KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Donald Trump has a very good handle on his stress, he has no filter, and does not worry about what he says.
MakeAmericaSaneAgain. A 2016 political campaign.
- Thread starter KarvokaQueen
- Start date
- Original
- Location
- Patriarchova
[x] UNLEASH THE BEANSLIDE
Easy. Have him grab some pussy on live television.
Katsuragi
The 1%
@The Karvoka Man - isn't there a vacation coming up shortly that will convent ly wipe this recent stress?
Artemis
What's a pirate's least favourite letter?
- Location
- The Seven Seas
Indeed.
This turn was pretty damn amazing, overall. Three criticals including a true 100 (or was it four crits?), and the negatives here are mostly financial or stress. What I'd recommend is, next turn, getting some explicit stress-relief. If we can cycle some staff through actions to relax, then we should be just fine. With Karkova mentioning having a handle on stress, it might even be interesting to specifically train for something like that, and keep our man Pataki as cool as a cucumber.
I wouldn't call the debate planning roll unimportant.
@The Karvoka Man why does information gathering seem to focus so much on spying on other campaigns and almost nothing on opposition research? If anything it should be the opposite.
Also do you have any guidance for how you want metagame knowledge to be used?
@The Karvoka Man why does information gathering seem to focus so much on spying on other campaigns and almost nothing on opposition research? If anything it should be the opposite.
Also do you have any guidance for how you want metagame knowledge to be used?
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Because until know your research team consisted of Harry Enten, and two interns who were using some old, crappy computers to do thier work.
Turn 9. Results
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
TURN 9 RESULTS
[X] Put off the Foreign policy debate. They don't need a hard response yet. This is for the August issue.
Yeah, you are still interested, but you'd like to wait until next week to do this one. After the debate, at least. It'd be a good way to buff George up a fair bit and make sure he's fully grounded in foreign policy beforehand. Don't want any 'incidents' after all! Not going to let Ruboto outdo you!
[X] Of course! The LVRJ (Las Vegas Review-Journal) is a voice of reason, and you are a Nevada boy born and raised, so you've got a connection to the place. Now to decide on a theme…..
-[X] "Make America Sane Again: The best man you'll ever get in that damn office is right here
Roll = 96 + 20. 116. Laxalt makes accidental waves. Covered in interlude 'Mr. Laxalt will see you now.'
Well, you knew you'd be visiting Nevada again soon, just not under these circumstances. Definitely not visiting this ranch.
CAMPAIGN ACTIONS: PickThree Two.
[X] How to Ad for dummies. Your advertising department is kind of crap. Hardly surprising, given your background is Congress campaigns, where newspaper spots are the mainstay, not state-wide contests where TV ads rule. Expanding things so you can properly churn them out, at higher quality, would be a good (if expensive) investment. (Cost: 30k per turn until complete. 12k once complete. Time: 2 turns. Result: Ad attribute raised to 2.)
Roll = 65. New staff hired, neighbouring office agrees to buyout. -245k. Future expansion of Campaign HQ will be cheaper, faster and easier.
"Hey! Be fucking careful with those! They cost more than your goddamn salary!" You bellow as the workers shrug, moving stuff out of the way, including your precious copy machine, so they can knock out a wall and connect you to the neighbouring office, which you've just bought. The people there have stripped out all their stuff, which is fine, because you can just buy newer, better stuff! Starting with setting up a proper advertising department, and maybe someone to properly oversee financials? It could work, you just need to figure out how.
[X] The plan. You need to bring Pataki in to plan out debating strategy. You could get badly fucked if you don't have a plan for dealing with the other candidates ahead of time. (Cost: Free. Results: Debate plan organised. You must write up this plan yourself. This prevents debate/issue familiarity decay this turn.)
Roll = 28 + 20. Fuck plans. Stress starts to rise. Pataki has modified the plan.
Well, you can't say you approve of some of the modifications Pataki has made to the plan, he's planning on trying to knock Jeb out in the opening half hour. You are too exhausted to argue right now, but pushing back against his re-interpretation of the plan might be prudent.
RESEARCH TEAM. Pick One. (Two locked)
[X] What to do with the spy. The Jeb Campaign operative is now unofficially detained by Harry, who has posted an intern outside the supply closet he's being kept in. You are debating calling the police, or using it to blackmail/slander Jeb. (Cost: Free action. Result: Spy dealt with.)
-[X] Organize a quick photoshoot for the captured spy. If/when he objects, use blackmail -- we either call the police and arrange for a perp walk in front of the press, or you stick around for an extra hour, no harm no foul.
-[X] Pose him at desk (looking nerdy), in front of green screen (lots of options/poses here), have him wear a tuxedo + holding a martini glass, or tuxedo + wielding pocket calculator like a pistol, etc.
-[X] After photoshoot, escort spy out of building without further ado.
-[X] Post pics to Twitter, start a hashtag making fun of Jeb! campaign's incompetence/lack of charisma
Roll = 86. Peter Laxalt, Internet Star! Blackmail gathered, Laxalt increasingly well known on Instagram
"You look byootiful!" Jeanie laughed as the socially awkward, balding accountant-looking fuck was posed with some of the interns, holding a business calculator as your PA snapped some photos. This was great! You hadn't felt this good in almost a week. You relax on a desk as several of the interns laugh, today was going well. George was having a fun time in Columbia, and you got to torment someone and not get yelled at for once! The terrified campaign staffer just sputters whenever ordered to do something, as you whip out your iDroid Whatever-thefuck and start up instragram, just like dwayne showed you.
"Hey asshole! Smile for the camera!" You take a photo. Jesus christ do these filters look horrible! Why would anyone waste such an incredible piece of technology on-oh christ there are so many filters. You must use them all!
[X] Investigate Cool J's plan. You haven't palmed it off to Harry yet but it might pay to give it to him for a read. He's a pollster, so he's got experience. Hell, he can probably find some people to run. Maybe. (Cost: 10k. Chance of Success: Unknown (High) Result: 'The Plan' is investigated. Snazzy name thought up.)
Roll = 42. Harry begins to plot out the A-list. A-List actions unlocked!
As you enter Harry's office, a terrified intern scurries out. You think you recognise her. Was she the one who dropped Harry's desktop? Well, you can't blame her for being scared! Harry scares you when he's mad. Mostly because unlike you, he doesn't get mad often.
"Harry! The fuck is wrong with you? Terrorising the interns is my job, you asshat." You laugh and walk up to his desk, sitting down. Enten is visibly fuming, and seems to be torn between hating you, your cigar, and the intern all at once. Ah, such a wonderful team you've built, just like family! Right down the the resentment, infighting, and loathing.
Harry takes a long, deep breath, rubbing his temples slowly. You do him some courtesy, and extinguish your cigar. That seems to soothe him at least a little bit, as you wait for him to start talking. "Right, I'm not going to bullshit you Peter. James hasn't really done a heap. It is all amaetuer work. Good for an amatuer, but still amatuer. This is going to take a lot of doing, I mean, some of the shit in here is basically backstabbing the RNC." You can tell he wants to add a 'finally' onto that, or maybe rant about the death of the GOP, but he stops himself, taking another deep breath, drinking some water. It occurs to you that you in this moment, that you employ a lot of liberals, and one outright socialist. That....may become a liability at some point. "That said….I can see at least some of this working. The democrats are more vulnerable than they realise this cycle. Hillary is a walking timebomb, and they've got quite a few weak incumbents in states with popular republican governors. It might, and this is a big might, be doable. Forming our own internal party coalition." He stops to drink some more water, and pushes a thick folder. It is Cool J's, but it has been fattened with quite a bit more documentation.
"I've got some names for us to start with. Mark Kirk is vulnerable, and if you aren't bullshitting about Kelly Ayotte being in your corner, she'd lend any party faction a lot of credibility." You nod your head, leafing through the folder for a few moments, before standing up. You don't need to say much, Harry gets what you mean, and what you want.
"Thanks Harry. See you for poker on Sunday?" He gives you an irritated scowl, before nodding. He hates that you and Nate keep cleaning him out, which is always fun to watch!
PATAKI ACTIONS (Pick 4)
[X] Practice debate. Having a few practice debates with the team should get George in the right state of mind for August. Sure, it's awhile away, but it doesn't hurt to prepare. (Debating skill increased by +10)
Roll = 16. George begins to stress about debate. Otherwise normal.
Fucking fuck shit fuck.
Right. Now that is out of your system, debate practice went…..acceptable, this week. It was hard to keep Jorge focused in on the topic, though. His mind has been elsewhere, stressing about the debate (You can't blame him for that) and such. Next week, you think you should start off by focusing on specific candidates.
[X] In the shade of the Palm Trees. With you doing better in South Carolina than you thought, it might be a good idea to give the other two states a rest, and start stomping in SC. It'd be a big kick up the pants to state morale! (Cost: 10k. Chance of Success: 75% Result: Momentum/Footsoldier morale raised in SC)
Roll = 49. George does a meet and greet! Momentum in State Raised, Foot Soldiers boosted.
Well, until she sprained her ankle, George and Libby seemed to have a good time in South Carolina, even afterwards Libby and George took a day off to enjoy Charleston, before he flew up to New Hampshire. Still, Libby getting hurt dampened the enthusiasm of both George, and at the town-hall event she'd gotten hurt at, so things could've gone a bit better.
[X] Invulnerable. You've gotten a unique offer from a Colombian businessman, Miguel Caballero. To provide pataki with suits. In exchange for modelling his suits, and showing them off to the American public, he'll provide Pataki with several sets of suits with suits graded to resists up to M-16 rounds! (Cost:10k Time: 1 turn. Result: Pataki acquires bulletproof suits.)
Roll = 100. George helps small child find cat. Gives security team small panic attack, becomes meme on Latin American social media. What a weekend!.
Well, apparently 'Abuelo Jorge' is trending on Columbian social media. You don't know what the hell is going on, but you've gotten a bunch of texts from George, several of which involve him posing with a cat and a child. You see, this is why you have trust issues, you send a guy to Columbia to buy suits, and next goddamn thing you know, he's saved a small animal and has become a meme on twitter. Christ the things you put up with for these people.
[X] Made from Granite. Well, after several weeks break, it might be a good idea to send George back into New Hampshire. It is a delicate balance between 'Campaigning too much' and 'Not campaigning enough'. Don't want to push too far in the other direction!. (Cost: 10k Chance of Success: 85% Result: Momentum in NH increased.)
Roll = 95. Critical! George makes big waves in NH. +1 Footsoldier. +20 to Plank rolls this turn and next
Oh yeah! The news ticker rolls on and on this week, and despite some fuck ups in South Carolina, things are looking up! Pataki knocked it out of the park in Manchester, when he launched the 'safe at home' plank. Really got the crowd moving, and you've noticed an appreciable uptick in support in New Hampshire. Now that you've got both platforms out, it is really just a matter of ensuring the debate goes well, to seal the deal.
Research actions
[X] The Beanslide begins. Apparently Harry has been taking Scott Walker's attacks very personally. You can't blame him. You have been as well. He's a real piece of work, that slick-haired twat. Harry's got an idea to help screw him, though. (Cost: 15k upfront. Unknown amount down the road. Chance of Success: Unknown. Time to Completion: Unknown. Result: Harry Enten appeased. Otherwise unknown. This action locks until completion)
Roll = ??? The beanslide is ready to be unleashed on your order.
Fucking Harry Enten and his fucking cryptic emails! 'All is prepared'. The fuck does that mean? Well, fuck it, it is almost monday, and you don't feel like dignifying his bullshit emails with a response, you'll talk about it come monday.
[X] Expanding surveillance. Harry is apoplectic about last weeks fuck up. Splitting his time screaming at his interns, and apologising to you. which makes you feel a little better, but has also made you realise, of course he's fucking up. You need some proper spying infrastructure! To get this kind of shit off the ground, though, would bite into your cash reserves a bit. It'd also take time. (Cost: 18k per turn until completed. 6k once completed. Time: 3 turns. Result: Research stat raised to 3. Harry will have an easier time coordinating spying and subterfuge)
Roll = 18. Computer dropped during move, 5k worth of man hours and equipment lost. Harry is upset
"YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!" Is the first indication you've got that something has gone wrong, Harry doesn't swear often, but when he does….
You walk out to a scene of chaos. Palmer, or Parker, or whatever the fuck it was, is sheepishly looking down at the ground, or…..at a computer? Two halves of a computer, more like. Harry is staring at him, red in the face. You've got a vague idea of what has just happened, as Harry starts screaming. You take a sip of your coffee and step back inside. You aren't stupid, you don't want to die. You aren't getting between Harry and revenge.
LIBBY PATAKI ACTIONS (Pick One)
[X] Hit the track. Libby has apparently worked on her speaking, time to put that to the test, and have her Barnstorm on her own! (Cost: 8k. Chance of Success: 75% Result: +Momentum in [STATE].
-[X] South Carolina
-[X] Follow George to barnstorm in New Hampshire if possible
Roll = 16. Libby has an accident! Nothing Major, but George won't leave her to suffer in isolation. -1 George action next turn.
Well, Libby is out of commission again. Tripped and sprained her ankle. She'll be off her feet for a little bit, and unfortunately when George found out, he has largely refused to leave her side. Devoted, but annoying.
Libby is out for one week with a sprained ankle. George is spending as much time as possible with her (-1 Pataki action next turn)
JAMES TODD SMITH
[X] Barnstorm. Cool J is quite charismatic, you have to be, to be a prominent musician, and he's good with crowds, another positive! He's also black. That, if nothing else, will get people's attention. (Cost: 10k Chance of Success: 80% Result: Momentum in [STATE] raised. Specify State.)
-[X] Nevada
Roll = 64. JTS introduces Pataki to the people, the people are largely ambivalent.
Well, you've got some positive buzz in Nevada. Combining your editorialising and JTS's campaigning it has been a solid enough week in Nevada, nothing super fantastic, but hey, nothing went wrong, Cool J drew a crowd, and there is good media flowing out of the state. Unfortunately, this is it for Cool J, at least for now. He had a good run, at the very least!
COOL J has left the campaign.
PLANK ROLLS
July 29: People Over Politics (campaign motto, emphasizes campaign theme)
Roll = 60. Crowd in Charleston loves it! Event Costs: 120k
The first plank went over tolerably well, it didn't inject drugs into the campaign, but it kept people talking, and holding a major rally for the plank was a good idea. The crowd cheering really helped amp the atmosphere up, even if the platform hasn't revved things up much.
August 3: Safe at Home (red meat for base, emphasizes candidate's reputation)
Roll = 75 + 20. 95. And the crowd goes wild! Event Costs: 100k
While the first one fell a little flat, the second major plank announcement, in Manchester, NH, went over much better. The crowd went nuts, George got in quite a few good one-liners, and by the end of the rally, you'd noticed a huge amount of traffic on the site. Almost too much….
SUPERPAC ROLLS
People before Politics PAC: 21. Limited fundraising for PAC +24k PbP PAC cash
AAfBA PAC: 51. Heavy Campaign Fundraising. +120k Campaign funds, +250k PAC funds (Both PAC)
Not much on the PAC front this week, just gathering up funds for the next phase of campaigning, according to your superPAC guy.
FUNDRAISING ROLL
Instead of providing a description of how the fundraising went, I'll explain how the new system works (more or less). Basically, background fundraising is affected by two things. Momentum and Name Recognition. If you have high amounts of momentum, you'll be raising a shitload of background funds, unless you roll atrociously. The dice roll simply represents fickle chance. You cannot crit either way on fundraising rolls. Yet.
Roll = 1 + 34 (Momentum). 38k raised from merchandise/donations.
[X] Put off the Foreign policy debate. They don't need a hard response yet. This is for the August issue.
Yeah, you are still interested, but you'd like to wait until next week to do this one. After the debate, at least. It'd be a good way to buff George up a fair bit and make sure he's fully grounded in foreign policy beforehand. Don't want any 'incidents' after all! Not going to let Ruboto outdo you!
[X] Of course! The LVRJ (Las Vegas Review-Journal) is a voice of reason, and you are a Nevada boy born and raised, so you've got a connection to the place. Now to decide on a theme…..
-[X] "Make America Sane Again: The best man you'll ever get in that damn office is right here
Roll = 96 + 20. 116. Laxalt makes accidental waves. Covered in interlude 'Mr. Laxalt will see you now.'
Well, you knew you'd be visiting Nevada again soon, just not under these circumstances. Definitely not visiting this ranch.
CAMPAIGN ACTIONS: Pick
[X] How to Ad for dummies. Your advertising department is kind of crap. Hardly surprising, given your background is Congress campaigns, where newspaper spots are the mainstay, not state-wide contests where TV ads rule. Expanding things so you can properly churn them out, at higher quality, would be a good (if expensive) investment. (Cost: 30k per turn until complete. 12k once complete. Time: 2 turns. Result: Ad attribute raised to 2.)
Roll = 65. New staff hired, neighbouring office agrees to buyout. -245k. Future expansion of Campaign HQ will be cheaper, faster and easier.
"Hey! Be fucking careful with those! They cost more than your goddamn salary!" You bellow as the workers shrug, moving stuff out of the way, including your precious copy machine, so they can knock out a wall and connect you to the neighbouring office, which you've just bought. The people there have stripped out all their stuff, which is fine, because you can just buy newer, better stuff! Starting with setting up a proper advertising department, and maybe someone to properly oversee financials? It could work, you just need to figure out how.
[X] The plan. You need to bring Pataki in to plan out debating strategy. You could get badly fucked if you don't have a plan for dealing with the other candidates ahead of time. (Cost: Free. Results: Debate plan organised. You must write up this plan yourself. This prevents debate/issue familiarity decay this turn.)
Roll = 28 + 20. Fuck plans. Stress starts to rise. Pataki has modified the plan.
Well, you can't say you approve of some of the modifications Pataki has made to the plan, he's planning on trying to knock Jeb out in the opening half hour. You are too exhausted to argue right now, but pushing back against his re-interpretation of the plan might be prudent.
RESEARCH TEAM. Pick One. (Two locked)
[X] What to do with the spy. The Jeb Campaign operative is now unofficially detained by Harry, who has posted an intern outside the supply closet he's being kept in. You are debating calling the police, or using it to blackmail/slander Jeb. (Cost: Free action. Result: Spy dealt with.)
-[X] Organize a quick photoshoot for the captured spy. If/when he objects, use blackmail -- we either call the police and arrange for a perp walk in front of the press, or you stick around for an extra hour, no harm no foul.
-[X] Pose him at desk (looking nerdy), in front of green screen (lots of options/poses here), have him wear a tuxedo + holding a martini glass, or tuxedo + wielding pocket calculator like a pistol, etc.
-[X] After photoshoot, escort spy out of building without further ado.
-[X] Post pics to Twitter, start a hashtag making fun of Jeb! campaign's incompetence/lack of charisma
Roll = 86. Peter Laxalt, Internet Star! Blackmail gathered, Laxalt increasingly well known on Instagram
"You look byootiful!" Jeanie laughed as the socially awkward, balding accountant-looking fuck was posed with some of the interns, holding a business calculator as your PA snapped some photos. This was great! You hadn't felt this good in almost a week. You relax on a desk as several of the interns laugh, today was going well. George was having a fun time in Columbia, and you got to torment someone and not get yelled at for once! The terrified campaign staffer just sputters whenever ordered to do something, as you whip out your iDroid Whatever-thefuck and start up instragram, just like dwayne showed you.
"Hey asshole! Smile for the camera!" You take a photo. Jesus christ do these filters look horrible! Why would anyone waste such an incredible piece of technology on-oh christ there are so many filters. You must use them all!
[X] Investigate Cool J's plan. You haven't palmed it off to Harry yet but it might pay to give it to him for a read. He's a pollster, so he's got experience. Hell, he can probably find some people to run. Maybe. (Cost: 10k. Chance of Success: Unknown (High) Result: 'The Plan' is investigated. Snazzy name thought up.)
Roll = 42. Harry begins to plot out the A-list. A-List actions unlocked!
As you enter Harry's office, a terrified intern scurries out. You think you recognise her. Was she the one who dropped Harry's desktop? Well, you can't blame her for being scared! Harry scares you when he's mad. Mostly because unlike you, he doesn't get mad often.
"Harry! The fuck is wrong with you? Terrorising the interns is my job, you asshat." You laugh and walk up to his desk, sitting down. Enten is visibly fuming, and seems to be torn between hating you, your cigar, and the intern all at once. Ah, such a wonderful team you've built, just like family! Right down the the resentment, infighting, and loathing.
Harry takes a long, deep breath, rubbing his temples slowly. You do him some courtesy, and extinguish your cigar. That seems to soothe him at least a little bit, as you wait for him to start talking. "Right, I'm not going to bullshit you Peter. James hasn't really done a heap. It is all amaetuer work. Good for an amatuer, but still amatuer. This is going to take a lot of doing, I mean, some of the shit in here is basically backstabbing the RNC." You can tell he wants to add a 'finally' onto that, or maybe rant about the death of the GOP, but he stops himself, taking another deep breath, drinking some water. It occurs to you that you in this moment, that you employ a lot of liberals, and one outright socialist. That....may become a liability at some point. "That said….I can see at least some of this working. The democrats are more vulnerable than they realise this cycle. Hillary is a walking timebomb, and they've got quite a few weak incumbents in states with popular republican governors. It might, and this is a big might, be doable. Forming our own internal party coalition." He stops to drink some more water, and pushes a thick folder. It is Cool J's, but it has been fattened with quite a bit more documentation.
"I've got some names for us to start with. Mark Kirk is vulnerable, and if you aren't bullshitting about Kelly Ayotte being in your corner, she'd lend any party faction a lot of credibility." You nod your head, leafing through the folder for a few moments, before standing up. You don't need to say much, Harry gets what you mean, and what you want.
"Thanks Harry. See you for poker on Sunday?" He gives you an irritated scowl, before nodding. He hates that you and Nate keep cleaning him out, which is always fun to watch!
PATAKI ACTIONS (Pick 4)
[X] Practice debate. Having a few practice debates with the team should get George in the right state of mind for August. Sure, it's awhile away, but it doesn't hurt to prepare. (Debating skill increased by +10)
Roll = 16. George begins to stress about debate. Otherwise normal.
Fucking fuck shit fuck.
Right. Now that is out of your system, debate practice went…..acceptable, this week. It was hard to keep Jorge focused in on the topic, though. His mind has been elsewhere, stressing about the debate (You can't blame him for that) and such. Next week, you think you should start off by focusing on specific candidates.
[X] In the shade of the Palm Trees. With you doing better in South Carolina than you thought, it might be a good idea to give the other two states a rest, and start stomping in SC. It'd be a big kick up the pants to state morale! (Cost: 10k. Chance of Success: 75% Result: Momentum/Footsoldier morale raised in SC)
Roll = 49. George does a meet and greet! Momentum in State Raised, Foot Soldiers boosted.
Well, until she sprained her ankle, George and Libby seemed to have a good time in South Carolina, even afterwards Libby and George took a day off to enjoy Charleston, before he flew up to New Hampshire. Still, Libby getting hurt dampened the enthusiasm of both George, and at the town-hall event she'd gotten hurt at, so things could've gone a bit better.
[X] Invulnerable. You've gotten a unique offer from a Colombian businessman, Miguel Caballero. To provide pataki with suits. In exchange for modelling his suits, and showing them off to the American public, he'll provide Pataki with several sets of suits with suits graded to resists up to M-16 rounds! (Cost:10k Time: 1 turn. Result: Pataki acquires bulletproof suits.)
Roll = 100. George helps small child find cat. Gives security team small panic attack, becomes meme on Latin American social media. What a weekend!.
Well, apparently 'Abuelo Jorge' is trending on Columbian social media. You don't know what the hell is going on, but you've gotten a bunch of texts from George, several of which involve him posing with a cat and a child. You see, this is why you have trust issues, you send a guy to Columbia to buy suits, and next goddamn thing you know, he's saved a small animal and has become a meme on twitter. Christ the things you put up with for these people.
[X] Made from Granite. Well, after several weeks break, it might be a good idea to send George back into New Hampshire. It is a delicate balance between 'Campaigning too much' and 'Not campaigning enough'. Don't want to push too far in the other direction!. (Cost: 10k Chance of Success: 85% Result: Momentum in NH increased.)
Roll = 95. Critical! George makes big waves in NH. +1 Footsoldier. +20 to Plank rolls this turn and next
Oh yeah! The news ticker rolls on and on this week, and despite some fuck ups in South Carolina, things are looking up! Pataki knocked it out of the park in Manchester, when he launched the 'safe at home' plank. Really got the crowd moving, and you've noticed an appreciable uptick in support in New Hampshire. Now that you've got both platforms out, it is really just a matter of ensuring the debate goes well, to seal the deal.
Research actions
[X] The Beanslide begins. Apparently Harry has been taking Scott Walker's attacks very personally. You can't blame him. You have been as well. He's a real piece of work, that slick-haired twat. Harry's got an idea to help screw him, though. (Cost: 15k upfront. Unknown amount down the road. Chance of Success: Unknown. Time to Completion: Unknown. Result: Harry Enten appeased. Otherwise unknown. This action locks until completion)
Roll = ??? The beanslide is ready to be unleashed on your order.
Fucking Harry Enten and his fucking cryptic emails! 'All is prepared'. The fuck does that mean? Well, fuck it, it is almost monday, and you don't feel like dignifying his bullshit emails with a response, you'll talk about it come monday.
[X] Expanding surveillance. Harry is apoplectic about last weeks fuck up. Splitting his time screaming at his interns, and apologising to you. which makes you feel a little better, but has also made you realise, of course he's fucking up. You need some proper spying infrastructure! To get this kind of shit off the ground, though, would bite into your cash reserves a bit. It'd also take time. (Cost: 18k per turn until completed. 6k once completed. Time: 3 turns. Result: Research stat raised to 3. Harry will have an easier time coordinating spying and subterfuge)
Roll = 18. Computer dropped during move, 5k worth of man hours and equipment lost. Harry is upset
"YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!" Is the first indication you've got that something has gone wrong, Harry doesn't swear often, but when he does….
You walk out to a scene of chaos. Palmer, or Parker, or whatever the fuck it was, is sheepishly looking down at the ground, or…..at a computer? Two halves of a computer, more like. Harry is staring at him, red in the face. You've got a vague idea of what has just happened, as Harry starts screaming. You take a sip of your coffee and step back inside. You aren't stupid, you don't want to die. You aren't getting between Harry and revenge.
LIBBY PATAKI ACTIONS (Pick One)
[X] Hit the track. Libby has apparently worked on her speaking, time to put that to the test, and have her Barnstorm on her own! (Cost: 8k. Chance of Success: 75% Result: +Momentum in [STATE].
-[X] South Carolina
-[X] Follow George to barnstorm in New Hampshire if possible
Roll = 16. Libby has an accident! Nothing Major, but George won't leave her to suffer in isolation. -1 George action next turn.
Well, Libby is out of commission again. Tripped and sprained her ankle. She'll be off her feet for a little bit, and unfortunately when George found out, he has largely refused to leave her side. Devoted, but annoying.
Libby is out for one week with a sprained ankle. George is spending as much time as possible with her (-1 Pataki action next turn)
JAMES TODD SMITH
[X] Barnstorm. Cool J is quite charismatic, you have to be, to be a prominent musician, and he's good with crowds, another positive! He's also black. That, if nothing else, will get people's attention. (Cost: 10k Chance of Success: 80% Result: Momentum in [STATE] raised. Specify State.)
-[X] Nevada
Roll = 64. JTS introduces Pataki to the people, the people are largely ambivalent.
Well, you've got some positive buzz in Nevada. Combining your editorialising and JTS's campaigning it has been a solid enough week in Nevada, nothing super fantastic, but hey, nothing went wrong, Cool J drew a crowd, and there is good media flowing out of the state. Unfortunately, this is it for Cool J, at least for now. He had a good run, at the very least!
COOL J has left the campaign.
PLANK ROLLS
July 29: People Over Politics (campaign motto, emphasizes campaign theme)
Roll = 60. Crowd in Charleston loves it! Event Costs: 120k
The first plank went over tolerably well, it didn't inject drugs into the campaign, but it kept people talking, and holding a major rally for the plank was a good idea. The crowd cheering really helped amp the atmosphere up, even if the platform hasn't revved things up much.
August 3: Safe at Home (red meat for base, emphasizes candidate's reputation)
Roll = 75 + 20. 95. And the crowd goes wild! Event Costs: 100k
While the first one fell a little flat, the second major plank announcement, in Manchester, NH, went over much better. The crowd went nuts, George got in quite a few good one-liners, and by the end of the rally, you'd noticed a huge amount of traffic on the site. Almost too much….
SUPERPAC ROLLS
People before Politics PAC: 21. Limited fundraising for PAC +24k PbP PAC cash
AAfBA PAC: 51. Heavy Campaign Fundraising. +120k Campaign funds, +250k PAC funds (Both PAC)
Not much on the PAC front this week, just gathering up funds for the next phase of campaigning, according to your superPAC guy.
FUNDRAISING ROLL
Instead of providing a description of how the fundraising went, I'll explain how the new system works (more or less). Basically, background fundraising is affected by two things. Momentum and Name Recognition. If you have high amounts of momentum, you'll be raising a shitload of background funds, unless you roll atrociously. The dice roll simply represents fickle chance. You cannot crit either way on fundraising rolls. Yet.
Roll = 1 + 34 (Momentum). 38k raised from merchandise/donations.
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Alright, now this is done, next cab off the rank is ProfitQuest Done, followed by GermanyQuest, Follow by StrayaQuest, followed by KermitQuest. See youse drongos later!
Last edited:
What and where is StrayaQuest?
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
- Location
- Leeds
Good to know we wasted that crit.
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
It isn't wasted. Social media is a powerful tool, and George is the most popular thing on Latin American social media right now.
- Location
- Leeds
Lets just hope there are a lot of overseas voters then.
- Location
- I think somewhere. I might be nowhere though
I get what you're saying, but I believe he is saying it's wasted because people not of the United States aren't our target audience nor are the generally Democratic hispanics. Who knows, it might pay off down the road in regards to foreign policy; but for now, it is meaningless. Moreso if it isn't in an English Latin American social media as that is less likely to catch on amongst our target audience if it is not in English.
- Location
- Patriarchova
Not at all. That cat is going to be Pataki's running mate, and it will win us the election.
- Location
- I think somewhere. I might be nowhere though
Pataki - Purrfect for President!
Last edited:
Aren't the Latin American pop natural Republican voters? Generally socially conservative and whatnot? Getting an in with them will be devastating for the main run, especially with Hillary's baggage.
Also handy for usurping supposedly safe Dem seats with this new Republican movement being built.
Also handy for usurping supposedly safe Dem seats with this new Republican movement being built.
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Well, to quote Ben Fernandez (First Hispanic to run for President, and a Republican) Hispanics were "natural Republicans" because they had a "centuries-old suspicion of oppressive central governments" and "learned fiscal conservatism at the knees of their mothers, who assured them that if they didn't watch their nickels they wouldn't eat"
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Right, I figure I'll give you all an explanation of where the race is, at present. I'll run down the candidates, but do you want me to just restrict it to Republicans or do Republicans, Democrats, and the random Third Party memebers?
All right, the 'Beanslide' was finished this week, so we'll have the option of unleashing it starting next week (July 27th). At this point in the real-world, Scott Walker was still at the top of the heap in Iowa, though he wasn't even slightly relevant in New Hampshire, and was likewise treading water in South Carolina. That means targeting Walker only helps open the door in Iowa, and not even that because almost all of Walker's supporters will probably go to Rubio or Cruz... or, far more likely, go to Trump. Note from those graphs, that Trump's poll numbers seem to skyrocket, right around the time that Walker's numbers collapse.
So here's my question: why did we just spend so many turns doing this? Walker's campaign is already running on fumes (he's been burning through money), and his poll numbers are like a Ponzi scheme (once it falters, the whole thing comes crashing down). Yet we just spent so many weeks of opposition research targeting someone who won't be around for long anyway. I wasn't here when that vote was taken, but yeesh people.
Anyway, for what we do with it: if it's particularly damaging, I'd suggest we release it as soon as possible (so it'll have an effect while Walker's still around), but that we do it indirectly -- because the optics of negative campaigning play really poorly, and we don't want to estrange ourselves from the Walker campaign or his supporters. Perhaps we could have Pataki do it on Twitter, but only to start things off -- the truly damaging stuff should come from third parties. That way our candidate could 'take credit' for undermining Walker, without making an enemy because it was the media who followed through and ended Walker's campaign. The important goal here is to secure Walker's endorsement, which means we can't bang him around too much.
Another "3D chess move" to consider would be encouraging Walker to endorse Cruz or Rubio. Seriously, seriously, hear me out. Trump's greatest strength in this field was the divisions between all of the other candidates in play. That's how he won so many primaries with ~30% of the vote. If Walker's endorsement can remove the deadweight, and encourage the lower-tier candidates to endorse instead of fight on, then that on its own would keep Trump from gaining too much momentum. And when it finally comes down to Cruz or Rubio vs. us, we can mop us the center and moderate Republicans, who were the 'lane' that allowed McCain and Romney to secure a victory. (Cruz would be most preferable, since he's more extreme right-wing and it'd be easier to secure moderate support with him, but we'd have a fighting chance 1-on-1 against Rubio).
Finally, and this really should go without saying, but: Trump is the frontrunner. If we want to win the nomination, we need to beat him. At a certain point, our research team in general and Harry in particular are basically deadweight if they're not helping us with that. Fine, so Harry went on his little month-long adventure pulling all kinds of damaging information against Walker -- but he was incommunicado the whole time, and only finished up once Walker's poll numbers were in freefall. Seriously, man? What do we pay you for?
I'd really like to see Laxalt BTFO Harry for this, frankly. We need a better research team, sure, but our lead researcher needs to be better about staying useful to the campaign rather than running off on personal agendas.
As I said before, the recent leaks and revelations and October SurpriseS have demonstrated one thing in particular: the utter incompetence of the Republican party establishment at conducting oppo-research against Trump. Whether it's because of actual incompetence at the job, or because of strategic incompetence at failing to dig into the frontrunner's past (while concentrating their fire on everyone else in the race), or some other cause, it was plainly unacceptable. Laxalt hasn't been involved in Presidential political campaigns before (iirc), so he shouldn't be nearly as myopic. In his world, if someone's a front-runner, you take him out, you target him. None of this hyper-complicated strategy stuff of 'consolidate your lane before competing head-to-head' -- that stuff wouldn't work, because politics is driven by media attention and the frontrunner (especially if they're a pop culture icon) will get all of it. 'Consolidate your lane' makes you a little fish -- 'head-to-head' makes you a competitor, a rival, the underdog.
TL,DR: we need oppo-research on Trump. We need it badly.
We're probably the one campaign office that would understand why that research should be the priority.
And we're probably the one campaign office best suited to do that research, because we're New York natives and know Trump's past in the city. (For instance, we or someone on our staff almost certainly know that Trump was a regular caller/guest on the Howard Stern show -- that's the local celebrity shock-jock who recorded so many of the appalling statements that were released in the past week. That includes the "yeah, my daughter is a piece of a**" as well as the "biggest perk of owning a beauty pageant is free access to the Miss Teen USA dressing room." Seriously.)
...Not sure what else needs to be said. My disgust and contempt for Trump has increased at an exponential rate, and this is one thing we can do to make him noncompetitive. Sure, there's a bunch of rednecks and misogynists and all kinds of crazies in the GOP, but do you really think they'd stand by Trump after that sort of thing was leaked? Trump has lost a whole bunch of support over the past week, and that's when the only alternative to GOP voters is Hillary. The Republican base hates her, but even so they're still willing to drop Trump because of those tapes and those comments. Leak them early, and he won't stand a chance.
- Location
- USA
I think at this early in the campaign, Republicans only would be a reasonable request.
While Bernie should be in the early stages at this point in time I don't think he has picked up enough steam at this point to be important. So unless Bernie has been having more success than he did originally, we can safely assume Hillary has the Democrat race.
As for the random third part members? Unless one of them has hit it off big, I don't think we should really bother.
Also, @The Karvoka Man, can you clarify the timing for those "PLANK ROLLS"?
According to the top of the "Turn 9: a fault in our pollsters" post, this was the week of July 20-26th
And the Planks should have been released on July 29th (Wednesday of the following week) and August 3rd (Monday of the week after that).
Does each week represent 2 or 3 weeks? (I thought it was 1 turn = 1 week...). If not, why did you roll for and give the results for two plank speechess when it wasn't yet time for them to be delivered?
According to the top of the "Turn 9: a fault in our pollsters" post, this was the week of July 20-26th
And the Planks should have been released on July 29th (Wednesday of the following week) and August 3rd (Monday of the week after that).
Does each week represent 2 or 3 weeks? (I thought it was 1 turn = 1 week...). If not, why did you roll for and give the results for two plank speechess when it wasn't yet time for them to be delivered?
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Copy-Paste error, turn 8 was July 20-27. Sorry about that. It is now August 3rd. So the second plank falls on the day before the next turn.