Mandat de l'impératrice des Cieux - Imperial Princess Troubleshooter Space Opera Quest

I think I lost it at 'steppy power'. XD

Yeah, when you've read memes of a parody of a hentai, you know nobody is taking a thing seriously here.
Johnny's innermost being is constantly shitposting. If you don't take life seriously, if you don't give a shit, your feelings can't be hurt.

He shitposts so hard he actually manages to gloss over his self-loathing. Or perhaps it's too internalised at this point. tfw the only reason Johnny managed to realise Maggie was honeypotting him was because he hates himself so much he could never believe anybody could ever be genuinely interested in him that way.

It's a problem he has: he shitposts in order to deflect moments of emotional vulnerability or self awareness. Damnit, Johnny.

ofc he's also shitposting because even if Maggie is lording it over him so much in his personal lofe, she can't lord it over him in his mind :V

i should write sleepy just woken up johnny more, that dude is a lot nore honest than salted been up the whole day Johnny.
 
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"By Jove what the devil am I doing spending five hundred crowns on this flight? For the money I've paid I expect a certain level of service! Can't you incompetents even achieve that level of-"

"Johnny, five hundred crowns is a low cost budget airline with no stewardesses. Multiply that figure by five hundred, please."

"Look I'm not actually rich-"

"Get back in character," snaps Maggie, and you obey.

"-I paid fifteen thousand crowns for this flight, the least I demand is to be serviced as I am accustomed to."
Math.exe not found.
Math is important dammit. How else could you ever descrive Maggie's body if not as a series of sine curves :V
 
Math.exe not found.
Math is important dammit. How else could you ever descrive Maggie's body if not as a series of sine curves :V
Math is not something Johnny can do instinctively; he has to concentrate to do his math properly, which is why he uses it to distract himself :p Recall earlier:

You keep your eyes locked onto hers and mentally start calculating the throw weight of destroyer Fubuki's railguns per one hour of sustained firing, factoring in reload and cooldown times.

Johnny: "Your head la, siao, fifteen sounds nicer and is easier to say than twenty five!"

Johnny pls, it's ok to admit that you're bad at math. :V
 
Johnny: "Your head la, siao, fifteen sounds nicer and is easier to say than twenty five!"

Johnny pls, it's ok to admit that you're bad at math. :V
Bad enough that he can't even get it right on a second try. 500 × 500 = 250 000.

Maggie: " The price is wrong by an order of magnitude but good enough I guess."
:V
 
Math.exe not found.
Math is important dammit. How else could you ever descrive Maggie's body if not as a series of sine curves :V
My interpretation was that Cheapskate Johnny refuses to believe that even the superrich would spend that much money on a simple airplane flight. Or perhaps all the blood rushing to his nether regions is making it hard for him to math, I suppose that might be it.
 
Is it really that bad to find the politics to be kind of interesting though?🤔🤔
It's not, I was just poking fun at how I PR'd then quest at the start. :p

My interpretation was that Cheapskate Johnny refuses to believe that even the superrich would spend that much money on a simple airplane flight. Or perhaps all the blood rushing to his nether regions is making it hard for him to math, I suppose that might be it.
We can always go for "all of the above" :p

Work on the main update is progressing, target is no later than Chinese New Year, btw
 
I'm just amazed the sex scene got greenlit to get posted on SV, or at least that Mods don't seem to have an issue with it. I've got the impression those are a no-no on this site, but I guess that could simply be due to it being below-18 is forbidden, when most stories here involve teen protagonists.
 
I'm just amazed the sex scene got greenlit to get posted on SV, or at least that Mods don't seem to have an issue with it. I've got the impression those are a no-no on this site, but I guess that could simply be due to it being below-18 is forbidden, when most stories here involve teen protagonists.
That is correct. As long as everyone is and adult, there are a lot fewer restrictions. It just happens that so many quests and stories on this forum or based on anime or things that feature teenage protagonists or characters, and there are much more worries about that.
 
Letters from Salsu
1 June, Buntoku 1​

Dear Yoyo,

I first want to note that the formal report is my true thinking, I'm not dressing it up for Hood. Salsu looks like it'll take some effort, but we can turn this around. We've got a good team, my people are on fire. We've done insurgency suppression before, things'll be fine. No, I no longer want to shoot everyone I see because I'm surrounded by incompetents.

At this point, my reforms of the local military are mostly complete. I've shitcanned the incompetents, shepherded the chiongsters, and the mediocre are, for the most part, where they can't do too much harm. I hope.

The civil service has seen some ruthless trimming - when their functions haven't been suborned to military authority - and I believe I've sufficiently cowed the nobles into shutting up and listening to me. Being an Imperial Prince does still count for something, afterall!

I really need more ships out here - I know, I know, everyone says that. It's true though. I swear on your mum. We're patrolling aggressively to deter pirates and maintain a presence in all systems - I don't want anywhere in Salsu feeling neglected and deciding this is a grand old time to secede, and I'm not comfortable with letting the locals crash build their forces - forces which might well be used against me.

Sorry, I'm rambling a little. Sorry, I've been a little vague on what my plans were for Salsu, because I didn't want anybody accusing you of conspiring with me. This way, we've got a little bit of plausible deniability, enough to do things. It reminds me of when we were the boys of DesRon 413, the Die Live Again Gang. Sorry, I'm stalling. Lightyears away and I can still see that disapproving look on your face, Hyung, so I'll just come out and say it:

I've effectively declared myself military governor of the Salsu Frontier. In deed, not name, but that fig leaf will last as long as a corvette under a battleship's broadside. I just didn't see a way to effectively assert control over the situation. It's actually worked out pretty well, and everyone has gotten with the program (and with surprisingly little need to have guns continually pointed at their heads!).

I suspect that someone was and still is stirring the pot here in Salsu. The pirate presence was too well armed, too well-equipped, not like some of the jokers we've crushed. We've managed to streamline the command structure and reorganise our forces, and so far, piracy remains suppressed, the problem moving forward is going to be separatist and insurgent movements springing up in the systems. There's a lot of unrest and unhappiness here, especially with Hoou's indifferent, negligent mismanagement of the frontier: this place is ripe for becoming another Pattani. Politically, moving forward, I think the only way Salsu stays in the Empire is if it becomes an Imperial Protectorate - not quite to the same level as Takama-ga-Hara, the Five Great Houses would throw a shitfit over that - but administered and overseen by the Throne. But that's going to be a decision for Her Majesty.

I know my tour will be up in half a year, but I'd really appreciate it if you could work things to extend my tour by another year. I'd love to come home - Goddess, I miss my wife and my daughter (and you, of course) - but you know how it is. We sacrifice our desires on the altar of service - you taught me that. I really think that if I can stay on another year I can keep things on the rails, or at least buffer things so that some dumbfuck social admiral can't fuck up Salsu. It'd be best if we could get all of our gang out here, but there's only so much I can impose on you.

Please give my regards to your mum, and take care of yourself, especially that thing I keep arguing with you about. If there is anything you need, you only need to ask and I'll help: all my resources are at your disposal. Don't be too proud to make use of them.

I don't tell you this enough: thank you for looking out for me and Yui. It means the world to me.

Your brother,

Masa
 
Hi, all. Sorry, the main update hasn't arrived yet, life continues to be kicking me in the teeth. This is the sixth year in a row where IRL has cucked me at Chinese New Year*, and I've been busy trying to reassemble the collapsing house of cards that is my life and my financial state - and then two of my coworkers are out on maternity leave, so the one person in the bullpen who can't get pregnant (i.e. me) has to pick up the slack. There was a lot of unpaid overtime and crunch these past few weeks.

...I've also since opened a Ko-fi, in an effort to generate a little extra income. If you like what I write and want to support me, feel free to drop some bread in my jar. If you want to commission your own audiobook reading, I charge USD6 per 1k words. I plan to be tossing up some audiobook reads of portions of the posts in the quest as a sampler, but that'll take a while because my crunch kicks into high gear tomorrow. -_-;;

Anyhow, my apologies on how long tings are taking. I know that sidestory, even plot-relevant sidestory hinting at future plot threads for the quest, can't substitute a main update - all I can promise is that I'm continuing to work on that. Thanks, everyone.
 
Life is like that, sometimes. You stay strong and take care of yourself. Don't worry, we understand.
 
Politically, moving forward, I think the only way Salsu stays in the Empire is if it becomes an Imperial Protectorate - not quite to the same level as Takama-ga-Hara, the Five Great Houses would throw a shitfit over that - but administered and overseen by the Throne. But that's going to be a decision for Her Majesty.
... Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit-ah. He really doesn't want to say what it means with the Throne running this little region directly. With the Navy split into semi-squabbling admirals gouging their on-book forces and thinking they have the best plan to save the Throne, Salu wouldn't only be tying his local coup to the Empress, but putting his command on the same table as the rest of the Great Houses. When individual military commands overtly become political blocs with their own agendas, local control, and lobbying efforts, we have a Fall Of Rome situation.
 
One wonders if the lad doesn't have the right idea of just stabilizing as much as possible so when the whole thing inevitably goes crunch it's not a complete mess.

Though that does sounds far too much like it'd be inviting the Succession Wars but hey no plan's perfect
 
putting his command on the same table as the rest of the Great Houses.
This is not entirely true. The Salsu Frontier is weaker militarily and economically compared with the other Frontiers, and at present is in no way shape or form a possible contender to any of the Great Houses. There is much potential to develop Salsu and turn it into a wealthy, income-generating territory that runs at a profit (which was one of the reasons behind the Great Houses supporting/sponsoring opening up the Outer Rim), but as Masatada puts it, Hoou has been rather indifferent to the Salsu Frontier, and it's nowhere near as developed as the Imperial Core.

On the other hand, reading between the lines of Masatada's letter, there's also much potential to turn Salsu into another Pattani, sucking up blood and treasure and tying down the Imperial military in pacifying the region.
 
'wanders in and reads the quest'
Huh this is pretty great.
'reads the sidestories and some of the comments around them'
Okay, I have definitely missed a few things. Since when was our cousin crushing on us? And oh gods, that's got some extremely nasty psychological warning signs right there. Even more than it looks like just reading the threadmarks.
'reads the last sidestory'
Uh... Damnit Dad! We're trying to avoid it looking like our family is taking advantage of our cousin's complete incapability of being Empress to become the greatest power in the Empire. Then you do... that! Okay, it might have been what was needed. But the optics are... I believe 'oh shit?' is an appropriate description?
 
As Johnny noted in Feelings, Yui once went on a date and to this day does not realise it was a date. in matters of the heart, involving her, she's a little dense. :p
 
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