Total War, Part 5
QUEBEC, CANADA
[The small farmhouse has no wall, no bars on the windows, and no lock on the door. When I ask the owner about his vulnerability he simply chuckles and resumes his lunch. Andre Renard, brother of the legendary war hero Emil Renard, has requested that I keep his exact location secret. "I don't care if the dead find me," he says without feeling, "but I care very little for the living." The former French national immigrated to this place after the official end of hostilities in western Europe. Despite numerous invitations from the French government, he has not returned.]
I've written to Andre, actually. About this interview, even! He apologised, which was a pleasant surprise, but I'll touch on this later.
The aside regarding his refusal to return to France - to be used as a nationalist talisman for a country in a tailspin of perennial unrest they're not really even able to suppress - is interesting, in that it acknowledges more of the abject vulnerability of one of America's allies more than typical.
But there again, France was never America's favourite ally, was it? The Junta is still, somehow, mad about the Iraq war.
Having no wall and no bars is a risk I wouldn't take, personally. There's not a
lot of ghouls left in Quebec, but there's FLQ and adéquiste guerrillas scattered throughout rural Quebec and one bad night can turn a guerrilla encampment into a small ghoul horde.
For what it is worth - do not donate to Quebec Separatists. Do not do it. They are not your friends.
Everyone else is a liar, everyone who claims that their campaign was "the hardest of the entire war." All those ignorant peacocks who beat their chests and brag about "mountain warfare" or "jungle warfare" or "urban warfare." Cities, oh how they love to brag about cities! "Nothing more terrifying than fighting in a city!" Oh really? Try underneath one.
This is so true. There's no debate, you're all incorrect. Tunnel Rat fighting was the worst thing anyone ever had to do. Pretty universal. Any city with any sort of underground networks - metros, sewers, old maintenance tunnels, buried rivers… Those all needed to be cleared, and they were all the worst possible places to fight ghouls.
We filled some with concrete, but there just wasn't enough of it.
Do you know why the Paris skyline was devoid of skyscrapers, I mean the prewar, proper Paris skyline? Do you know why they stuck all those glass and steel monstrosities out in La Defense, so far from the city center? Yes, there's aesthetics, a sense of continuity and civic pride…not like that architectural mongrel called London. But the truth, the logical, practical, reason for keeping Paris free from American-style monoliths, is that the earth beneath their feet is simply too tunneled to support it.
The people we had clearing skyscrapers in London didn't have much better of a time of it than we did, so I've heard. Working your way up through dark, crumbling buildings, floors starting to sag because the waterproofing failed a long time ago, broken windows turning whole storeys into howling windtunnels, cracking open the elevators to clear out any ghouls inside - hoping the damn thing doesn't choose that moment to plummet to ground level and take you with it - and then, without fail, you get to the top and find an impressive barricade on the stairs and a few dozen corpses behind it.
London was awful. Just… awful. City of the dead.
There are Roman tombs, quarries that supplied limestone for much of the city, even World War II bunkers used by the Resistance and yes, there was a Resistance! Then there is the modern Metro, the telephone lines, the gas mains, the water pipes…and through it all, you have the catacombs. Roughly six million bodies were buried there, taken from the prerevolution cemeteries, where corpses were just tossed in like rubbish. The catacombs contained entire walls of skulls and bones arranged in macabre patterns. It was even functional in places where interlocking bones held back mounds of loose remains behind them. The skulls always seemed to be laughing at me.
French Resistance denialism is a genuinely super odd conspiracy theory to have come out of the Years of Zed. It isn't just France - part of some peculiar mythmaking in the Anglosphere about why they
must've been doing better was that they didn't have as many people who gave up, which - was justified by arguing that the continental Europeans had a "servile mindset" beginning in WWII, which meant they didn't resist the ghouls so well; it married in with weird existing nationalism about immigration, obviously.
To be clear, this is a pretty fringe reactionary belief already, and the ones who take it so far as to deny the existence of
any internal opposition in Nazi-occupied territory are the insane fringe of that already-fringe belief, but from what I've heard, it is a belief with concerning penetration at, like, West Point. Hence why the interviewer references it as though it is a super common problem.
For the rest, I do sympathise. Our tunnels were mostly the old Victorian ones - the underground, obviously, but also the sewers, including the subterranean rivers of London, the Fleet, the Tyburn, the Effra, and that's not touching on shit like the old Post Office Railway, the myriad of government citadels down there, the pneumatic railway - we just poured concrete into that one until it stopped growling - and the
miles upon miles of Victorian-era utility tunnels.
The water ring main, too. We had to guide engineers down that to see if it was still in order, and repair it where it wasn't.
I don't think I can blame the civilians who tried to survive in that subterranean world. They didn't have the civilian survival manual back then, they didn't have Radio Free Earth. It was the Great Panic. Maybe a few souls who thought they knew those tunnels decided to make a go of it, a few more followed them, then a few more. The word spread, "it's safe underground." A quarter million in all, that's what the bone counters have determined, two hundred and fifty thousand refugees. Maybe if they had been organized, thought to bring food and tools, even had enough sense to seal the entrances behind them and make damn sure those coming in weren't infected…
Poor you, a quarter million.
A million, give or take, took shelter underground in London. It was a bigger city, and the historical legacy of sheltering from the Blitz in the Underground was actively used as propaganda by the city's gurning cretin of a mayor, so it isn't exactly surprising, but… fuck.
Once people started pouring in, there was no chance it wouldn't collapse. None. Whatsoever.
How can anyone claim that their experience can compare to what we endured? The darkness and the stink…we had almost no night vision goggles, just one pair per platoon, and that's if you were lucky. Spare batteries were in short supply for our electric torches, too. Sometimes there was only one working unit for an entire squad, just for the point man, cutting the darkness with a red-coated beam.
We had torches, I will grant that much. Everyone in every squad had a headtorch and a handheld - one of those big maglites that was halfway to a truncheon. I can't imagine doing this without my own light. I'd have shot myself, and I'm not being hyperbolic.
No, the dark wasn't our biggest concern. You learn not to mind it, like you learn not to mind the rats. London rats, I think, are probably their own species now. They don't fear humans, the little beasties just sit and watch us pass, wait for us to die - they can eat ghoulflesh, apparently, though not whilst its animate.
They're a neat early-warning system, too; if you see rats running, it means there's ghouls in the direction they're running from.
The air was toxic with sewage, chemicals, rotting flesh…the gas masks were a joke, most of the filters had long expired. We wore anything we could find, old military models, or firefighting hoods that covered your entire head, made you sweat like a pig, made you deaf as well as blind. You never knew where you were, staring through that misty visor, hearing the muffled voices of your squad mates, the crackle of your radioman.
The smell was… if you weren't there, you can't understand. Hell under the earth. We lifted what we could from where we could find it - torches were standard issue, but air filtration you couldn't find for love nor money.
There was a boy in our crew, Geordie - he always insisted we called him Geordie "til I'm back there" - who sorted this out for us, God rest his soul.
He had this fucking… whispy little nothing of a moustache, and he kept his hair slicked back with wax, and with his sticky fingers, no one was surprised he was in with the Black Market, but no one held it against him, because the boy didn't have a whit of malice in him.
It was still early days, we were just outside London proper, clearing some spur of the tube, and just as we were all having breakfast, up comes Geordie, all smiles.
"It's my birthday tomorrow," he said, "And I've got a present for us all. You'll be thanking me, so I won't hear another word about your cigarettes."
This was the first anyone
knew of him having traded away all the crew's cigarettes, naturally.
I don't know if he got cocky or distracted, or just didn't think he'd die the day before his 21st, but we only found out what name to put on his headstone when his mate turned up the next morning with a truck full of smocks and full-facial respirators, stolen from God only knows where, looking for "Wilbur"
No wonder the boy wanted us to call him Geordie.
Wilbur.
I have no doubt he saved my life that day, getting us some decent kit. Poor fucking kid.
We used old telephone wire, copper, not fiber optic. We would just rip it off the conduits and keep massive rolls with us to extend our range. It was the only way to keep in contact, and, most of the time, the only way to keep from becoming lost.
We did much the same. Lugging great rolls of copper wire down tunnels, someone screaming down the phone line whenever a pack of ghouls lurched out of the gloom, cast demonic by the red glare off our torches, listening to the crackling voice of someone in regimental HQ order us to rendezvous with another squad before we could move to respond with an SOS.
It was ordered chaos. I remember on the ship to Cuba there were a handful of our command staff, and I spoke to this one lieutenant about this. Banks of telephone lines stretching out of whatever warehouse they'd commandeered, always ringing, this wall of maps of tunnel networks, scrawled all over with the cave-ins and blasted-open doorways that survivors had left behind, and a constant rush to update where each squad was, whether they had strayed too far from their support, whether we could guarantee their lines of retreat…
High command fucked us, but our direct superiors tried their hardest.
When another squad was being attacked, you would hear their cries over the radio or echoing through the tunnels. The acoustics were evil; they taunted you. Screams and moans came from every direction. You never knew where they were coming from. At least with the radio, you could try, maybe, to get a fix on your comrades' position. If they weren't panicked, if they knew where they were, if you knew where you were…
People say its impossible, but I'll swear its true - we'd be working in the sewers (that was always the bread and butter, some 1000 miles of "main" sewers feeding countless thousands of miles of smaller sewers, mostly too small to traverse) and we'd hear someone screaming for help, clear as a bell, as though they were just around the bend, only you round the bend and there's no one there. And you talk to command and they tell you the only contact has been a squad in the Tube getting overrun, or a crew working the Post Office Rail getting ambushed. Sound shouldn't carry like that, everyone says it doesn't, but I'm not the only veteran who heard them down there.
By the end, we pretty much only moved to respond when command gave the green light. Safer that way, when you don't know what's real.
The running: you dash through the passageways, bash your head on the ceiling, crawl on your hands and knees, praying to the Virgin with all your might for them to hold for just a little longer. You get to their position, find it is the wrong one, an empty chamber, and the screams for help are still a long way off.
I remember, it was right near the end, we were in
central central london by then - so it must've been about '26. So close. We were working Embankment when we heard them on the phone- strangely echo-y, the river played funny tricks - screaming and screaming. Waterloo, it had to be.
We'd lost so many by this point, discipline was getting fragile.
So we ran, stumbling through the dark, under the Thames, deep as the Tube goes, and we came out into Waterloo, this hulking tumour of a station, and we're knee-deep in ghouls as soon as we arrive.
We must've killed dozens of them, but we never found the team there. Turns out she'd gotten turned around, ended up leading her squad into some fucking ridiculous pre-war art installation below the station. Absolutely rammed with ghouls. Didn't stand a chance, and if we'd found them, we'd just have died too. A company from one of the Guards regiments doing surface-clearance had to deal with them, in the end. Those regiments brought guns on mission with them, after all.
[He leans across the table, pressing his face inches away from mine.]
No standard equipment; whatever one believed would suit him. There were no firearms, you understand. The air, the gas, it was too flammable. The fire from a gun…
[He makes the sound of an explosion.]
This is true - we got into the habit of leaving our guns at camp, so no one would get tempted in a panic.
I had this billyclub. Rod of hardwood wrapped in steel. I used to be able to crack a skull like an egg with that thing.
We had the Beretta-Grechio, the Italian air carbine. It was a wartime model of a child's carbon dioxide pellet gun. You got maybe five shots, six or seven if it was pressed right up to their heads. Good weapon, but always not enough of them. And you had to be careful! If you missed, if the ball struck the stone, if the stone was dry, if you got a spark…entire tunnels would catch, explosions that buried men alive, or fireballs that melted their masks right to their faces. Hand to hand is always better. Here…
God bless the Italians. These were excellent, once we
finally got some, even if it was too late.
By then, they'd switched to lead pellets - no sparks - so even that risk was gone. Honestly, fire was never really our concern. It rained so consistently, so endlessly, that we were always more worried about the water - most of the gases in the air were "just" toxic, not flammable, anyway.
No room, no warning, suddenly they are upon you, perhaps right in front of your eyes, or grabbing from a side passage you didn't know was there. Everyone was armored in some way…chain mail or heavy leather…almost always it was too heavy, too suffocating, wet leather jackets and trousers, heavy metal chain-link shirts. You try to fight, you are already exhausted, men would tear off their masks, gasping for air, inhaling the stink. Many died before you could get them to the surface.
Chain mail. It was always damp, always rusty, but the ghouls couldn't bite through it. Leather was a false friend. Not nearly as hardy as you think.
He's right to point out - wearing the gas masks to fight for hours was torturous. You only have to watch someone puking up blood and bile after inhaling the foetid cocktail down there to learn to never remove the mask, though.
It was always wet. There was rot between your fingers, your toes, in your crotch. The water was up to your ankles almost all the time, sometimes up to your knees or waist. You would be on point, walking, or crawling—sometimes we had to crawl in the stinking fluid up to our elbows. And suddenly the ground would just fall away. You would splash, headfirst, into one of those unmapped holes. You only had a few seconds to right yourself before your gas mask flooded. You kicked and thrashed, your comrades would grab you and haul fast.
I was laid up for quite some time in Cuba with tunnel rot in various orifices, yeah. Wet, cold and dirty work, for years, with minimal treatment. I was tremendously lucky to get out of it "only" losing the pinkie toe on my left foot. Didn't even have substantial scarring anywhere else.
I will say, we never had the problem they had - almost all the tunnels we were working in were structurally sound enough that you didn't need to worry about unmapped submerged holes. Working in Victorian Cathedrals of shit had its miseries, but they were at least well-built.
Those were times when we called a full retreat to a defensive position and waited for the Cousteaus, the scuba divers trained to work and fight specifically in those flooded tunnels. With only a searchlight and a shark suit, if they were lucky to get one, and, at most, two hours of air. They were supposed to wear a safety line, but most of them refused to do so. The lines tended to get tangled and slow up the diver's progress. Those men, and women, had a one in twenty chance of survival, the lowest ratio of any branch of any army, I don't care what anyone says. 1 Is it any wonder they received an automatic Legion of Honor?
What is there to say? The scuba divers died en masse over here, too, but there wasn't a government willing to give them a medal by the end of it.
It's shit.
And what was it all for? Fifteen thousand dead or missing. Not just the Cousteaus, all of us, the entire core. Fifteen thousand souls in just three months. Fifteen thousand at a time when the war was winding down all over the world. "Go! Go! Fight! Fight!" It didn't have to be that way. How long did it take the English to clear all of London? Five years, three years after the war was officially over? They went slow and safe, one section at a time, low speed, low intensity, low casualty rate. Slow and safe, like most major cities. Why us? That English general, what he said about "Enough dead heroes for the end of time…"
I had to stand up and walk around a little, when I read this. Take a few deep calming breaths, then come back.
Anyway, twenty thousand of us died over a three year campaign, following two years in which we lost God only knows how many people scouting the city out, looking for the survivor enclaves we were positive must be in there, somewhere.
We went slow, ish, but not "one section at a time" - that doesn't even make sense for our spaghetti mess of underground infrastructure, any attempt to divide the city up was futile - and certainly not "safe".
And that quote - enough dead heroes for the end of time? That wasn't about rushing London. That was a quote used to explain why we were demobilising the Red Guards and accepting the authority of the "legitimate government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain."
We were told - after our most radical units were near-universally deployed to grind ourselves to nubs in London, so none of us could object - that too many heroes had died, that continuing the war would be "reckless adventurism".
I got kinda mad about this - I wrote him a letter!
He said I could include his apology and retraction, so…
[mes_condoléances.pdf]
There you go.
"Heroes," that's what we were, that's what our leaders wanted, that's what our people felt they needed. After all that has happened, not just in this war, but in so many wars before: Algeria, Indochina, the Nazis…you understand what I am saying…you see the sorrow and pity? We understood what the American president said about "reclaiming our confidence"; we understood it more than most. We needed heroes, new names and places to restore our pride.
This isn't true. France is not hurting for "military glory" in their history. Only an American would think France was feeling as though it were full of surrender-monkeys, you know? They're still so mad about Iraq.
The nationalist chestbeating here was
all about the government fleeing to Corsica and leaving the people to rot.
But the people didn't rot. They fought back, they scratched out a living, they survived. They reclaimed. So the government had to do
something to show they were still Here For France.
And so they took their soldiers, the brave, stupid men who followed them like good dogs over to Corsica, and they spent them like
fucking water on a vanity conquest of Paris, to show the people who never left France that the government was still willing to sacrifice for France.
It… worked, in that it prevented an immediate uprising, but France isn't in a good way, and unlike some countries, they don't really have
any part of their military loyal to them. Even the sociopath right wingers in the French military are spitting furious at how the government treated her soldiers.
The Ossuary, Port-Mahon Quarry, the Hospital…that was our shining moment…the Hospital. The Nazis had built it to house mental patients, so the legend goes, letting them starve to death behind the concrete walls. During our war it had been an infirmary for the recently bitten. Later, as more began to reanimate and the survivors' humanity faded like their electric lamps, they began throwing the infected, and who knows who else, into that undead vault. An advance team broke through without realizing what was on the other side. They could have withdrawn, blown the tunnel, sealed them in again…One squad against three hundred zombies. One squad led by my baby brother. His voice was the last thing we heard before their radio went silent. His last words: "On ne passe pas!"
What's the point?
Some of us had last stands like this, of course we did - the fifteen hour stand on the River Fleet, the forlorn hope at Marylebone, the war in the war rooms, hell, the Battle of Waterloo, to name but a few - but what's the point?
The dead don't care, and the living might pretend they do, but everyone forgot this before the bodies were even cold, because it was politically inconvenient.
Do not die in a last stand against a ghoul horde. Do not die on a futile barricade. Live. Live to see the tyrants of the world cast into the dust, so you can spit on their faces and walk away lighter. Or if not that, live so they cannot lie about your death.
Dying defiantly sounds wonderful, because it sounds easy. It is radical to live.
That's all I have to say about Andre, and I don't want to move onto the next interview, because Todd fucking Wainio is at it again, and that would taint this interview by association.
Donate to the Sanatorium for Infirm Women in Russia [HERE]; as the HRE gets increasingly rolled up, they're opening up more and more of the awful, awful camps out there. It's really, really bad.
Donate to the Lakota [HERE] - they're trying to rebuild as well as they can.
Donate to a South American group of your choice [HERE] - it's a masterlist.
Donate to the Namibian Relief Fund [HERE] - just because it's a war zone does not magically remove the civilians.
AN: Quite happy with this one. Let me know what you think! Also, I listened to this a bunch whilst writing this:
To get as close a vibe as I could to the atmosphere, if not the zombies, obviously.