How to Train Your Endbringer
- Thread starter RavensDagger
- Start date
- Location
- South of North
So here's the question of the day...
Everyone knows why Queen Administrator and the Fairy Queen are pants-shittingly terrifying. It's pretty obvious. However... how long is it going to take before people start wondering why Panacea got invited? Especially with Ciara's epithet of 'little princess' running around, Ziz shit-posting, and the PRT putting this tea party under a microscope.
How long is it going to be before Amy is essentially forced to erect her own castle of flesh and flowers lest she be yoked and collared as a potential Nilbog?
- Location
- SoCal, USA
Definitely wouldn't want to that, now, would we?
'Silly timing'? Here I thought it was great timing. Maybe I should check my alarm, could be faulty.
- Location
- Just south of nowhere and a little to the left.
And thus the importance of proper capitalization is shown. For 'tis the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "I helped my uncle jack off a horse"
Well yes, but "She decided to leave the Birdcage" is a lot less threateningly warning-y.
- Location
- The State of Denial
"She decided to go on a walk."
"A walk?"
"A very ENTHUSIASTIC walk."
"A walk?"
"A very ENTHUSIASTIC walk."
- Location
- Missouri
"Fuck it, dropping the formalities. QUEEN ADMINISTRATOR!!!!.... go for a walk."
- Location
- Neptune
QA's response: "Fuck off!" and riding her Segway into the sunset.
In Which It Begins
RavensDagger
Officially Infracted Speceist since 2019!
- Location
- Someplace Cold, Canada
In Which the Tournament Begins
"This is a bad idea," Rebecca said.
He shrugged one shoulder. "You're right. It's a downright terrible idea. But then, imagine if I'm not there?"
Rebecca winced, the expression pinching around her false eye. "I'm reluctant to agree to send you out there. It'll be dangerous. She's dangerous, and that's not counting the presence of the Faerie Queen. But," she paused, her helmet which she held in both hands shifting idly. "But you're probably right. If you're there the likelihood of everything going to hell is lessened, at least somewhat."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he said as he pulled on his own mask. With his face now partially covered he was Legend once more. Not that it truly changed anything. Some, like Rebecca, had subtle shifts in their personality when in costume. He didn't belittle her the change, it made sense with what she did on the daily. But that wasn't the kind of person he wanted to be. "I'll see you around?" he asked.
She nodded. "I'll be watching."
With a final goodbye, Legend turned towards the far wall of the conference room. "Door to Brockton Bay," he said.
***
"I don't know," Riley said.
"Oh, come on now, Bonesaw, think of all the fun we'll have," he said.
Jack was wearing a grin that stretched from ear to ear as he sauntered next to the biotinker. Behind him, Ned lumbered after them, Mannequin draped over his back like a sack of hard plastic potatoes, and Cherish, the team's newest member, scuttled after the team with the constantly moving eyes of someone trying to look like they weren't panicking.
Burnscar was skipping along, her arms crossed behind her head and her eyes tilted up to the sky where columns of black smoke were joining the puffy white clouds far above.
Riley was about to reply but had to pause for some guy to finish screaming as he ran away from a swarm of her newest spider robots. "I don't know, Uncle Jack. Queen Administrator did tell you not to go into her city anymore. And with very strong words, too."
"Ah, that's true, that's true," he agreed easily. With a flick of his wrist he made a knife appear from out of his sleeve, then he made an expansive gesture as if to encompass the small town they were in. A few bisected bodies thumped to the ground halfway down the street. "But look at how dull this place is after visiting Brockton Bay. It'll do us good to be in the centre of all the fun again. And, there's a loophole."
"A loophole?" she repeated.
He nodded solemnly, reached into his bloodstained jacket and pulled out a folded newspaper. Turning it over, he pointed at an article surrounded by bloody fingerprints. "Look at this," he said.
Riley grabbed the paper and scrunched up her nose as she read it. "It's just about her flying arena thing," she said.
"Ah, but it's a flying arena. An arena that is, technically, not in Brockton Bay."
Riley's eyes went wide, then a huge grin split her features. "You're the smartest, Uncle Jack!"
***
Like any respectable event where thousands of people from all over the world gathered to watch and participate, there was a festive air surrounding the city while above it The Queen Administrator's Colosseum floated.
Off the wharfs of Brockton Bay was a bridge. Not the gentle, filigreed passage leading to the Grand Administratorius, but a new edifice made of stony outcrops and frozen plates. This bridge led into a portal. The hole in the world snapped and crackled like something out of a mad scientist's wet dreams. It would have been worrying, and to some it was, but the opposite end of the portal was visible high above the city of Brockton Bay where it led to the Colosseum.
The Colosseum floated in the skies in much the way any building shouldn't.
Taylor had heard the news trying to describe the building in a way that would inspire the proper mental image in the unimaginative and those who watch too much daytime television. They said it looked like the great Roman Colosseum, only this one floated and was built by a yandere Simurgh.
Graceful stone arches surrounded the white, feathery edifice. Within those arches were statues of playful Endbringers munching on heroes and bowing in servitude to their queen and master.
"Do you think the giant statue of my face is a bit much?" Taylor asked Mouse Protector.
The heroine, used as she was to the abnormality of anything having to do with Queen Administrator, looked down at the huge face of her charge; the gaping marble mouth was wide open and the first of the spectators were walking out of it and into the stands lining the inside of the stadium. "It's a bit much, yeah," she agreed.
Taylor pouted up at the building, then looked down to where the Simurgh was directing traffic with a pair of glowing red batons and a XXXL sized safety jacket on. So far, other than a few skittish people that had run off screaming at the sight of the Endbringer, the crowd walking to the arena was fairly tame. In fact, they were behaving very well for such a large and diverse group.
The Queen's box, which was mostly a viewing gallery at the very top of the arena, was a fairly simple room. Long couches lined the far wall, across from which floor to ceiling windows gave them a panoramic view of the Colosseum's ground floor and the fifty-odd thousand seats that were just starting to fill up.
Breaking up the ostentatious aesthetic of the room was a booth that protruded out of the front of the viewing area. Two seats mounted on swivels sat in front of a console covered in buttons and small screens. It was, in short, the control centre for the entire arena and the place where the commentators were meant to sit.
"So, who did you invite to the VIP room?" Mouse Protector asked. She made her way to the far end of the room where a tea bar was tucked up against the wall. It was an idea Taylor had had and discussed at length with the Simurgh. It was like a bar, only for tea. It wasn't a very complicated idea.
"Well, Ciara, obviously, and she'll bring Canary along. Oh, and I invited Cass and Dragon and Amy and Lisa, basically all of my friends." Taylor paused in the middle of the room, head tilting as she thought for a moment. "I have a lot of friends now, don't I?"
"You sure do," Mouse Protector said.
"Wow, who knew that the best way to make friends was to have the ability to ruin everyone's lives on a whim. Maybe Emma had it right all along," she remarked to herself.
"Who's Emma?" Mouse Protector asked as she rummaged through the cabinets in search of something a little stronger than chamomile.
"She..." Taylor stopped near the commentator's booth and looked down at the ground for a moment, her thoughts whirling around until, finally, she smiled up at her knight and friend. "She's no one important."
Mouse Protector shrugged, letting the conversation go as though it was of no concern, which, to Taylor, it really was.
They were both saved from suffering from the boredom of silence by a tentative knock at the room's door. Taylor perked up at the console, then stared at Mouse Protector with a 'who's that' sort of expression on.
"Must be the first of your friends," Mouse Protector said as she shoved off the wall and headed towards the doorway. She shuffled over, shimmied on the spot to make sure all of her armoured plates were sitting in the right spots, fixed her favourite smile on, and tore the door open. "Leggy!" she screamed.
"Ah, hello, Mouse Protec--" the Triumvirate hero started before being interrupted by a hundred odd kilos of excited woman. He stumbled back a step, arms reaching up to hold Mouse Protector up against his chest. "Um," he said.
Mouse Protector looked up at the hero with stars in her eyes. "Hi, I'm Mouse Protector, and I've been a very good girl. This year, for Christmas, I want an entire tub of chocolate sauce, new bedsheets and a raise."
"A raise?" he asked as he looked down at the woman lounging almost comfortably in his arms. "You're an independant, the Protectorate isn't responsible for your paycheque."
"Ah, c'mon, Leggy, you know that's not the only way to get a raise outta me," she said with much eyebrow wiggling.
The hero rolled his eyes, but the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips gave away his good mood. "Alright, get off me," he said while dropping her to the ground. The heroine pouted at him, but she soon jumped back to her spot next to Taylor. "Hello, Queen Administrator," Legend said.
"Hey Legend!" Taylor said as she hopped out of her seat and walked over to the hero. "Hey, did you ever do commentary before?" she asked.
"I have, yes," he said. "Though it has been some time. Is that the commentator's booth?" he asked while gesturing at the two chairs and the console jutting out of the front of the room.
"Yup," Taylor said before hopping back on the seat so that it swivelled and made her spin. "I was going to be your partner, and maybe I'll join you later, but I kinda sorta have to be down below for the opening, you know?"
"You're the main star, of course," Legend said.
Taylor's face grew radiant as she blushed, but she covered it with an ear-splitting grin and motioned to the desk covered in screens and microphones and other doo-dads. "That's the prompter. Simmy wrote out your dialogue already," she said while pointing to one screen in particular. With a flick, the screen lit up, revealing a black background on which sat some white text.
"My dialogue?" Legend asked. "I thought the commentary would be off the cuff."
"Oh, it will be," Taylor said. "See, Simmy looked ahead to see exactly what you would say. So the words that appear are what you would have said had there been no prompter anyway. This just makes it so that there's less hmming and uhing and screaming."
Legend paused, took a moment to process that, then shrugged. "Not even the strangest thing I've seen this week," he finally admitted.
"Cool! So, the opening ceremony is pretty simple, Just the participants coming in one at a time and being introduced, then me greeting them, then the explanation of the first task. If we have time, Simmy will sing the national anthem."
"Ah," Legend said. "I don't think that's... terribly wise. The Simurgh singing might cause some panic. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it."
"But she has such a pretty voice," Taylor said.
"I've heard her sing before, I... don't know if pretty is the word I would use for it."
Taylor gave him a scrutinizing look, then glanced over to Mouse Protector who just shrugged expansively. "Are you sure you heard her singing?"
One of Legend's eyebrows quirked. "While she attacked a few cities, yes."
"Ah," Taylor said as if that explained everything, because it did. "That's not her singing, that's her screaming. Entirely different."
"What, exactly, is the difference?"
"Isn't that pretty self-explanatory?"
He shook his head. "It really isn't, I'm afraid."
Taylor hummed in thought for a moment. "You're talking about the mind rapey bits, aren't you? Don't worry, she doesn't actually need to make any noise to do that."
"Than why the singing?" Legend asked. He was caught somewhere between horrified, fascinated and dumbstruck, like someone watching a train crash into a delivery van, only to realize that the van was heading towards your home with a delivery just for you.
"Don't tell anyone, but Simmy is afraid of heights."
Legend blinked slowly, and even Mouse Protector tilted her head to one side as though looking at Taylor from an angle would make things more clear.
Taylor nodded. "She's not singing. She's screaming because the ground is coming up so fast and her wings are mostly for show. I mean, wouldn't you scream if you were dropped from orbit? I mean, if you couldn't turn into a rainbow."
Legend was still processing that earth-shattering discovery when the door to the room slid open and a trio of girls stepped into the room. Taylor made a happy, wordless noise as she skipped around Legend and rushed towards her guests.
Amy, who was standing before a straight-backed and poised Ciara, cringed back, enough so that Canary had to stop quite suddenly lest she bump into the healer. "No surprise hugs!"
Taylor's sprint ended a few feet away from Amy where she stood, arms still held out to her sides for a few seconds before she let them fall. "Didn't you say that was only for when you were topless?" Taylor asked.
Mouse Protector made a noise that might have passed for a cough. "Wait, what?" she asked.
Amy glared at Taylor, unfazed by her Taylorness. "Taylor here has the self control of a kitten with a concussion," she told Mouse Protector. Taylor meanwhile, was trying her best to give Amy puppy dog eyes while making aborted waving gestures with her arms, as if she was a twitch away from hugging the dour girl.
She stared at Taylor. Taylor stared back, her false pout slowly melting into a shit-eating grin. "Is it surprising if I tell you about it?" Taylor asked.
"Oh for... fine," Amy said a half second before Taylor wrapped her in a hug. "Get your fill now. I'm still angry with you."
Taylor pulled back and looked Amy up and down for a moment. "Why?"
Amy sighed. "Vicky's entered your stupid competition. I swear, if this is a Simurgh plot to get me to agree to working as a medic and I find out, there's no number of Endbringers that will save your ass."
"Aww, don't be that way, Panpan," Mouse Protector said. "If you start beating on Taylor here I'll be the one that has to swoop in and save her."
"Are you all done acting like children?" Ciara said. "I brought my bard, as you asked."
Taylor stepped up next to Amy and wrapped the Faerie Queen in a bear hug which Ciara resisted for all of three seconds before her entire body loosened into the embrace. "Thanks! She's going to be great, I'm sure." Taylor stepped back and extended a hand towards Canary. The older girl eyed the hand for a moment before shaking it. "Did you ever do commentary before?"
"I haven't, no, but I did spend a fair amount of time in front of crowds. I'm not shy, if that's what you're asking," Canary said.
"Then you'll do just fine, I'm sure!" Taylor said with child-like conviction. "Oh, I should introduce you to your co-host." She reached out, grabbed Canary's hand, and pulled her along across the VIP room and to the far end near the commentator's booth. "Canary, this is Legend, Legend, this is Canary."
The young woman stared up at the legendary hero with wide eyes, her mouth forming a little 'o' while a squeaking noise came from the back of her throat.
"Sounds like someone swallowed a mouse," Mouse Protector said as she wrapped an arm around the singer. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite."
"Right, I'll leave you to it. The show's going to start in..." Taylor's eyes glazed over and she stared off into space for a moment. "About three minutes! Oh, H-E double-hockey sticks, I need to hurry." Spinning on a heel so fast that her robes swirled around her, Taylor rushed towards the far end of the room. "See you later, everyone!" she called back.
***
And so end this chapter.
Okay, so, some notes before we move on: First, a huge thank you to Eli for making this prettier, and the folks on the Discord for pointing out some flaws and helping bounce ideas. You'd be surprised how many jokes don't make it into a chapter or are left on the cutting room floor.
Second, just a heads-up, but I have ten Patreons that don't have emails associated with their accounts and therefore can't get a link to the team's Discord. If you're one of those fine folk, then feel free to PM me if you want to join in on the [Spoilers].
Next chapter on Wednesday, barring any disasters!
Next time, on How to Train Your Endbringer (Why did I stop making these previews?) Taylor stands in front of a crowd and reveals her masterplan. New heroes are introduced. There's some confusion. The Simurgh acquires pom-poms. (AN: For some reason the image of the Simurgh waving pom poms around is really adorable in my mind)
"This is a bad idea," Rebecca said.
He shrugged one shoulder. "You're right. It's a downright terrible idea. But then, imagine if I'm not there?"
Rebecca winced, the expression pinching around her false eye. "I'm reluctant to agree to send you out there. It'll be dangerous. She's dangerous, and that's not counting the presence of the Faerie Queen. But," she paused, her helmet which she held in both hands shifting idly. "But you're probably right. If you're there the likelihood of everything going to hell is lessened, at least somewhat."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he said as he pulled on his own mask. With his face now partially covered he was Legend once more. Not that it truly changed anything. Some, like Rebecca, had subtle shifts in their personality when in costume. He didn't belittle her the change, it made sense with what she did on the daily. But that wasn't the kind of person he wanted to be. "I'll see you around?" he asked.
She nodded. "I'll be watching."
With a final goodbye, Legend turned towards the far wall of the conference room. "Door to Brockton Bay," he said.
***
"I don't know," Riley said.
"Oh, come on now, Bonesaw, think of all the fun we'll have," he said.
Jack was wearing a grin that stretched from ear to ear as he sauntered next to the biotinker. Behind him, Ned lumbered after them, Mannequin draped over his back like a sack of hard plastic potatoes, and Cherish, the team's newest member, scuttled after the team with the constantly moving eyes of someone trying to look like they weren't panicking.
Burnscar was skipping along, her arms crossed behind her head and her eyes tilted up to the sky where columns of black smoke were joining the puffy white clouds far above.
Riley was about to reply but had to pause for some guy to finish screaming as he ran away from a swarm of her newest spider robots. "I don't know, Uncle Jack. Queen Administrator did tell you not to go into her city anymore. And with very strong words, too."
"Ah, that's true, that's true," he agreed easily. With a flick of his wrist he made a knife appear from out of his sleeve, then he made an expansive gesture as if to encompass the small town they were in. A few bisected bodies thumped to the ground halfway down the street. "But look at how dull this place is after visiting Brockton Bay. It'll do us good to be in the centre of all the fun again. And, there's a loophole."
"A loophole?" she repeated.
He nodded solemnly, reached into his bloodstained jacket and pulled out a folded newspaper. Turning it over, he pointed at an article surrounded by bloody fingerprints. "Look at this," he said.
Riley grabbed the paper and scrunched up her nose as she read it. "It's just about her flying arena thing," she said.
"Ah, but it's a flying arena. An arena that is, technically, not in Brockton Bay."
Riley's eyes went wide, then a huge grin split her features. "You're the smartest, Uncle Jack!"
***
Like any respectable event where thousands of people from all over the world gathered to watch and participate, there was a festive air surrounding the city while above it The Queen Administrator's Colosseum floated.
Off the wharfs of Brockton Bay was a bridge. Not the gentle, filigreed passage leading to the Grand Administratorius, but a new edifice made of stony outcrops and frozen plates. This bridge led into a portal. The hole in the world snapped and crackled like something out of a mad scientist's wet dreams. It would have been worrying, and to some it was, but the opposite end of the portal was visible high above the city of Brockton Bay where it led to the Colosseum.
The Colosseum floated in the skies in much the way any building shouldn't.
Taylor had heard the news trying to describe the building in a way that would inspire the proper mental image in the unimaginative and those who watch too much daytime television. They said it looked like the great Roman Colosseum, only this one floated and was built by a yandere Simurgh.
Graceful stone arches surrounded the white, feathery edifice. Within those arches were statues of playful Endbringers munching on heroes and bowing in servitude to their queen and master.
"Do you think the giant statue of my face is a bit much?" Taylor asked Mouse Protector.
The heroine, used as she was to the abnormality of anything having to do with Queen Administrator, looked down at the huge face of her charge; the gaping marble mouth was wide open and the first of the spectators were walking out of it and into the stands lining the inside of the stadium. "It's a bit much, yeah," she agreed.
Taylor pouted up at the building, then looked down to where the Simurgh was directing traffic with a pair of glowing red batons and a XXXL sized safety jacket on. So far, other than a few skittish people that had run off screaming at the sight of the Endbringer, the crowd walking to the arena was fairly tame. In fact, they were behaving very well for such a large and diverse group.
The Queen's box, which was mostly a viewing gallery at the very top of the arena, was a fairly simple room. Long couches lined the far wall, across from which floor to ceiling windows gave them a panoramic view of the Colosseum's ground floor and the fifty-odd thousand seats that were just starting to fill up.
Breaking up the ostentatious aesthetic of the room was a booth that protruded out of the front of the viewing area. Two seats mounted on swivels sat in front of a console covered in buttons and small screens. It was, in short, the control centre for the entire arena and the place where the commentators were meant to sit.
"So, who did you invite to the VIP room?" Mouse Protector asked. She made her way to the far end of the room where a tea bar was tucked up against the wall. It was an idea Taylor had had and discussed at length with the Simurgh. It was like a bar, only for tea. It wasn't a very complicated idea.
"Well, Ciara, obviously, and she'll bring Canary along. Oh, and I invited Cass and Dragon and Amy and Lisa, basically all of my friends." Taylor paused in the middle of the room, head tilting as she thought for a moment. "I have a lot of friends now, don't I?"
"You sure do," Mouse Protector said.
"Wow, who knew that the best way to make friends was to have the ability to ruin everyone's lives on a whim. Maybe Emma had it right all along," she remarked to herself.
"Who's Emma?" Mouse Protector asked as she rummaged through the cabinets in search of something a little stronger than chamomile.
"She..." Taylor stopped near the commentator's booth and looked down at the ground for a moment, her thoughts whirling around until, finally, she smiled up at her knight and friend. "She's no one important."
Mouse Protector shrugged, letting the conversation go as though it was of no concern, which, to Taylor, it really was.
They were both saved from suffering from the boredom of silence by a tentative knock at the room's door. Taylor perked up at the console, then stared at Mouse Protector with a 'who's that' sort of expression on.
"Must be the first of your friends," Mouse Protector said as she shoved off the wall and headed towards the doorway. She shuffled over, shimmied on the spot to make sure all of her armoured plates were sitting in the right spots, fixed her favourite smile on, and tore the door open. "Leggy!" she screamed.
"Ah, hello, Mouse Protec--" the Triumvirate hero started before being interrupted by a hundred odd kilos of excited woman. He stumbled back a step, arms reaching up to hold Mouse Protector up against his chest. "Um," he said.
Mouse Protector looked up at the hero with stars in her eyes. "Hi, I'm Mouse Protector, and I've been a very good girl. This year, for Christmas, I want an entire tub of chocolate sauce, new bedsheets and a raise."
"A raise?" he asked as he looked down at the woman lounging almost comfortably in his arms. "You're an independant, the Protectorate isn't responsible for your paycheque."
"Ah, c'mon, Leggy, you know that's not the only way to get a raise outta me," she said with much eyebrow wiggling.
The hero rolled his eyes, but the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips gave away his good mood. "Alright, get off me," he said while dropping her to the ground. The heroine pouted at him, but she soon jumped back to her spot next to Taylor. "Hello, Queen Administrator," Legend said.
"Hey Legend!" Taylor said as she hopped out of her seat and walked over to the hero. "Hey, did you ever do commentary before?" she asked.
"I have, yes," he said. "Though it has been some time. Is that the commentator's booth?" he asked while gesturing at the two chairs and the console jutting out of the front of the room.
"Yup," Taylor said before hopping back on the seat so that it swivelled and made her spin. "I was going to be your partner, and maybe I'll join you later, but I kinda sorta have to be down below for the opening, you know?"
"You're the main star, of course," Legend said.
Taylor's face grew radiant as she blushed, but she covered it with an ear-splitting grin and motioned to the desk covered in screens and microphones and other doo-dads. "That's the prompter. Simmy wrote out your dialogue already," she said while pointing to one screen in particular. With a flick, the screen lit up, revealing a black background on which sat some white text.
"My dialogue?" Legend asked. "I thought the commentary would be off the cuff."
"Oh, it will be," Taylor said. "See, Simmy looked ahead to see exactly what you would say. So the words that appear are what you would have said had there been no prompter anyway. This just makes it so that there's less hmming and uhing and screaming."
Legend paused, took a moment to process that, then shrugged. "Not even the strangest thing I've seen this week," he finally admitted.
"Cool! So, the opening ceremony is pretty simple, Just the participants coming in one at a time and being introduced, then me greeting them, then the explanation of the first task. If we have time, Simmy will sing the national anthem."
"Ah," Legend said. "I don't think that's... terribly wise. The Simurgh singing might cause some panic. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it."
"But she has such a pretty voice," Taylor said.
"I've heard her sing before, I... don't know if pretty is the word I would use for it."
Taylor gave him a scrutinizing look, then glanced over to Mouse Protector who just shrugged expansively. "Are you sure you heard her singing?"
One of Legend's eyebrows quirked. "While she attacked a few cities, yes."
"Ah," Taylor said as if that explained everything, because it did. "That's not her singing, that's her screaming. Entirely different."
"What, exactly, is the difference?"
"Isn't that pretty self-explanatory?"
He shook his head. "It really isn't, I'm afraid."
Taylor hummed in thought for a moment. "You're talking about the mind rapey bits, aren't you? Don't worry, she doesn't actually need to make any noise to do that."
"Than why the singing?" Legend asked. He was caught somewhere between horrified, fascinated and dumbstruck, like someone watching a train crash into a delivery van, only to realize that the van was heading towards your home with a delivery just for you.
"Don't tell anyone, but Simmy is afraid of heights."
Legend blinked slowly, and even Mouse Protector tilted her head to one side as though looking at Taylor from an angle would make things more clear.
Taylor nodded. "She's not singing. She's screaming because the ground is coming up so fast and her wings are mostly for show. I mean, wouldn't you scream if you were dropped from orbit? I mean, if you couldn't turn into a rainbow."
Legend was still processing that earth-shattering discovery when the door to the room slid open and a trio of girls stepped into the room. Taylor made a happy, wordless noise as she skipped around Legend and rushed towards her guests.
Amy, who was standing before a straight-backed and poised Ciara, cringed back, enough so that Canary had to stop quite suddenly lest she bump into the healer. "No surprise hugs!"
Taylor's sprint ended a few feet away from Amy where she stood, arms still held out to her sides for a few seconds before she let them fall. "Didn't you say that was only for when you were topless?" Taylor asked.
Mouse Protector made a noise that might have passed for a cough. "Wait, what?" she asked.
Amy glared at Taylor, unfazed by her Taylorness. "Taylor here has the self control of a kitten with a concussion," she told Mouse Protector. Taylor meanwhile, was trying her best to give Amy puppy dog eyes while making aborted waving gestures with her arms, as if she was a twitch away from hugging the dour girl.
She stared at Taylor. Taylor stared back, her false pout slowly melting into a shit-eating grin. "Is it surprising if I tell you about it?" Taylor asked.
"Oh for... fine," Amy said a half second before Taylor wrapped her in a hug. "Get your fill now. I'm still angry with you."
Taylor pulled back and looked Amy up and down for a moment. "Why?"
Amy sighed. "Vicky's entered your stupid competition. I swear, if this is a Simurgh plot to get me to agree to working as a medic and I find out, there's no number of Endbringers that will save your ass."
"Aww, don't be that way, Panpan," Mouse Protector said. "If you start beating on Taylor here I'll be the one that has to swoop in and save her."
"Are you all done acting like children?" Ciara said. "I brought my bard, as you asked."
Taylor stepped up next to Amy and wrapped the Faerie Queen in a bear hug which Ciara resisted for all of three seconds before her entire body loosened into the embrace. "Thanks! She's going to be great, I'm sure." Taylor stepped back and extended a hand towards Canary. The older girl eyed the hand for a moment before shaking it. "Did you ever do commentary before?"
"I haven't, no, but I did spend a fair amount of time in front of crowds. I'm not shy, if that's what you're asking," Canary said.
"Then you'll do just fine, I'm sure!" Taylor said with child-like conviction. "Oh, I should introduce you to your co-host." She reached out, grabbed Canary's hand, and pulled her along across the VIP room and to the far end near the commentator's booth. "Canary, this is Legend, Legend, this is Canary."
The young woman stared up at the legendary hero with wide eyes, her mouth forming a little 'o' while a squeaking noise came from the back of her throat.
"Sounds like someone swallowed a mouse," Mouse Protector said as she wrapped an arm around the singer. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite."
"Right, I'll leave you to it. The show's going to start in..." Taylor's eyes glazed over and she stared off into space for a moment. "About three minutes! Oh, H-E double-hockey sticks, I need to hurry." Spinning on a heel so fast that her robes swirled around her, Taylor rushed towards the far end of the room. "See you later, everyone!" she called back.
***
And so end this chapter.
Okay, so, some notes before we move on: First, a huge thank you to Eli for making this prettier, and the folks on the Discord for pointing out some flaws and helping bounce ideas. You'd be surprised how many jokes don't make it into a chapter or are left on the cutting room floor.
Second, just a heads-up, but I have ten Patreons that don't have emails associated with their accounts and therefore can't get a link to the team's Discord. If you're one of those fine folk, then feel free to PM me if you want to join in on the [Spoilers].
Next chapter on Wednesday, barring any disasters!
Next time, on How to Train Your Endbringer (Why did I stop making these previews?) Taylor stands in front of a crowd and reveals her masterplan. New heroes are introduced. There's some confusion. The Simurgh acquires pom-poms. (AN: For some reason the image of the Simurgh waving pom poms around is really adorable in my mind)
Frozen Flame
Fragment of the Devourer
- Location
- The Darkness Beyond Time
So, Legend, all three Queens, all the fallen, Accord's group, Vicky, the S9, and whoever else joins in all in a flying arena...
I eagerly await your next work, oh purveyor of mischief and mayham. Becuase this is going to end in FIRE and FRIENDSHIP. I'm especially looking forward to what Jack has coming after he tempted the Queen.
I eagerly await your next work, oh purveyor of mischief and mayham. Becuase this is going to end in FIRE and FRIENDSHIP. I'm especially looking forward to what Jack has coming after he tempted the Queen.
Last edited:
- Location
- indonesia
LETSSSSS GETTTTTT REAAADDDYYYY FOORRRRRRRRR RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEE
eschwartz
Glorious Wordsmith and Author-Whisperer
- Location
- Roundworld
Uhh.
Bad Taylor!
Amy please hit her. Or Carol can use her Angry Mommy voice.
Since the last Endbringer battle, in fact. -_-
WAY TO BE SENSITIVE, TAYLOR.
SimmyxArmsmaster OTP?
So much for damage control. QA: 1. Amy: 0.
Okibruez
(Verified Mid-Boss)
- Location
- Dreams
Simmy is, of course, overjoyed by just how much chaos this is going to cause.
She's 1 part giant angel, 1 part adorable monster girl, 3 parts unrelenting shipper and 5 parts troll.
There is no way to accurately represent in what ways I'm excited for this. Violence and explosions, impending doom, adorkable fluff, and bad jokes all rolled into one...
She's 1 part giant angel, 1 part adorable monster girl, 3 parts unrelenting shipper and 5 parts troll.
There is no way to accurately represent in what ways I'm excited for this. Violence and explosions, impending doom, adorkable fluff, and bad jokes all rolled into one...
Unseelie
(Verified True Fae)
- Location
- Tír fo Thuinn
Just how much armour is she wearing?
Legend works out, huh?
(Or you didn't mean "kilo", but that would be less amusing.)
International agreement is that a country owns all the airspace above it. I don't remember the exact height at which it becomes international air but the majority of stratosphere is included. By same logic the flying arena is still in BB.
How slow does the Simurgh fall that she can destroy an entire city while falling. And how did she manage to fall upwards. Because she clearly cannot fly. Maybe she just forgot to hit the ground
How slow does the Simurgh fall that she can destroy an entire city while falling. And how did she manage to fall upwards. Because she clearly cannot fly. Maybe she just forgot to hit the ground
Torgamous
Aspiring Gynoid
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This demands fanart but I can't draw. Quite the dilemma.
Redking0380
Lost In The Rain
- Location
- Wet
Gets canceled due to rain
Because why not
- Location
- Finland
This story does have a QQ spin-off/omake/something...
Frozen Flame
Fragment of the Devourer
- Location
- The Darkness Beyond Time
Nah, Simmy would have some giant cartoon umbrella or some equally comedic way of resolving that. The weather knows better than to mess with her fun. Plus, you know, precog/super tinker. I would honestly not be surprised if she built something into the stadium for just such an occasion.
- Location
- USA
They subcontracted the weather control to Unit2, he is good with rain.