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Life With the Ship Girls, or, How I Learned How to Stop Worrying and Love the Polygamy

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ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING DEBATES ALREADY! JESUS, GO MAKE A FUCKING THREAD FOR IT!
 
Greek Fire said:
During the war, yeah.
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"Is that how I really sound?"

"Yeah," Mike responded. "You say it all the time."

"Why hasn't anyone told me this!?"

"Well, I thought that it was a pretty normal way for humans to announce that they're leaving," Astrid helpfully explained. "That's why I never bothered to tell you."

"Yeah, and it's kind of your trademark," Alphonse added.

"Everyone knows who you are when you say it like that," Heather agreed. Erika just nodded and added a 'yep' as well.

"Well I-I'm open to suggestions. Like, how does this sound? 'I should go.' Or, 'I should go.' Or what about... oh I've got it! 'I shall go'!"
 
Icywinter said:
Wait, at what range are you firing from? I citadel little Omahas and other Clevelands easily.

EDIT: Bishie Alphonse is a bishie and is a hapless romantic.
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All ranges. Even at close range guns tend to fail me. Swear to god I have the worst luck. I get consistent bounces at 10km and farther, usually can't get anywhere close enough without battleships interfering. I did so well in the Omaha. Now that I think about it I probably won't do better in any other ship than the Omaha due to my play style.
 
Icywinter said:
"Is that how I really sound?"

"Yeah," Mike responded. "You say it all the time."

"Why hasn't anyone told me this!?"

"Well, I thought that it was a pretty normal way for humans to announce that they're leaving," Astrid helpfully explained. "That's why I never bothered to tell you."

"Yeah, and it's kind of your trademark," Alphonse added.

"Everyone knows who you are when you say it like that," Heather agreed. Erika just nodded and added a 'yep' as well.

"Well I-I'm open to suggestions. Like, how does this sound? 'I should go.' Or, 'I should go.' Or what about... oh I've got it! 'I shall go'!"
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PERFECT
 
I might post that reverse SI thing Greek and I did a while back. I ain't letting good snippets go to waste.
 
June, 2015
Hinkley Township, Ohio
~2245 Hours (Eastern Daylight Time)

It was late at night. My sister, Cheyenne and I were returning home after watching a garage band a couple of her friends had put together preform in the basement of a different friend's house. We were driving down a lonely country road, on our way to state route 303, which would take us more-or-less directly home. I looked out the passenger-side window of her 2003 Toyota Corolla, which had been given to her in the will of my grandpa's sister, who died last spring due to a number of health complications. Never figured the woman to be the type. Then again, I didn't know her that well, anyway.

Cheyenne, or "Wyoming" as she was sometimes called, was incredibly thankful, considering that in addition to her busy social schedule, she also worked at a Panera on the other side of town. Of course, it being her first car, she took every chance she could to drive it, even if it was to Target, Giant Eagle, or Swenson's for knick-knacks, milk, or cheap, greasy lunch, respectively. Needless to say, hanging out with friends was as good an excuse as any.

As I stared out that window, I wondered about all manner of subjects. Where would I go? What would I end up doing as a job? What's coming to Netflix that sounds interesting? Of course, I didn't mind going places with my sister. It got me out of the house, and kept me away from my #1 enemy: boredom. Besides, Cleveland, even if it was as crappy as any other Rust Belt city, still had stuff to do. The Rock Hall, the Science Center, a bunch of malls, and quaint little 'Main Street USA' joints such as such as Hudson's First and Main, the Cuyahoga Falls Riverfront, and Medina Town Square. However, my train of thought was derailed when Cheyenne spoke up.

"So, did you enjoy the show?", she asked.

"Oh." I responded as I came out of my little trance. "Yeah. I did. They did a decent cover of 'No Rest for the Wicked'. Sunset was all pretty, too."

"Glad you liked it. Oh, did you text mom and tell her we're on our way home?"

"Yeah. Sent it as we left the house. Mom's expecting us."

Mom was probably laying down on the couch back home, Hawaii Five-0 or Longmire playing on Netflix, and our dogs, Guiness and Danno laying down at the foot. My other sister, Raven, was probably asleep or browsing Tumblr on her iPod, our Siamese cat, Ching, who was also given to us as part of that will, laying down on top of her.

One of Cheyenne's mix CDs was playing. She preferred bands such as Arctic Monkeys or All Time Low. Or occasionally classics from her childhood, such as Hiliary Duff or Backstreet Boys. I preferred classic rock like my dad did back when he was alive, such as the Rolling Stones or AC/DC. I also preferred the OSTs to video games, movies, TV, etc. Stuff by people such as Hans Zimmer, or Bear McCreary, or Jamie Christopherson. My sister called those composers 'obscure', but frak that. Regardless, we usually got along anyway.

We passed over Interstate 271, which was usually crappy on a Friday night like this, and worsened as one approached Cleveland. We drove on for a bit longer, eventually approaching the woods where Whipp's Ledges were. My sister and I had hiked there a few months ago with a bunch of her friends, only to get chewed up by mosquitoes, even though I could've sworn the winter had killed the whole lot of 'em off. Some kind of fog developed, however. I was about to point that out, but Cheyenne noticed and pressed the brake pedal, slowing us down to about half the speed limit. Probably for the better. Deer could pop out, and nobody in their right mind would want to hit one. And being fairly close to the Cuyahoga Valley, there was a fairly sizeable population.

However, those precautions turned out to be worthless. A figure, looking like a person, popped out of the fog bank, right in front of us. We screamed as Cheyenne slammed on the brakes and threw the steering wheel to the left. Unfortunately, even though we avoided whoever that was, we weren't able to stop in time and crashed into one of the trees lining the road, causing the little Toyota sedan to bounce. The airbags, needless to say, deployed.

Our brief daze was ended when Cheyenne started shouting.

"Jesus Christ, are you alright!?", she asked.

"Y-yeah. I think I'm okay.", I responded, pushing the airbag out of my face. "Uhh... call mom. I'll call th-the cops."

"Yeah. Yeah, you do that."

We took out our phones. Cheyenne dialed home while I dialed 9-1-1. Never thought I'd have to do that in a million years.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?", the operator responded.

"Y-y-yeah, my... my sister and I just got into a car accident! We tried to avoid someone in the road and hit a tree! We need help!", I replied. At least we weren't getting shot at or approached by a bunnycat.

"Calm down, calm down. Can you give me your location?"

"S-S-State Road, n-near W-Whipp's L-Ledges!."

"I'm alerting the police and paramedics now. Are you or your sister injured?"

"Hold on."

I turned on one of the lights in the car, looking at myself. My face hurt, as did my right leg, but I was able to move it without difficulty. At least it wasn't broken. I turned to look at Cheyenne.

"You hurt?", I asked.

She took the phone away from her ear. I could hear mom panicking over the line.

"No.", she said.

"We're alright, more or less.", I responded to the operator.

"Stay where you are. Police and paramedics are on the way."

I decided to roll down the window and look behind the car, turning on the flashlight built into my phone. Maybe we hit whoever that was and we didn't notice. I promptly spotted a woman running towards the car, shouting in Japanese. From the phone's light, I could see she was a brunette, her hair sporting buns and a black-and-yellow striped headband, and was wearing white robes, similar to some kind of shrine maiden. She had Asian features. My sister looked outside and noticed, too.

"Who is she? Did we hit her?", my sister asked. She didn't know, but I knew exactly who she was. Kongou, one of the largest hams in the east. How the hell did she end up in Cleveland, Ohio!? Of all places?

And that was when I noticed the pair of kids sporting VLS batteries and CIWS mounts running up behind her.

However, the only words that came out of my mouth were an "Oh, shit."

"Sir?", the 9-1-1 operator continued. I didn't pay much attention, considering that the line between reality and fiction was now broken, and my sister and I were now staring down three nervous, heavily-armed young women. "Is everything alright? Sir?"

Yeah, so basically Kongou and her two daughterus got sent back in time and to a seperate universe…
 
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"You are now the last hope for your team."

Shit. This was it then. I was down for the count, Erika had sunken to what amounted to an entire air wing's worth of munitions, and Heather was the only one left still floating, in her Iowa-class USS Indefatigable. Despite fighting alongside me to blunt the opposing southern fleet, she was barely damaged. More importantly, she already had knocked the majority of the opposing Shoukaku-class' air wing out of the sky. Small comfort though, when you had to face off against eight enemy warships by yourself.

"A-Al... what do I do?" Heather asked helplessly.

"Concentrate," I respond. "Bring the fight to them. Destroy them. All of them, like you would for us if they were Abyssals."

"Okay..." she nodded. "Okay." She took a deep breath to steady herself. "This is the USS Indefatigable, setting forth."

Erika gently put two hands on Heather's shoulders. "You can do it, hun," she said. "You can do it."

"I believe in you, Heather."

"Go for it! Show those enemy players who's boss!" Astrid shouted.

"You can do it. Definitely," I say. "Heather, you and Erika are the two of the three most wonderful people in the world. I believe in you."

She could barely contain the tears that were flowing out of her eyes. "I-I... Okay." She gave the brightest smile I've seen on her face, and turned to the computer's screen.

"Let's see what this battleship can do..." she said to herself.

Heather maneuvered her battleship toward the opposing fleet, bow facing their lead battleship.

"Wait, Heather, what are you doing?" Astrid asked.

"Carrying," she said tonelessly.

The music rose.

"Verify range to lead battleship," she said. "Twelve kilometres?"

"Twelve kilometres, roger," I say. "Opposing fleet approaching from the West. One battleship, one battlecruiser, one heavy cruiser. Currently out of range."
"I copy," Heather began unloading her 406 mm cannons into the Scharnhorst-class battleship. "Good effect, standby, fifteen seconds."

"Entering secondary range!" Erika warned.

"That's alright. Dropping the hammer."

The battleship split in half from Heather's strike, the ammunition stores exploding into the sky. The Indefatigable continued forward, her secondaries setting a destroyer on fire. A few seconds later, the Fletcher-class exploded as well, the torpedo tubes cooking off in a tremendous explosion. "Switching target, lead New Orleans-class. Range, eight kilometres, firing one salvo of Armour Piercing."

The massive shells struck the cruiser's hull like thunder striking steel, heavily damaging it and disabling the warship's engines. The heavy cruiser returned fire, the 203s smashing against the Indefatigable's hull. "Light damage," Erika announced. "You can take it."

"I know." Heather lined up the C turret with the cruiser's hull, firing at it and shattering the American vessel into hundreds of pieces.

"Cruiser down, switching target. Gearing-class, range, three kilometres. Targeting with secondary battery fire." She pulled hard to port, turning the massive hulk of the Indefatigable around to avoid the inevitable torpedo spread from the opposing destroyer. Sure enough, ten torpedoes sailed harmlessly by Heather's battleship, before the shipgirl turned her warship around to train her massive guns on the destroyer.

"Fire," she said, condemning the marauding American to the depths of the ocean.

"That's... four down, four more to go, Heather. Keep at it," Astrid said.

"Of course. Turning to face the two battleships now... standby."

"They're in range," I warn her.

"Don't worry," she said, grinning. "I've got this."

Her main cannons fired again, setting the lead Nagato-class on fire. "Good effect, switching to Armour Piercing, one salvo."
"Last destroyer incoming... Shimakaze-class, bearing North, thirty-five degrees East. She's dropped torpedoes into the water!"

"Got it," Heather turned the Indefatigable toward the torpedoes, dodging all of them. "Going to smash her with my secondaries. I've got a target lock on the Nagato-class... firing!"

The shells sailed true, blowing yet another vessel sky-high. "Good hit!" I say.

"Thanks. Looks like the Shimakaze-class destroyer is about to founder as well." Sure enough, the destroyer exploded in a puff of smoke, the engines finally giving up their quest for speed.

"Now all you have to do is take out that Shoukaku-class aircraft carrier, that Admiral Hipper-class heavy cruiser, and that Admiral-class battlecruiser."

"Got a firing solution on that Admiral-class. Seriously feels weird shooting at yourself."
"You can say that again," Erika laughed. "Looks good."

"Got that, firing armour piercing, two salvos."

Turns out, only one salvo was enough, blowing the battlecruiser out of the water with a truly tremendous explosion.

"... Thought that the refit hull got rid of that ammo rack," Heather remarked.

"It's not the refit, judging from the amount of health that battlecruiser had," I explained.

"Ah," Heather said, switching to the Admiral Hipper-class heavy cruiser. "That explains it. Switching target to the Admiral Hipp-- Is that Eugen!?"

Erika stared at the username. "Oh wow, yeah, that is Sabine."

"Well, she's going to sink today." She fired her cannons at the heavy cruiser, sending her barreling bow first toward the deep.

"Target eliminated."

"Looks like we won," Erika said as the point counter went up to a thousand.

Heather let out a sigh. "Good game."
 
Meanwhile...

"Hooooly shit."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Did Heather just carry her team?"

"Sure looks like it."
 
Meanwhile, in Ohio…
"OH GOD, MY HUSBAND NEARLY GOT KILLED!!"

"Daddy!"

Wait… what!?
 
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