You get comfortable at the bar, as Jeanie brings some drinks over. She tuts at you as you down your first shot glass of the night, she's drinking one of those…..what the fuck did the kids call them? Alcopops? The weird fruity vodka things. "I still can't believe we are staying in the
wrong city. How do you screw that up?" She asks as she sits down next to you, you both have a good view of the debate screen, despite everything. You just shake your head.
"I don't fucking know. Aren't you my PA? You are supposed to be in charge of that thing." She shuts up after that. Frankly, this screw up is more on you both being grossly overworked from the weeks long build up to this fucker. You can only hope that the long days and nights were worth it.
You send some messages off, a few final ones to George, one to Libby to ensure she is ready for Twitter, getting another image of her with about eight foam fingers surrounding her, and one to parker, to make
sure he doesn't screw up the plank release. Because frankly, your deflection on abortion (and it is a deflection) won't work if that fucks up. As you and jeanie start to drink, the clock strikes nine, and the debate begins. Everything is in place. You aren't a praying man, but you
do make a quick cross, and mutter a prayer under your breath.
KELLY: It is nine p.m. on the East Coast, and the moment of truth has arrived.
Welcome to the first debate night of the 2016 presidential campaign, live from Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio.
I'm Megyn Kelly…
(APPLAUSE)
… along with my co-moderators, Brett Baier and Chris Wallace.
Tonight…
(APPLAUSE)
Nice.
Tonight, thousands of people here in the Q, along with millions of voters at home will get their very first chance to see the candidates face off in a debate, answering the questions you want answered.
BAIER: Less than a year from now, in this very arena, one of these 10 candidates or one of the six on the previous debate tonight will accept the Republican party's nomination.
(APPLAUSE)
Tonight's candidates were selected based on an average of five national polls. J-
Baier places his finger in his ear, to drown out the background noise as Fox Control informs him Governor Walker will not be attending, for unexplained reasons.
With the uh...notable omission of Governor Walker, who we've been told will
not be joining us tonight.
Are you sure? Who's replacing him? Kasich? Really?
Right, right. Just a few hours ago, you heard from the candidates ranked 12th through 17. And now, the prime-time event, the top 9, who will be joined by local governor John Kasich, who narrowly missed the cut-off for the headliner debate. Apparently his missing the undercard was intentional. We apologise for uh...not sharing this information sooner.
WALLACE: Wait, Kasich is in? Wh-
Wallace coughs uh, well… yes it is important to explain that Fox News is partnering for tonight's debate with Facebook. For the past several weeks, we hear at Fox have been asking you for questions for the candidates on Facebook. Nearly 6 million of you, 6 million, viewed the debate videos on our site, and more than 40,000 of you submitted questions: some of which you will hear us asking the candidates tonight.
There is barely audible chatter between the hosts. The only intelligible words are 'where is walker?'
KELLY: As for the candidates who will be answering those questions? Here they are….minus Governor Walker, apparently.
Positioned on the stage by how they stand in the polls, in the center of the stage tonight, businessman Donald Trump.
(APPLAUSE)
Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush.
(APPLAUSE)
Um...well, Governor Scott Walker
was going to be on Donald Trump's left, but in light of his failure to show, Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee will take his place.
(SLIGHTLY CONFUSED APPLAUSE)
Former New Y-....wait, is that right? Um….I suppose so. Former New York Governor George Pataki!
(APPLAUSE INCREASES IN VOLUME, BUT IS STILL CONFUSED)
BAIER: Neurosurgeon, Dr. Ben Carson.
(APPLAUSE)
Florida Senator Marco Rubio.
(APPLAUSE)
Texas Senator Ted Cruz.
(APPLAUSE)
WALLACE: Kentucky Senator Rand Paul.
(APPLAUSE)
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.
(APPLAUSE)
And your very own governor of Ohio, and...uh….certainly not someone we expected…
(APPLAUSE GROWS LOUDER AS KASICH ENTERS THE STAGE)
… John Kasich.
(APPLAUSE)
WALLACE: Brett — Brett, I think you would call that a home field advantage.
BAIER: It might be. It might be. We'll see.
(UNKNOWN):
Is this in the rules? An objection's coming.
BAIER:
Must be. Why else would he be up on stage?
The rules for tonight are simple. One minute for answers, 30 seconds for follow-ups. And if a candidate runs over, you'll hear this.
(BUZZER)
Pleasant, no?
We also have a big crowd here with us tonight in the home of the Cavaliers, as I mentioned.
And while we expect them…
(APPLAUSE)
… we expect them to be enthusiastic, as you heard, we don't want to take anything away from the valuable time for the candidate. So, we're looking for somewhere between a reaction to a LeBron James dunk and the Cleveland Public Library across the street.
(LAUGHTER)
Somewhere there, we'll find a balance tonight.
Without further ado, let's begin.
BAIER: Gentlemen, we know how much you love hand-raising questions. So we promise, this is the only one tonight: the only one. Is there anyone on stage, and can I see hands, who is unwilling tonight to pledge your support to the eventual nominee of the Republican party and pledge to not run an independent campaign against that person.
Again, we're looking for you to raise your hand now — raise your hand now if you won't make that pledge tonight.
Mr. Trump. Governor Pataki.
(BOOING)
Just to make sure you both understand, you are standing on a republican debate stage
TRUMP: I fully understand.
PATAKI: I fully understand.
BAIER: The place where the RNC will give the nominee the nod.
PATAKI: Yes, I understand that.
TRUMP: I fully understand.
BAIER: And that experts say an independent run would almost certainly hand the race over to Democrats and likely another Clinton.
You can't say tonight that you can make that pledge?
TRUMP: I cannot say. I have to respect the person that, if it's not me, the person that wins, if I do win, and I'm leading by quite a bit, that's what I want to do. I can totally make that pledge. If I'm the nominee, I will pledge I will not run as an independent. But — and I am discussing it with everybody, but I'm, you know, talking about a lot of leverage. We want to win, and we will win. But I want to win as the Republican. I want to run as the Republican nominee.
BAIER: I…..wait, can y-
PATAKI: Now Donny, don't get such an overinflated ego. Your lead isn't that big. To actually address what you asked Brett, instead of just chucking a word salad at you, I could see myself supporting all but one person up on the stage tonight. I
can't see myself supporting a man like Scott Walker, who brought
shame on his office by selling appointments for fundraising. If Scott Walker became the nominee, given that he embodies everything wrong with this country, almost to the level a corrupt establishment mollusc like Clinton does, I could not, in good consciousness, support him. I'd actively encourage everyone up
here to not support him.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERS)
CRUZ: Now, with all due respect, that's a load of garbage. I've been fighting against the washington establishment since day
one. Let me tell you, even if Scott Walker
somehow managed to win, well. I'll say the same thing I did about campaigning alongside Mitch McConnell in 2014. Mitch might be bad. He might be a member of the Washington cartel that's caused the American people to lose faith in their government, but even if he can't be trusted to fight for our principles one hundred percent of the time, when he does, when he
does find his spine and rediscovers his principles, at least they are
conservative. Are we really so furious that we are forgetting what we are fighting? Do you really want to throw this country back to the
Clintons?
(MUTED APPLAUSE)
PATAKI: Really? All I see is a choice between the worst secretary of state in modern american history, and someone who will sell off cabinet positions to fatten up his bank account. That's like telling a rabbit which wolf it wants to eat it. It doesn't matter if one is slightly better, that rabbit is going to get eaten either way. We don't need another four years of business as usual. We need a good, honest,
conservative government.
(LOUDER APPLAUSE)
PAUL: Oh yeah, we'll definitely get
that from the man who sold away second amendment rights to get an
abortion bill through the New York senate.
(LAUGHTER, SCATTERED BOOS)
PATAKI: Randy, calm down. You keep making that face, it'll stick that way. I signed that bill to stop fire arms falling into the hands of terrorists. The same terrorists who killed over one hundred american citizens in 1995, the same terrorists who tried to massacre hundreds in Atlanta, the same terro-
(LAUGHTER, CHEERS, SCATTERED, BUT LOUDER, BOOING)
KELLY: Gentlemen? Can we keep on topic? Donald, George, do you stand by your statement that you will n-
PAUL: Hey, no. I want to hear about how New York's least popular governor taking away people's ability to defend themselves made them safer.
(PATAKI LOOKS AMUSED)
PATAKI: Well, yes. I stand by my statement, and by my signing that legislation into law. The idea that
background checks to ensure the person buying a firearm isn't mentally ill, or has a history of religious and political extremism is a radical, anti-second amendment act is insane.Nobody on this stage has more respect for the second amendment than me. I made sure that the democrats and republicans who drafted the law didn't allow for the privacy of the purchaser anymore than necessary, and the only real change was preventing sales at gun fairs. And you kn-
KELLY: Can w-
PATAKI: You know why we did that? So that you couldn't sell a gun to someone without a licence. Are you really saying we should just let Abu bakr al-baghdadi walk into a gun fair and buy himself two automatic rifles and ammo? Without any kind of safety check? That's insane.
PAUL: You know, I'm starting to see what George is talking about. I can't in good conscious support a candidate that thinks defending the constitution is
insane.
(APPLAUSE)
Well that didn't take fucking long. What, not even the first question, and Pataki has already gotten into a fight with Rand Paul and Ted Cruz. This was going to be a fun night! "Hey, while they desperately attempt to restore some order, want me to grab some drinks?" Jeanie laughs, clearly already a bit buzzed. Whether it is the alcopops being stronger than you thought they were, or whether it is the drinks you had before the debate, you can't rightly say.
"Yeah, sure. Might as well get smashed if I have to sit through two hours of donald trump talking." She drained the last of her bright pink vodka mixer, as you went to grab some more drinks, you pondered how tonight would go, and as the bartender poured you a tray's worth of whiskey, decided to check your phone. Who
knows what weird shit has been going on?
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Can't follow George to the Q because of this stupid ankle 
At least I can spend time with #TeamPatakiOH! #SprainedAnklesSuck - Posted 7:50 pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Time for George to go! Make us proud, hubby <3 #Pataki2016 #SprainedAnklesSuck [Attached image of George and Libby kissing] - Posted 8:00pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) We've got snacks! We've got drinks! We've got Pataki foam fingers! Let's get the debate started! You can do it George! <3 #Pataki2016 #MASA - Posted 8:58pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Weird how #WickedWalker didn't show up for the debate. #ReallyMakesYouThink Fortunately, George is up there to #MakeAmericaSaneAgain - Posted 9:01pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Still no word from @ScottWalker! How strange. - Posted 9:01pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Everyone knows if you keep frowning, your face is going to get stuck like that forever! And @RandPaul I'm not sure you can afford that, with that kind of haircut! - Posted 9:05pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Can't believe 'anti-establishment' candidate suggests voting for #WickedWalker, that's just crazy! - Posted 9:04pm
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) I'm not saying @ScottWalker is secretly Clinton in a rubber mask, but I've never seen them in the same room! #PuzzlesWithPataki - Posted 9:06pm
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH-You stop laughing when the bartender coughs awkwardly. Slamming your $50 onto the counter, you chuckle as you carry the huge tray of drinks over to the table. Jeanie beams at the alcohol, quickly taking two alcopops and finishing them in a flash. Must taste pretty good!
Jeanie goes red in the face, blinking a few times to reorient herself, as you light up a cigar and start to drink up some of your whiskey.
"Once more into the breach!" You cheer in unison, getting ready to get
really fucked up. After all, worst comes to worst, you won't
remember things going wrong!
KELLY: Mr. Trump, one of the things people love about you is you speak your mind and you don't use a politician's filter. However, that is not without its downsides, in particular, when it comes to women.
You've called women you don't like "fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals."
(LAUGHTER)
Your Twitter account…
TRUMP: Only Rosie O'Donnell.
(LAUGHTER)
KELLY: No, it wasn't.
(APPLAUSE)
Your Twitter account…
(APPLAUSE)
TRUMP: Thank you.
KELLY: For the record, it was well beyond Rosie O'Donnell.
TRUMP: Yes, I'm sure it was.
KELLY: Your Twitter account has several disparaging comments about women's looks. You once told a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president, and how will you answer the charge from Hillary Clinton, who was likely to be the Democratic nominee, that you are part of the war on women?
TRUMP: I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct.
(APPLAUSE)
I've been challenged by so many people, and I don't frankly have time for total political correctness. And to be honest with you, th-
(PATAKI INTERRUPTS)
PATAKI: I can respect that Donny, but you've got issues with actually
being correct. W-
(APPLAUSE)
We as a nation don't have time to be politically correct anymore, and we don't have time for people that talk
nonsense either. We need a strong man of the people. Not a multi-billionaire who
endorses Hillary Clinton as the 'best secretary of state' we've ever had, instead of the disaster she is.
(APPLAUSE)
TRUMP: I never said that.
(MIXED BOO/APPLAUSE)
(MEGYN KELLY PAUSES TO LET THE CROWD CALM DOWN)
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) @realDonaldTrump You totally said that! #DesperateDonnysDenials [Link to news article]
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Go George!!! Tell it like it is! #Pataki2016 #MASA
KELLY: Is that all? Can w-
Yeah, I'm moving on, stop yelling in my ear. Moving on to Governor Pataki, you are not exactly what many would call a 'mainstream Conservative' and I-
PATAKI: I'm aware, the fact I'm
not a Mitch McConnell or a Jeb Bush is why I'm the fastest rising candidate in this race!
(SCATTERED CHANTS OF PAH-TAH-KI IN THE CROWD)
KELLY: Right, well. How would you address the concerns of conservative voters that you aren't some kind of New York liberal?
(BOOS, PATAKI LAUGHS)
PATAKI: That's easy, Megyn. When I was governor of New York state, the first republican governor in a decade, I might add, I cut taxes every single year, I introduced rebates for the working poor, and I'll tell you what else, when I became Governor in '94, New York was in deep, deep trouble not just financially, but socially. We'd had a liberal government for over a decade. Under Mario Cuomo, the 'liberal lion', who if you ask me, was more like a kitten, given how soft he was on crime, we-
(LAUGHTER)
We inherited a real big mess, in New York. Even with the giant mess, we cut taxes every single year, we delivered our budgets on time, and most importantly, we brought New York's credit rating out of 'junk' territory. That's just financials, though, and while financials are an important part of any conservative's life, I mean, liberals have to swipe money for their projects from
somewhere.
(LOUDER LAUGHTER)
More important is healing social ills. When I became governor in 1994, we faced an unprecedented crisis. New York was the
sixth most dangerous state in America.
Sixth! We had a statewide homicide rate comparable to
chicago. It was an absolute catastrophe, and so I did what had to be done. We cracked down hard on criminal enterprise. We brought back the death penalty, instituted hard but fair drug policing, and cracked down on illegal firearm sales. And you know what happened? Well, it turns out that not only do conservative economics
work, but being tough on crime
works. Unlike the liberal fantasy hug-in, where everyone sits around a campfire and gets along. So I'd say, to anyone who thinks I'm a liberal who's going to let criminals prowl your streets, who'll swoop in and let the government steal all your money, or let lawbreakers terrify your neighbourhood…..go to Pataki2016.com, and have a look at the
facts. You might just find something you like.
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) True fact, crime under @nydems was some of worst on record. @GovernorPataki managed to make it one of the safest states in America! #PatakiDelivers
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Srsly people, go to Pataki2016.com! We've got some great stuff on there. Like a detailed platform on restoring the American dream! And Foam Fingers!!! [Attached Image of Libby wearing three 'Pataki #1' foam fingers. One on each hand and the other on her head]
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Also hats! Don't like red? We've got allllll sorts of #MASA hats! [Attached image of Libby, having replaced the foam fingers with hats]
@TheRock (Dwayne Johnson) @LibbyPataki How much? The site is getting so much traffic it went down! Can I just buy direct from u? #FoamFingerFamine2016
WALLACE: Gentlemen, we're turning to a new subject that all of you have been talking about and some of you have been disagreeing about, and that is the issue of immigration.
Governor Bush, you released a new plan this week on illegal immigration focusing on enforcement, which some suggest is your effort to show that you're not soft on that issue.
I want to ask you about a statement that you made last year about illegal immigrants. And here's what you said. "They broke the law, but it's not a felony, it's an act of love. It's an act of commitment to your family."
Do you stand by that statement and do you stand by your support for earned legal status?
BUSH: I do. I believe that the great majority of people coming here illegally have no other option. They want to provide for their family.
But we need to control our border. It's not — it's our responsibility to pick and choose who comes in. So I — I've written a book about this and yet this week, I did come up with a comprehensive strategy that — that really mirrored what we said in the book, which is that we need to deal with E-Verify, we need to deal with people that come with a legal visa and overstay.
We need to be much more strategic on how we deal with border enforcement, border security. We need to eliminate the sanctuary cities in this country. It is ridiculous and tragic…
(APPLAUSE)
BUSH: — that people are dying because of the fact that —
TRUMP: I agree Jeb. The fact that we've got illegals gunning down American citizens in sanctuary cities is a tragedy, and it's tragic that you think a lot of those illegals are coming here because they love America th-
BUSH: Hey, now that is just uncalled for, Donald, I'm trying to speak.
TRUMP: Because I'm pretty sure Kate Steinle loved America, before
she was gunned down in cold blood by an illegal. We can't just have establishment politicians like you talking about how much they love america. We need….we need action
now. We need to cut funding to sanctuary cities, and we need to build a border wall to stop these criminals, these drug-pushers and murderers and rapists getting across the border again, and again, and again.
WALLACE: Mr. Trump, please wait your turn. Jeb?
BUSH: I….um, sorry, I've lost my place. Oh! R-right.
It's an absolute tragedy people are dying because of the fact that — that local governments are not following the federal law. There's much to do. And I think rather than talking about this as a wedge issue, which Barack Obama has done now for six long years, the next president — and I hope to be that president — will fix this once and for all so that we can turn this into a driver for high sustained economic growth.
And there should be a path to earned legal status…
(BUZZER NOISE)
for those that are here. Not — not amnesty, earned legal status, which means you pay a fine and do many things over an extended period of time.
WALLACE: Thank you, sir.
BAIER: Governor Pataki, you've faced a lot of criticism from the Republican right, especially family values politicians, like Ted Cruz, who described you as 'signing away the lives of the unborn' and you've even said you 'embrace' the 'pro-choice' label. Given that a pro-choice candidate has not won a republican primary in thirty five years, what do you have to say to your critics?
PATAKI: Well, thank you for that question Brett. Abortion has always been a highly contentious issue within this party, that's no lie. We've even got two people up here right now, who firmly believe that even if a mother would
die, taking her child with her, I might add, that we should still prevent her from getting an abortion.
(BOOS)
Now, I've always been more pragmatic than that. As a catholic, growing up as a catholic, let me tell you, abortion is an absolutely appalling thing. I'll tell you what, right now I'm the only guy up here right now with a
plan to put abortion after viability.
(BOOS)
Yes, really. Go look on our website, Pataki2016.com, and you'll see right now, under the platform, 'defending life'. Democrats always like to talk about how the GOP is full of anti-science luddites, well, I'll tell you what, not only are we
not, but they
are. Do I believe abortion should be totally banned? Absolutely not. Do I believe abortion should be banned
after viability? At twenty weeks? Of course. That shouldn't be a matter of contention. That's just basic science. So I'd say the idea that Mr. Cruz proposes, that I'm some kind of 'nancy boy liberal' that wants to murder babies, is just plain wrong. Maybe it is all that machine-gun bacon going to his head.
(LAUGHTER)
"Booooooooooooooooo, Ted Cruz sucks!" Jeanie giggles, drinking some fruity cocktail. You shake your head, and it feels….weighty...than before? Damn, you aren't even half an hour in and the alcohol is starting to affect you. You shift a bit closer to jeanie, to ensure she doesn't fall over.
"Hah, too fucking right." Relaxing, you drink some more whiskey, as she falls onto your side, black hair resting against the white sleeve of your shirt.
"Boss, you smell really fuckin' weird….." Yep. She's wasted. She's
clearly wasted, as she rubs against your shirt. "Like….cigars and whiskey."
You tap your cigar into the ashtray, looking at her incredulously, as you drink some more whiskey. "Gee, I wonder why that is." You shake your head. She was decently smart, but put some alcohol in her and she couldn't stop giggling and doing weird stuff. You give her a pat on the head and focus back on the TV
BAIER: Governor Pataki, as president, what would you do if Russian President Vladimir Putin started a campaign to destabilize NATO allies Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, mirroring the actions Putin took at the early days of Ukraine?
PATAKI: Look at the news. Like it or not, Putin is
already trying to destabilise NATO, I mean, just the other day, Russia, I mean, they were probably behind that cyber attack, and it's sad to think that right now, the Russian and Chinese government know more about Hillary Clinton's e-mail server than do the members of the United States Congress.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
And — and that has put our national security at risk. If I am president, he won't think about that. You know, Putin believes in the old Lenin adage: you probe with bayonets. When you find mush, you push. When you find steel, you stop.
Under Obama and Clinton, he found a lot of mush over the last two years. We need to have a national security that puts steel in front of our enemies. I would send weapons to Ukraine. I would work with NATO to put forces on the eastern border of Poland and the Baltic nations, and I would reinstate, put in place the...I would back the missile defense system that we had in Poland and in the Czech Republic, because as the saying goes, you give an inch, they'll take a mile.We've already given Putin too much room to move.
(APPLAUSE)
BAIER: Governor — Governor Huckabee, the culture of the American military is definitely changing. Women are moving into combat roles. Don't Ask, Don't Tell has obviously been dropped. And now Defense Secretary Ashton Carter recently directed the military to prepare for a moment when it is welcoming transgender persons to serve openly.
As commander in chief, how would you handle that?
HUCKABEE: The military is not a social experiment. The purpose of the military is kill people and break things.
(APPLAUSE, PATAKI INTERRUPTS)
PATAKI: Mike, our military exists to
protect America, Americans, and our interests abroad. It doesn't exist just to kill people and break stuff. That's doing a disservice to all of our veterans, I'm sure almost
all of them would disagree.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HUCKABEE: I mean, look. You know what I meant. I'm sorry my answer didn't meet your exacting speech standards, but everyone here knew what I meant. There is no reason to just cut in and be rude. That's just uncalled for.
(MUTED APPLAUSE)
Now, as Governor Pataki said when he so
rudely interrupted me, The purpose is to protect America. I'm not sure how paying for transgender surgery for soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines makes our country safer.
We've reduced the military by 25 percent…
(APPLAUSE)
… under President Obama. The disaster is that we've forgotten why we have a military. The purpose of it is to make sure that we protect every American, wherever that American is, and if an American is calling out for help, whether it's in Benghazi or at the border, then we ought to be able to answer it.
We've not done that because we've decimated our military. We're flying B-52s. The most recent one that was put in service was November of 1962. A lot of the B-52s we're flying, we've only got 44 that are in service combat ready, and the fact is, most of them are older than me. And that's pretty scary.
(APPLAUSE)
@THEHermanCain (Herman Cain) Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. #GOPDebate
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) Still watching? I don't blame anyone switching off after #TheHuckster 's long winded speech. Good Rebuttal from @GovernorPataki though! Love you <3
Whew. Fucking alcohol is starting to get to you something fierce. Your vision clouds over a bit as you get up to grab some more alcohol. Christ knows you need it. Coming back, Jeanie seems…..different, somehow. "Heya! Debate is kinda winding up. Do you wan-"
URP "Sorry about that. Ooooh. Is that
more alcohol?!" You chuckle, handing Jeanie some scotch as you light up another cigar, and get comfy for the closing statements. Once more, you lie back against the soft couch, and Jeanie rests against your side, so you both don't keep shifting about from all the alcohol in your bloodstream. She's more worse off than you, though, as despite everything, you can still walk in a straight line, and unless required to provide complex diction, or breathe into a breathalyser, you could still pass for sober. Barely, but still. You could
pass. Jeanie on the other hand....well, you'll probably be helping her back to the apartment. Assuming you don't just both sleep here. It wouldn't be the first time you've slept at a bar!
WALLACE: Governor Pataki, closing statement.
PATAKI: Tonight, you've all heard a lot of talk. Given those of you still watching, to listen to these closing statements, have been her for almost two hours, I'd say you've probably heard
too much talk. I'll beg your attention for just a few moments longer, to tell you, out of all the ten men up here, why you should give me a chance.
My background is different. I'm not some establishment stooge, who'll tell you everything in America is fine, when everything is so clearly, horribly broken. What I
will tell you though, is that when I look at Washington, and I hear all the big talk, and I see all the promises that radiate out of it, I tell you, I've seen it all before.
As Washington gets bigger, our taxes get higher, and a huge canyon is created, between the average american, and the washington bubble, I've seen all of that before. We had the same problem in New York, when I pushed out the 'liberal lion' Mario Cuomo. He'd raised taxes, trashed the budget, and New Yorkers, especially those living upstate, in small towns, like Peekskill, where I was born and raised, they felt more isolated and distant from their government than ever. I reversed that trend, when I was elected governor of a deep-blue state in '94. Not only was I elected, I was
re-elected, twice. I was elected because people were tired of business as usual. I say that we've had enough of talk from the Washington crowd. It's time for some action. It's time to put
People before Politics in this nation.
(APPLAUSE)
WALLACE: Thank you, Governor Pataki.
@LibbyPataki (Libby Pataki) That's a wrap people! Thanks for tuning in! Love you all! <3
You drink a toast to George, as the debate wraps up for the night. THat….that was one too many, you feel the weight of the alcohol overcome you, and you black out for a bit. Totally overwhelmed by the alcohol, not remembering what the crap you did during the night.
Like all good nights out, you've awoken with a crushing headache, and a dry mouth. Literally rolling out of the bed, you hack together a vague resemblance to a hangover cure your father taught you decades ago. It goes down like tar, but already you feel better.
Fucking christ on a bike your entire
body hurts, though. What did you get up to last night? One painful stretch later, you start to make some coffee, and then you hear a stirring noise. Was there something in your bed?
Shit. Did you steal someone's dog again?
Shitshitshitshitshi-your train of thought comes to a screeching halt when you hear the person talk. "Ugh. My fucking head. What
happened last night?"
You'd know that annoying accent anywhere. That's jeanie. And you are in your boxers. And she's in your bed. And not in her hotel room. And your entire body hurts.
Shit.
