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Jace911 "Reviews" Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Karazor said:
You see a ton of stuff that you missed or didn't recognize the first time through on a rewatch. It's seriously worth it.

*Edit*

BTW, Jace, "wallpurplesnot" is "Walpurgisnacht". It's German for "Walpurgis Night" which, IIRC, is a witches' festival. :)
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His way is better than people going Waluigi Nacht or something. Everyone has there own comic version of Walmart Night's name.
 
Episode Nine Reactions:

FOR FUCK'S SAKE TOOTHY

STOP LISTENING TO BLUE HAIR MOAN ABOUT HOW MUCH HER LIFE SUCKS AND GIVE HER A

FUCKING

GRIEF

SEED

NO

NO NO NO NO NO

NO YOU RAT BASTARDS

THE ONE FUCKING CHARACTER

THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKMOTHERING SHOW I ACTUALLY LIKED

AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO FUCKING KILL HER

YOU HAVE TO GO AND

AND

*INCOHERENT GIBBERISH*

YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE

JUST GO AHEAD AND PISS ON HER FUCKING ASHES I AM COMPLETELY OUT OF SHITS TO GIVE

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

…

sayaka come back ;____;

…

OH WELL AT LEAST THE FUCKING INTRO IS STILL HERE TO CHEER EVERYTHING UP HOW ABOUT THAT SHIT GUYS

ESPECIALLY SINCE TWO OUT OF THE THREE CHARACTERS THAT ARE SMILING AT THE END ARE FUCKING DEAD

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-



okay so the doctor said I should be fine as long as I avoid raising my blood pressure so Im gonna try and take it easy for the rest of this episode

ahem

so we join pinkie during her nightly stroll through the empty light rail switching yard

like ya do

where she just so happens to run into Toothy and goth chick carrying Sayaka's empty body in the opposite direction did they rsvp this or something

okay wow that was an unnecessarily creepy shot of goth chick there show

"that's the final secret of soul gems: when they turn completely black they transform into grief seeds and a witch is born" excuse me I don't mean to be rude but this seems like an extremely important bit of information that might have been useful in averting the recent tragedy

also I am quite disappointed with myself for not noticing how similar in appearance soul gems are to eggs before just now

"it's not true, it can't be true!"

fucking train every night you scream by my apartment just when im falling asleep the least you can do is stay out of my animes

"she only wanted to fight witches…she only wanted to be a hero!"

…



no I'm not saying it



shoo



I SAID NO

"and you dare call yourself human?" "no of course I don't" I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE

oh wow did we just witness a rare ULTRA DRAMATIC HAIR FLIP HEEL PIVOT C-C-C-COMBO

why do clocks in japan not have numbers

pinkie is understandably upset at the revelation that her best friend has turned into a lovecraftian nightmare so HASDFHGLASDFGHJSDHLHSD HEY EVERYONE GUESS WHO IT IS

it's everyone's favorite character in the entire show

with his fucking adorable little ears coming out of his other ears

"may I'd come in? I'd like to talk with you" pinkie I would strongly suggest that you inform cat thing you are in no mood for conversation and would rather that he GO FUCK HIMSELF SIDEWAYS WITH A TELEPHONE POLE come back another time

or he could just teleport inside without waiting for permission that's cool too

"please don't misunderstand our intentions" oh well by all means do explain cat thing after all WE WOULDN'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY MISUNDERSTANDINGS BETWEEN US NOW WOULD WE

WOULD WE?



"we don't do what we do because we harbor ill will towards the human race" oh well I for one am immensely comforted by this HOW ABOUT YOU SAYAKA HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL



mm yes I see

"everything we've done is to prolong the life of the universe" oh this oughta be good

*five minutes later*



I don't know what I was expecting

"we needed a form of energy that wasn't limited by the laws of thermodynamics and then we found out that the suffering of teenage girls could be converted into buttloads of clean energy through entirely arbitrary means"

I just

what

I don't know if it's the meds or if I'm still emotionally drained from the last two episodes but I am just incapable of accepting this explanation on even the lowest level

I mean for realz this is some Mass Effect 3 silliness right here

"I can literally grant you any wish you can think of, instantly, bam, done, don't even worry about it, and I have been for thousands of years but oh noes the universe is running out of energy what shall we doooooo"

this is like if Genie from Aladdin accidentally locked his keys in the car

and then magically summoned an iPhone so he could call triple A

protip writers if you're gonna include a character that can literally grant wishes maybe try not to forget that you included a character that can literally grant fucking wishes

"what are you really" well I would offer my personal opinion but according to the doctor that would be detrimental to my health at the moment

"but we always ask for and be sure to receive your consent before making the contract"



"we don't understand this concept of tricking" of course not

hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"is there a way to get her soul gem back the way it was?" pardon me Toothy but given recent events are you entirely certain it's wise to request crucial advice from THE VERY CREATURE WHO LED YOU BY THE NOSE INTO THIS STICKY SITUATION

"I wouldn't be surprised if you were capable of doing all sorts of amazing things" "then it is possible" um excuse me Toothy but THAT IS NOT EXACTLY WHAT CAT THING SAID I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO NOT ACT ON THIS

"who'd ask for your advice now?" EXCUSE ME TOOTHY BUT I BELIEVE YOU JUST DID

okay Jace easy does it deep breaths

oh sweet fucking Buddha we're only halfway through the episode

pinkie walks to school with green hair the next morning, who is apparently oblivious to the fact that her friend is likely suffering from severe post traumatic stress disorder

"that's too bad, and it looks like Sayaka is staying home again" YES HOME THAT IS WHERE SHE IS SHE'S HOME AND SHE'S FINE

heegagurgurk magical girl telepathy sniping strikes again

you know that would be the best way to troll someone just start singing Rick Astley in their head while hiding in the bushes and see how long it takes them to become a serial killer

"just because Sayaka was turned into a witch doesn't mean she won't remember the voice of a friend" I have a pleasant sensation in regards to this plan Toothy I'm certain my hopes will be vindicated

"wouldn't that be something? it'd be like one of those stories where love and courage triumph and stuff" welp there go the happy feelings now it's definitely going to fucking fail

Toothy and pinkie seal the deal with a candy bar exchange because that's what you do I guess

goth chick's plot senses start to tingle so she slips out of class

I gotta say from what I've seen in anime schools in Japan are pretty fucking chill about letting students bullshit their way out of classes with the "can I go to the nurse's office" trick

in American public schools if you show up at the nurse's office without internal bleeding or cancer your ass gets suspended

the melodramatic violins return once again to herald the beginning of another undoubtedly happy scene

wallpurplesnot's name is dropped once again

probably because nobody can spell it *rimshot*

and I just connected the dots between it and whatever goth chick was fighting in the totally-a-dream-intro of the first episode

oh for fuck's sake show was it really necessary to make her pseudo-nekked for the transformation sequence I thought we were over that shit

you know at this point I'm not surprised that pinkie is STILL harboring thoughts about becoming a magical girl she's like a moth to a fucking plasma cutter

I gotta say I don't know if it's the music or what but the atmosphere of this fight is so much more fucking tense than every other fight in the show so far

"hey Sayaka it's pinkie do you remember me?" GIANT DEATH WHEELS

you know I think she remembers

"Sayaka please stop we're your friends remember?!" [DEATH WHEELS INTENSIFY]

yeah she definitely remembers you two

um

and then Sayaka and Toothy turned into Koolaid and made out????

"dammit Sayaka you told me you believed in your power! you said you were only going to use it to help people, remember?" somehow I do not think that Sayaka needs to be reminded of her morals and precisely where they landed her Toothy

"hey God if you're listening my life sucked" OH WELL THAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL DOESN'T IT

goth chick shows up to save the day, and by that I mean pinkie's worthless ass

wait what

Toothy are you for srs right now

come on, please don't

please

"I know Sayaka, it sucks to be alone" PLEASE

pls don't leave me too ;____;

oh and here's cat thing visiting goth chick in her weird-ass apartment I wonder what wisdom he'll impart on her now

"was there any way for Kyoko to save Sayaka?"

"of course not!"

"of course not!"

OF COURSE NOT HAHAHAHAHAHA



THE END
 
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To be entirely fair, Kyubey does not, in fact, have the ability to use the powers he grants. He can only "grant wishes", not "spoiler" or "spoiler" or "OH DEAR GODS SPOILER".

(I'm caught between schadenfreude at your reactions, and empathetic cringing at my own reaction at this point. I was crying buckets.)
 
"I can literally grant you any wish you can think of, instantly, bam, done, don't even worry about it, and I have been for thousands of years but oh noes the universe is running out of energy what shall we doooooo"

this is like if Genie from Aladdin accidentally locked his keys in the car

and then magically summoned an iPhone so he could call triple A

protip writers if you're gonna include a character that can literally grant wishes maybe try not to forget that you included a character that can literally grant fucking wishes
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I just wanted to comment on this. I don't know if this is a translation error or not, but the Incubators can't grant wishes on their own. They're basically a catalyst that sets off the reaction. Both the initial wish, the transformation, and the final consumption of the Grief Seed all gets them energy out of the process, but the wish is pretty much all on the girl and her magical potential.
 
Remembering the reasons I absolutely loatheabhordespisedetesthatecontemptmurderdeathkill that xenos scum.... brb calling for Exterminatus...

Jace911 said:
I mean for realz this is some Mass Effect 3 silliness right here
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There's actually an image for that...



The only pic I know where the Reapers are the GOOD guys...
 
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Jace911 said:
I mean for realz this is some Mass Effect 3 silliness right here

"I can literally grant you any wish you can think of, instantly, bam, done, don't even worry about it, and I have been for thousands of years but oh noes the universe is running out of energy what shall we doooooo"
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Its strongly implied later on that Kyubey uses the girls' own innate power to grant their wishes. He also usually approaches them when they're in great (percieved) need and not thinking rationally, so their wishes are usually pretty cheap in terms of energy.

He's making an exception to that last bit with Madoka and Co, for reasons that will be explained in the next few episodes.
 
Jace911 said:
"I can literally grant you any wish you can think of, instantly, bam, done, don't even worry about it, and I have been for thousands of years but oh noes the universe is running out of energy what shall we doooooo"

this is like if Genie from Aladdin accidentally locked his keys in the car

and then magically summoned an iPhone so he could call triple A

protip writers if you're gonna include a character that can literally grant wishes maybe try not to forget that you included a character that can literally grant fucking wishes
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Wishes we've seen Kyubey grant: Save me, heal his arms, make people come to this mans church.

Somewhat easier then making Entropy stop being a thing. No Limits Fallacy exists for a reason.
 
LGear said:
Remembering the reasons I absolutely loatheabhordespisedetesthatecontemptmurderdeathkill that xenos scum.... brb calling for Exterminatus...



There's actually an image for that...



The only pic I know where the Reapers are the GOOD guys...
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Click to shrink...

You want to know something terrible?

The reapers and the incubators have more or less the same goals in wanting to preserve as much life as possible for as long as possible no matter the cost. If they were in the same universe, they would probably be besties.

In fact, its very likely that there would be millions of willing volunteers to become an incubator-reaper.
 
The energy they get from teenage girl angst probably makes granting their wishes easy. What have we seen the wishes used for? Healing a boy's hands and influencing people. That's small potatoes compared to what Meguca needs to fight and survive.

Ninja'd by quite a few people.
 
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Bunnycat CAN'T grant wishes though. That's part of the whole point of his speech, wishes are magic, are tied to emotions, the tide of hope and despair. Kyubey's people have don't feel the way we do, so they have no magic. They're sufficiently advanced, don't get me wrong, but the only magic they 'deal' is unleashing it in others, and harvesting it when they burn out.

They give the girls the power to grant their own wish, and the process of unleashing that wish turns the girl into a magical girl.
 
Uh... Am I the only one who doesn't think that Kyubey is a dick? He's trying to make sure the universe doesn't end, and if he has to drive a few girls into despair/wipe out a few species to do it, so be it. More species will survive because of it.

Then again, I'm the guy who thinks that the Anti-Spiral were justified, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
 
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