, their clothes have paperwork-based seal work. The best ninjas in office-based professions have multiple copies of each seal, but for normal Jonin desk workers and the like one copy of each normal form is far more reasonable.
Kakashi still has the Anbu 'redaction' paperwork up his gloves, it was easier to keep it than to get new gloves.
"I am." Haku agrees, hands resting at his side in clear view. It's polite to leave your hands out in the open when dealing with other ninjas, not that it matters much in the face of the Hokage. Even if Kakashi wasn't here, there's a dozen different Anbu around, the boy's head would be in a box before he made a single hostile hand sign, behind his back or not. "I am also citizenshipless, not a wanted criminal, and I possess the Yuki Bloodline, Ice Release."
"You're from Kirigakure?" The Hokage asks, causing the boy to slowly nod.
"Approved, report to the Identification Office tomorrow at noon to get your civilian ID, you may apply for a Genin status and Ninja ID after one year without an incident. You are dismissed." Hiruzen is quick enough about it Kakashi can't help but gawk, even as the boy nods respectfully and takes his leave before the old man can change his mind.
"That was surprisingly simple," Kakashi says, leaning against a wall a mere foot away from the hiding spot of another ninja, subtly kicking him to tease him. "I've been worried over this for weeks."
"What did you expect?" Hiruzen asks him with a hearty, good-natured laugh. "A chance to spite Kirigakure and obtain a bloodline for the price of signing some paperwork? Why would I hesitate?"
"I dunno, security risks, inspections, the fact that he's going to live with one of your genin…" Kakashi trails.
"When you have been Hokage as long as I have, you learn to differentiate the crazy from the harmlessly crazy." Hiruzen strokes his beard, eying Kakashi, then signaling the teased ninja by Kakashi's feet that he can move. The man is clearly disappointed, leaving hiding to go sulk by the window. When an ex-Anbu commander feels the need to point out how obvious you are, you're probably getting a scolding later, and he knows it. "The boy is harmless. He likely won't even apply for that ninja opportunity next year. He'll get so into whatever craft he picks up in the meanwhile that he'll stick with it."
"I could see that." Kakashi agrees, "but why even offer that? You don't normally afford random-walk ins with that much, value."
"Well, Kakashi, you lack certain perspectives that I have. Through no fault of your own, you have lived so much bloodshed with hardly a break, that you fail to see the obvious in front of you. You're too busy looking for a much bigger trick." The Hokage pulls a pipe from his desk, lighting it with a hearty chuckle and admiring the gentle crackle of dried-out tobacco igniting. "A male bloodline without meaningful prior village attachment in any sense - a bloodline from Kirigakure has more stories about how much they hate their home than fondness - has walked into our home begging to be allowed to stay with a cute girl who will grow into a fine young woman someday."
"So you want ice babies?" Kakashi can't help but phrase it keenly.
"Yes Kakashi, I want ice babies." The Hokage admits with a smirk.
"You do realize she's already got two clan heads looking at her out of the corner of their eyes." Kakashi deadpans.
"Harem ending?" The Hokage asks. "Like in Icha Icha seven, the hard decision gone horribly right?"
"Life doesn't work like that." Kakashi groans. "That was a good book though."
"My student's genius aside. The boys have many other targets for their affection as they grow up, and I am sure this Haku will too. It doesn't matter who they make babies with, what matters is that they make babies." The Hokage snickers to himself and takes a puff from his pipe. "The village needs more super-powered babies, I can't be Hokage forever, someone needs to get ridiculously strong and take over."
"You think it'll be Naruto?" Kakashi asks.
"I sure hope not, I hope it's someone who can do it like, next year. If I'm still Hokage this time next year, I am going to start making mock holidays to mess with people… Like, give me ice babies day." He chuckles at that idea, puffing idly. "So now that we're alone in every meaning of the word that matters, give me the real report, that crap you sent in through the official channels didn't even fool the chunin."
"Will that be an issue?" Kakashi asks.
"They know better than to ask questions when the great 'Kakashi Hatake' not so subtly tells them that it's above their paygrade. I still need to know what happened to my cute genin."
"Well it all started when Sakura got bisected by her own sword, or maybe it was when she stepped on that guy's face? I'm not sure they're connected events-"
"So this boy you allowed to live here." It only took about twenty minutes for her parents to calm down enough to allow her to leave her room, and she very quickly finds she regrets doing just that. They sit her down at the table and immediately start asking awkward questions.
At least Haku's nice enough to give her the warm food he'd been messing with. It appears he made a cheese glaze while she was stuck upstairs, that was nice of him. "Haku." She answers. "He saved my life, and in doing so got fired. I offered him a new job and a place to live."
"You get this is our house, right?" Her father can't help but ask. "You can't just offer a place without asking us."
"How was I supposed to ask?" She asks. "I mean, now I know Naruto left a clone here and he probably could have sent a message somehow but at the time, I was a country away and someone had just saved my life."
"Then, don't offer?" Her mother frowns.
"Wasn't an option, saved my life." She repeats. "Fed me too, a lot, he brought quite a few meals out to me while I was working." That said work was mostly walking on water and practicing nonsense Pokemon moves in jutsu form, doesn't need to be said, lest her parents pick that apart."
"Are you being intentionally obtuse?" Mebuki asks bluntly.
"Yes." Sakura nods, enjoying this nicely warmed and cheesified bite. Haku's the best! "But you can't deny you wouldn't have at least wanted to meet him."
"Well yes, but…" Mebuki trails.
Hizashi takes over. "Sakura, if you invite another random boy to live with you without asking us, they'll be taking your room."
"That'd be fine, I barely use it besides gaming and sleeping, I could add another bed pretty easily." Sakura shrugs.
"I mean we'll kick you out." Hizashi asserts, sternly.
"Wha-"
"The first was one thing, you were clearly misunderstanding the issue, and we raised you to have empathy. We weren't going to punish you for making a mistake, but you're an adult now, you make enough money to afford your own apartment, and if you insist on treating our home as a hotel you can do that with your own." Kizashi continues.
"..." It's not often Sakura tears up, she's very good at holding things like that back.
The Academy trained her well. This is one of those times. "So when you say boy." She asks for clarification, softly. "What if I found a homeless girl?"
"I could have a second daughter." Mebuki admits.
"Don't encourage her!" Kizashi is not impressed.
"I can pay Haku's rent." Sakura offers, "I planned to anyway, at least until they're on their feet."
"The fact that you understand how rent works kind of only proves my point." Hizashi says sternly, crossing his arms boldly and glaring her down. He makes her feel like a little girl, but he might have a point here. "Don't, do it, again."
"Now now, I really could use another daughter-"
"We will discuss that in private." Kizashi growls under his breath through grit teeth. "Don't give her room to misinterpret the point, we've been over this, most of the time it's you scolding me about it so I know you get it."
"You're right, sorry." Mebuki sighs with raised hands. "Dumb Daughter Problems First."
"DDPF." Kizashi nods.
PrognosticHannya
Far Too Enthusiastic About Etymology
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I mean Haku could be her daughter.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hiruzen is, very genre savvy.
- Location
- United states
He's kind of two in one.
NexysDhyArchen
Throne Breaker
Does this mean Naruto and Haku would become Brother/Sister genderfluid step siblings to each other via Sakura's family?
Konoha's history is practically 'you can be a genius ninja and incredibly dumb with people' written repeatedly on a giant chalkboard for decades. Not sure if the first to start was Hashirama or Tobirama, but yeah.
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Not to mention that the Hokage himself is one of the deadliest people on the planet. He is getting on in years but you don't get the title 'god of shinobi' by collecting bottle caps.
It says something about them that at no point is there any suggestion that they deny Haku a place to stay. Or that they would refuse to house the next poor unfortunate soul Sakura takes it into her head to adopt. Just that Sakura would be suffering consequences for her actions.
INT and WIS are different stats and you know it.
Sendicard
Writer of Sakura
- Location
- New Mexico, USA
- Pronouns
- YouPick
Also, very important here, "without asking us" has a lot of work in that sentence.
Sendicard
Writer of Sakura
- Location
- New Mexico, USA
- Pronouns
- YouPick
Well, I don't know about any other time but, I've written porn for money for ten years.
I feel like I can make an okay innuendo.
Maybe not great.
Okay.
Passably acceptable.
It's not the joke that matters, it's how you write it, okay?
...Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Naruto get a lot of construction-work done in Wave? I bet that he'd be willing to help construct and co-own a apartment-complex.
At this point I expect that they just carved it into stone to save on material and labor.
Sendicard
Writer of Sakura
- Location
- New Mexico, USA
- Pronouns
- YouPick
I don't know if he got any construction work precisely.
But he did learn how to mine and deal with a quarry and cut stone, which is a pretty similar field.
He learned how to deal with large groups of needy people, and he ran a soup kitchen for a bit. Kinda, not exactly the same but yeah.
He ran a lot of errands.
He coulda done some construction but unless someone could pull a quote I'm gonna say "no" on "has built houses."
Either way, if we wanted to talk job skills Naruto's really wracking them up while Sakura learns valuable skills like "How to consider other people in the conversation" and "the sword goes this way."
I haven't intentionally tried to make her seem stupid but when compared to Mr. thousand minds over there, she's gonna come up a little short on learning technical skills.
I should probably work up some sort of patch so she doesn't get blown over completely, yeah.
Something to think about.
- Pronouns
- SL
I seriously doubt Hiruzen acts like that with anyone but Jiraiya in private.
I guess that I just have seen so many Naruto fic's on the subject that I assumed that Naruto put some work into Wave's bridge.
Precision manufacturing? She's got several Elemental abilities so far and absurd capacity to shape it; she could probably Sakura-Numeric-Control a circuit if she felt like it. Might even be able to thermally sputter or Electrospin some into existence. Maybe she can revive Switch-Chan.
Sendicard
Writer of Sakura
- Location
- New Mexico, USA
- Pronouns
- YouPick
Well that's the beauty of fanfiction, we don't have to agree.
I find the idea that he wouldn't joke around with his previous Anbu Captain absurd. This is a man who spent literal years doing back to back A rank and up missions, not to be useful, or out of patriotism, he'd already done that. He took suicide missions consecutively for exactly that reason. The thought of dying on the next mission made it worth it to live another day so he could take that mission.
Dude's a recursive loop with a broken switch.
For Hiruzen, a man who's been kage more years than Kakashi's been a ninja, watching that fucking guy heal enough to tell a fuckin joke? Makes it all worth it.
I'd be surprised if Hiruzen didn't joke with Kakashi when it's just them and Anbu.
Buuut, you're free to your own opinion. Sorry if smiley Hiruzen ruined the chapter for you, there'll be another chapter on Monday to cheer ya up.
- Pronouns
- SL
It didn't ruin anything. I just find it weird. I picture him as a serious old man like his interactions with Itachi.
Sendicard
Writer of Sakura
- Location
- New Mexico, USA
- Pronouns
- YouPick
I get that.
I remember Hiruzen as we see him in early canon, which is mostly with Naruto. The playful old man that acts a bit like a grandfather. They only get Wave because he's playful with Naruto.
And I feel like that's gonna reflect in how I write him. If that's not wholly accurate... well it's funnier this way, and I have a logical framework for it so, I'm happy. Also he fuckin dies super early in so it's not like there's a thousand canon examples to say I'm wrong.
With clone learning you have three basic options:
1) Remove it. Stories are almost invariably better without that degree of broken OP ability.
2) Actually dangerous backlash. A clone learning any significant amount, or a bunch of clones learning a little, will damage and potentially kill the user. So you can use it for plot critical stuff but have reason for the character to avoid it the vast majority of the time.
3) Memory leak. Memories from the clones are temporary unless the physical Naruto takes the time to integrate them. Spend time thinking about it or using those skills himself, otherwise they fade and are forgotten within a few weeks.
In game design there are two schools of thought: Nerf and Buff.
You could keep Naruto as he is without nerfing him and instead buff Sakura, which is something you've been doing already.
Perhaps a small change to Naruto to slow him down a tiny bit could be that, as Angelform mentioned, keep the backlash of learning everything a clone knows. Shadow Clone was written down in the Forbidden Jutsu collection for a reason. It probably shouldn't happen with shortterm clones but if he keeps one out for weeks then the influx of all those memories should be debilitating, at least for a short time. Perhaps add some sort of cooldown, so Naruto has to heal and recover before he can dispell his next clone or even the Kyubi's chakra can't regenerate his brain anymore.
If you change how Naruto uses Shadow Clones, then you'll go against audience expectations. The fandom has established how this works years ago, a lot of readers might be unhappy with any drastic changes. Also, Naruto naturally isn't that smart. Without outsourcing his trial and error approach to clones he'll never learn Rasengan or similar jutsu. Or at least not in any timeframe to matter.
As to Sakura, she's been getting a raw deal in canon and from most of the fandom for years. I blame Kishimoto for that, the guy kinda sucks at writing women. But also it's the demands of the genre, shonen manga focus on the male protagonist by default, which often reduces the female characters to damsels in distress, targets to seduce/conquer or vehicles for the emotional development of the MC.
It really isn't that difficult to make Sakura stronger by giving her a different mindset or opportunities. Even the canon version eclipsed all the Kage in the end, and she wasted all her time until Tsunade started teaching her. It's just that compared to her teammates she never managed to stand out or was given any significant role beyond being the healer.
A Sakura with a Gamer system has exponential growth already. The system creates quests and challenges for her, gives her rewards etc. Given a bit of time you might have to deal with her overtaking Naruto, especially if you keep the ability to absorb skill books or near instantly learn magic/jutsus from scrolls. Or perhaps allow her to craft stuff to empower herself. Canon Sakura also had this "inner Sakura" which was all the thoughts she never allowed to surface to keep playing the role of a demure girl. I've seen multiple fics in which this became a personality on its own and was able to support Sakura.
There are lots of possibilities to balance Naruto and Sakura. And let's not forget Sasuke. I think my approach would be to give each of them a different area of expertise in which they are better than the others, so they wouldn't compete with each other so much. You already did this for the boss fights in Wave. Naruto spams clones, Sasuke has AoE covered and Sakura is the tank/assassin.