I played idly with the stake and sighed, staring out of the dark windscreen, "You know, some people might think demon or vampire hunting would be exciting. It's not, really really not. Ninety percent boredom, five percent getting hurt, five percent stark terror."
"Eh, more like ninety nine percent boredom." Lazarus sighed, "Boring is good. Boring means you are not getting eaten."
Good point.
"Boring also means you are not paid yet." I sighed and twisted the stake in my hand with a frown, "It also means I don't get to sleep."
"Pissed the rest didn't like the plan?"
"Bit. If I get eaten because of it, then I'll be really pissed."
Lazarus shrugged, "Eh, good plan. But they do have a point, we have handled five vampires before. Safer, but fires attract attention."
"What does that matter if we're not there at the time?"
She sighed and looked at me, "Are you going to bitch all night?"
"Thinking about it." I answered before I rubbed my forehead, "...Sorry. Didn't get my caffeine."
"We can stop for a coffee on the way back when we're done."
I grimaced at that, "Foul liquid. Americans, you and your coffee. You could at least drink tea like a civilised people."
"That's just dried leaf water."
I stared at her in horror before I nodded, "Agreed."
"...Huh?"
"The stuff you call tea here is just dried leaf water. You have likely never even seen real tea. You poor woman, no wonder you drink coffee. I bet you even think it come in bags!"
She blinked at me, "...Tea don't come in bags?"
"Bloody hell."
Laz grinned and then looked out the windscreen again before she frowned, "Check that out."
"Hmh?"
A pair of people were walking down the sidewalk, from the stumbling, at least one of them was drunk as they were supporting each other. Laughing and talking. A man and a woman.
"What do you think?" She asked with a thoughtful look, "Just some neighbours?"
Taziel?
"Would you like me to tell you, or should I teach you how to tell on your own, my host?"
I hesitated for a moment as I watched them before I nodded. Teach. The less I need to rely on her, the better.
"Unless you have supernatural senses such as some demons or the slayer. Or the ability to see bodyheat, the easiest way to tell a vampire from a human at range is the way they dress. Most keep the style they used when they were turned or at least lag a couple of decades behind." Taziel explained, her breath warm against my ear, "But that doesn't always apply -or- if they are newly turned. A more difficult but much more certain way to determine if it's a vampire is the way they move. They are much stronger than a human of the same build so they move differently. They don't need to strain as much when they walk, run or jump. Even when just walking, there is a minute different if you know how to look."
I frowned at the pair. They were leaning against each other for support, the woman in high heels helping him keep upright. She was half his size and didn't look like she was working hard at all.
She is the vampire. He is the takeaway meal.
"Very good, my host." Taziel said quietly, "You are a quick study." before her presence faded away.
"She is a vampire. He is takeout." I said out loud, "He's leaning on her, she isn't straining with his weight."
Lazarus slowly nodded, "Yeah. Good spot, new guy."
"...Are we just going to let that happen?" I asked as I turned to her with a frown.
"Fuck no. Stay here." She said and got out of the car, mussing her hair up quickly before heading in their direction, pulling out a pack of cigarettes with a slight stumble in her steps.
Stay here and let her go for a vampire on her own!?
But there was nothing I could do, if I went now, all it would do would be to tip it off. Instead I reached carefully for the crossbow sitting in the back seat and started to wind it up with the small winch.
Got to give Lazarus this, she was a good actress. A slight stumble of being drunk in her steps as she moved towards them along the sidewalk, feeling on her pockets with a cigarette in her hand. As she got close, she looked up at them and said something that made them stop.
The vampire nodded and motioned for her to get closer before pointing towards the house we were surveying. The translation was easy to fill in on my own.
'Have a light?'
'Sorry, not on me, but we are just outside the house, I have a lighter there. Come on.'
Lazarus nodded and put the cigarette between her lips, her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket as she waited for them to come up to her before, following along next to the vampire... only to stab her in the hearth from the back with a stake as soon as the vampire moved past her.
The guy cried out in surprise and stumbled, almost falling as his support turned into dust before he span and stared at Laz. She pulled her knife and said something to him.
He turned and ran.
Putting her knife and stake away, Lazarus pulled a lighter and lit her cig before starting back towards the car.
That's when there was a shout and the door to the vampire nest banged open and two of them ran out.
They saw what happened.
"Shit."
AN// Big thanks to Breadnaught for betaing this section.
