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Life With the Ship Girls, or, How I Learned How to Stop Worrying and Love the Polygamy

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There are no brakes

You can only go on the course set before you because it is a train

You can only go faster, Jimbo
 
"You really have no idea what you're doing do you?"

"Uhmmm..."

"I'll take that as a no."

I swiftly pressed the keys on my laptop as I swung the stern of my Des Moines to avoid the narrow spread of torpedoes that had been fired at me by a sneaky Kagero. I'll be honest, Lui, which is a strange name for a girl, was right: I had no clue what I was doing. I typically used my Cruiser as an escort for battleship formations instead of charging out ahead of the pack and engaging the enemy first, as was my routine, but this time an Izumo had managed to use a side channel to pry me off the starboard side of our Montana-class Battleship. Lui, in her Baltimore-class, had attempted to follow me out but ran head on into an angry Bismarck-class and was forced to halt.

She was beating the ever-loving fuck out of the Bismarck, though, so all was well.

My guns swung around as the Kagero made a run for the smoke screen that was yet to dissipate from earlier, my Captain's Vigilance perk alerting me to the hastily fired torpedo spread and allowing me to turn into them and dodge. I fired six rounds into the screen, four hitting and on cuing a fire.

It was good to see that the USS Jamestown was still as pin-point accurate as she always was.

I didn't bother chasing the Kagero into that mess, there were still seven ships on the enemy team, and that Izumo was one of them. Not to mention the two Taiho's and Essex that were no doubt coming for me next.

"Hey, did you kill that Kagero? Saw you fire but wasn't paying attention to the kill messages."

"Four hits and he's burning."

"Not bad." She said with a chuckle.
---
This was a test.
 
2020.08.06
--

"You found what?"

"... Something," Tabitha's voice explained. "Look, I'd rather tell you over a secure connection. It's something that's really important."

"This is secure, Tabby," I retort. She just sighed. "Just come over here, and bring Erika with you. It's something that she'd need to see with her own eyes."

"I hope it's worth it."

Tabitha was silent for a few seconds -- I imagined her adjusting her glasses and rubbing her eyes -- before speaking again. "Definitely. Just come quickly."

"Got it." We exchanged our farewells, before we both hung up on each other.

"What was it?" Erika asked as she stepped out of the washroom. She was taking her usual morning shower, and was just about finished drying off. I placed a quick kiss on her forehead before leaning back into my chair.

"Tabby found something that she'd like us both to see. And I have a feeling that it's really important and top secret, considering that she decided that my encrypted phone line wasn't worth using."

"Well, to be honest," Astrid spoke up from her position on the sofa, "Nickel did manage to hack into me with ease. I wouldn't blame her for being careful."

"That was a one time thing, and you and I both agreed that he was some sort of technomage."

"True," she said with a non-committal shrug of her shoulders. "But it doesn't preclude the possibility of other people having the same talent as you or him."

"Fair enough."

"So," Erika said, changing the topic. "When do we go?"

"Well," I checked the watch. "If you two are ready to go, we can head out right now."

--
 
*Sees everyone talking about waifus*
Wouldn't it be a damn shame if something were to happen to them. Huehuehuehue.​
 
U.N.Spacy000 said:
Please tell me you haven't met people actually like this.
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In WoWs? Not as bad as I've portrayed, at least so far. But I do have the crash-problem I mentioned in that segment (my laptop dates back to 2009!), and when I've used chat to warn my team not to count on me and why, I've occasionally copped some attitude about 'If you can't compete, why the **** are you playing?' Some members of SB have voiced the same question, and I can see where they're coming from when they say I'm sandbagging my team by loading in with known stability issues, but....

Well, it's no accident that one of the themes of my pieces is/will be "The objective of a game is to win; the objective of playing a game is to have fun. Never confuse the two."
 
U.N.Spacy000 said:
And then Hood was added to Al's fleet.
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>[x] Waifu the British Girl
>[x] Waifu the German Girl
>>[x] Waifu both of them at the same time and establish the one true fleet.
--

"What do you think Tabby found?" Erika asked. I shook my head as I parked our BMW in my spot at the Advanced Research and Development Institute building. Being one of the senior researchers had its perks.

"Dunno," I answer truthfully. "Could be something that she had recovered from the deep. Or," I paused as the three of us -- Astrid, Erika, and I -- exited the car, "It could be another experimental rigging system."

"Like the one we trialed a few months ago, with the railguns and all that jazz?" Erika said. "That was pretty cool, but the power consumption rate was insane."

"Yeah. And I'm not sure if we could manage to solve the energy consumption problem," I say. "It's an issue with scaling down a fusion reactor into a jar-sized object without causing it to fizzle out."

"Everything else is working out though, right?" Astrid asked as we passed into the wide, open main hall. It was covered with lush green spaces and water walls, giving the roomy main space a homely, inviting air. Fresh, crisp air was being filtered in through the wide windows, and the entire place was lit up by natural light from the sun.

"Yeah," I nod, heading toward the elevators. A few scientists and engineers nodded as I passed, flanked by Astrid and Erika on either side.

"If I could just solve the reactor problem, we could be ready to get a functioning prototype out by the end of the year. And a mass-production version a few months later. It's just..." I sigh. "It's just mind-bogglingly complex. I'm a biological engineer, not a physicist." The elevator doors ding open, and Tabitha stepped out.

"Oh, Erika, Al, Astrid, you're here," she says, brushing a few locks of silvery hair from her face.

"Tabby," Erika said, sweeping the girl into a hug. "It's good to see you!"

"Ah- Erika--" she stuttered as she was pressed against Erika's chest. "I-It's good to see you too. So, ah, ca-can you please let me go?"

Erika blushed. "Oh, right... Sorry."

"Not a problem," Tabitha chuckled. "Anyway," she says, adjusting her glasses and smoothing out her labcoat. "Let's go."

--

"So what is it?" I ask the ex-Abyssal girl. "Some sort of Abyssal technology you and Rei recovered or something? Dakota blew up half the lab and found a new element again?"

"No," Tabitha chuckled. "Nothing that exciting. Though it is exciting, nonetheless. Remember what I said about de-abyssifying people a few months ago?"

I nod. "Yeah, you told me you figured out how to solve the nanomachine issue."

"That's right," she grinned. "And we found someone who sorely needed it."

"Oh?" Erika says, intrigued. "Who is it?"

"It's an old friend of yours. Couldn't believe my eyes either when she stumbled onto the Charlottetown a few days ago, but she came back."

"No..." we both say.

"Yeah." The elevator doors opened, revealing a very alive and flabbergasted Hood.

"Bismarck!?" the pride of the Royal Navy asked. "Y-You're..."

"Alive?" Erika finished, rushing toward the girl. "You're real..." She said, placing a gentle hand on Hood's face. "You're really here..."

"And you're here too..." Hood hugged Erika, letting her tears fall freely.

"Sshh..." Erika mumbled. "It's alright."

"Yeah... You're here."

The two girls tearfully reunited once more, letting their embrace speak the words that would not come out of their hearts. Of the pain, the sorrow. The pure unadulterated joy at seeing each other again.

I smiled. "You did good, Tabby. You did damn good."

"I try my best," she modestly smiled. She dug her hands into her coat pockets and ushered Astrid outside, leaving only Hood, myself, and Erika in the room.

"So, who's the lucky guy who became your husband?" Hood asked, finally breaking from their embrace.

"O-Oh..." Erika blushed again, twiddling her thumbs. "H-He's Doctor Schmitt. Doctor Alphonse Schmitt, Order of Canada."

"Ah, you're the whiz-kid doctor that everyone talks about around here," Hood said. "For a damn good reason too, I can see. You're the one who figured out how to get rid of the Abyssal threat, right?"

"Well..." I scratched my head. "It wasn't just me. It was my entire team that figured it out. I was just the guy who finalized it, that's it."

"Still, you did a heck of a job saving humanity," she smiled. "You're all just as important as the men and women who fought this war. And," she added, "You were the one who helped out Tabitha there figure out how to get rid of my Abyssalification."

"Thanks," I say, averting my eyes from the blonde's gaze.

"So, you two did the deed yet?" She asked, smirking.

"Hood!" Erika stammered, flushing red.

"Ah, you did," she grinned. "So, how was it Al?"

"I-ah... Well..." I grabbed Erika into a hug. "S-She's amazing."

"See Bismarck? Told you that you'd find a guy to take care of you. So, I have a question to ask you two lovebirds."

"Alright, shoot," I say.

"Uhm... well..." Hood suddenly went quiet, her face a little red as she looked away from the two of us. "Can I move in with you guys, please? I really haven't a place to call home, and I really don't want to be a burden on you... so I can help out around the house I guess." She twiddled her fingers together as she continued. "I-I can cook, and take care of the laundry, and fix things... so ah, Erika, Al," her face reddened. "Can I move in? Please?"

"Sure," I say calmly. Erika nodded in agreement.

"Wha- That's it?" She asked. "There's no conditions, no demands... nothing?" She tilted her head in puzzlement. "Thought that you'd want me to dress up in a maid getup..."

I blush as I imagine the very curvy blonde in a very risque outfit.

"Well..."

"I wouldn't be opposed to it," Erika finished for me. She smirked. "Al here certainly doesn't think so, too."

"H-Hey," I shake my head. "Don't make me out to be some sort of sexual deviant or something."

"You're already a sexual deviant, and everyone knows that."

"You don't have to advertise it, you know!"

"Oh?" She pulled on my tie, bringing my ear right up to her mouth. "So why is it that you like to post how much you love me dominating you in bed online? Or do you like me punishing you so much that you get all worked up thinking about it?"

"E-Erika..."

"As soon as we get Hood squared away, I'm going to really do something about your behavior," she purred into my ear.

"Man, you are so whipped," Hood said, smirking. "Though I can see that you both like it. Tell me Erika, do you still like getting dommed?"

"Wha?" She pulled away from my ear, saving me from having to endure her words for any longer.

"I can tell that you guys are really kinky in bed. So~" she asked again, "Do you like getting dommed, Erika Schmitt?"

If Erika blushed any harder, she would've shown up on infrared. From space.

"Hehe. Thought so." She crossed her arms, still smirking. "Anyway, let's go find something to eat. I'm starved."

"Y-Yeah, let's go do that..." Erika mumbled.

I just stared as Hood literally pulled both Erika and I toward the elevator.

--
 
5 years ago...

The lobby doors slid open, admitting me, and Louisiana to the outside world. And a massive crowd of news reporters.

"I hate reporters..." She whispered.

"I don't blame you." I grumbled.

Louisiana slid behind my back slowly, and group of black-suited security agents took a step closer to us. It was then that someone charged through the crowd, and directly at me.

"Um-" I started before the man drew a gun and leveled at my head.

I took a step forward and smacked the gun out of his hand as he fired, sending the round straight into the pavement.

"KILL THE HERETIC!" Several people in the crowd screamed.

"FUCK!" I growled.

These guys were Abyssal cultists, and because I was one of the few civilians to survive the siege of Washington DC and that I had killed quite a few Abyssal soldiers, they probably wanted me dead.

"Run!" Louisiana yelled.

"You don't have to tell me twice!" I said as I sprinted off through the rapidly dispersing crowd and into the ruined streets of Washington DC.

Approximately 1 hour and 27 minutes later...

I leaned against the wall, taking a moment to catch my breath. Those damn cultists just won't let up! At least I was on a rooftop, where they couldn't get to me that easily. Then I heard it, the sound of boots stomping up the stairs, and shouting, lots and lots of shouting. I groaned, stood up, and jumped down the street that was roughly 20 feet below me, tucking and rolling when I landed. Then I saw it, a glint of steel at the intersection ahead of me, and the silhouette of several dual-mount gun turrets. A shipgirl patrol, perfect. I stood up, and sprinted a full tilt towards the shipgirl. It was now or never. As I ran, I heard the sounds of bullets impacting the pavement around me. The shipgirl, who I now recognized as Atlanta, turned towards the sounds of gunfire and presented her guns. Now, since I had been on the news for about 2 days straight, she recognized me.

"HIT THE DECK!" She shouted.

So I did just that, and did a perfect base-stealing slide between her legs, keeping my eyes forward the entire time. As soon as I was safely behind her, she opened fire with her anti-air batteries, peppering the cultists with non-lethal bean-bag rounds. As soon as they were all down, I leaned against the lamp post next to me.

"Thanks." I said between gasping for my breath.

She laughed.

"All in a day's work kid, say, aren't you the guy that Louisiana made out on the live TV?"

I sighed.

"Yep, that's me alright."

"Never really thought she'd be the girl to do that on TV!"

"Me too."

"Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll escort you back to the hospital, from what I've heard Louisiana is still there."

"Lead the way."

...

As soon as we were at the hospital's parking lot, Atlanta gave me her phone number and returned to her patrol. As I walked towards the lobby, I saw Louisiana sitting on a bench surrounded by security agents.

"Hey, Lois!" I shouted.

She looked up and ran over to me, wrapping her arms around me kissing me on lips, making me stutter and blush.

"Damn it, when they said they lost sight of you I assumed the worse..."

I hugged her tighter, and rubbed her back.

"I'm not that easy to kill."

She smacked me on the arm for that.

"Seriously, you scared me, don't... don't do that..." She said as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Believe me, I don't plan on it."

...

END OF PROLOGUE

And yes, Atlanta and Michael are in fact drinking buddies.
 
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