MakeAmericaSaneAgain. A 2016 political campaign.
- Thread starter KarvokaQueen
- Start date
- Original
- Location
- Wall Gazing
Ok, that was not optimal, and we are leaving the campaign for vacation on a somewhat bad note, but we need to de-stress. Now.
It might be an idea to go to a doctor.
Dream Logic
An offseason swallow
- Location
- In transit
If I recall correctly Trump has been pulling good rolls and though he is a front runner he is certainly not invincible.
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Why did you have to remind me.
- Location
- Europe
Stop flipping out people. Our rolls are fairly good and looking back, we've had a string of crit successes which probably lowered our stress, even if we didn't see it.
Not sure if this is just Laxalt talking shit but Wallace definitely isn't a Trumpist.
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
It's Laxalt talking shit. He's a huge asshole and anyone who critcises Pataki is either a #CruzMissle or #Trumpeter
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
So. Fun fact. I haven't had a computer for most of the passed month.
I'll work on getting the update out, though. Finally have a computer that works!
I'll work on getting the update out, though. Finally have a computer that works!
- Location
- Leeds
I will accept this excuse this time. Next time please considering breaking and entering to use someone elses.
- Location
- Mists of Albion
Malaquez
[MUFFLED EUROBEAT]
- Location
- Singapore
IT LIVES!
- Location
- Mists of Albion
Very small.
Hillary has been after this nomination for years, her power and control over the Democrats and her 'image' of being the 'main' Democrat are way to strong for anyone to reliably challenge her, Bernie was a blip overall, he was never going to actually win.
Perhaps but hey, butterfly effect. She got involved in a fight earlier in this and took shots. Who know what can happen if she keep taking shots?
- Location
- Mists of Albion
Whilst Pataki vs Sanders 2016 would make me so happy that I would literally grin all day, I still doubt it will happen. Hell I have my doubts about us winning the Republican Nomination, it'll likely be harder fought than IRL but Trump will most likely win. Unfortunately.
That's what was said about Trump getting the spot too...
- Location
- Pittsburgh PA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Except the democrats actually have an official system to suppress grass roots candidates.
- Location
- California
The super delegates? In theory, yes. In practice they've just rubber stamped the result. Obama beat Clinton after all.
Stealthy
Reverently Irreverent
- Location
- Roaming
If the super delegates actually overturned the popular vote in the primaries then it'd be such a revolt that the Democrats would tank the election and tarnish their brand. They're basically useless aside from being a mechanism for political favors, and they make a nice rally cry for the liberal grassroots.
- Location
- Pittsburgh PA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Normally I'd be agreeing, but this cycle their impact had less to do with the actual vote and more to do with the perception that one candidate was in a commanding lead, especially very early in the election which in turn can effect the way that people vote.
Also if I recall correctly Clinton won the popular vote during the 2008 primary and lost due to a lack of superdelegate support as the difference between the pledged delegates was somewhere in the ballpark of 100 ...
Stealthy
Reverently Irreverent
- Location
- Roaming
Hillary only won the 2008 popular vote if you count Michigan, where Obama (among others besides Hillary) took his name off the ballot because of its disputed status. What happened is that Michigan (and Florida) broke the scheduling rules by trying to put their primaries too early in the cycle. The rules of both parties preserve Iowa first, NH second, then SC and Nevada. In 2012 Florida kept moving its primary up like assholes and kept forcing Iowa et al to move up. Florida is an asshole when it comes to elections. And so most Democratic candidates took their name off the ballot in Michigan and the state's delegates were revoked (at the time. The DNC later restored half of them). Hillary, as the only major candidate whose name was actually on the ballot, won handily. And in such a close contest, that was enough to "claim" the popular vote, even if many would accurately call that somewhat illegitimate.
If you don't include the vote totals for the Michigan and Florida beauty contests, then Obama wins by 450k.
If you don't include the vote totals for the Michigan and Florida beauty contests, then Obama wins by 450k.
Turn 12 Results.
KarvokaQueen
Queen of the Coffee Cups
- Location
- City of Coffee, Upside-down land
Turn 12 Results
HUNGARIAN MEET-AND-GREET
[X] Write-In: ask Harry (research guy) to give us Viktor Orban's background and discuss what the best 'play' is. Tell George about message, but work with him on making it work with the campaign. George will meet Orban without you -- all you know about Hungarian is that it sounds kinda like Basque -- but perhaps he might invite a major supporter or endorser to sit alongside. Try to schedule a meeting (if there is one) for the same week we release our Immigration plank.
Roll = 73. The meeting is in two weeks. That's….a good thing, right?
"So, what you are telling me, is that we've had the goddamn president of goddamn Hungary messaging this goddamn office and nobody thought it was even slightly a good idea to fucking TELL ME!" You finish your mini rant, vein popping on your head as you turn a dark, angry shade of red. Something that you are increasingly familiar with. Looking in a mirror, you hurridly smooth down hair that has started to unstick.
"Right. Well….shit. okay, Jeanie, put this Top of the fucking list for when we get back from fucking Spain. I want this shit sorted. Harry, give me a huge info dump of everything you can dig up on Viktor Orban at that time next week." Taking a nice deep breath you calm yourself down a bit, defocusing from the constant fucking surprises of this campaign and on spending a week in Spain with your friend and family. What's the fucking worst that could happen?
VIKTOR ORBAN-GEORGE PATAKI MEETING IN TWO WEEKS.
KELLY AYOTTE ANNOUNCEMENT
[X] Write-In: suggest we do a joint campaign event right before or after a future debate, so it gets maximum visibility for a national audience. With her permission, we might wait until after the New Year, scheduling the endorsement event for shortly before the voting begins. We could schedule it around the Iowa debate, or even wait until the Manchester debate right before New Hampshire's vote, for maximum effect. Alternately, we could schedule it for the October debate if she'd prefer to do it sooner.
Roll = 81. Kelly is happy with your plan, and moreover, sends a few New England donors to your door step.
Well, even with things going to shit in Connecticut it's good to know that Kelly is sticking by you. She's on board with the endorsement plan, and even helped you out at the plank launch by mentioning it in an interview and how she was 'utterly blown away' by your innovation agenda.
That's generated a lot of positive buzz for the campaign, and you've seen a strong uptick from small donors across New England. You are thinking you should start hitting the area harder for support. The state GOP parties are surprisingly strong. You've already got governors in Maine and Massachusetts, and if you play your cards right you'll have two more come November. It's way too fucking early to actually call it, but unless Phil Scott and that Snushoe guy decide not to run you've got one hell of a chance.
Those two actually have senate races, now you think about it….
You make a quick note on your pad to talk with Ralph about it before you head for Bilbao on Monday.
DECLINING +30 TO FUNDRAISING. AN IDEA IS FORMING IN YOUR HEAD.
TV INTERVIEWS
[X] Of course George is doing goddamn interviews! Set him up with at least two! (You get two free interviews, you can set the topic, keep in mind shows often have a target audience and political slant/focus. Any interview after the two free interviews will cost 1 pataki action.)
-[X] Chris Wallace - Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace (Topic: Trump)
-[X] Megyn Kelly - The Kelly File (Topic: 'Secure our Future' plank release)
Roll = 27. Fucking Chris Wallace fucking tripping you up. Fucking Trumpist bastard. FUCK HIM.
"FUCKING FUCK CHRIS WALLACE! I'LL STAB THAT BASTARD THROUGH THE EYE WITH A SPOON!" You scream, most of the interns and staffers knowing to flee for cover after you watch Chris sabotage George about Trump. Fuck that smug fuck. You ever meet him You'll set fire to his shitty, greased up hair.
You hurl your phone at the wall as Jeanie and that smug shit Parker scatter from the room, to let you blow off some steam. You can feel the vein pulsing on your head, but are too angry to give a shit, taking some deep breathes, you begin to type up a huge, angry email to that smarmy fuck Wallace.
You'll get him for this! You'll cram a fucking spoon into his eye socket and fucking force feed him his own goddamn eye!
Roll = 65. Megyn kelly goes much smoother. The pump is primed for the plank announcement.
PATAKI: I mean, right now we've got a lot of talk about a 'new deal' like Roosevelt pushed. I'd argue that the people talking about that aren't actually pretty far from wrong. Republicans like to laugh at them for being pie in the sky idealists, who think the government can solve our problems, and let's be clear, I don't think more government will fix our problems. I don't think that at all. But when an overwhelming majority of americans think our country is careening in the wrong direction, we've got to seriously re-assess our priorities.
KELLY: And how do you think we should go about that, George?
PATAKI: Well, we don't need a new deal. We need a square deal. Where the government treats the average american like a person, instead of a way to fatten its tax bank. We don't need people like Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid selling out our workers so that their big business partners can enjoy cheaper labor overseas. I want to forge a new path for American politics.
I want to go back to an age of optimism. I want to restore the age of Theodore Roosevelt. When we didn't treat progress like it was filthy. I want America to innovate again. We've been disinvesting from science and education for decades. We've got a shuttle program that relies on Russia. That speaks volumes, I think.
I've got a plan to put American innovation first. I want to secure our future, because make no mistake. We fall behind on science much further, and we might as well bend over for the China and Vladimir Putin.
Well, you are much more fucking pleased with George's performance on the Kelly File. Even if some people are calling George 'rude' for pretty much running over Kelly and not letting her speak. Fuck 'em. You like his speech. It's good.
Anyone who disagrees can go join that fuck Chris Wallace on the hair grease fire.
NEWSPAPER EDITORIAL
[X] Naturally you'll pen one this week. Things are moving so fluidly at the moment you should be able to crank one out without seriously impacting your free time. (You get one free editorial.)
-[X] Las Vegas Review Journal (Topic: 'Secure Our Future' plank release -- ask for NdGT's help in writing it?)
Roll = 19. Nope. Nope, Nope, Nope. You can't write one this week. The one time you did your blood pressure spiked.
Goddamn it. You hate being late on anything. Absolutely fucking hate it. Still, with everything that went wrong this week, it's only to be expected. Still, knowing you've barely started when the deadline passed makes your heart hurt. It makes you angry. You aren't slow. You can't be slow. Slow people get left in the dust and shit on.
And you are never going back to being slow. never.
NEVADA MEET-AND-GREET
[X] Drill him this week. It'll be a drain on your time you can't really afford, but you know what else you can't afford? Losing Nevada. That is worse than losing a few hours of sleep. (Either costs 1 campaign and Pataki action or a large increase in stress.)
-[X] Cost: 1 Campaign + 1 Pataki action
Roll = 61. Pataki is ready. As ready as he can be, at least.
You've spent the passed two days preparing George for the Meet and Greet. It's fucking essential he understands Euskara at least on a basic level, and understands to never, fucking never speak Spanish unless someone speaks Spanish to him first.
The last thing you need is some grizzled ETA veteran challenge George to a fight to the death for furthering the oppression of the fucking Basque people. That'd be a pain you can't afford.
On the bright side, it'd give the bulletproof suits a good test.
PATAKI IS READY. YOU HOPE.
CAMPAIGN ACTIONS:Pick Four. (Pick Three)
[X] Stealing endorsements. You can (hopefully) start to poach more of Scott Walker and Jeb! Bush's endorsers now that they are both clearly falling apart. You might even be able to swipe some senators/congressmen!(Cost: 15k Chance of Success 55% (Jeb) 80% (Walker) Result: Endorsers stolen from Walker/Bush. You must specify your target.)
-[X] Bush
Roll = 44. Eh. No more endorsers this week, but some strong words of support for Pataki in the long term.
Well, trying to swipe more shit off of Bush seems to have backfired. You knew you should've gone after Walker. His supporters are deserting him outside of Wisconsin, and while you've got a lot of people talking up that they are 'interested in George' they are nervous about some his positions on gay marriage and gun rights.
Still, you reckon with just a bit more pressure you can get them to go from 'leaning to George' to 'Team Pataki'. At least Jeb hasn't had another big shedding of supporters. Put that together with Senator Collins (secretly) switching sides, and of course, Kansas' own Bob Dole.
You need to figure out what to do with Bob. He's old as shit, so it isn't like you can drag his ass out of Kansas for much beyond an appearance. He's said he'll do what he can to make sure that when Kansas goes to vote on the third of August, that everyone pulls the lever for George, come hell or high water.
It's a relatively late-game state, but still a nice gesture. Having another 24 delegates sure won't fucking hurt. You get the feeling this race is going to go to the convention with no clear winner. Just a hunch you have. When it does. If it does, having every possible delegate lined up can only be good.
Same of course goes for Collins. She's hugely popular in Maine, having her on board will be a massive kick up the arse when you throw the lever and trot her out for a campaign stop.
That's weeks if not months off, though, so you'll deal with it later. Got more important shit to focus on.
+15 BONUS TO STEALING BUSH ENDORSERS NEXT TURN.
[X] Money makes the (political) world go round! You've been burning through your cash reserves like fucking crazy. You can't keep this spending pattern up for much longer, so clearly what you need to do is hit up the good old fundraising circuit. Get some more raw cash injected into the campaign! (Cost: Free. Chance of Success: 60% Result: +Unknown amount of K. Possible major fundraiser contacted. Specify State)
-[X] New York
Roll = 83. Things go nice and smooth. You've made some solid hook ups, and some Pataki campaign appearances at high profile dinners are getting the good word out. Cool J has taken some time out of his schedule to wow music executives to contribute to the campaign.
Well, after that fucking disaster in CT, it's nice to have some fucking good news, and when you talk with Cool J about his lobbying for the campaign with some very wealthy music executives makes your heart stop hurting for a bit. Hell, when you get the news that he's gotten someone from a music company you don't recognise to do a "bundle" of donations to the tune of about 100k. Lump that together with some fundraising dinners across New York state, and you've cleaned up a nice, healthy 255k from New York this week.
255K RAISED FROM MUSIC INDUSTRY AND DONATION DRIVES/FUNDRAISING DINNERS.
[X] Money makes the (political) world go round! You've been burning through your cash reserves like fucking crazy. You can't keep this spending pattern up for much longer, so clearly what you need to do is hit up the good old fundraising circuit. Get some more raw cash injected into the campaign! (Cost: Free. Chance of Success: 60% Result: +Unknown amount of K. Possible major fundraiser contacted. Specify State)
-[X] Connecticut
Roll = 3. Crit fail. Sabotaged! FUCK BUSH.
Sabotage. That's the only way you can make any goddamn sense of what has happened to you in Connecticut. That ratfucking bastard of a Bush, Jebediah, or whatever that stupid shortening stands for, has fucked you in CT. You've gotten a strongly worded letter from the CT GOP chief about how they don't appreciate you taking away funds from their congressional campaigns.
Goddamn it you can't even fucking publish this to screw over that nebbish, glasses wearing fuck.
Apparently you've displeased them so much they don't want George stomping around in their shitty little state for the foreseeable future. And they definitely don't want George trying to take away their precious donors.
As if they relied on in-state donors to fund their stupid, pointless vanity contests.
You'll show those fucks.
Connecticut GOP have locked you out. In theory.
RESEARCH TEAM: Pick Three.
[X] Hiring janitors. Harry has some ideas about tightening up security around the office. That starts with hiring a couple of new staff to clean out the office at night. After all, big office like yours needs some cleaning staff! Nobody questions the people emptying the bins at midnight, if they wear the right uniform, after all. (Cost: 10k recruitment per team. 6k per team per turn.)
Roll = 59. Janitors hired.
"So….what you are saying, is that we hired a bunch of cleaning staff…..why? You still haven't said anything about why you keep pushing this, Harry." Enten looks up from his paper. You are in the unique position of not being the guy behind the desk. You don't like it.
"Simple, boss. When was the last time you saw a Janitor emptying bins and dusting down an office and went 'Gee, them being in there looks really suspicious'?" You shrug. You can't say you've ever through a janitor looked too suspicious. Aside from that guy with the pedo moustache from when you were at UNLV. He was goddamn creepy. Just thinking about him makes your moustache twitch.
"I dunno. I guess….never?" Harry snaps his paper shut, and rocks forward, getting weird ass grin he has whenever he thinks he's being clever.
"Exactly! So if we have people who work for us a janitors, we can have them go through people's rooms and turn up anything suspicious!" You've got to admit, that doesn't sound like a completely horrible plan. It doesn't sound good but you'll take it. If only to get that creepy fucking smile off Harry's face.
"I see...Well, what could possibly go wrong?" You get up from the uncomfortable chair and shake Harry's hand, before heading back to your own office to contemplate this. You could definitely use it to your advantage.
ANTI-SPY SPIES RECRUITED.
[X] Infiltrators Infiltrating. Well, the upgrades have cost a pretty fucking penny, but Harry assures you he is confident that now things are fixed up in HQ, he can co-ordinate infiltration efforts much more effectively.(Cost: 12k Chance of Success: 75% Time to Completion: Two Weeks Result: Information on a specific campaign gained. Specify Candidate. 25% of failure being negated.)
-[X] Target: Chris Christie
Roll = 44. Christie infrastructure/Fundraising revealed.
Well, you've got the numbers in for Christie, and it is worse than you feared. Much worse. Christie's fundraising numbers are impressive, and while his infrastructure is predictably utter shit, it is improving, and after gaining no boost from the debate, Christie seems to regard that as a priority.
Reading Harry's condensed report on Christie, though, you are noticing two big themes he wants to do some research on next week.
The fort lee bridge closure.
You had to google that to figure out what the fuck it was, but apparently some wizards in Christie's staff decided to shut down a bridge because some communist refused to endorse him. Seems like a non-story to you, but hey. Harry seems to think looking it up could be important, so you might as well let him.
HARRY IS READY FOR MORE. CHRISTIE INFRASTRUCTURE FOR NH REVEALED. (Check 'The Campaign' Threadmark)
[X] Improving State Polling. Harry reckons with his office expanded, and with some more staff, he can really make a go at tidying up your private polling in New Hampshire, Iowa, South Carolina and Nevada. It wouldn't even be super expensive. allegedly. (Cost: 10k Time to Completion: 2 turns Result: Polling staff expanded further. State polls improved.)
Roll = 32. A computer virus costs you a few days progress on polling improvements, which cost money to fix.
Fucking interns. They managed to download a virus onto Harry's computer which has cost you a few days progress. At least it wasn't sabotage. Because you know the intern, and you know they are a goddamn moron.
They are a goddamn moron you can't get rid of for at least another three months, but hey. Who gives a shit? You just need to keep them away from anything important.
-3K IN MAN HOURS LOST
THE A-LIST: Pick One
[X] Senate. Where the big decisions are made. Partly, you want him to focus here because most people only care about the senate, and partly, it is because it is much, much easier to co-ordinate in the short and long term. (Ralph Diammetra and the A-List team will focus on scoping out the senate races for A-list candidates and potential Pataki allies)
Roll = N/A. Ralph has prepared his skeleton crew for focus on upcoming senate races and primaries.
Ralph nervously knocks on your door. Your mood has been foul ever since Connecticut on Tuesday and that greasy fuck Chris Wallace baited George the next day. You are smouldering just like your cigar is as he enters your office. You've burned through two humidors and an entire shelf of whiskey. Usually you'd be drunk, but you are too fucking angry to be drunk.
"Ralph! You better be coming in with some good goddamn news. I've had it up to here with this fucking campaign." You curse, adjusting on your seat, as the nervous, nebbish man scurries over to the chair opposite your desk. He's holding a huge bunch of files. Because of course he is. He spreads a bunch across your desk, and then sits back, adjusting his wire-frame glasses.
"I...uh...y'know. I think...ah...I think…" He splutters, and you just get angrier, and angrier. You don't have time for this shit. You grab one of the files, labeled 'Maryland'. Cracking it open you see a list of potential candidates, both democratic and republican, and a pretty in depth look at Barbara Mikulski's scandal ridden tenure.
"Fuckin' out with it Diammetra. I don't have all fucking week for you to stutter out a sentence." You clench your cigar between your teeth as you flip through the half-dozen pages of analysis by Ralph and one of his staffers. It's not half fucking bad. The general thrust of it is basically that if we can get a solid candidate, and the democrats put up that crazy hyper-progressive chick from Maryland's 4th.
"I..uh...ahem. Right, sorry. Well, there are a lot of really important races up this year. We've got some….some real high risk ones. We could..uh..Mitch McConnell, I mean, could lose his position as the Senate Majority leader. A-and if...I mean, when we win the Presidency, that'd be real...aheh. Really bad. We'd be in deep, deep trouble. It'd be like...uh….Obama after 2014."
Yeah, you can fucking see that. Given you are going to be slamming up against Mitch McConnell already. You could use some friendly senators when you go into the White House. "Okay, I can fuckin' see that. Now, you got much more of these files?" You place your cigar in the tray, calming down a bit as you get some more good news.
"Oh! Ah...um, yeah. I've got lots of them. We can...uh….go over them when you get back. You could...you could even take one or two. Just don't lose them! It uh….it took all week to put these together….." He seems nervous, but you slam the folder shut, and send him out of your office. You'll think about taking some with you so you can do some in-depth reading while you sun yourself in Bilbao and let this fucking awful week go away.
RALPH HAS CREATED A FAIRLY COMPREHENSIVE SENATE LIST
PATAKI ACTIONS:Pick Three. Pick Two. One locked. )
[X] Prep for the plank launch. You've been talking with Neil, and while you are fairly confident George is fired up enough, it couldn't hurt to have him and Neil go over the routine more than just a handful of times. You can even get some of the interns and staffers to roleplay hecklers and such. I mean, this is a university crowd, and George is a republican.
Roll = 72. George is rested and ready for any disruptions at the launch.
You hate waking up early and taking time off of answering work emails, but as you drag your ass into the office at 6am, you notice George is waiting, and frustratingly peppy about everything.
It takes nearly six hours of going through the plan, dragging most of your core campaign staff into a converted 'auditorium' so you can practice the launch. They do a decent job at heckling, and Neil is a great help shoring up George on shit he's no good at.
All in all, you are actually decently excited to see how the launch goes! What could possibly go wrong? All you are doing is taking a Republican to a University Campus in New Hampshire.
[X] Meeting Bob and Sue. George is going to be busy flying to Kansas and then DC to meet up with potential endorsers. The big ones. Robert Dole and Susan Collins. Hopefully, this goes well. LOCKED ACTION.
Roll = 60. A recruit, and other fun things.
Well, the double meetings went fabulously. More or less. Bob Dole didn't follow the plan at fucking all though. Which is not as bad as if Collins hadn't. Bob's been running around Kansas like a headless chicken drumming up support for George, which you'd expected him to do in the new year, not now.
Of course, while he's off doing his thing around Kansas you've noticed a big kick up the ass in money. It helped he did an interview about how, and you are quoting here, 'George Pataki has the kind of innovative agenda that the Republican party needs.' Which is good. Because given George's main schtick in the debates was 'Look how different I am to the establishment' having Bob try and win them over will be essential. It's also gotten you recruits in Kansas you can, you suppose, aim at surrounding states in the hope that they can….y'know, achieve something in a state that'll actually matter.
Because Christ on a bike, if you are in a position where you need hard-core conservative Kansas to vote for you overwhelmingly, you are already up shit creek without a paddle. That's Cruz and Frothy's base of support. Not yours.
SUSAN COLLINS IS ON BOARD TEAM PATAKI. ENDORSEMENT CAN BE FIRED AT ANY POINT. BOB DOLE HAS SET UP HIS OWN INFRASTRUCTURE IN KANSAS.
[X] Storming the Ranch. It's about time George visited Nevada. It'd be good to familiarise him with the heat for when he visits for the fry up in two weeks. Can't afford to fuck that up, after all.
Roll = 92. George makes a great many friends and starts some waves in Nevada.
PATAKI: Hey! Thank-Thank you everyone for turning out. What a huge crowd! So glad to see so many young faces. It really excites me to know that the Republican party isn't as old and decrepit as I am.
(LAUGHTER)
Seriously though, it's great to see so many people out here. I'm so glad that we are drawing such big crowds to our rallies. We draw the biggest, best crowds. It's absolutely fantastic. I mean, we haven't had anyone start fights. Not like someone we all know.
(LAUGHTER)
Pataki seems to have been having a good time in Nevada. Not that you care. No, what you care about is how he looks having fun in Nevada. He looks good.Presidential, even. Making friends, shaking hands, and giving a few stump speeches at rallies. You'll need to organise something proper and big in Nevada at some point. Maybe the week after the Basque BBQ. Assuming everything goes well.
It had fucking better, given you spent two whole fucking days teaching George the basics of Euskara. And to never, ever speak Spanish at a Basque unless they speak it first. You don't need some ex-ETA nutcase challenging George to an honor duel or some shit. That gives you a headache just thinking about it.
PATAKI HAS BOOSTED MOMENTUM IN NEVADA AND RECRUITED A FOOT SOLDIER FOR NV.
LIBBY PATAKI ACTIONS: Pick One.
[X] Twitterstorm. Libby did a damn good job on twitter during the debate. Pulled no punches, and helped reinforce you during the (very bad showing) against Rand. Maybe just have her accompany George on the trail and tweet about goings on? (Cost: Free Chance of Success: 65% Result: Libby keeps up your Twitter-based momentum.)
Roll = 41. Libby hits Up the Twittersphere, donations are up this month!
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) Hello New Hampshire! Happy to be in the granite state with the hubby and campaign staff. #TeamPataki members, retweet us restaurant ideas! {Attached images are a snapshot from the plane window, and a Libby and George selfie}
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) Some of the people at UNH are interesting.... {Video Attached of Libby filming over the shoulder as protestors shout}
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) UNH was a great crowd! Despite some rudeness. Happy to meet the women of #TeamPatakiNH ! Go girls! #Pataki2016 {Attached is an image of Libby posing with young female Pataki Campaign volunteers.}
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) Hah! And people say I can't dance. George and I had a great time, THANK YOU NEW HAMPSHIRE! #Pataki2016 #WhiteDancing {Attached image of Libby getting down with the beat at a post plank launch party}
AN: Might add more tweets if you guys liked this quick little slice.
PLANK LAUNCH = 98 + 30. Pusillanimous Protesters get punished by Proud Pataki.
"Hell no, we won't go! No racists welcome here!" The woman with bright pink hair, smelling like a marijuana farm chants as she and her co-conspirators block your way into the hall where George and Neil are supposed to be holding a talk on innovation in America. And talking about the plank.
"Look, Lady. I don't know why you are so damn upset, but could you please let the Latinos and the African-Americans into the conference hall, at least?" You hate calling yourself a Latino, but identity politics is the only language these beasts understand!
"Hell no, we won't go! No White Supremacists on campus!" You pinch the bridge of your nose, rubbing it a bit to calm yourself. Letting out a sharp breath, you look the large crowd of oversized White chicks and undersized White Guys. Fucking hell. University ain't what you remember, that's for fucking sure.
"Yeah. The Latino and the black guy are White Supremacists. Whatever helps ya fucking sleep at night." You storm off, not wanting to deal with this shit. How dare some assholes barricade you! What a bunch a shitheads!
"You know, with the right physics object, we could crash right through their blockade." Tyson offers, as you make your way over to George. You both laugh at Neil's joke, but personally, you are considering it.
"Well, I can see the protesters won't be leaving" Their constant, aggressive shouting is giving you a headache, as you nod.
"Yeah, looks like. Hey, at least we've drawn a huge crowd!" You gesture to all the people grumbling about the protestors. You weren't supposed to start for another half hour, but the promise of getting to meet NdG and George has certainly brought people out. Both of them nod, and turn to meet the crowd, shaking hands and smiling as someone taps your shoulder.
"Hello, I'm Sheila Reid, with Rebel Media. Are you..?" She looks at you, and then to a piece of paper in her hand, then back to you, then back to the paper.
"I'm Peter Laxalt, if that's who you are after." She nods enthusiastically, and the camera man practically shoves his oversized, nineties era camera in your face.
"It is! We wanted to interview you about the campus protestors." You grimace at that, having to remind yourself to take deep breaths and not swear during interviews, it's harder than most people think. Given your vocabulary is about 60-65% swear words of various languages.
"Suuuuure. Well, what did you want to know?" She grins….you hate to say evilly (Who the fuck are you kidding, no you don't.), darkly. Darkly works. She looks like a cat that caught a mouse. If she thinks she can just fucking bait you, she's going to be sorely mistaken.
You are relaxing in the crowd as Neil finishes his part of the speech, when suddenly, you hear a noise. It's a familiar noise, as you'd been forced to listen to it less than an hour previously. Turning around, you spot it.
It's that fucking bitch from this morning! Christ! "DOWN WITH RACISM!" She yells as several others get up and start chanting. Goddamn white people! Neil shoots her a dark look as her compatriots chant and….and fucking flail like lunatics. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, what is wrong with these people?!
Despite the interruption, Neil falls back to his seat to thunderous applause, and to your amusement it drowns out the chanting for a few moments, lunatics going red in the face from all the hot air they are blowing.
George ascends the stage to similar applause, and waits for it to die down. Waving and Pointing at people as it does. When it slows down and stops the chanting keeps going. 'No room for racism' this and 'Black lives matter' that. You've never seen such fuckery.
"Ma'am. We'll be opening the floor in a few minutes. If you could refrain from calling everyone you don't like a racist, that'd be just fantastic. If you can't, we can have security escort you to the nearest children's playground." The laughter from Pataki's retort is reassuring, as is her sudden snapping back of 'fuck you!' and giving him the finger before storming out. Looking over to where Rebel Media is camped out, they seem very entertained by all this bullshit.
Fuck knows what they plan on doing.
All in all you think the rally went well, despite the best efforts of some social justice fuckheads to disrupt it. Of course, you only think it went pretty well because you don't pay attention to alternative media. You have people for that. Namely, you have a person for that.
"Peterson! Get your ass in here!" Parker walked in nervously. You can see Jeanie rolling her eyes at you refusal to say his actual last name. Never mind his first name, which you've long since forgotten.
"Uh...y-yes sir…" You look him over. Nebbish, nervous, wearing that stupid camera around his neck like this is some kind of fucking movie and something really photogenic is about to happen.
"What the fuck is Rebel Media. You're Canadian, aren't you? All I know is it's Canadian." He takes a step back, sputtering a bit under your harsh gaze as he tried to find an answer. Clearly, you didn't keep him around for his smarts.
"It's...uh...I'm...I'm not Canadian, sir. S-sorry…" You light up a cigar and he flinches, going visibly pale when you push a small one his way. You know, that he knows, what rebel media is. You think. It's got a bunch of young reporters and shit, and Parker is young. So he must know!
"Of course you aren't. Canadians are useful. They make maple syrup and moose burgers. You are useless to me unless you can tell me what Rebel Media is in the next thirty goddamn seconds!" He awkwardly falls into the seat, coughing violently when you exhale in his face. Grinning darkly, it just puts him off further as he picks up the thin cigar.
"I...oh..um...I might've...heard of it? It's….it's an alternative media outlet l-li-" You cut him off there.
"Alternative? What? Like that rag Huffington runs? Or….what the fuck was it….gateway pundit?" Parker goes red in the face, shaking his head.
"N-no, sir! I mean...I mean kind of, yes. It's the same...uh...kind of thing. Lots of emotive political journalism to...to reinforce an ideology." Ah. One of those outfits. Fantastic! You can finally have your own Breitbart!
FUNDRAISING ROLL
Roll = 66 + 30 + 200 = 296k raised.
You never thought you'd be singing the praises of small donors, but here you fucking are! They really pulled through for you this week, and hopefully that's a reliable trend towards the future. Of course you do now need to buy more #MASA and Pataki 2016 shirts. Thank God for Dwayne tweeting himself in one.
SUPERPAC ROLL
PbP PAC = 50. Anti-Trump paper buy in SC -3 Trump Momentum (SC) -125k
AAfBA PAC = 79. Pro-Pataki Television buy IA, NH, SC, NV. +12 Pataki Momentum (IA, NH) +6 Momentum (SC) +4 Momentum (NV) -1m
Well, The SuperPAC guys did there thing. Apparently they are just waiting for the word to go on A-List, but instead of sitting on their asses, this week they've both done ad buys. PbP attacking Trump, and AAfBA boosting Pataki.
HUNGARIAN MEET-AND-GREET
[X] Write-In: ask Harry (research guy) to give us Viktor Orban's background and discuss what the best 'play' is. Tell George about message, but work with him on making it work with the campaign. George will meet Orban without you -- all you know about Hungarian is that it sounds kinda like Basque -- but perhaps he might invite a major supporter or endorser to sit alongside. Try to schedule a meeting (if there is one) for the same week we release our Immigration plank.
Roll = 73. The meeting is in two weeks. That's….a good thing, right?
"So, what you are telling me, is that we've had the goddamn president of goddamn Hungary messaging this goddamn office and nobody thought it was even slightly a good idea to fucking TELL ME!" You finish your mini rant, vein popping on your head as you turn a dark, angry shade of red. Something that you are increasingly familiar with. Looking in a mirror, you hurridly smooth down hair that has started to unstick.
"Right. Well….shit. okay, Jeanie, put this Top of the fucking list for when we get back from fucking Spain. I want this shit sorted. Harry, give me a huge info dump of everything you can dig up on Viktor Orban at that time next week." Taking a nice deep breath you calm yourself down a bit, defocusing from the constant fucking surprises of this campaign and on spending a week in Spain with your friend and family. What's the fucking worst that could happen?
VIKTOR ORBAN-GEORGE PATAKI MEETING IN TWO WEEKS.
KELLY AYOTTE ANNOUNCEMENT
[X] Write-In: suggest we do a joint campaign event right before or after a future debate, so it gets maximum visibility for a national audience. With her permission, we might wait until after the New Year, scheduling the endorsement event for shortly before the voting begins. We could schedule it around the Iowa debate, or even wait until the Manchester debate right before New Hampshire's vote, for maximum effect. Alternately, we could schedule it for the October debate if she'd prefer to do it sooner.
Roll = 81. Kelly is happy with your plan, and moreover, sends a few New England donors to your door step.
Well, even with things going to shit in Connecticut it's good to know that Kelly is sticking by you. She's on board with the endorsement plan, and even helped you out at the plank launch by mentioning it in an interview and how she was 'utterly blown away' by your innovation agenda.
That's generated a lot of positive buzz for the campaign, and you've seen a strong uptick from small donors across New England. You are thinking you should start hitting the area harder for support. The state GOP parties are surprisingly strong. You've already got governors in Maine and Massachusetts, and if you play your cards right you'll have two more come November. It's way too fucking early to actually call it, but unless Phil Scott and that Snushoe guy decide not to run you've got one hell of a chance.
Those two actually have senate races, now you think about it….
You make a quick note on your pad to talk with Ralph about it before you head for Bilbao on Monday.
DECLINING +30 TO FUNDRAISING. AN IDEA IS FORMING IN YOUR HEAD.
TV INTERVIEWS
[X] Of course George is doing goddamn interviews! Set him up with at least two! (You get two free interviews, you can set the topic, keep in mind shows often have a target audience and political slant/focus. Any interview after the two free interviews will cost 1 pataki action.)
-[X] Chris Wallace - Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace (Topic: Trump)
-[X] Megyn Kelly - The Kelly File (Topic: 'Secure our Future' plank release)
Roll = 27. Fucking Chris Wallace fucking tripping you up. Fucking Trumpist bastard. FUCK HIM.
"FUCKING FUCK CHRIS WALLACE! I'LL STAB THAT BASTARD THROUGH THE EYE WITH A SPOON!" You scream, most of the interns and staffers knowing to flee for cover after you watch Chris sabotage George about Trump. Fuck that smug fuck. You ever meet him You'll set fire to his shitty, greased up hair.
You hurl your phone at the wall as Jeanie and that smug shit Parker scatter from the room, to let you blow off some steam. You can feel the vein pulsing on your head, but are too angry to give a shit, taking some deep breathes, you begin to type up a huge, angry email to that smarmy fuck Wallace.
You'll get him for this! You'll cram a fucking spoon into his eye socket and fucking force feed him his own goddamn eye!
Roll = 65. Megyn kelly goes much smoother. The pump is primed for the plank announcement.
PATAKI: I mean, right now we've got a lot of talk about a 'new deal' like Roosevelt pushed. I'd argue that the people talking about that aren't actually pretty far from wrong. Republicans like to laugh at them for being pie in the sky idealists, who think the government can solve our problems, and let's be clear, I don't think more government will fix our problems. I don't think that at all. But when an overwhelming majority of americans think our country is careening in the wrong direction, we've got to seriously re-assess our priorities.
KELLY: And how do you think we should go about that, George?
PATAKI: Well, we don't need a new deal. We need a square deal. Where the government treats the average american like a person, instead of a way to fatten its tax bank. We don't need people like Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid selling out our workers so that their big business partners can enjoy cheaper labor overseas. I want to forge a new path for American politics.
I want to go back to an age of optimism. I want to restore the age of Theodore Roosevelt. When we didn't treat progress like it was filthy. I want America to innovate again. We've been disinvesting from science and education for decades. We've got a shuttle program that relies on Russia. That speaks volumes, I think.
I've got a plan to put American innovation first. I want to secure our future, because make no mistake. We fall behind on science much further, and we might as well bend over for the China and Vladimir Putin.
Well, you are much more fucking pleased with George's performance on the Kelly File. Even if some people are calling George 'rude' for pretty much running over Kelly and not letting her speak. Fuck 'em. You like his speech. It's good.
Anyone who disagrees can go join that fuck Chris Wallace on the hair grease fire.
NEWSPAPER EDITORIAL
[X] Naturally you'll pen one this week. Things are moving so fluidly at the moment you should be able to crank one out without seriously impacting your free time. (You get one free editorial.)
-[X] Las Vegas Review Journal (Topic: 'Secure Our Future' plank release -- ask for NdGT's help in writing it?)
Roll = 19. Nope. Nope, Nope, Nope. You can't write one this week. The one time you did your blood pressure spiked.
Goddamn it. You hate being late on anything. Absolutely fucking hate it. Still, with everything that went wrong this week, it's only to be expected. Still, knowing you've barely started when the deadline passed makes your heart hurt. It makes you angry. You aren't slow. You can't be slow. Slow people get left in the dust and shit on.
And you are never going back to being slow. never.
NEVADA MEET-AND-GREET
[X] Drill him this week. It'll be a drain on your time you can't really afford, but you know what else you can't afford? Losing Nevada. That is worse than losing a few hours of sleep. (Either costs 1 campaign and Pataki action or a large increase in stress.)
-[X] Cost: 1 Campaign + 1 Pataki action
Roll = 61. Pataki is ready. As ready as he can be, at least.
You've spent the passed two days preparing George for the Meet and Greet. It's fucking essential he understands Euskara at least on a basic level, and understands to never, fucking never speak Spanish unless someone speaks Spanish to him first.
The last thing you need is some grizzled ETA veteran challenge George to a fight to the death for furthering the oppression of the fucking Basque people. That'd be a pain you can't afford.
On the bright side, it'd give the bulletproof suits a good test.
PATAKI IS READY. YOU HOPE.
CAMPAIGN ACTIONS:
[X] Stealing endorsements. You can (hopefully) start to poach more of Scott Walker and Jeb! Bush's endorsers now that they are both clearly falling apart. You might even be able to swipe some senators/congressmen!(Cost: 15k Chance of Success 55% (Jeb) 80% (Walker) Result: Endorsers stolen from Walker/Bush. You must specify your target.)
-[X] Bush
Roll = 44. Eh. No more endorsers this week, but some strong words of support for Pataki in the long term.
Well, trying to swipe more shit off of Bush seems to have backfired. You knew you should've gone after Walker. His supporters are deserting him outside of Wisconsin, and while you've got a lot of people talking up that they are 'interested in George' they are nervous about some his positions on gay marriage and gun rights.
Still, you reckon with just a bit more pressure you can get them to go from 'leaning to George' to 'Team Pataki'. At least Jeb hasn't had another big shedding of supporters. Put that together with Senator Collins (secretly) switching sides, and of course, Kansas' own Bob Dole.
You need to figure out what to do with Bob. He's old as shit, so it isn't like you can drag his ass out of Kansas for much beyond an appearance. He's said he'll do what he can to make sure that when Kansas goes to vote on the third of August, that everyone pulls the lever for George, come hell or high water.
It's a relatively late-game state, but still a nice gesture. Having another 24 delegates sure won't fucking hurt. You get the feeling this race is going to go to the convention with no clear winner. Just a hunch you have. When it does. If it does, having every possible delegate lined up can only be good.
Same of course goes for Collins. She's hugely popular in Maine, having her on board will be a massive kick up the arse when you throw the lever and trot her out for a campaign stop.
That's weeks if not months off, though, so you'll deal with it later. Got more important shit to focus on.
+15 BONUS TO STEALING BUSH ENDORSERS NEXT TURN.
[X] Money makes the (political) world go round! You've been burning through your cash reserves like fucking crazy. You can't keep this spending pattern up for much longer, so clearly what you need to do is hit up the good old fundraising circuit. Get some more raw cash injected into the campaign! (Cost: Free. Chance of Success: 60% Result: +Unknown amount of K. Possible major fundraiser contacted. Specify State)
-[X] New York
Roll = 83. Things go nice and smooth. You've made some solid hook ups, and some Pataki campaign appearances at high profile dinners are getting the good word out. Cool J has taken some time out of his schedule to wow music executives to contribute to the campaign.
Well, after that fucking disaster in CT, it's nice to have some fucking good news, and when you talk with Cool J about his lobbying for the campaign with some very wealthy music executives makes your heart stop hurting for a bit. Hell, when you get the news that he's gotten someone from a music company you don't recognise to do a "bundle" of donations to the tune of about 100k. Lump that together with some fundraising dinners across New York state, and you've cleaned up a nice, healthy 255k from New York this week.
255K RAISED FROM MUSIC INDUSTRY AND DONATION DRIVES/FUNDRAISING DINNERS.
[X] Money makes the (political) world go round! You've been burning through your cash reserves like fucking crazy. You can't keep this spending pattern up for much longer, so clearly what you need to do is hit up the good old fundraising circuit. Get some more raw cash injected into the campaign! (Cost: Free. Chance of Success: 60% Result: +Unknown amount of K. Possible major fundraiser contacted. Specify State)
-[X] Connecticut
Roll = 3. Crit fail. Sabotaged! FUCK BUSH.
Sabotage. That's the only way you can make any goddamn sense of what has happened to you in Connecticut. That ratfucking bastard of a Bush, Jebediah, or whatever that stupid shortening stands for, has fucked you in CT. You've gotten a strongly worded letter from the CT GOP chief about how they don't appreciate you taking away funds from their congressional campaigns.
Goddamn it you can't even fucking publish this to screw over that nebbish, glasses wearing fuck.
Apparently you've displeased them so much they don't want George stomping around in their shitty little state for the foreseeable future. And they definitely don't want George trying to take away their precious donors.
As if they relied on in-state donors to fund their stupid, pointless vanity contests.
You'll show those fucks.
Connecticut GOP have locked you out. In theory.
RESEARCH TEAM: Pick Three.
[X] Hiring janitors. Harry has some ideas about tightening up security around the office. That starts with hiring a couple of new staff to clean out the office at night. After all, big office like yours needs some cleaning staff! Nobody questions the people emptying the bins at midnight, if they wear the right uniform, after all. (Cost: 10k recruitment per team. 6k per team per turn.)
Roll = 59. Janitors hired.
"So….what you are saying, is that we hired a bunch of cleaning staff…..why? You still haven't said anything about why you keep pushing this, Harry." Enten looks up from his paper. You are in the unique position of not being the guy behind the desk. You don't like it.
"Simple, boss. When was the last time you saw a Janitor emptying bins and dusting down an office and went 'Gee, them being in there looks really suspicious'?" You shrug. You can't say you've ever through a janitor looked too suspicious. Aside from that guy with the pedo moustache from when you were at UNLV. He was goddamn creepy. Just thinking about him makes your moustache twitch.
"I dunno. I guess….never?" Harry snaps his paper shut, and rocks forward, getting weird ass grin he has whenever he thinks he's being clever.
"Exactly! So if we have people who work for us a janitors, we can have them go through people's rooms and turn up anything suspicious!" You've got to admit, that doesn't sound like a completely horrible plan. It doesn't sound good but you'll take it. If only to get that creepy fucking smile off Harry's face.
"I see...Well, what could possibly go wrong?" You get up from the uncomfortable chair and shake Harry's hand, before heading back to your own office to contemplate this. You could definitely use it to your advantage.
ANTI-SPY SPIES RECRUITED.
[X] Infiltrators Infiltrating. Well, the upgrades have cost a pretty fucking penny, but Harry assures you he is confident that now things are fixed up in HQ, he can co-ordinate infiltration efforts much more effectively.(Cost: 12k Chance of Success: 75% Time to Completion: Two Weeks Result: Information on a specific campaign gained. Specify Candidate. 25% of failure being negated.)
-[X] Target: Chris Christie
Roll = 44. Christie infrastructure/Fundraising revealed.
Well, you've got the numbers in for Christie, and it is worse than you feared. Much worse. Christie's fundraising numbers are impressive, and while his infrastructure is predictably utter shit, it is improving, and after gaining no boost from the debate, Christie seems to regard that as a priority.
Reading Harry's condensed report on Christie, though, you are noticing two big themes he wants to do some research on next week.
The fort lee bridge closure.
You had to google that to figure out what the fuck it was, but apparently some wizards in Christie's staff decided to shut down a bridge because some communist refused to endorse him. Seems like a non-story to you, but hey. Harry seems to think looking it up could be important, so you might as well let him.
HARRY IS READY FOR MORE. CHRISTIE INFRASTRUCTURE FOR NH REVEALED. (Check 'The Campaign' Threadmark)
[X] Improving State Polling. Harry reckons with his office expanded, and with some more staff, he can really make a go at tidying up your private polling in New Hampshire, Iowa, South Carolina and Nevada. It wouldn't even be super expensive. allegedly. (Cost: 10k Time to Completion: 2 turns Result: Polling staff expanded further. State polls improved.)
Roll = 32. A computer virus costs you a few days progress on polling improvements, which cost money to fix.
Fucking interns. They managed to download a virus onto Harry's computer which has cost you a few days progress. At least it wasn't sabotage. Because you know the intern, and you know they are a goddamn moron.
They are a goddamn moron you can't get rid of for at least another three months, but hey. Who gives a shit? You just need to keep them away from anything important.
-3K IN MAN HOURS LOST
THE A-LIST: Pick One
[X] Senate. Where the big decisions are made. Partly, you want him to focus here because most people only care about the senate, and partly, it is because it is much, much easier to co-ordinate in the short and long term. (Ralph Diammetra and the A-List team will focus on scoping out the senate races for A-list candidates and potential Pataki allies)
Roll = N/A. Ralph has prepared his skeleton crew for focus on upcoming senate races and primaries.
Ralph nervously knocks on your door. Your mood has been foul ever since Connecticut on Tuesday and that greasy fuck Chris Wallace baited George the next day. You are smouldering just like your cigar is as he enters your office. You've burned through two humidors and an entire shelf of whiskey. Usually you'd be drunk, but you are too fucking angry to be drunk.
"Ralph! You better be coming in with some good goddamn news. I've had it up to here with this fucking campaign." You curse, adjusting on your seat, as the nervous, nebbish man scurries over to the chair opposite your desk. He's holding a huge bunch of files. Because of course he is. He spreads a bunch across your desk, and then sits back, adjusting his wire-frame glasses.
"I...uh...y'know. I think...ah...I think…" He splutters, and you just get angrier, and angrier. You don't have time for this shit. You grab one of the files, labeled 'Maryland'. Cracking it open you see a list of potential candidates, both democratic and republican, and a pretty in depth look at Barbara Mikulski's scandal ridden tenure.
"Fuckin' out with it Diammetra. I don't have all fucking week for you to stutter out a sentence." You clench your cigar between your teeth as you flip through the half-dozen pages of analysis by Ralph and one of his staffers. It's not half fucking bad. The general thrust of it is basically that if we can get a solid candidate, and the democrats put up that crazy hyper-progressive chick from Maryland's 4th.
"I..uh...ahem. Right, sorry. Well, there are a lot of really important races up this year. We've got some….some real high risk ones. We could..uh..Mitch McConnell, I mean, could lose his position as the Senate Majority leader. A-and if...I mean, when we win the Presidency, that'd be real...aheh. Really bad. We'd be in deep, deep trouble. It'd be like...uh….Obama after 2014."
Yeah, you can fucking see that. Given you are going to be slamming up against Mitch McConnell already. You could use some friendly senators when you go into the White House. "Okay, I can fuckin' see that. Now, you got much more of these files?" You place your cigar in the tray, calming down a bit as you get some more good news.
"Oh! Ah...um, yeah. I've got lots of them. We can...uh….go over them when you get back. You could...you could even take one or two. Just don't lose them! It uh….it took all week to put these together….." He seems nervous, but you slam the folder shut, and send him out of your office. You'll think about taking some with you so you can do some in-depth reading while you sun yourself in Bilbao and let this fucking awful week go away.
RALPH HAS CREATED A FAIRLY COMPREHENSIVE SENATE LIST
PATAKI ACTIONS:
[X] Prep for the plank launch. You've been talking with Neil, and while you are fairly confident George is fired up enough, it couldn't hurt to have him and Neil go over the routine more than just a handful of times. You can even get some of the interns and staffers to roleplay hecklers and such. I mean, this is a university crowd, and George is a republican.
Roll = 72. George is rested and ready for any disruptions at the launch.
You hate waking up early and taking time off of answering work emails, but as you drag your ass into the office at 6am, you notice George is waiting, and frustratingly peppy about everything.
It takes nearly six hours of going through the plan, dragging most of your core campaign staff into a converted 'auditorium' so you can practice the launch. They do a decent job at heckling, and Neil is a great help shoring up George on shit he's no good at.
All in all, you are actually decently excited to see how the launch goes! What could possibly go wrong? All you are doing is taking a Republican to a University Campus in New Hampshire.
[X] Meeting Bob and Sue. George is going to be busy flying to Kansas and then DC to meet up with potential endorsers. The big ones. Robert Dole and Susan Collins. Hopefully, this goes well. LOCKED ACTION.
Roll = 60. A recruit, and other fun things.
Well, the double meetings went fabulously. More or less. Bob Dole didn't follow the plan at fucking all though. Which is not as bad as if Collins hadn't. Bob's been running around Kansas like a headless chicken drumming up support for George, which you'd expected him to do in the new year, not now.
Of course, while he's off doing his thing around Kansas you've noticed a big kick up the ass in money. It helped he did an interview about how, and you are quoting here, 'George Pataki has the kind of innovative agenda that the Republican party needs.' Which is good. Because given George's main schtick in the debates was 'Look how different I am to the establishment' having Bob try and win them over will be essential. It's also gotten you recruits in Kansas you can, you suppose, aim at surrounding states in the hope that they can….y'know, achieve something in a state that'll actually matter.
Because Christ on a bike, if you are in a position where you need hard-core conservative Kansas to vote for you overwhelmingly, you are already up shit creek without a paddle. That's Cruz and Frothy's base of support. Not yours.
SUSAN COLLINS IS ON BOARD TEAM PATAKI. ENDORSEMENT CAN BE FIRED AT ANY POINT. BOB DOLE HAS SET UP HIS OWN INFRASTRUCTURE IN KANSAS.
[X] Storming the Ranch. It's about time George visited Nevada. It'd be good to familiarise him with the heat for when he visits for the fry up in two weeks. Can't afford to fuck that up, after all.
Roll = 92. George makes a great many friends and starts some waves in Nevada.
PATAKI: Hey! Thank-Thank you everyone for turning out. What a huge crowd! So glad to see so many young faces. It really excites me to know that the Republican party isn't as old and decrepit as I am.
(LAUGHTER)
Seriously though, it's great to see so many people out here. I'm so glad that we are drawing such big crowds to our rallies. We draw the biggest, best crowds. It's absolutely fantastic. I mean, we haven't had anyone start fights. Not like someone we all know.
(LAUGHTER)
Pataki seems to have been having a good time in Nevada. Not that you care. No, what you care about is how he looks having fun in Nevada. He looks good.Presidential, even. Making friends, shaking hands, and giving a few stump speeches at rallies. You'll need to organise something proper and big in Nevada at some point. Maybe the week after the Basque BBQ. Assuming everything goes well.
It had fucking better, given you spent two whole fucking days teaching George the basics of Euskara. And to never, ever speak Spanish at a Basque unless they speak it first. You don't need some ex-ETA nutcase challenging George to an honor duel or some shit. That gives you a headache just thinking about it.
PATAKI HAS BOOSTED MOMENTUM IN NEVADA AND RECRUITED A FOOT SOLDIER FOR NV.
LIBBY PATAKI ACTIONS: Pick One.
[X] Twitterstorm. Libby did a damn good job on twitter during the debate. Pulled no punches, and helped reinforce you during the (very bad showing) against Rand. Maybe just have her accompany George on the trail and tweet about goings on? (Cost: Free Chance of Success: 65% Result: Libby keeps up your Twitter-based momentum.)
Roll = 41. Libby hits Up the Twittersphere, donations are up this month!
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) Hello New Hampshire! Happy to be in the granite state with the hubby and campaign staff. #TeamPataki members, retweet us restaurant ideas! {Attached images are a snapshot from the plane window, and a Libby and George selfie}
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) Some of the people at UNH are interesting.... {Video Attached of Libby filming over the shoulder as protestors shout}
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) UNH was a great crowd! Despite some rudeness. Happy to meet the women of #TeamPatakiNH ! Go girls! #Pataki2016 {Attached is an image of Libby posing with young female Pataki Campaign volunteers.}
Libby Pataki (@LibbyPataki) Hah! And people say I can't dance. George and I had a great time, THANK YOU NEW HAMPSHIRE! #Pataki2016 #WhiteDancing {Attached image of Libby getting down with the beat at a post plank launch party}
AN: Might add more tweets if you guys liked this quick little slice.
PLANK LAUNCH = 98 + 30. Pusillanimous Protesters get punished by Proud Pataki.
"Hell no, we won't go! No racists welcome here!" The woman with bright pink hair, smelling like a marijuana farm chants as she and her co-conspirators block your way into the hall where George and Neil are supposed to be holding a talk on innovation in America. And talking about the plank.
"Look, Lady. I don't know why you are so damn upset, but could you please let the Latinos and the African-Americans into the conference hall, at least?" You hate calling yourself a Latino, but identity politics is the only language these beasts understand!
"Hell no, we won't go! No White Supremacists on campus!" You pinch the bridge of your nose, rubbing it a bit to calm yourself. Letting out a sharp breath, you look the large crowd of oversized White chicks and undersized White Guys. Fucking hell. University ain't what you remember, that's for fucking sure.
"Yeah. The Latino and the black guy are White Supremacists. Whatever helps ya fucking sleep at night." You storm off, not wanting to deal with this shit. How dare some assholes barricade you! What a bunch a shitheads!
"You know, with the right physics object, we could crash right through their blockade." Tyson offers, as you make your way over to George. You both laugh at Neil's joke, but personally, you are considering it.
"Well, I can see the protesters won't be leaving" Their constant, aggressive shouting is giving you a headache, as you nod.
"Yeah, looks like. Hey, at least we've drawn a huge crowd!" You gesture to all the people grumbling about the protestors. You weren't supposed to start for another half hour, but the promise of getting to meet NdG and George has certainly brought people out. Both of them nod, and turn to meet the crowd, shaking hands and smiling as someone taps your shoulder.
"Hello, I'm Sheila Reid, with Rebel Media. Are you..?" She looks at you, and then to a piece of paper in her hand, then back to you, then back to the paper.
"I'm Peter Laxalt, if that's who you are after." She nods enthusiastically, and the camera man practically shoves his oversized, nineties era camera in your face.
"It is! We wanted to interview you about the campus protestors." You grimace at that, having to remind yourself to take deep breaths and not swear during interviews, it's harder than most people think. Given your vocabulary is about 60-65% swear words of various languages.
"Suuuuure. Well, what did you want to know?" She grins….you hate to say evilly (Who the fuck are you kidding, no you don't.), darkly. Darkly works. She looks like a cat that caught a mouse. If she thinks she can just fucking bait you, she's going to be sorely mistaken.
You are relaxing in the crowd as Neil finishes his part of the speech, when suddenly, you hear a noise. It's a familiar noise, as you'd been forced to listen to it less than an hour previously. Turning around, you spot it.
It's that fucking bitch from this morning! Christ! "DOWN WITH RACISM!" She yells as several others get up and start chanting. Goddamn white people! Neil shoots her a dark look as her compatriots chant and….and fucking flail like lunatics. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, what is wrong with these people?!
Despite the interruption, Neil falls back to his seat to thunderous applause, and to your amusement it drowns out the chanting for a few moments, lunatics going red in the face from all the hot air they are blowing.
George ascends the stage to similar applause, and waits for it to die down. Waving and Pointing at people as it does. When it slows down and stops the chanting keeps going. 'No room for racism' this and 'Black lives matter' that. You've never seen such fuckery.
"Ma'am. We'll be opening the floor in a few minutes. If you could refrain from calling everyone you don't like a racist, that'd be just fantastic. If you can't, we can have security escort you to the nearest children's playground." The laughter from Pataki's retort is reassuring, as is her sudden snapping back of 'fuck you!' and giving him the finger before storming out. Looking over to where Rebel Media is camped out, they seem very entertained by all this bullshit.
Fuck knows what they plan on doing.
All in all you think the rally went well, despite the best efforts of some social justice fuckheads to disrupt it. Of course, you only think it went pretty well because you don't pay attention to alternative media. You have people for that. Namely, you have a person for that.
"Peterson! Get your ass in here!" Parker walked in nervously. You can see Jeanie rolling her eyes at you refusal to say his actual last name. Never mind his first name, which you've long since forgotten.
"Uh...y-yes sir…" You look him over. Nebbish, nervous, wearing that stupid camera around his neck like this is some kind of fucking movie and something really photogenic is about to happen.
"What the fuck is Rebel Media. You're Canadian, aren't you? All I know is it's Canadian." He takes a step back, sputtering a bit under your harsh gaze as he tried to find an answer. Clearly, you didn't keep him around for his smarts.
"It's...uh...I'm...I'm not Canadian, sir. S-sorry…" You light up a cigar and he flinches, going visibly pale when you push a small one his way. You know, that he knows, what rebel media is. You think. It's got a bunch of young reporters and shit, and Parker is young. So he must know!
"Of course you aren't. Canadians are useful. They make maple syrup and moose burgers. You are useless to me unless you can tell me what Rebel Media is in the next thirty goddamn seconds!" He awkwardly falls into the seat, coughing violently when you exhale in his face. Grinning darkly, it just puts him off further as he picks up the thin cigar.
"I...oh..um...I might've...heard of it? It's….it's an alternative media outlet l-li-" You cut him off there.
"Alternative? What? Like that rag Huffington runs? Or….what the fuck was it….gateway pundit?" Parker goes red in the face, shaking his head.
"N-no, sir! I mean...I mean kind of, yes. It's the same...uh...kind of thing. Lots of emotive political journalism to...to reinforce an ideology." Ah. One of those outfits. Fantastic! You can finally have your own Breitbart!
FUNDRAISING ROLL
Roll = 66 + 30 + 200 = 296k raised.
You never thought you'd be singing the praises of small donors, but here you fucking are! They really pulled through for you this week, and hopefully that's a reliable trend towards the future. Of course you do now need to buy more #MASA and Pataki 2016 shirts. Thank God for Dwayne tweeting himself in one.
SUPERPAC ROLL
PbP PAC = 50. Anti-Trump paper buy in SC -3 Trump Momentum (SC) -125k
AAfBA PAC = 79. Pro-Pataki Television buy IA, NH, SC, NV. +12 Pataki Momentum (IA, NH) +6 Momentum (SC) +4 Momentum (NV) -1m
Well, The SuperPAC guys did there thing. Apparently they are just waiting for the word to go on A-List, but instead of sitting on their asses, this week they've both done ad buys. PbP attacking Trump, and AAfBA boosting Pataki.
NEWS OF THE WEEK
In this brand-new section of the results page, you'll be getting interesting/strange/relevant newspaper headlines and Peter's thoughts on them. It'll help give you an idea of what is going on in the broader race. I hope.
Rockefeller's Revenge? What does the return of East-Coast Republicans mean for the party? - Politico
In this brand-new section of the results page, you'll be getting interesting/strange/relevant newspaper headlines and Peter's thoughts on them. It'll help give you an idea of what is going on in the broader race. I hope.
Rockefeller's Revenge? What does the return of East-Coast Republicans mean for the party? - Politico
One of the first articles you read during the week was a Politico article about your favorite subject. You! Not you personally of course, but about the campaign, and the sheer unlikeliness that three 'frontrunners' for the nomination (Boy does that boost your confidence!) are from the North East of the United States, the 'bastion of Liberalism'
All in all, it's a puff-piece about how people like Chris Christie and George Pataki are heralding a revival of the party in the Northeast. It's a puff-piece that flatters the campaign, though, so you don't much care.
All in all, it's a puff-piece about how people like Chris Christie and George Pataki are heralding a revival of the party in the Northeast. It's a puff-piece that flatters the campaign, though, so you don't much care.
DID HILLARY CLINTON SELL BENGHAZI SECRETS TO AL-QAEDA?? - Gateway Pundit
You don't even know why Jeanie sent this to you. It's fucking bizarre. Who the fuck are these people?
Bob Dole changes track, announces support for Pataki 2016 -The Wichita Eagle
If that doesn't make you happy, nothing will. One of the great big titans of the Republican Party, Bob fucking Dole, the guy who bit the bullet and gave the Republican party an actual, respectable candidate in '96 endorsing you. You knew it was coming, but it is nice to see in print.
The only thing that annoys you (well, one of two) is the fact the article spends way too much time talking about that snivelling fuck Jeb Bush, instead of your guy, George. The other thing, is you can't help but feel Connecticut was some kind of twisted revenge for this. And stealing his endorses in Nevada. And Iowa. And humiliating him during the debate.
Fucker.
The only thing that annoys you (well, one of two) is the fact the article spends way too much time talking about that snivelling fuck Jeb Bush, instead of your guy, George. The other thing, is you can't help but feel Connecticut was some kind of twisted revenge for this. And stealing his endorses in Nevada. And Iowa. And humiliating him during the debate.
Fucker.
PATAKI CAMPAIGN MANAGER: 'SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS ARE SPOILED BRATS' - Rebel Media
Ah, your favorite thing. Articles about yourself! And how great you are. This 'war on sanity' thing is playing out really well. Apparently you've started trending. You've gotten way more followers on your personal twitter account than ever before, and the campaign got a nice big dump of donations. All in all? Good fucking article!
REPORT: GRASSROOTS WITH TRUMP DESPITE RINO ATTACKS - Breitbart.
Ah, Breitbart. If ever there was a fucking cancer on the republican party, it'd be those assholes. Led by their fat fuck in chief Bannon it's no shock they hate the idea that George did better than their precious little orange turd. They've been pumping out article after article of pandering crap since the debate. About how the orange leather lard sack secretly won and all that shit.
You'd slap Bannon in his ugly, red face if you could, but according to Harry that is 'bad form for dealing with the Media' but eh. The fuck does he know?
You'd slap Bannon in his ugly, red face if you could, but according to Harry that is 'bad form for dealing with the Media' but eh. The fuck does he know?
SJWS ATTACK PATAKI: CHILDREN. - Milo Yiannopoulos.
You don't like Milo. You get the feeling he wouldn't like you either. Or maybe he's into chain smoking alcoholics. You don't give a shit. What you do give a shit about it his coverage of Pataki, which has been glowing. Which is unusually given he's penned some vicious attack articles before.
Who gives a shit. Your collective hatred of SJWs unites all of the Conservative Spectrum. Even if they are foreigners with shitty, bleached blonde hair.
Who gives a shit. Your collective hatred of SJWs unites all of the Conservative Spectrum. Even if they are foreigners with shitty, bleached blonde hair.
Done! The turn 13 action page might take a little bit, but that's just planning out how to work the holiday around the turn.
I hope you guys enjoy!
I hope you guys enjoy!