Chapter Twelve: There is no Kill like Overkill
Glitchrr36
Slick's Short Company, CEO
- Location
- The Wastes
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Bit of a timeskip because I was getting tired of writing "I do what amounts to nothing for three chapters." Only a month or so this time.
The housing units had been redesigned somewhat. They were now different boxes, with a little hallway and an elevator shaft for improved modularity. If I wanted, I could have the elevator shaft turn into a hallway, allowing an endless combination of patterns, like LEGO pieces. They included everything a human could need, including internet access.
I did the elevator/hallway redesign because I realized I put one entrance on them, which in most cases was inaccessible from the ground. I am obviously the smartest commander. None shall match my genius. I'm also being completely sarcastic.
In a broader sense, the only reason I was building these, starting in Hong Kong, was to spite the Precursors, and, to a lesser extent, the apocalypse cult douches. The former was achieved through removing all trace of what they had accomplished, the later because I was spelling out "kiju eet dix luls" with the bones.
In other news, Jupiter was going well these days, and gave me an excuse to work on some stuff for orbital redesigns I had been meaning to get around to for what had been roughly a year at this point, spent slogging through the internet, stealing classified information, being bored, and making minor updates to some things, like improving sensor compactness and such.
But that all had to wait, for there was a kaiju set to Breach in about 45 minutes, and I wanted to fight it. Commandant Boredom was finally going to get a field test, since even my advanced stealth systems would be unable to hide its weapons discharge, which might be able to be seen from orbit with a MK1 eyeball.
I activated the mech, prepped it for being loaded into a transport...that it won't fit in. Shit. I'll have to make new ones. Ok, quick design: Bigger version of the Pelican, add a more powerful drive, larger transport clamp, add a spool of cable for large object carrying, more engines, done. I'll call it the albatros. Build eight, which is the minimum needed to lift my precious murderbot of uberdeath, and drag it over to the tip of argentina, where no one lives. Then I wait for the bug. Fish. Lizard. Alien. Fuckit, the kaiju. I'm bad at giving things nicknames.
=====================================================================
It wasn't as ugly as the last one, though it had a weird bulkiness to it, like it was wearing a sweater. It was lumpy, and I couldn't get a good look at it as it ran into the mines. The brilliant flashes of light illuminated the darkness, leaving the lumpiness shattered as it swam out. Once it cleared the Breach, and didn't get blasted by torpedoes, it started twitching violently, and the lumpiness, which I now realized was ablative armor against the mines, sloughed off in great chunks, revealing a face only a Geiszler could love. Sweet Drich what the fuck was up with that. It looked like someone punched it and just compressed the face into an itty bitty point at the back of the throat. Or a graboid made, hot, passionate Wal-mart sex to the monster from Cloverfield and dipped the resulting terror baby in that fucking color flour.
And it is swimming off like a paraplegic seal. Were they high on soap or something when they made this bastard? GODDAMN IT SDFYT'LECTHI'ARV'SCVI'NOF I TOLD YOU TO JUST SAY NO!
It appears to be going toward Russia, probably like canon. Okhotsk or Vladivostok or something. Wait. Does this mean I get to have my pride and joy mech deploy along with Cherno, best Jaeger? You can't tell, but I'm squeeing somewhere on the inside.
So they are calling it Raythe. Weird name but it beats "my face is too small and my forehead has teeth," or "hot graboid on cloverfield action result numero uno." Luckily, he gets to be erased from the surface of the Earth pretty soon, by either my superior firepower or Cherno's RUSSIA STRONK. I'm not sure at this point. I'm hoping it's the first one, because the thing just being shot to hell would please me immensely.
Do di do, moving my Jaeger with stealth on over to where it looks like it is going to arrive for a fun surprise di do di.
=====================================================================
Kaiju take a while to make land. I've been sitting here, waiting for a few hours for it to make it to the Miracle Mile. Cherno is en route to intercept. And I drop Commandant about three miles ahead of Cherno, and unstealth. Wonder what that burst of comms chatter was?
"<What the shit is that and where did it come from!?>" The Kaidonovskys are surprised. And everyone loves surprises, right?
"<Looks like a Jaeger. If I had to guess, it's that Glitch bastard who keeps showing up and doing things that throw everything into chaos. Try hailing it, see if it responds.>"
"<Understood, Marshal.>" They send a ping towards my utterly gigantic now that I think about it robot. "<Who are you and why have you deployed here? There is only a CAT II kaiju, no need for multiple JAeger deployment.>" Sasha seems to do most of the talking. I think her husband is just there to look intimidating.
"<This is Glitch, I'm here because I built this a few months ago and wanted to see how it does against a kaiju outside of a simulation, and get some data on several of my less tested weapons systems. I'll let you have the kill after that. It'll only take one salvo.>"
<..Fine. But one salvo only. USe whatever you need, softening it up for us means less damage to armor and deploying sooner!>" Well, they seem a bit unhinged.
"<Thanks.>"
And then Raythe emerged, ugly as ever. And I locked all possible weapons on it, and fired.
I had set up the algorithms earlier. Range, speed of projectiles/energy, necessary course alteration. All so that everything hit at the same time. The missiles went first, a full second before the next slowest battery, all of those battleship grade cannons, fired. Then the Ubercasters and Dox "Lasers," which were more like a blast of electrons now that I've looked into them, and finally the massive railcannons in the shoulders and hands.
The world is a symphony of light and sound. Dozens of colors of light streak out from my Jaeger, from the red of my electron guns, the green and spirally followed by brilliant red/white as the atmosphere surrounding the shot is pushed away and then combusts from the speed and friction, the yellow and smoke trailing the missiles, and the orange behind the smaller railgun shots. The sound is as varied, from the hiss of plasma, to the roar of the Ares class guns, to the hiss of whine of missiles closing in on target, and the hellish, shrieking roar of the orbital grade weaponry being fired in atmosphere. So powerful that I can only comprehend with my sensors. And what I'm comprehending is not making that much sense. The kaiju is gone, at the instant I hit it. Can it teleport or something?
As I move over to where the smoke and steam is billowing from, I peer through it towards the ocean floor.
And find a pair of hands, and a pair of feet, cleanly ended a few meters below the waterline, trailing kaiju blue from cauterized stumps. The rest of the kaiju starts to rain down upon me in chunks, sizzling from the heat. A bit of skull dings of the Pauldrons.
"<Well that was unexpected. I may have used too much gun for this situation.>"
"<You think?>" Aleksis this time. First time I've heard him speak.
The housing units had been redesigned somewhat. They were now different boxes, with a little hallway and an elevator shaft for improved modularity. If I wanted, I could have the elevator shaft turn into a hallway, allowing an endless combination of patterns, like LEGO pieces. They included everything a human could need, including internet access.
I did the elevator/hallway redesign because I realized I put one entrance on them, which in most cases was inaccessible from the ground. I am obviously the smartest commander. None shall match my genius. I'm also being completely sarcastic.
In a broader sense, the only reason I was building these, starting in Hong Kong, was to spite the Precursors, and, to a lesser extent, the apocalypse cult douches. The former was achieved through removing all trace of what they had accomplished, the later because I was spelling out "kiju eet dix luls" with the bones.
In other news, Jupiter was going well these days, and gave me an excuse to work on some stuff for orbital redesigns I had been meaning to get around to for what had been roughly a year at this point, spent slogging through the internet, stealing classified information, being bored, and making minor updates to some things, like improving sensor compactness and such.
But that all had to wait, for there was a kaiju set to Breach in about 45 minutes, and I wanted to fight it. Commandant Boredom was finally going to get a field test, since even my advanced stealth systems would be unable to hide its weapons discharge, which might be able to be seen from orbit with a MK1 eyeball.
I activated the mech, prepped it for being loaded into a transport...that it won't fit in. Shit. I'll have to make new ones. Ok, quick design: Bigger version of the Pelican, add a more powerful drive, larger transport clamp, add a spool of cable for large object carrying, more engines, done. I'll call it the albatros. Build eight, which is the minimum needed to lift my precious murderbot of uberdeath, and drag it over to the tip of argentina, where no one lives. Then I wait for the bug. Fish. Lizard. Alien. Fuckit, the kaiju. I'm bad at giving things nicknames.
=====================================================================
It wasn't as ugly as the last one, though it had a weird bulkiness to it, like it was wearing a sweater. It was lumpy, and I couldn't get a good look at it as it ran into the mines. The brilliant flashes of light illuminated the darkness, leaving the lumpiness shattered as it swam out. Once it cleared the Breach, and didn't get blasted by torpedoes, it started twitching violently, and the lumpiness, which I now realized was ablative armor against the mines, sloughed off in great chunks, revealing a face only a Geiszler could love. Sweet Drich what the fuck was up with that. It looked like someone punched it and just compressed the face into an itty bitty point at the back of the throat. Or a graboid made, hot, passionate Wal-mart sex to the monster from Cloverfield and dipped the resulting terror baby in that fucking color flour.
And it is swimming off like a paraplegic seal. Were they high on soap or something when they made this bastard? GODDAMN IT SDFYT'LECTHI'ARV'SCVI'NOF I TOLD YOU TO JUST SAY NO!
It appears to be going toward Russia, probably like canon. Okhotsk or Vladivostok or something. Wait. Does this mean I get to have my pride and joy mech deploy along with Cherno, best Jaeger? You can't tell, but I'm squeeing somewhere on the inside.
So they are calling it Raythe. Weird name but it beats "my face is too small and my forehead has teeth," or "hot graboid on cloverfield action result numero uno." Luckily, he gets to be erased from the surface of the Earth pretty soon, by either my superior firepower or Cherno's RUSSIA STRONK. I'm not sure at this point. I'm hoping it's the first one, because the thing just being shot to hell would please me immensely.
Do di do, moving my Jaeger with stealth on over to where it looks like it is going to arrive for a fun surprise di do di.
=====================================================================
Kaiju take a while to make land. I've been sitting here, waiting for a few hours for it to make it to the Miracle Mile. Cherno is en route to intercept. And I drop Commandant about three miles ahead of Cherno, and unstealth. Wonder what that burst of comms chatter was?
"<What the shit is that and where did it come from!?>" The Kaidonovskys are surprised. And everyone loves surprises, right?
"<Looks like a Jaeger. If I had to guess, it's that Glitch bastard who keeps showing up and doing things that throw everything into chaos. Try hailing it, see if it responds.>"
"<Understood, Marshal.>" They send a ping towards my utterly gigantic now that I think about it robot. "<Who are you and why have you deployed here? There is only a CAT II kaiju, no need for multiple JAeger deployment.>" Sasha seems to do most of the talking. I think her husband is just there to look intimidating.
"<This is Glitch, I'm here because I built this a few months ago and wanted to see how it does against a kaiju outside of a simulation, and get some data on several of my less tested weapons systems. I'll let you have the kill after that. It'll only take one salvo.>"
<..Fine. But one salvo only. USe whatever you need, softening it up for us means less damage to armor and deploying sooner!>" Well, they seem a bit unhinged.
"<Thanks.>"
And then Raythe emerged, ugly as ever. And I locked all possible weapons on it, and fired.
I had set up the algorithms earlier. Range, speed of projectiles/energy, necessary course alteration. All so that everything hit at the same time. The missiles went first, a full second before the next slowest battery, all of those battleship grade cannons, fired. Then the Ubercasters and Dox "Lasers," which were more like a blast of electrons now that I've looked into them, and finally the massive railcannons in the shoulders and hands.
The world is a symphony of light and sound. Dozens of colors of light streak out from my Jaeger, from the red of my electron guns, the green and spirally followed by brilliant red/white as the atmosphere surrounding the shot is pushed away and then combusts from the speed and friction, the yellow and smoke trailing the missiles, and the orange behind the smaller railgun shots. The sound is as varied, from the hiss of plasma, to the roar of the Ares class guns, to the hiss of whine of missiles closing in on target, and the hellish, shrieking roar of the orbital grade weaponry being fired in atmosphere. So powerful that I can only comprehend with my sensors. And what I'm comprehending is not making that much sense. The kaiju is gone, at the instant I hit it. Can it teleport or something?
As I move over to where the smoke and steam is billowing from, I peer through it towards the ocean floor.
And find a pair of hands, and a pair of feet, cleanly ended a few meters below the waterline, trailing kaiju blue from cauterized stumps. The rest of the kaiju starts to rain down upon me in chunks, sizzling from the heat. A bit of skull dings of the Pauldrons.
"<Well that was unexpected. I may have used too much gun for this situation.>"
"<You think?>" Aleksis this time. First time I've heard him speak.
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