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Noblesse Oblige [Znt/SI]

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This is hilariously ironic. The narration and the readers gearing up to see what drastic actions Henry will take to finally upstage the stupid little girl, and then this comes out of nowhere, to his benefit.
 
I pressed the funny button because I do not have a "What." button.



Goddammit, Joseph. That's crazy. He set it all up so that every player on the board would be eyeballing each other, while never realizing he was still sitting at the table, and feeding cards wherever he wanted. Nobody would ever expect it of the Lazy King---why, he's got that mad daughter of his and that vicious boy making grabs wherever they please, surely they're the biggest threat!



:rofl:
 
shadenight123 said:
No, no, a moment. A single instant of time. Freeze.

You made a mistake, young Henry. Yes, you, I, we, we made a singular, and very powerful mistake.

We underestimated Joseph.

We underestimated him so badly, it's not even funny.

The beggar in the tavern had to be Joseph, there was no other option. Apparently, his royal highness enjoyed hiding as a beggar and walking down the streets of Lutece, and he had done so, more than once. He must have met Cromwell here and decided to fuck with him since he hadn't anything better to do, but because there was no Sheffield...oh hell, this-this was like...

He had sent money to empower a rebellion against Albion in order to then cook up a casus belli to annex the country.

From the get go, Joseph had me pacify Brittany because it would be the starting point of the invasion, even before the situation got so out of hand. He hadn't planned the multi-purpose fleet just to defend against Albion, but to invade it too. He had extensively used his own network of spies and underground means to get things to go his way-and when the time had come to pull the rug from beneath their feet, he hadn't needed to do so because it was up to Isabella to do it.

Even if by some coincidence it would have been tracked back to him, he-he had abdicated.

He wasn't responsible any longer. So...so even if I understood this, acknowledged it and told it to someone, it wouldn't matter at all because he was gone, and only the innocents -like Isabella- would pay the price of it in the end.

He had passed the crown and pulled the final strings to destroy the rug.

He-He...

He had gifted Albion to his daughter.

The final gift of a father that was never there for his only child.

A fitting farewell, a final goodbye?
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Once again, Joseph shows why he's my favorite character.

EDIT: Also, it's a very good thing that Henry didn't decide to just pull out of Albion, in response to Henrietta's actions, or she would have been the one to be handed Albion on a silver platter.

EDIT 2: Also, just imagine the propaganda that this will give Gallia. As soon as Prince-Consort Henry arrived for the meeting, the leaders of Reconquista surrendered, knowing that they were no match for the Gallian Military, and having heard of Henry's kindness.
 
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Holy fucking shit nuggets.


...well, the least that Henry could do is to prep a letter to send to Joseph, in case he and Anne shows up in the Murder Network. Give him the 40 keks that he deserved.

shadenight123 said:
"Your highness-we speak honestly, and there is just cause for it," one of the nobles said. "I-I am General Hawkins sir, and I swear it upon the gods-it's sad, but true. We...the army had thousands of demi-humans within it. Orcs, trolls, fanged ogres-but they fought for the thrill of it, for food and nothing else. They were kept in check by a few of us capable of striking deals they might like but...the gods punished those nobles, and they died horribly. One fell from the stairs, and impaled himself on his own wand. Another slipped and fell face first into the maws of a dragon. The demi-humans no longer obeyed so we had to fight to put them down-we lost most of our troops. Now, we are barely twenty thousands, and none of them are mercenaries, only Marquis' men who no longer have lords guiding them. They want to go home. We want this war to end-" General Hawkins looked at me with a pleading expression.

I just stared. This had to be a trap.
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That would be your blue-haired guardian angel in action, Henry.
 
Oh, man. I just realized. Can you imagine how pissed Henrietta is going to be, when she hears about this?

"You told him about his mother leading the army? Good, good. Now he'll have no choice but to help me get Albion back for my beloved Wales."
The next day
"He what!?"
 
Good god but the wealth available to Gallia now.

With Albion fed by Gallia overabundant fields it can produce cash crops and trade goods like no other and with it's position as a trade hub.

Jeepers.
 
Mazarin: "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Henrietta: "I have twenty thousand troops, diplomatic immunity from his actions, the rightful heir to the throne, an elf assassin, and his mother. What could he possibly do to stop me?"

-x-

Henrietta: "The whole continent. How? How?!"

Mazarin: "He let us keep the territory we claimed."

Henrietta: "Ah, yes. How kind. We get to keep one city. What a fitting gift for dear Wales."

Mazarin: "But it is an Albionese city with Albionese royalty, so--"

Henrietta: "He turned all of Albion into Gallia. There is no Albion anymore, Cardinal. How did this happen?! I had everything prepared!"

Mazarin: "You might even say he acted viciously."

Henrietta: "..."
 
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God I cannot wait to see Henrietta's reaction and how (if) Henry decides to rub it in her face all sneaky and noble like.

Catharsis achieved.
 
Joseph really is magnificent here. And is totally having a bizarre adventure right now, where he enjoys trolling people by predicting what they are going to say next.
 
MTB said:
What else has Joseph planned - and is doing at the moment?
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Joseph: "So Henry, I've found some new drinking buddies. Apparently those long eared bastards can make some fine wine. After I drunk over half of them under the table they decided they would be fine opening peace talks. Tell Isabella to have fun with that. Now Anne says she found a bar with some new wines we haven't tried yet, later!"
 
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InfiniteDaze said:
Also this is taking "Your next line is" to a whole different level.
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"Your next line -- several years from today -- is "Take all of Albion off of our hands"!"

"...What lunacy are you spouting, Beggar?"

"Nothing at all. So, I hear the commoners are pissed off."

"...Yes?"

"There's an easy solution to that. First, wine. Then... murder."

"Everything you're saying is obviously insane and heretical... But consider me intrigued."
 
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