You sigh, rubbing your temples again, trying to massage away the red that is beginning to tinge your vision. "So, what you are saying is, your guy is currently sitting in a holding cell, for a B&E?
How the fuck does this happen Henry? Fucking How?!" You scream into the phone. How….fucking….
FUCK!
"Look, Pete. This isn't as bad as it sounds, okay? The police just picked him up because he was acting suspicious, it's fine, I'll pick him up in the morning, and it'll all blow over!" You inhale sharply, you can feel a deep, bloody red descend over your eyes. You try to hold back, but it is in vain.
"
NO IT IS NOT FUCKING FINE! IF THE NYT GETS HOLD OF THIS WE ARE FUCKED, HARRY! ZOAZ POPATIK HARTZERA!" You cuss him out in euskara and slam the phone down, breathing heavily. For fuck's sake, this is
not what you fucking need right now. You stare at the phone, imagining that your hatred will make it go away, before slowly picking it up. You dial a familiar number, and soon, a soothing voice fills your ear.
"Ama! How are you!" You exclaim, and soon, your conversation with your mother calms you back down. It's about trivial things. Like how much you've been to church, if you've been messaging your father, if you are going to find a good, catholic wife, if you are going to come with them back to the home country next month….that last one gives you pause. You'd totally forgotten about that! Shit, the campaign is only early days, maybe you could?
[] Of Course! As you explain to your mother, you are more than happy to come along to Euskadi! Hell, you make a note to bring Jeanie, she's always wanted to see it herself. (Stronger relationship with Jeanie and your family, de-stress. Will reduce campaign actions by 2 and all other actions by 1 (to a minimum of 1) for the duration of your holiday)
[] Maybe next time? You want to make sure everything runs smoothly, and while you
could make sure everything is setup for the week you are away, you would feel better if you were here managing it personally. She sounds upset, but you hope she will forgive you. (Weaker relationship with family. Stress will rise.)
You take a deep breathe after the call is done, and put the phone down. Your office is nice and quiet. You hate that. You turn on the television to distract you. Almost immediately, you are assaulted by Anderson Cooper's too-perfect, made-for-tv face. In your head, you try to calculate how much that face must've cost him. Then you realize, he's interviewing…..Nate Silver? That fuck! How the hell is he going to make it to poker night if he's busy talking with Anderson 'My perfect face' Cooper! You are about to turn off the television in a rage, and then start leaving that
tontolapiko kabroi Silver hateful, untranslated messages in basque, when you hear Cooper speak.
Cooper: So, as one of America's most trusted pollsters, what exactly do you make of Pataki's stunning rise in the polls? Especially when they seem to be
rejecting moderates like Jeb Bush and Chris Christie.
Silver: Well, I wouldn't say that republican voters are
rejecting either of those men. Bush especially has yet to poll below 10% in a national poll, but as for Pataki's rise, I think it has something to do with tea-party fatigue. The Tea party had some very high-profile failures in 2014, and even more before then. Throwing what should've been easy wins to the democrats. It could be we are seeing a shift away from the tea-party amongst the GOP base.
Cooper: Well, that may be it, but Donald Trump's surge to the top spot, and Scott Walker's continuing strength seem to indicate the Tea Party is as strong as ever. Especially considering Walker's recent scandals.
Silver: Well, at heart Donald Trump is possibly even more moderate than George Pataki. Despite harsh words on immigration, Trump is on record praising Hillary Clinton, pushing for higher minimum wage laws, and even gay marriage. He's far from a constitutional conservative like, say, Ted Cruz or Ben Carson.
Cooper: We've seen quite a few people talk about Pataki in the terms of 'Nelson Rockefeller' and the New York times even ran an article praising Pataki as 'Nelson Rockefeller come again'. Do you think that's a fair comparison?
Silver:
Laughs. Well, I'm not quite sure about that, Nelson Rockefeller doesn't have half of the WWE's former superstars campaigning for him!
Cooper: Ah, yes. We actually have a clip from Dwayne Johnson's 'American Revival' show earlier today. We'll just play some of the insanity from the show, which put paid to some rumors Dwayne Johnson was critically ill, as well!
Oh god. You slept through this morning, and have refused to really do anything on your computer, but you got a text from Dwayne about how the show was '100% fantastic. Gr8 ppl Gr8 performance Gon on tour? Maybe! XDD' you don't know what the fuck that end thing was, but you assume it was a positive sign.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The clip opens to a shirtless Dwayne Johnson, and the Big Show dressed up in pro-Pataki gear. Especially Big-Show, who has a giant lawn-sign stapled to his shirt, face off against the Miz, who is dressed in a ridiculous gold coloured suit, with green dollar signs all over it
The Miz: You fools! You can't fight the establishment! We are too powerful! Look! The power of our money can summon unbeatable force to our side!
Brock Lesnar steps out of the shadows, wearing a shirt with 'The Media' printed across it
The Miz: Destroy these fools, minion! Strike a blow for the establishment!
The Miz cackles evilly, as Lesnar marches forward, attempting to brow-beat the pro-pataki supporters, as the crowd becomes hushed
Dwayne: That's something you don't understand, Sheldon! We have something far more powerful than your media cronies! We have….
Steve Austin charges out of nowhere and body-checks Lesnar, forcing Lesnar back, as the crowd cheers.
Austin: You can't keep people down! Money doesn't buy you anything with us! The people stand with Pataki, and no amount of corporate vote buying can change that!
Lesnar makes a grab for Austin, only for Dwayne-as-Pataki to body check and then the Big Show comes from behind, hefting him up and getting ready to suplex him. What the fuck are you watching?!
You turn the TV off. There are no words for what you just saw. No words at
all. You are about to pour yourself out some 'brain-bleach' whiskey, when you get a phone call. You stare the phone down, daring it to try and disturb you as the bottle of cheap scotch drains into the glass. Your glass poured, you swirl it around, making note of the horrifying amount of ethanol that clings to the glass as you do. Perfect.
Thus calmed, you pick up the phone. It's been a weird fucking day, that's for damn sure.
"Hello" Says the voice, that you
think you recognise from somewhere. "Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk about NASA." Fuck it. You've got time, you relax in your chair, prop your feet on your desk, and relax.
"Go nuts, science man." Where do you recognise his voice from? You can't
quite place it. Dammit! It'll come to you eventually.
Not at all satisfied with how this turned out, but I've deprived you lot long enough. I'm tempted to leave the Basque untranslated, to be honest, to see if any of you figure it out
