white_rabbit
Shadow Cabal Berserker
Update coming soon, I was waylaid by an unsuccessful attempt to get a good job.
You must bend like a reed in the wind.
Project Ludovico
- Thread starter Athene
- Start date
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You must bend like a reed in the wind.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
" And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the fourth beast said: "Come and see." And I looked, and behold a pale horse. And his name that sat on him was Death. And Hell followed with him. "
The Western! I've talked about Neo-Westerns here before, but I'm going to focus on Western Classic this time. Before Calgary took its place, the heart of the country was Spain. The Dollars Trilogy? Three excellent self contained stories that introduced the gold standard of modern anti-heroes. Once Upon A Time in the West? Perfect, a masterpiece. I'm not going to spill more digital ink talking them up, though I could if not stopped.
Instead, I'm going to talk about my favorite spiritual (heh) sequel to the Dollars Trilogy: Pale Rider. Pale Rider is a merging of classic 50s American Westerns, specifically Shane, and the Italian Spaghetti Western. Plus quite possibly, a bit of the Supernatural as well. The genre or concept, not Dean and Sam.
A group of struggling prospectors find themselves under attack by the hired goons of wealth mining baron Coy LaHood. He wants their land, they want to keep it, and so he's going to force them off by any means necessary. After goons shoot her dog to death, the young Megan Wheeler buries it in the woods while praying to god for someone to kill the men that killed her dog.
As she does, a mysterious stranger on horseback comes over the mountain and heads toward town.
Meanwhile her struggling and stubborn sort of dad Hull goes into town despite everyones protestations. He tells them that he's not going to let them intimidate him. As they beat him for coming into town, the stranger intervenes. Grabbing a mattock handle, he savages them with ease and helps Hull get home with the supplies. There Megan's mom Sarah is furious at Hull for bringing home someone she believes to be a gunfighter. He's about to kick the man out when he discovers two things:
The stranger is a Preacher and he has six exit wounds on his back.
Even as he helps the miners stand up for themselves and make a living, he never talks about his past. He obfuscates or changes the subject. When asked direct, he refuses to answer. The corrupt Marshall for hire says he's heard of someone like him, but that he died years ago. He always appears when he needs to or when Death is being referenced.
Pale Rider is Shane if instead of an ambiguity over whether he died at the end, its whether he ever was alive. You could go either way on the Preacher but I'm a solid vote for Revenant. During the final showdown, instead of the usual Clint Eastwood fast draw, he is methodical. Most of his opponents after he retrieves his gun are more executed than outfought. A gun to the back of the head, a shot out of nowhere as they search for him in desperation. He seems capable of disappearing at will, a force of inexorible vengeance. This isn't normally people die in this kind of movie.
Pale Rider isn't your normal kind of western. Aside from the possible supernatural aspect, its a movie set in the mountains of California. Its cold, mountainous and green. Snow and cold is a constant. The Lahood mining operation is called the rape of nature due to its destructive means as opposed to that of the wildcatters. The land is as beautiful as it is desolate.
As mentioned, this movie is more or less a spiritual sequel to any number of other Clint Eastwood movies and acts as an unofficial final chapter. The Man With No Name has either tried to atone for his past or been struck down because of it, doomed to wander as a revenant.
Either way, violence is inescapable for them.
The Western! I've talked about Neo-Westerns here before, but I'm going to focus on Western Classic this time. Before Calgary took its place, the heart of the country was Spain. The Dollars Trilogy? Three excellent self contained stories that introduced the gold standard of modern anti-heroes. Once Upon A Time in the West? Perfect, a masterpiece. I'm not going to spill more digital ink talking them up, though I could if not stopped.
Instead, I'm going to talk about my favorite spiritual (heh) sequel to the Dollars Trilogy: Pale Rider. Pale Rider is a merging of classic 50s American Westerns, specifically Shane, and the Italian Spaghetti Western. Plus quite possibly, a bit of the Supernatural as well. The genre or concept, not Dean and Sam.
A group of struggling prospectors find themselves under attack by the hired goons of wealth mining baron Coy LaHood. He wants their land, they want to keep it, and so he's going to force them off by any means necessary. After goons shoot her dog to death, the young Megan Wheeler buries it in the woods while praying to god for someone to kill the men that killed her dog.
As she does, a mysterious stranger on horseback comes over the mountain and heads toward town.
Meanwhile her struggling and stubborn sort of dad Hull goes into town despite everyones protestations. He tells them that he's not going to let them intimidate him. As they beat him for coming into town, the stranger intervenes. Grabbing a mattock handle, he savages them with ease and helps Hull get home with the supplies. There Megan's mom Sarah is furious at Hull for bringing home someone she believes to be a gunfighter. He's about to kick the man out when he discovers two things:
The stranger is a Preacher and he has six exit wounds on his back.
Even as he helps the miners stand up for themselves and make a living, he never talks about his past. He obfuscates or changes the subject. When asked direct, he refuses to answer. The corrupt Marshall for hire says he's heard of someone like him, but that he died years ago. He always appears when he needs to or when Death is being referenced.
Pale Rider is Shane if instead of an ambiguity over whether he died at the end, its whether he ever was alive. You could go either way on the Preacher but I'm a solid vote for Revenant. During the final showdown, instead of the usual Clint Eastwood fast draw, he is methodical. Most of his opponents after he retrieves his gun are more executed than outfought. A gun to the back of the head, a shot out of nowhere as they search for him in desperation. He seems capable of disappearing at will, a force of inexorible vengeance. This isn't normally people die in this kind of movie.
Pale Rider isn't your normal kind of western. Aside from the possible supernatural aspect, its a movie set in the mountains of California. Its cold, mountainous and green. Snow and cold is a constant. The Lahood mining operation is called the rape of nature due to its destructive means as opposed to that of the wildcatters. The land is as beautiful as it is desolate.
As mentioned, this movie is more or less a spiritual sequel to any number of other Clint Eastwood movies and acts as an unofficial final chapter. The Man With No Name has either tried to atone for his past or been struck down because of it, doomed to wander as a revenant.
Either way, violence is inescapable for them.
- Location
- Luton Airport
Great as a double feature with High Plains Drifter, Eastwood's role in which can easily be seen as the same entity as in Pale Rider.
Grin_Reaper
Shadow Cabal Space Pirate
- Location
- Space Battleship Pennsylvania
On a pale horse, even.
Indeed. I even remember AMC running them back to back under that premise once.
The movie inspired the "I Know You" side quests of Red Dead Redemption 1.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
How on Earth have I not done the Addams Family?
I've talked about that at so much length online, that I didn't realize I had never sat down and done so formally. I also happen to be completely sick and unable to keep food inside the meat assembly I call a body, and unable to get sleep, I am feeling very gothic at the moment. I'm going to be focusing on the two movies but a lot of the same comments hold true for the TV Show as well.
So! The Addams Family is my second favorite TV\Movie family after the Simpsons (seasons 1-8/9) and one of my favorite couples. The key in short to the Addams Family is this: They do the reverse of whatever society would expect of them. The entire bit behind them is that they are perpendicular to Normal. They don't know what Normal looks like. They wouldn't like it if they did.
But they're so damn nice.
That one keystone joke makes them enjoyable and heroic despite their sordid Family history. See, conflict arises when they interact with The Normal People. The Normal people want them to either conform or are trying to rob them of their considerable wealth. The Addams react to this with general good cheer and often treat it as sport. They treat everyone with respect and kindness despite being a collective of ghouls and murderers.
You know why the Munsters suck and aren't as beloved? Because they have no edge. They're domestic and conformist as fuck despite being actual movie monsters. Instead of dark humor and biting satire, you get jokes about cooking giant eggs and Father Knows Best bullshit. The biggest recurring joke is that the daughter is normal and wuh oh, she brings people home who freak out!
Ugh.
Who wants to see Frankenstein read the stock section? Does anyone want to see that? Young Frankenstein gave their monster more of an edge and they literally performed Putting on the Ritz. Without the edge, they're only unusual looking people.
The Addams Family keeps the edge. The family is filled with brutes, murderers, psychopaths, pioneers. The family credo is " We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Wednesday is always trying to murder her little brother, literally. She leads a revolt at a Thanksgiving play that sees people being roasted. Morticia and Gomez have passionate sex in a graveyard after being turned on by their future decomposition!
Morticia and Gomez are one of the best fictional couples of all time though. Its actually a very loving and healthy relationship. They love each other beyond question but are healthy enough to be able to each have their own interests and hobbies. They're not the battleaxe and henpecked husband you see in so many bad sitcoms. They adore each other. They love every second they're together.
And the sex!
They're actually sex positive. They love having sex. They're open and honest about sex. One of the jokes is that their children have a frank and clear sexual education compared to their peers.
Morticia and Gomez though, they not only have wild, passionate sex but they also have divergent tastes and have no qualms about it. They love whips and chains and red hot pokers. A villain trying to torture her with a rack is confused by the compliments he's getting about his technique. Gomez apparently gave it to Morticia especially rough and "like a wild, unhinged demon". She tells him to do it again. They're a couple that treats their kinks as normal and fine and fuck yeah for it. Morticia talks to a teacher about Wednesdays hero, her great aunt who in colonial times was burned at the stake:
"Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. But don't worry. We've told Wednesday college first."
Oh yeah, they're amazing parents too. They love their kids. Both of them actively engage in parenting. They support and encourage their children in whatever they do. When their baby is cursed with normality, Morticia reads the Cat in the Hat to them. Oh she hates it, but if its what her kid needs?
She'll do it even though she's disappointed the Cat lives.
I mentioned conformity before. On rich vein of humor is their reaction to banal 'normality'. Wednesday Addams clashes with authority when she and her brother are sent to a summer camp for rich kids. The camp counselors sing a little song about how great privilege is and try to crush anyone with a free spirit. They use looped Disney movies as a brainwashing tool. They stage a Thanksgiving play, during summer, where the white, 'pretty' kids get to be Pilgrims. The remaining children who aren't so white or chipper or soccer mom sweater, get to be the Native Americans. The camp counselor praises his own vision and text but Wednesday eviscerates it. "Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities."
She and the other children who were shoved into rolls as Native Americans for not being white or popular or confirmist burn it all down. They fire it up and burn it down after she hijacks the play (after fooling them into thinking their brainwashing worked) to point out how bullshit it is.
"And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."
The Addams Family is a great family in general, but if you're an outsider, they're amazing. They are generally unhindered by society and triumph in the face of efforts to make them Normal. They don't want to be Normal, they don't like Normal, they don't need Normal. They're absolutely happy the way they are and they'll feast on anyone that tries to subdue them. How can you not like that?
I've talked about that at so much length online, that I didn't realize I had never sat down and done so formally. I also happen to be completely sick and unable to keep food inside the meat assembly I call a body, and unable to get sleep, I am feeling very gothic at the moment. I'm going to be focusing on the two movies but a lot of the same comments hold true for the TV Show as well.
So! The Addams Family is my second favorite TV\Movie family after the Simpsons (seasons 1-8/9) and one of my favorite couples. The key in short to the Addams Family is this: They do the reverse of whatever society would expect of them. The entire bit behind them is that they are perpendicular to Normal. They don't know what Normal looks like. They wouldn't like it if they did.
But they're so damn nice.
That one keystone joke makes them enjoyable and heroic despite their sordid Family history. See, conflict arises when they interact with The Normal People. The Normal people want them to either conform or are trying to rob them of their considerable wealth. The Addams react to this with general good cheer and often treat it as sport. They treat everyone with respect and kindness despite being a collective of ghouls and murderers.
You know why the Munsters suck and aren't as beloved? Because they have no edge. They're domestic and conformist as fuck despite being actual movie monsters. Instead of dark humor and biting satire, you get jokes about cooking giant eggs and Father Knows Best bullshit. The biggest recurring joke is that the daughter is normal and wuh oh, she brings people home who freak out!
Ugh.
Who wants to see Frankenstein read the stock section? Does anyone want to see that? Young Frankenstein gave their monster more of an edge and they literally performed Putting on the Ritz. Without the edge, they're only unusual looking people.
The Addams Family keeps the edge. The family is filled with brutes, murderers, psychopaths, pioneers. The family credo is " We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Wednesday is always trying to murder her little brother, literally. She leads a revolt at a Thanksgiving play that sees people being roasted. Morticia and Gomez have passionate sex in a graveyard after being turned on by their future decomposition!
Morticia and Gomez are one of the best fictional couples of all time though. Its actually a very loving and healthy relationship. They love each other beyond question but are healthy enough to be able to each have their own interests and hobbies. They're not the battleaxe and henpecked husband you see in so many bad sitcoms. They adore each other. They love every second they're together.
And the sex!
They're actually sex positive. They love having sex. They're open and honest about sex. One of the jokes is that their children have a frank and clear sexual education compared to their peers.
Morticia and Gomez though, they not only have wild, passionate sex but they also have divergent tastes and have no qualms about it. They love whips and chains and red hot pokers. A villain trying to torture her with a rack is confused by the compliments he's getting about his technique. Gomez apparently gave it to Morticia especially rough and "like a wild, unhinged demon". She tells him to do it again. They're a couple that treats their kinks as normal and fine and fuck yeah for it. Morticia talks to a teacher about Wednesdays hero, her great aunt who in colonial times was burned at the stake:
"Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. But don't worry. We've told Wednesday college first."
Oh yeah, they're amazing parents too. They love their kids. Both of them actively engage in parenting. They support and encourage their children in whatever they do. When their baby is cursed with normality, Morticia reads the Cat in the Hat to them. Oh she hates it, but if its what her kid needs?
She'll do it even though she's disappointed the Cat lives.
I mentioned conformity before. On rich vein of humor is their reaction to banal 'normality'. Wednesday Addams clashes with authority when she and her brother are sent to a summer camp for rich kids. The camp counselors sing a little song about how great privilege is and try to crush anyone with a free spirit. They use looped Disney movies as a brainwashing tool. They stage a Thanksgiving play, during summer, where the white, 'pretty' kids get to be Pilgrims. The remaining children who aren't so white or chipper or soccer mom sweater, get to be the Native Americans. The camp counselor praises his own vision and text but Wednesday eviscerates it. "Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities."
She and the other children who were shoved into rolls as Native Americans for not being white or popular or confirmist burn it all down. They fire it up and burn it down after she hijacks the play (after fooling them into thinking their brainwashing worked) to point out how bullshit it is.
"And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."
The Addams Family is a great family in general, but if you're an outsider, they're amazing. They are generally unhindered by society and triumph in the face of efforts to make them Normal. They don't want to be Normal, they don't like Normal, they don't need Normal. They're absolutely happy the way they are and they'll feast on anyone that tries to subdue them. How can you not like that?
AKuz
Been Better
- Location
- A Rising Tide of Horrors
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Huh, I never realised that that was where the lyrics were sampled from:
- Location
- Luton Airport
I regret only that I have but one like to give!
Night_stalker
Slava Ukraini!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hell, apparently TV Guide back in 1994 had a contest, Mortifica and
Screw it, let me quote TV Tropes on the matter:
Given how perpendicular to Normal they are in everything else, this is a rather sad statement on and damning indictment of most relationships.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Like Imrix said, I think its like, an indictment on popular romance in shows.
Like, this might segue off into a mini essay here. But let's talk about Marge and Homer Simpson.
They're a co-dependent couple with deep, unresolved issues. They're not supposed to be the perfect couple. People forget how subversive The Simpsons was in its first glorious (I stick by 8 or 9*) years. They were part of a wave of dysfunctional sitcoms that undercut the sappy, traditional sitcoms around them. The actual president of the United States condemned them in a speech, saying that we needed more Walton Family than Simpsons. The writing was sharp as fuck, subversive and loved to deconstruct or just fuck with expectations. A long running joke in the Mirkin years was setting up a traditional payoff like you'd see on most shows. Then, instead of doing that, they would swerve towards cruel and realistic.
They called these 'Fuck the Audience' moments. While its known for going big, it was often the minutia of life that were its greatest moments. Realism was something that gave it character. The writers (the best team ever assembled) had grown up with all this TV in their lives but with normal, fallible parents. They wanted a TV family that was closer to what they were used to and they inserted a lot of that into the show. A lot of dumb homer moments are based on real things that happened to the writers or their family. So underneath a very cynical satire, you have a focus on making very real characters. You may wonder what that has to do with romance but I'll tell you.
Marge Simpson finds Homer sexually attractive. They have an active sex life. There are a ton of references to the fact that they have a normal yet taboo for TV sex life. Marge lists off things she does only because Homer likes it and ends it with "And something I'll tell you about when you're older." They subvert the entire chaste couple and stereotypical TV show couple dynamic of "Always horny guy, never horny woman". There's all sorts of signs around the edges about how much sex they have. Turns out they both have needs! They even have an exhibitionist streak. Now all this can change thanks to the shows flexible reality, but its generally a constant that they're sexually active. When they aren't having as much sex, its presented as an actual problem that they need to fix. The Status Quo for other shows is an actual problem for them. They care about their sexual health!
They're an extremely flawed but very loving couple. Homer does stuff because he's stupid but when he messes up, he cares about her feelings. When Milhouse's parents divorce, Homer misreads the state of his marriage and overdoes it trying to appreciate Marge more. He ultimately gives her a second, proper wedding. Why? Because their first was a truck stop casino wedding after he accidentally got her pregnant and he wants better for her. The writers cared about making sure it was clear that they should be together. Well, until Jerkass Homer was born.
But its ultimately its more human, realistic focus that makes it a great romance. They're fallible human beings with their own issues and baggage. However, they work on making their relationship work and the romantic moments are always the highlight of the show. Do you know how much so?
When I was first dating DissMech, she wasn't as confident in herself and her own value as a partner. So I would hold her tight and sing Close to You to her, a song that I know by heart, and would make her feel better. Why do I have Close to You memorized? Well, I memorize songs easily. But why did that one instantly come to mind?
It's Homer and Marge's Song.
I'm not going to hold them up as some perfect couple, but by TV standards they're a realistic and loving. Homer is not an attractive man but Marge is attracted to him and there is a mutual devotion. They're an amazing couple by TV standards.
*AV Club puts it best: The 9th season was the boundary between great and good with diminishing returns after that.
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Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Help I could write ten thousand words on the Simpsons' Golden Age. Like Marge being a talented and intelligent woman crushed by societal norms with Lisa being threatened by the same.
There is just so much to talk about.
There is just so much to talk about.
CompassJimbo
Where’s Your North?
- Location
- The former Rubber Capital of the World
Split it by topic and turn it into a series of mini-essays?
AKuz
Been Better
- Location
- A Rising Tide of Horrors
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Go ahead!
This sort of thinh is what I give you 12 something a month for > : V
Night_stalker
Slava Ukraini!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Yeah, but given they're up to 616 episodes, that's a full time gig.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I can do the first 225 completely from memory
Going to do it by season, going from 2-10 AKA the ones I actually bought, finishing Dissmech up on the remaining episodes in season 2.
CompassJimbo
Where’s Your North?
- Location
- The former Rubber Capital of the World
Classic Simpsons is a gift upon mankind. Even now the old episodes are still hilarious. A shame they kept the show longer than they should have and drove it into the ground as a result.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The Simpsons' second season is a very different beast than the rest of the show. It is for lack of a better term "wordy". See, the show was breaking new ground in prime time animation. Shows like the Simpsons and Duck Tales were asking "What if we don't make this look like dog shit?". Duck Tales was made for syndication because it was just a matter of time to make the money back but the Simpsons didn't have that luxury. It was on in a prime time slot and had to perform well enough to justify its existence on a network with tighter margins.
It did very good for its time but the animation wasn't quite there yet and there seemed to be a reluctance to rely on it. The jokes tend to be way more verbal and often lack brevity, though with an all star team of writers on board, they remain sharp as fuck. There's a greater focus on class structure and the Simpsons' place in it during the 2nd season. The Simpson family is not doing particularly well and they know it. Class is a constant source of conflict and tension for them. The initial conflict with Flanders is that he's doing better than Homer and has things too perfect. They're also not a particularly Sitcom family, which ranged from "Everyone gets along" to "Stop please, I'm a diabetic". The show was in a new wave of subversive shows like Married with Children, Seinfeld and Get a Life. (Don't worry if you haven't heard of that last one, but it will come up later.) As I mentioned before, the show was controversial and got into a brief Feud with President George H. W. Bush during the third season.
"The next value I speak of must be forever cast in stone. I speak of decency, the moral courage to say what is right and condemn what's wrong, and we need a nation closer to the Waltons than the Simpsons. An America that rejects the incivility, the tide of incivility and the tide of intolerance"
Shots fired. I'll talk about that next Season but it was an incredibly controversial show for showing a dysfunctional family. I wasn't allowed to watch it because it was about "rude children" but my parents would have hated it at this point because of where its sympathies lay. The 2nd season isn't as complete a show as it would become but the writing was razor sharp and had more heart than any of the saccharine blah fests on TV.
It would be time intensive to discuss every episode moving forward, as there are 22-24 per season. Instead I will focus on a handful of episodes that I feel best represent the show each season. The winners circle that reveals its humor, heart and sensibilities.
Lisa's Substitute
People feel that she got preachier over time, but Lisa Simpson has always been close to the heart of the show from the beginning. She is the soft spoken, caring intellectual, rejected by her peers as she battles society and her place in it. However, she wasn't quite the character she would become yet. She was a little more immature, a lot less outspoken and not as comfortable as who she was. This is the episode where Lisa really becomes Lisa.
Miss Hoover is everyone's shittiest teacher. She lacks the character of Krabappel, who still somewhat cares as a teacher despite her life of lonely desperation. No, Miss Hoover doesn't give a shit and has never given a shit. She doesn't challenge or inspire her students, because that would require caring and effort. So when she's diagnosed with Lyme disease, she's replaced by the substitute teacher, Mr Bergstrom.
Bergstrom is from the moment he is introduced, the perfect teacher. He starts the class by challenging the class to find the three things wrong with his 1830s cowboy costume. When nobody responds, he says that they'll get to keep his hat if they can do it. Lisa sheepishly answers:
1. He's wearing a State of Texas belt buckle before Texas was a state
2. He's wearing revolvers that haven't been invented yet.
3. He appears to be Jewish ("Are you sure I'm Jewish?" "That or Italian" "I'm Jewish") and there were no Jewish cowboys.
He accepts that answer, though would also have accepted "and I'm wearing a digital watch." while informing the class that "there were a few Jewish cowboys, ladies and gentlemen. Big guys who were great shots and spent money freely."
He's a fantastic teacher that tells every student that they each have a special talent, and works hard to engage with them. He tries to get Lisa to play her Saxophone but she begs him not to make her do it in front of people, and he relents. He watches her with a sense of pride as she plays her Sax by herself on the playground after school. Lisa develops a crush on him, because he's like nobody she's ever known in her dejected existence.
He asks her one day if her father helps her with her homework because it's always so neat and she reveals her deep discontent with her father. Bergstrom actually engages with her as a person. He tells her that she'll go places that everyone else can only dream of. He realizes her father isn't being a good role model to her and tries to have a heart to heart with him about it:
" I've noticed that Lisa seems to feel she has no strong male role model. "
"She said that?"
"Well no, she didn't say it but, you know, she- "
" She looks around and sees everybody else's dad with a good education, youthful looks, and a clean credit record, and thinks, ``Why me? What did I do to deserve this fat old piece of-"
"Mr Simpson you need to be a bigger man! There is a wonderful girl's future at stake here."
"Well, if she's so wonderful, give her an A!"
"I am giving her an A."
"Great, but don't tell her it was a favor to me. Tell her she earned it."
"Mr. Simpson, she did earn it."
"You are smooth, I'll give you that."
When Lisa tries to invite him to their place for dinner at school the next day, Ms Hoover is back, as her illness was all in psychosomatic. Lisa is crushed as Ms Hoover complains that he didn't touch her lesson plan and asks what he taught them.
"That life was worth living."
She finds him at a train station where he tells her that he's leaving to go to teach in the projects of Capital City. She says that she'll never have a teacher as good as him and he agrees that well, yes, he is an amazing teacher, but gives her a note. He tells her that whenever she feels alone or that she doesn't have anyone to rely on, to just remember what it says.
;-;
She gets into an argument with her father later when he doesn't show interest in her sadness, and she runs off to her room. Marge tells him that he needs to make it right and he goes up to her room. He tells her that he never lost anyone special because all the people he cares about are under his roof. He tells her she's going to go far and be in special places where the only people like him she's going to see are "serving the drinks". He capers around and cheers her up, because he ultimately actually loves her very much, even if he doesn't understand her. Homer isn't a great father, he is in fact a terrible father, but before he was Jerkass Homer, he still cared.
The B plot is less heavy though awfully apropos. Martin and Bart are running against each other for class president. Martin is running a fact and policy based campaign. Bart is going for the lowest common denominator and saying whatever riles up the mob.
Yeah, I know.
Martin keeps trying to compete, telling the class that a state inspector found unsafe levels of asbestos in the air. Bart meanwhile says they need more asbestos before leading everyone in a chant of "More asbestos! More Asbestos! USA! USA!"
Bart yells that Martin is saying there are no easy answers, which means he's not trying hard enough. Martin puts up posters warning that a vote for Bart is a vote for Anarchy, while Bart puts up posters assuring voters that a vote for Bart is a vote for Anarchy. By the end Martin is haggard and fatigued under Bart's onslaught but Bart is foiled when everyone forgets to vote. Martin and Wendell cast the only votes, which means that Martin has a hundred percent of the vote as Ms Krabappel rubs it in with recounts.
Boy wouldn't that have been nice?
Good old Flanders. When he was introduced, he was the guy Homer hated because he was better than him and not even hatable for it. Ned is moderately successful, has a better relationship with his family, has greater material wealth and is even more pious. Worse still, he's unflappably nice and a perfect neighbor. This drives Homer insane and he becomes infuriated when Ned in his good nature shows Homer his rec room. He genuinely wants Homer to enjoy it and the fine imported craft beer that he has on tap, but Homer blows up on him.
Ned is such a nice guy that when Homer finally makes him mad, he feels bad about it. However Homer won't let it lie and eventually they do battle by proxy through their sons and a miniature golf tournament. Homer demands a contract and Ned's dislike of the use of "The father of the loser" makes the contract read "The father of the son that doesn't win" whens stipulating who has to mow whose lawn in their wife's sunday dress. When their pressure on their sons causes them to both quit at the 18th hole, they both have to follow through. Ned has a blast though, saying it reminds him of his wild and crazy college days.
RIP Cool Flanders. When the show moved away from class issues to society in general, he became more of a stick in the mud fundamentalist. Over time it got more and more extreme like all other character traits, but he didn't get as nasty during the golden age. It worked well as a parody that you couldn't hate, because he remained so god damn nice.
Also the episode gave every smart ass kid an answer to "what is the sound of one hand clapping" during Lisa's training. She was effective while Homer's "stare at a photo of your opponent while visualizing how much you hate them" approach didn't yield results.
Its a fun episode.
You know, I'm going to collect all the flashback episodes during these years into one review since it gives a timeline of their relationship but suffice to say, this episode is heartwarming as hell.
Later retcons can fuck off, of course.
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish.
This is the episode that postulates a corrupt, evil billionaire running against an intelligent policy based-YEAH, TRUMP/CLINTON AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.
*clears throat*
This episode covers a lot of the same ground as Martin and Bart running against each other but with actual stakes. After his power plant spawns a 3 eyed mutant fish, the state investigates Mr Burns operation. It doesn't go well.
The inspector doesn't have the common courtesy to accept the rather large cash bribe ("I'm going to overlook this felony'), and he racks up $60M in fees. While stumbling around drunk, he runs into Homer who accidentally plants the idea of running for governor against Mary Bailey in his head and he goes for it. Mary Bailey says that while Burns believes the voters are gullible fools, she prefers to rely on their intelligence and good. Burns and his team have a different strategy:
"BUT HER EMAILS"
Burns manages to score higher than her in the polls thanks to flim-flam and empty promises (TOO SOON?!), despite initial polling having 98% of people rate him "Dispicable or worse". He portrays Blinky as an evolved super fish and convinces people that the government needs to butt out. Homer agrees, saying that Marge probably didn't even know how many eyes a fish was supposed to have until the media blew it out of proportion.
The night before the election as Homer allows burns to campaign with them at a staged dinner. The family, including Lisa, is pressed to make flattering remarks and read perpared soft ball questions. Marge is having none of it though, and sabotages the dinner by serving up Blinky to Mr Burns live on TV, destroying his political aspirations.
Marge and her convictions really get a chance to shine here. Other shows in the season show that before she was crushed by society, she was a skilled painter and idealistic feminist. Here she gets to show a spark of that with her support of Mary Bailey and subversive opposition to Mr Burns. She loathes being told what to do.
An episode that goes the other way with Marge, but I have some other episodes I want to pair this with later. In short though, she gets on her high horse about cartoon violence but ultimately abandons it when people expect her to take a stand on other forms of "vile expression".
I'm merging these two to talk about them briefly, because they have the same plot: Homer sees a way out of their social class via exploiting Mr Burns with Bart. In the former, Mr Burns slightly injures Bart with a car and Lionel Hutz literally chases the ambulance down to try to build a trumped up lawsuit. This introduces Hutz and 'Dr' Nick Riviera. Its an amusing take on nuisance lawsuits, with nobody in the right, but Marge's commitment to honesty ruins the case, causing them to almost break up.
Blood Feud has Burns dying if he doesn't get a blood donation for his ultra rare blood type that only Bart has. Homer pushes Bart to do it in the expectation of lavious rewards but is infuriated when he only gets a thank you card. Marge feels that saving someone's life is its own reward but Homer writes an angry letter to Mr Burns. Marge convinces him to throw it away but Bart has already sent it because he felt Homer would chicken out. It doesn't go well for Homer but Burns has a change of heart after Smithers refuses to have the man who saved his life violently beaten. Unfortunately for Homer, the very expensive gift is very useless. They try to figure out the meaning of these events but come to the conclusion that ultimately there was nothing to learn from it.
These episodes and others view the lower class of the Simpsons as being inescapable for Homer. He's very much aware of this and barring some windfall, he's probably going no higher than he is right now. This became less of a focus as the series progressed but it was one of the central theme of the 2nd season. They're a highly imperfect, messed up family. One that is closer to what the viewer might be used to than the too perfect TV families of the time.
Oh and the villain frequently wins.
Next is the third season! The season where it "Got Gud" and is a weird midpoint between 3 and 4.
It did very good for its time but the animation wasn't quite there yet and there seemed to be a reluctance to rely on it. The jokes tend to be way more verbal and often lack brevity, though with an all star team of writers on board, they remain sharp as fuck. There's a greater focus on class structure and the Simpsons' place in it during the 2nd season. The Simpson family is not doing particularly well and they know it. Class is a constant source of conflict and tension for them. The initial conflict with Flanders is that he's doing better than Homer and has things too perfect. They're also not a particularly Sitcom family, which ranged from "Everyone gets along" to "Stop please, I'm a diabetic". The show was in a new wave of subversive shows like Married with Children, Seinfeld and Get a Life. (Don't worry if you haven't heard of that last one, but it will come up later.) As I mentioned before, the show was controversial and got into a brief Feud with President George H. W. Bush during the third season.
"The next value I speak of must be forever cast in stone. I speak of decency, the moral courage to say what is right and condemn what's wrong, and we need a nation closer to the Waltons than the Simpsons. An America that rejects the incivility, the tide of incivility and the tide of intolerance"
Shots fired. I'll talk about that next Season but it was an incredibly controversial show for showing a dysfunctional family. I wasn't allowed to watch it because it was about "rude children" but my parents would have hated it at this point because of where its sympathies lay. The 2nd season isn't as complete a show as it would become but the writing was razor sharp and had more heart than any of the saccharine blah fests on TV.
It would be time intensive to discuss every episode moving forward, as there are 22-24 per season. Instead I will focus on a handful of episodes that I feel best represent the show each season. The winners circle that reveals its humor, heart and sensibilities.
Lisa's Substitute
People feel that she got preachier over time, but Lisa Simpson has always been close to the heart of the show from the beginning. She is the soft spoken, caring intellectual, rejected by her peers as she battles society and her place in it. However, she wasn't quite the character she would become yet. She was a little more immature, a lot less outspoken and not as comfortable as who she was. This is the episode where Lisa really becomes Lisa.
Miss Hoover is everyone's shittiest teacher. She lacks the character of Krabappel, who still somewhat cares as a teacher despite her life of lonely desperation. No, Miss Hoover doesn't give a shit and has never given a shit. She doesn't challenge or inspire her students, because that would require caring and effort. So when she's diagnosed with Lyme disease, she's replaced by the substitute teacher, Mr Bergstrom.
Bergstrom is from the moment he is introduced, the perfect teacher. He starts the class by challenging the class to find the three things wrong with his 1830s cowboy costume. When nobody responds, he says that they'll get to keep his hat if they can do it. Lisa sheepishly answers:
1. He's wearing a State of Texas belt buckle before Texas was a state
2. He's wearing revolvers that haven't been invented yet.
3. He appears to be Jewish ("Are you sure I'm Jewish?" "That or Italian" "I'm Jewish") and there were no Jewish cowboys.
He accepts that answer, though would also have accepted "and I'm wearing a digital watch." while informing the class that "there were a few Jewish cowboys, ladies and gentlemen. Big guys who were great shots and spent money freely."
He's a fantastic teacher that tells every student that they each have a special talent, and works hard to engage with them. He tries to get Lisa to play her Saxophone but she begs him not to make her do it in front of people, and he relents. He watches her with a sense of pride as she plays her Sax by herself on the playground after school. Lisa develops a crush on him, because he's like nobody she's ever known in her dejected existence.
He asks her one day if her father helps her with her homework because it's always so neat and she reveals her deep discontent with her father. Bergstrom actually engages with her as a person. He tells her that she'll go places that everyone else can only dream of. He realizes her father isn't being a good role model to her and tries to have a heart to heart with him about it:
" I've noticed that Lisa seems to feel she has no strong male role model. "
"She said that?"
"Well no, she didn't say it but, you know, she- "
" She looks around and sees everybody else's dad with a good education, youthful looks, and a clean credit record, and thinks, ``Why me? What did I do to deserve this fat old piece of-"
"Mr Simpson you need to be a bigger man! There is a wonderful girl's future at stake here."
"Well, if she's so wonderful, give her an A!"
"I am giving her an A."
"Great, but don't tell her it was a favor to me. Tell her she earned it."
"Mr. Simpson, she did earn it."
"You are smooth, I'll give you that."
When Lisa tries to invite him to their place for dinner at school the next day, Ms Hoover is back, as her illness was all in psychosomatic. Lisa is crushed as Ms Hoover complains that he didn't touch her lesson plan and asks what he taught them.
"That life was worth living."
She finds him at a train station where he tells her that he's leaving to go to teach in the projects of Capital City. She says that she'll never have a teacher as good as him and he agrees that well, yes, he is an amazing teacher, but gives her a note. He tells her that whenever she feels alone or that she doesn't have anyone to rely on, to just remember what it says.
;-;
She gets into an argument with her father later when he doesn't show interest in her sadness, and she runs off to her room. Marge tells him that he needs to make it right and he goes up to her room. He tells her that he never lost anyone special because all the people he cares about are under his roof. He tells her she's going to go far and be in special places where the only people like him she's going to see are "serving the drinks". He capers around and cheers her up, because he ultimately actually loves her very much, even if he doesn't understand her. Homer isn't a great father, he is in fact a terrible father, but before he was Jerkass Homer, he still cared.
The B plot is less heavy though awfully apropos. Martin and Bart are running against each other for class president. Martin is running a fact and policy based campaign. Bart is going for the lowest common denominator and saying whatever riles up the mob.
Yeah, I know.
Martin keeps trying to compete, telling the class that a state inspector found unsafe levels of asbestos in the air. Bart meanwhile says they need more asbestos before leading everyone in a chant of "More asbestos! More Asbestos! USA! USA!"
Bart yells that Martin is saying there are no easy answers, which means he's not trying hard enough. Martin puts up posters warning that a vote for Bart is a vote for Anarchy, while Bart puts up posters assuring voters that a vote for Bart is a vote for Anarchy. By the end Martin is haggard and fatigued under Bart's onslaught but Bart is foiled when everyone forgets to vote. Martin and Wendell cast the only votes, which means that Martin has a hundred percent of the vote as Ms Krabappel rubs it in with recounts.
Boy wouldn't that have been nice?
Dead Putting Society.
Good old Flanders. When he was introduced, he was the guy Homer hated because he was better than him and not even hatable for it. Ned is moderately successful, has a better relationship with his family, has greater material wealth and is even more pious. Worse still, he's unflappably nice and a perfect neighbor. This drives Homer insane and he becomes infuriated when Ned in his good nature shows Homer his rec room. He genuinely wants Homer to enjoy it and the fine imported craft beer that he has on tap, but Homer blows up on him.
Ned is such a nice guy that when Homer finally makes him mad, he feels bad about it. However Homer won't let it lie and eventually they do battle by proxy through their sons and a miniature golf tournament. Homer demands a contract and Ned's dislike of the use of "The father of the loser" makes the contract read "The father of the son that doesn't win" whens stipulating who has to mow whose lawn in their wife's sunday dress. When their pressure on their sons causes them to both quit at the 18th hole, they both have to follow through. Ned has a blast though, saying it reminds him of his wild and crazy college days.
RIP Cool Flanders. When the show moved away from class issues to society in general, he became more of a stick in the mud fundamentalist. Over time it got more and more extreme like all other character traits, but he didn't get as nasty during the golden age. It worked well as a parody that you couldn't hate, because he remained so god damn nice.
Also the episode gave every smart ass kid an answer to "what is the sound of one hand clapping" during Lisa's training. She was effective while Homer's "stare at a photo of your opponent while visualizing how much you hate them" approach didn't yield results.
Its a fun episode.
The Way We Was
You know, I'm going to collect all the flashback episodes during these years into one review since it gives a timeline of their relationship but suffice to say, this episode is heartwarming as hell.
Later retcons can fuck off, of course.
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish.
This is the episode that postulates a corrupt, evil billionaire running against an intelligent policy based-YEAH, TRUMP/CLINTON AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.
*clears throat*
This episode covers a lot of the same ground as Martin and Bart running against each other but with actual stakes. After his power plant spawns a 3 eyed mutant fish, the state investigates Mr Burns operation. It doesn't go well.
The inspector doesn't have the common courtesy to accept the rather large cash bribe ("I'm going to overlook this felony'), and he racks up $60M in fees. While stumbling around drunk, he runs into Homer who accidentally plants the idea of running for governor against Mary Bailey in his head and he goes for it. Mary Bailey says that while Burns believes the voters are gullible fools, she prefers to rely on their intelligence and good. Burns and his team have a different strategy:
"BUT HER EMAILS"
Burns manages to score higher than her in the polls thanks to flim-flam and empty promises (TOO SOON?!), despite initial polling having 98% of people rate him "Dispicable or worse". He portrays Blinky as an evolved super fish and convinces people that the government needs to butt out. Homer agrees, saying that Marge probably didn't even know how many eyes a fish was supposed to have until the media blew it out of proportion.
The night before the election as Homer allows burns to campaign with them at a staged dinner. The family, including Lisa, is pressed to make flattering remarks and read perpared soft ball questions. Marge is having none of it though, and sabotages the dinner by serving up Blinky to Mr Burns live on TV, destroying his political aspirations.
Marge and her convictions really get a chance to shine here. Other shows in the season show that before she was crushed by society, she was a skilled painter and idealistic feminist. Here she gets to show a spark of that with her support of Mary Bailey and subversive opposition to Mr Burns. She loathes being told what to do.
Itchy and Scratchy vs Marge
An episode that goes the other way with Marge, but I have some other episodes I want to pair this with later. In short though, she gets on her high horse about cartoon violence but ultimately abandons it when people expect her to take a stand on other forms of "vile expression".
Bart Gets Hit By A Car/Blood Fued
I'm merging these two to talk about them briefly, because they have the same plot: Homer sees a way out of their social class via exploiting Mr Burns with Bart. In the former, Mr Burns slightly injures Bart with a car and Lionel Hutz literally chases the ambulance down to try to build a trumped up lawsuit. This introduces Hutz and 'Dr' Nick Riviera. Its an amusing take on nuisance lawsuits, with nobody in the right, but Marge's commitment to honesty ruins the case, causing them to almost break up.
Blood Feud has Burns dying if he doesn't get a blood donation for his ultra rare blood type that only Bart has. Homer pushes Bart to do it in the expectation of lavious rewards but is infuriated when he only gets a thank you card. Marge feels that saving someone's life is its own reward but Homer writes an angry letter to Mr Burns. Marge convinces him to throw it away but Bart has already sent it because he felt Homer would chicken out. It doesn't go well for Homer but Burns has a change of heart after Smithers refuses to have the man who saved his life violently beaten. Unfortunately for Homer, the very expensive gift is very useless. They try to figure out the meaning of these events but come to the conclusion that ultimately there was nothing to learn from it.
These episodes and others view the lower class of the Simpsons as being inescapable for Homer. He's very much aware of this and barring some windfall, he's probably going no higher than he is right now. This became less of a focus as the series progressed but it was one of the central theme of the 2nd season. They're a highly imperfect, messed up family. One that is closer to what the viewer might be used to than the too perfect TV families of the time.
Oh and the villain frequently wins.
Next is the third season! The season where it "Got Gud" and is a weird midpoint between 3 and 4.
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