Let's Play Every Final Fantasy Game In Order Of Release [Now Finished: Final Fantasy Tactics]

This old couple speaks in very thick Kansai accents ("the designated funny accent" as I believe Tim Rogers calls it later in Let's Mosey) which the Reunion translates... into Scottish accents. This is... strangely questionable. Like, apparently the lead on Reunion/Beacause is from the United Kingdom so my maybe the Scottish are seen as the right combination of funny and uncouth for it to be a proximal cultural reference... but, well, it's a bit annoying to read a phonetically spelled, accent right? There might be another motivation for this...

They're gonna give Remake Cait Sith the thickest, most incomprehensible Scottish brogue, and it's gonna be great.

EDIT: Not sure if anyone's pointed out yet, but it's super relevant to why Wall-Market is "that way" is that the "Hyper-Masculine Muscle-Man", and especially the flamboyant and exuberant types such as bodybuilders, along with crossdressing and drag queens are all modern stock characters and situations in Japanese comedy. It's such a cultural touchpoint that gay pornstar & bodybuilder wise philosopher and Gachimuchi superstar Billy "Aniki" Herrigton became a belovid minor media sensation purely off viral musical remixes of his gay porn instructional wrestling videos.
 
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The most egregious example of this that I've encountered recently is Gerudo Town in BotW.
What other options would there be for Gerudo Town? Link's not going to fight the guards because he's a hero and going murderblender on innocent people is wrong and he can't just drop in because there are guards all over the place including immediately next to anyone he would want to talk to. Like, what other options for infiltration does he have apart from "dress up like a woman"?
 
Ah yes. Reminds me of that bit in Ace Combat 7 where the AWACS operator talks about wanting to eat at some Italian restaurant.

In a game where the world map looks like this.

My good internet person, we share one brain cell

On a similar note, one of the best lines in the Remake is Cloud meeting Tifa in Corneo's mansion, Cloud still in drag:

Tifa: "Cloud?! Is that you!? Oh my god, that makeup! And that dress!"

Cloud: "Nailed it, I know. Thank you. Moving on."
I think my favorite part about the remake (and the original) is how neutral Cloud is about it. He's not disgusted by it but neither does he experience a trans awakening (like so many fanfics like to have), instead he's just mildly annoyed by the hassle of the whole thing. (And the attention, because he's an awkward dude that doesn't know how to handle any complements)

Like I don't know why but the juxtaposition of the super positive vibes + the "shut up and hand me that dress" acceptance is the best kind of comedy.

Edit: I think that it's because at no point is is the act of cross dressing or the cross dresser the butt of the joke, where as if Cloud reacted any other way it could become so.
 
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Wasn't a huge fan of this bit. At this point Cloud still feels a lot like a blank slate, put yourself in their place type of protagonist, and I personally have no real interest in cross dressing. Looking at it now, I can appreciate the work put into this arc, and that the Remake has Cloud as a more active participant, but…

Really, my biggest complaint with the wall market sequence is…not being able to bypass it completely. And that's on me and my own views of mechanical obstacles in games that don't make sense narratively. By all rights, narratively, Cloud should be able to waltz right through every goon in the building before interrogating the Don at sword point. It just makes me remember the stupid sapling blocking my way in Pokémon.

The most egregious example of this that I've encountered recently is Gerudo Town in BotW. To get in, you have to wear the Vai outfit. And that's fine, I want to re-iterate that I have no issue with this being an option. But its the only option. In a game defined by its many solutions to every problem, you only have one path. You can't sneak in, can't climb the walls, can't HALO drop in. you have to wear the specific outfit, which to add insult to injury, can't be upgraded. And it drives me nuts.
cloud is not going to do a buster sword massacre in wall street just to get inside a guy's house when he could just crossdress instead, this is a character beat now, he's not a self-insert he's just socially awkward
 
What other options would there be for Gerudo Town? Link's not going to fight the guards because he's a hero and going murderblender on innocent people is wrong and he can't just drop in because there are guards all over the place including immediately next to anyone he would want to talk to. Like, what other options for infiltration does he have apart from "dress up like a woman"?
I'm not saying it had to be easy, but managing to paraglider onto a rooftop at night, with no one in the area or even looking in your general direction should be rewarded with running around a "restricted area" for a minute or two before ending up face to abs with a patrolling guard, not an immediate disembodied voice yelling intruder and kicking you out. Ditto with "climb over the wall between patrols" and "walk in as a woman, and not immediately have a disembodied voice kick you out mid-wardrobe change."
To flesh the idea out, they could have had guards with areas of observation to avoid, maybe having some of the guards/town members turn a blind eye to you, with more doing so after you fix the divine beast. There was a lot of potential left on the table when it came to the southwest corner of Hyrule.

cloud is not going to do a buster sword massacre in wall street just to get inside a guy's house when he could just crossdress instead, this is a character beat now, he's not a self-insert he's just socially awkward

That's not what I was suggesting at all. There's a difference between wall market and Don Corneo's house/mansion. One is full of mostly innocents, the other is the headquarters of a gang of sexual aggressors, if not outright rapists.
 
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'Big Bro' is gone. Instead of a somewhat ambiguously-gendered cross-dresser, the head of the gym is Jules, who's just camp.
So maybe I'm misinterpreting the game because no one else has commented on this yet, but "Big Bro" IS in Remake. It's just not Jules.

I'm assuming you haven't played through the entirety of Remake yet so as to stay at the same place in both games, but in Remake you'll revisit Wall Market and find out who I'm talking about.
 
Wasn't a huge fan of this bit. At this point Cloud still feels a lot like a blank slate, put yourself in their place type of protagonist, and I personally have no real interest in cross dressing. Looking at it now, I can appreciate the work put into this arc, and that the Remake has Cloud as a more active participant, but…

Really, my biggest complaint with the wall market sequence is…not being able to bypass it completely. And that's on me and my own views of mechanical obstacles in games that don't make sense narratively. By all rights, narratively, Cloud should be able to waltz right through every goon in the building before interrogating the Don at sword point. It just makes me remember the stupid sapling blocking my way in Pokémon.
In Remake Cloud (or Aeris, one of them) says that'd just get them killed or whatever. Which is reasonable by most stretches. Of course it's heavy on the "gameplay vs story" power scale thing, the same reason why one lousy Guard will block your way when you just spent three dungeons going through an entire battalion's worth of them no sweat.

It's just One Of Those Things in video games.
 
It's a good bit! I like that. Barret doesn't see it that way though, and gets angry at Cloud's apparent greed - and the reason why becomes obvious when Tifa whispers to him that they really need the help and he replies that the money to hire Cloud is coming out of the savings he made to put Marlene through school.

...

But it hints at something else as well - Barret is having to spend his own personal savings to hire Cloud. That suggests he doesn't have an external source of funding to back his cell, even though Biggs implied earlier that Avalanche was connected to a broader group.

Like, if Avalanche is an ecoterrorist group trying to end Mako exploitation, then Barret's cell is shockingly successful at it. It doesn't seem like anyone ever took out a Mako reactor before, and he now has an ex-SOLDIER with intimate knowledge of Shinra's internal workings and security protocol on his side. Yet they're not being contacted, or supported by anyone; they're operating out of the basement of Tifa's bar, with IEDs put together by Jessie with whatever she could scrounge up, and using Barret's personal money to finance their operations.

Something's off, and I'm not sure what it is, or if it's intentional on the game's part.
I was thinking about this, and the way it reads to me is that AVALANCHE does pay Barret and the gang's bills, or at least, helps with supplementary funding. Like, unless he's bar-backing at Seventh Heaven off-screen, how else does Barret even have savings to dip into?

What they aren't doing is giving Barret a stipend to hire outside help. I think he picked up Cloud on his own recognizance, correctly recognizing that, as heavy as Barret is, he's not "take down the entire government" heavy. AVALANCHE might not even know Cloud's joined up.
 
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I was thinking about this, and the way it reads to me is that AVALANCHE does pay Barret and the gang's bills, or at least, helps with supplementary funding. Like, unless he's bar-backing at Seventh Heaven off-screen, how else does Barret even have savings to dip into?

What they aren't doing is giving Barret a stipend to hire outside help. I think he picked up Cloud on his own recognizance, correctly recognizing that, as heavy as Barret is, he's not "take down the entire government" heavy. AVALANCHE might not even know Cloud's joined up.
I mean, given that Barret's third highest Limit Break is some kind of orbital laser weapon he presumably has some bizarrely high-placed or well-funded support sources.
 
My take on why Cloud goes on an elaborate crossdressing adventure rather than John Woo-ing through Corneo's front door-

-If it were just Cloud vs the Wall Mobket, he could kick in the door and start dojo sweeping the place, sure. Could probably even win.
-But
-We don't know exactly what Tifa's on to, here.
-We don't know where exactly inside the mansion she is.
-We don't know if Corneo has some kind of nasty surprise inside, like a looted tank gun or the like.
-Therefore the risk of something going wrong is really, really high.
-Despite the lone wolf attitude, Cloud does not, in fact, want to potentially get Aeris killed while he's doing his best human blender impression.
-Really kind of a dick move.
-Meanwhile she's hot on this dress-up plan and uh.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
-I got nothing better.
-Fuck it let's go with plan B for Brides.

I think my favorite part about the remake (and the original) is how neutral Cloud is about it. He's not disgusted by it but neither does he experience a trans awakening (like so many fanfics like to have), instead he's just mildly annoyed by the hassle of the whole thing. (And the attention, because he's an awkward dude that doesn't know how to handle any complements)

Like I don't know why but the juxtaposition of the super positive vibes + the "shut up and hand me that dress" acceptance is the best kind of comedy.

I think it's really important for the context of Wall Market that Cloud starts off the game really huffing that 2cool4u merc attitude. Beneath the chilly exterior though, he's not a complete dickhole, and he does value his childhood friend, it's just he's wrapped up in his own brain about things so he keeps playing everything ice cube. Wall Market is basically fate (via Aeris*) poking him in the forehead and saying "you want to help Tifa, right? You know you wanna help Tifa. All you gotta do is wear a dress. Come on you big baby, it's not like we're asking you to lop off a hand, just wear a dress for a minute. What's the matter, you're down to go chopping through a platoon of Shinra boys and get bodied by a giant robot but you won't wear a cute dress for a hot minute? The cute girl from next door is into it. Uh. Oh shit, actually bunch of people are into it."

And Cloud, still trying to play it cool, accepts that his tough-guy merc routine isn't so important to him that he's not willing to wear a dress for a minute. The worst he suffers is, at most, a little deflation of the ego in the traditional-masculinity sense. And we giggle at him as the would-be anime bad boy pouts and that icy exterior cracks a bit.

-----------------------

After sleeping on my previous post about Wall Market and thinking on it some more, FF7 often gets labeled as cyberpunk, or cyberpunk adjacent, and this walk through Wall Market really does feel punk, warts and all. Poverty is rampant in a system that grinds people under heel, and in this corner of the slums springs up a mafia that runs a flashy, gaudy red-light district, yet in a place that could have been characterized by unrelenting misery is instead a tale of an almost radical acceptance of "sure handsome, do me a favor and I'll help make you the prettiest girl you've ever been."

* = I was gonna talk about it later, but really this is probably the time; one of the reasons I stick to spelling her name Aeris is because it's so close to Eris, the Greek goddess of discord, she of the famed golden apple that kickstarted the Trojan war. Thanks to memory holing in the subsequent years and spinoff materials like the oft-mentioned Advent Children, Aeris often got repainted in the fandom as the much more stereotypical healer-girl archetype, gentle and reserved, forgetting that Aeris Gainsborough could be a goddamn firecracker. To the point that FF7R blindsided some players by just reproducing and enhancing what was already there in the original. And it's another of FF7's great choices that the healer girl is, in fact, someone who'll come in swinging WITH THE STEEL CHAIR just as fast as she'll latch on to people needing help.
 
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Personally, I really don't like the Wall Market sequence.

This is entirely because of something Omicron also noted in his playthrough: the sidequests here are on another level, and I am quite certain I don't like that level.

It's the bizarre flippant logic of point-and-click adventure games, which I've never liked. Use the Pharmacy Coupon to get a Digestive to give to someone in distress in the toilet so they give you the Sexy Cologne. Everything up to "someone in distress in the toilet" has a reasonable logical course, but suddenly Sexy Cologne which that person just happens to have and is willing to give away to the person who helped them at the time.

And then there's the Diamond Tiara, which is much too extravagant a reward for information along the lines of "the vending machine sells energy drinks".

It's not at the point of Sierra style point and click games, but it's certainly at least to the LucasArts style. And because it's FFVII with FFVII's own peculiarities in savegames (as we saw, save points are scarce because the game can't account for the player accidentally soft-locking themselves), we can't retry and redo the puzzles until we get the intended results.
 
I suppose I'd agree if there were some major reward involved, but... literally all you miss out on if you don't make The Prettiest SOLDIER is a silly scene between Cloud and the Don, and I guess the opportunity for 5 Barret Relationship points? There's not some unique or early materia, or a rare one of a kind weapon or anything. You miss out on optional cutscene content and characterization, except you also miss out on that by winning because you don't get the little tidbits Omi mentioned like "literally horny zombies" and "Aeris on the back foot for the first time in the game so far."
 
I like Wall Market because A) it's silly without being mean about it, B) come on, crossdressing Cloud being universally described as a major hottie is funny, and C) Cloud is entirely unbothered by the experience, showing that you don't need to be a macho manly man to be masculine.

That third point bears expanding on, I think. It's impossible to deny that Cloud is masculine, right? Dude is tall, muscular, and fights for a living. He carries a sword bigger than some car doors and can swing it around with one hand. Nobody would blame the devs for making him uncomfortable with getting dolled up to seduce a sleazy mob boss. Instead, as far as he's concerned, it's just dressing up. It's not a threat to his masculinity because he genuinely doesn't care.

It's nice! It's very progressive in a 90s way.
 
Cloud's an interesting guy. Is he an antisocial killing machine with a hidden heart? Is he a bulliable awkward twink? He kind of goes back and forth; even when he's in 'cool guy mode', he had that 'I'll do the next job too, but it's not like I like you guys or anything' moment that completely sailed over Barret's head.

My take is that how he is with Aerith is Cloud 'off the clock', and the mercenary front is his 'work face.' But who's he fronting to, his nominal boss or the childhood friend in need of a hero?

Of course, then there's choose-your-own-responses where in front of both of those guys Cloud has the option to go '... I can't hang on', get mocked by Barret and then fall off the plate, so maybe it's just schizophrenic Video Game Stuff.
 
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I suppose I'd agree if there were some major reward involved, but... literally all you miss out on if you don't make The Prettiest SOLDIER is a silly scene between Cloud and the Don, and I guess the opportunity for 5 Barret Relationship points? There's not some unique or early materia, or a rare one of a kind weapon or anything. You miss out on optional cutscene content and characterization, except you also miss out on that by winning because you don't get the little tidbits Omi mentioned like "literally horny zombies" and "Aeris on the back foot for the first time in the game so far."
R E P L A Y A B I L I T Y

:V

At least the Remake gives you achievements and then makes you go do the whole thing three times for all the achievements so...still the same reasoning I guess.
 
Reunion choses a literal transliteration of "Abzu" or "Apsu", solely to make its relation to something later on a bit more literally spelled out.

Oh, Abzu. Sumerian personification of the primeval freshwater beneath the Underworld. That makes way more sense for a water-themed monsters hiding in the sewers underneath a criminal mansion. I guess the translator just wasn't up on his Mesopotamian mythology.

I actually think the most interesting part is how the Remake's characterization of Aerith in the Honey Bee scene is explicitly sexual? Not sexualized, but she is actually extremely horny for Cloud and it shows then and there. And in the original, she's a gremlin who is developing feelings for him but there's not so much of an emphasis on sexual desire outside of what is implied via romantic desire.

It really fits the character, but it's also kind of new.
Yeah, that's a great point. Female characters in media rarely get to be openly sexual beings without being portrayed as aggressive or sinful for it, still.

Ah yes. Reminds me of that bit in Ace Combat 7 where the AWACS operator talks about wanting to eat at some Italian restaurant.

In a game where the world map looks like this.
"There are SOLDIERs like you in every generation, and I've felled every last one of them."

On a similar note, one of the best lines in the Remake is Cloud meeting Tifa in Corneo's mansion, Cloud still in drag:

Tifa: "Cloud?! Is that you!? Oh my god, that makeup! And that dress!"

Cloud: "Nailed it, I know. Thank you. Moving on."

This is actually an invention of the English localization team, Cloud's line in Japanese is something more like "I don't need to hear it, there was no other way." Big improvement.
Damn, the modern English localization team for Squeenix game never ceases to be absolutely based.

I'm sorry, I have to go cry about Dark Knight lv 70 again-

Haven't the games been doing this since all the way back in FF1 to some extent or another? Granted it's a bit more noticeable in FF7 with 3D models where the weapons are always out and ready than in older games where you just briefly see "yo that new sword is brown instead of blue" while someone's swinging said weapon, but still, progress.
Yeah, but the big difference is the old 2D models didn't have a persistent existence on the field, they only showed up during the animation. There's a reason I never ended up commenting on new weapon appearances in older games, they're just not memorable :V

It's very 90s, because the Japanese text for that choice is 焼肉定食, "Yakiniku Teishoku": "Barbecued meat set meal". Now, we all probably know what "yakiniku" is, due to the proliferation of Japanese places offering that around the world, but the origin of Japanese yakiniku is, indeed, Korean barbecue. (From post-WW2 Korean restaurants introducing that specific grilled meat cuisine to Japan.)

So calling it "Korean BBQ plate" is one of those cases where it's probably the more familiar reference to an English speaker in the 90s. Honestly I would have translated it to "grilled meat plate", and accepted the loss of nuance that it's specifically freshly grilled and still sizzling meat.

Also "Sushi Plate" is more accurately "Sashimi Plate", but again I understand that the difference between "sushi" and "sashimi" might not have been obvious back in the 90s.
Ah, thanks. "What the fuck is the Korean BBQ Plate supposed to be" is a question that has been haunting a few of us on Discord for days now; theories put forward was that it was meant to be bulgogi, kalbi, or samgyupsal.

Turns out while related, it was none of these and the "Korean" was an invention of the translator I guess :V

So in the Japanese text, the woman starts lines with "Po-" before going into customer service mode. The English translation appears to interpret this as the woman being out of breath due to hurrying or nervousness.

But with the context from above, the more natural interpretation is the woman is barely able to stop addressing Cloud with the insulting nickname she came up for him in her head.
Incredible.

Exact same thing happened with Squall (don't think that's a spoiler since Omi has moderate knowledge of FF8), mostly courtesy of Rinoa

Wait.

Wait a minute.

The fuck do you mean, Rinoa?

Oh yeah, that's getting into Limit Break naming fights. The Reunion translates it directly to Curse Slash because that's what it is given the paralysis effect and edgy kanji. I presume the original translator either couldn't see the kanji in the animation or assumed that the average American player wouldn't understand the implication and would just see it as Cloud doing a particularly cool sword combo.

Although... now that I think about it, where does the power of a lot of these Limit Breaks come from in-universe, when all the "normal" magic is manufactured Materia? Like, Tifa's just doing some really flashy grapples, Aerith having some inherent restorative/spiritual magic separate from her Materia makes sense, Barret probably has extra attachments and special weapons besides his current gun arm, but now Cloud has the power to channel some evil, menacing power through his sword?

Let's put a pin in that for some later Limit Breaks I've already seen in my game...

That one I think is easily explained by looking at Final Fantasy VI.

Remember how magic is only and solely derived from espers/the Warring Triad, yet when we meet Sabin, he's capable of delivering ki blasts and destroying advanced machines with his bare hands, and only grows more powerful including unlocking healing powers and fiery tornadoes, all of it without 'magic'?

I think in the world of FFVII, everyone has something that might be called 'ki' or 'chi' or 'cosmos' in another story. The human soul has a kind of innate spiritual power, and with the right techniques, you can tap into that power and "break their limit," exceed human potential to perform incredible feats under pressure. The more 'weird' a character is, the more out there their Limit Breaks get - Tifa just punches people really fast, really hard, while Cloud who is touched by Mako can have esoteric sword slashes. But potentially, all humans can 'exceed their potential' - achieve Limit Break.

So maybe I'm misinterpreting the game because no one else has commented on this yet, but "Big Bro" IS in Remake. It's just not Jules.

I'm assuming you haven't played through the entirety of Remake yet so as to stay at the same place in both games, but in Remake you'll revisit Wall Market and find out who I'm talking about.

I have... Genuinely no idea who you might be referring to.

In Remake Cloud (or Aeris, one of them) says that'd just get them killed or whatever. Which is reasonable by most stretches. Of course it's heavy on the "gameplay vs story" power scale thing, the same reason why one lousy Guard will block your way when you just spent three dungeons going through an entire battalion's worth of them no sweat.

It's just One Of Those Things in video games.

Judging by the visuals of the Remake in gameplay and story cutscenes, Cloud is... Still meant to be relatively fragile. He's superhumanly strong, fast, and resilient, but he deals with bullets mainly by using quick dodges, positioning, overwhelming speed against human opponents, and leveraging his enormous sword as a body shield. He can overtake most ordinary soldiers equipped with modern rifles, but when he's facing a vehicle-mounted minigun, he has to actually take cover.

So in that paradigm, taking on Corneo's mansion is something he could do, but not trivially. It would represent a real risk and be time- and effort-consuming, and potentially put Tifa in danger.

Personally, I really don't like the Wall Market sequence.

This is entirely because of something Omicron also noted in his playthrough: the sidequests here are on another level, and I am quite certain I don't like that level.

It's the bizarre flippant logic of point-and-click adventure games, which I've never liked. Use the Pharmacy Coupon to get a Digestive to give to someone in distress in the toilet so they give you the Sexy Cologne. Everything up to "someone in distress in the toilet" has a reasonable logical course, but suddenly Sexy Cologne which that person just happens to have and is willing to give away to the person who helped them at the time.

And then there's the Diamond Tiara, which is much too extravagant a reward for information along the lines of "the vending machine sells energy drinks".

It's not at the point of Sierra style point and click games, but it's certainly at least to the LucasArts style. And because it's FFVII with FFVII's own peculiarities in savegames (as we saw, save points are scarce because the game can't account for the player accidentally soft-locking themselves), we can't retry and redo the puzzles until we get the intended results.

See, this is because your mind is still trapped within the Old Ways. I, who have never played a point-and-click adventure game before, simply do not respect them. It takes me until the exact moment I decide a puzzle is kind of annoying to reach for google and find the solution. If I'm given a choice between three items and there is no clear in-game information to make the correct choice, I immediately look it up. I never allow any one of these bullshit puzzles to annoy me for more than 30 seconds.

Life is too short.
 
The only good kind of Point And Click Adventure Game is the Sam and Max kind, where you can't lock yourself into a bad route or make the game unwinnable and there's amusing flavor text for every interactable combo of character and item so the player has a reason beyond obsessive compulsive disorder to keep trying random things until something works
 
Depending on the game, I can find it quite fun to work out puzzles on my own. Like for a long while, I've been considering getting out a full-ass notebook and playing through La Mulana without any outside help.

But there's a vast difference between "Puzzle game that actually has hints to help you solve all of said puzzles" and "Point and Click Adventure Game Logic where you have to set the curtains on fire to get the curtain rod to brace the closing security door" or some other shit. Or even just "Wrath of the Righteous has puzzles that aren't particularly good made ten times worse because they seriously aren't designed to work in this game engine". Those kinds? I'll look up a guide with absolutely no remorse.
 
I've found that the key to puzzle games is often to just click on everything and try to use items everywhere; sort of analogous to the RPG habit of talking to everyone and walking through every door.
 
I think this is less a puzzle and more of the same tendency to encourage swaping rumors that has been encountered elsewhere in previous entries. Getting a basic version of the disguise doesn't seem super difficult or obtuse(as long as you just talk to everyone), so you're not being locked out of progressing. But to get the best version you need to do more, some of which you'll almost certainly need to have talked to other people who've done it.
 
I have... Genuinely no idea who you might be referring to.
Spoiler in case you want to be surprised.

Andrea Rhodea. The owner and boss of the Honeybee inn whom Cloud dances with. In chapter… 15, I think?… you find him working out at the gym.

Especially considering the text of the original in English, with Cloud and Aerith being shocked that he is THE Big Bro, I think Andrea definitely fits the description of "famous cross-dresser/ambiguously gendered gym rat who enthusiastically helps Cloud with his disguise".
 
Judging by the visuals of the Remake in gameplay and story cutscenes, Cloud is... Still meant to be relatively fragile. He's superhumanly strong, fast, and resilient, but he deals with bullets mainly by using quick dodges, positioning, overwhelming speed against human opponents, and leveraging his enormous sword as a body shield. He can overtake most ordinary soldiers equipped with modern rifles, but when he's facing a vehicle-mounted minigun, he has to actually take cover.

So in that paradigm, taking on Corneo's mansion is something he could do, but not trivially. It would represent a real risk and be time- and effort-consuming, and potentially put Tifa in danger.
Agreed. He's super-human, but still human. A bullet could still kill him as surely as anyone else. Adding in, he doesn't know the layout of Corneo's mansion, what they're armed with and how many goons he has and it's potential suicide. He'd have limited room to maneuver/dodge and no idea what the opposition would be throwing at him - perhaps literally - and it's no wonder straight attacking is a terrible idea.

It's vastly simplified in this version, of course, but I always counted HP as their "dodge meter" and when it runs out they succumb to injuries and/or miss a beat and go down. They're not literally tanking bullets, grenades and swords to the face but a culmination of near-misses, slight wounds and sheer chance finally conspire to have them get hit in a bad enough way that they go "Wounded" when the HP count hits 0.
 
That's a fine take, but I think it's equally valid for people that live on The Planet to be superhuman, and SOLDIERs are just more superhuman than most by dint of getting closer to the Planet Lifeblood Stuff.

Limit Breaks exist in-universe rather than as a function of game mechanics, after all. Maybe people here can just eat half a dozen fireballs and a couple grenades head-on before dying.
 
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