Harry And The Shipgirls: Prisoner of Shipping (A HP/KanColle Snippet Collection)

Snippet 122: Harry Leferts
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Dumbledore spared a look at the parchment, a copy of one that was within the Ministry itself, "Please tell me that this is some sick joke, Amelia. That what is in front of me does not exist."

A grimace in her face, Amelia shook her head, "I am afraid not, Albus." The Grimace rapidly became a scowl, "But I wish that it was. Especially after how long a night this has been."

Just about to say something, the Headmaster froze as he felt something come down on top of him. A massive weight pressing down. Swallowing, Dumbledore glanced towards the door, "It would seem, Amelia, that things are about to become much longer."

Unable to stop the shivers, Amelia glanced at him even as sweat began to bead on her brow and her instincts screamed at her, "Albus, do you know what that is...?"

For a few moments, the older wizard was silent. However, he finally sighed, "Unless I miss my guess, that would be young Hoppou..." Albus cleared his throat some, "And it would also seem that she is quite... upset."

Under his breath, Kingsley grumbled a little even as he tried not to shake, "That is putting it mildly..."

The Auror didn't notice the look his boss shot him.

It was all rendered moot about ten minutes later as the doors to the Hospital Wing opened to reveal Hoppou standing there with her mother behind her as well as Aeroprin. The little being had an aura of nearly pitch darkness around her as she glared, both red eyes alight with wrath. In her bed where she was nursing another of innumerable mugs of hot chocolate, Reivana froze. Moments later, she scooted as far back into her bed as possible. This was due to how Hoppou was reminding her of Porta when said Princess was enraged beyond anything possible.

Eyes scanning the room, Hoppou spotted the sleeping Harry in a bed. Briefly, her gaze softened before it hardened again and she gestured towards the bed he laid in, "Blackie Smokie? Hoppou wants you to guard Big Brother."

Her own eyes alight in rage, Aeroprin nodded, "Don't worry, Mommy. I will watch over Uncle Harry, watch over Uncle Harry."

Nagato glanced at the Abyssal who only paused to tilt her head at Juuchi, who was eating a blood orange, before sitting on Harry's other side from the sword. More important to the Battleship was Hoppou, who looked moments away from brutally murdering something. Not that she did not understand the feeling. The Kami know that she felt much the same.

Shaking that off though, she took a deep breath before turning to Dumbledore with her eyes narrowed to near slits as she she softly hissed like a sword drawn from it's sheath, "What. Happened."

A frown on his face, Dumbledore's own expression darkened, "Mister Potter was out in Hogsmeade spending the day with his Godfather." Both Nagato and Hoppou glanced at said wizard who was also sleeping, though uneasily, "The Sun was just setting when a large group of Dementors swept in. From what we can tell, Sirius was the true target with Mister Potter and Madam Reivana as... targets of opportunity at best."

Teeth grinding, the Battleship let out a hiss, "And how many... were involved?"

When Dumbledore glanced at her, Amelia let out a hiss of her own, "We are still taking numbers, which might well be hard as a number of bodies are... no longer around. But from what we can tell, the lowest number was that was there when we arrived was at least a hundred. That said..." She let out a sigh and pinched her nose, "We are assuming that perhaps the number was higher, perhaps as many as two hundred."

Utter silence met that statement before Hoppou looked up at him, her eyes glowing in wrath, "Hoppou sees... And how many are left?"

Thinly smiling, Dumbledore chuckled, "Far fewer than two hundred. Mister Potter managed to account for at least half that number, perhaps. Both from his ofuda and a... rather supercharged one that finally broke the Dementors as well as a corporeal Patronus. he created. After that, they fled, though to where, we do not know."'

Suddenly, another voice spoke up, this one soft and yet underlain with steel, "They are heading back to Azkaban though with far fewer of their number than they started with when they left the village." Everyone looked at the woman in peasant clothing right out of the Hundred Years War with Tsukiakari behind her, "Many of their number no longer darken His Earth."

Eyebrow raised, Dumbledore stroked his beard, "I see, Miss..."

The young woman bowed a little, "Call me Catherine."

Only giving Amelia a look, Albus smiled slightly, "I see, and thank you for that. Do you know how many escaped?"

Humming for a few moments, Catherine gave a slight nod, "About two dozen."

Eyebrow raised, Amelia leaned forward and ran the numbers in her head, "That means, with the total that has remained at Azkaban, there are perhaps, at most, a hundred Dementors if our numbers are correct and assuming there are not more there in the depths... which I am not about to do so."

Just nodding, the Headmaster frowned, "Yes, that does seem to be correct."

With a glance at him, Nagato sat down in a chair and leaned forward, "Why?" At the looks, she gave them one of her own, "Why did they attack Sirius? He is innocent and the Kiss order has been long since rescinded."

No one said anything for a moment before Amelia sighed and handed her a piece of parchment, "Here." When Nagato took it, she continued, "This is the original agreement between the Ministry and the Dementors... and what they are using as their excuse, as it were."

Frowning, the Battleship took the parchment and looked it over. As she did so, her eyebrows furrowed more and more before she looked up, "What, exactly, am I reading here?"

Dumbledore sighed and rubbed the side of his head, "Azkaban was made into a prison by a Minister of Magic called Damocles Rowle. He was... I believe the term would be, a real piece of work. Besides being Authoritarian, he was also a sadist of the highest order. To him, the Dementors driving the prisoners insane and suicidal was not an issue... it was a benefit. Thus, he made an agreement with the Dementors of the prison, whereupon they would be supplied with a steady supply of prisoners to feed upon to their non-existent heart's content."

It was then that Amelia took over, "One of the aspects of the agreement was... that any prisoner placed into the Maximum Security Wing would be in Azkaban until they died and were buried in the graveyard. There was never anything in the agreement about a prisoner found innocent and released." Now looking Nagato in the eye, she grimaced, "Hence, according to them, it does not matter that he was found innocent because by treaty, he is still to be returned to Azkaban or Kissed."

Rubbing her face, Nagato let out a groan, "Please tell me that this is some sort of sick joke. That they are not actually trying to use legalities to explain themselves..."

With a small shrug, the old wizard grimaced and shook his head, "I am afraid that I cannot do so, Miss Nagato. As much as I wish otherwise, it is right there in the treaty. And being as Dementors have a... different... type of mind than almost anything else? Most would accept that they might have... believed such, I am afraid."

Arms of the chair creaking under her mittened hands, Hoppou growled, "Hoppou sees, but is not happy." Looking up at Dumbledore, she continued, "And Hoppou is going to show them what she thinks of them trying to take Big Brother from Hoppou in how they did, and do so in such a way they will not get chance again."

Despite the sweat on his brow, which was odd with how freezing the room had become, Dumbledore nodded, "And I would agree and allow for it. I despise the Dementors personally to be quite honest and would like to see nothing else. But there is a..." For a moment, he searched for a word and finally shrugged, "A few complications, let us say."

Pinching her nose, Madam Bones shook her head, "Albus has explained a muggle term that applies in this case... do you know what MAD is?"

Now looking between them, Nagato frowned, "Mutually Assured Destruction." At their nods, she stood, "You cannot be serious!? Are you stating that destroying the Dementors could cause MAD!?"

A soft mutter of, "No, Sirius is in the bed" made them look at a pink haired Auror who blushed, "Sorry, heard that joke so long that, well..."

Only shaking ehr head, Amelia's lips twitched into a ghost of a smile, "I think those of us who know Black were saying it in our heads." Becoming serious again, she turned towards Nagato and Hoppou, "First, you need to hear the story of Azkaban to understand why we say such a thing..."

Looking over his shoulder, Dumbledore conjured a comfy and squishy looking chair with a hole in the back before gesturing at it, "Please, come and have a seat as you will need to report this back to Princess Porta, Miss Reivana." With a look at Hoppou, the Re-Class did so, Stab easily slipping through the hole, "Now, the story starts in the Fifteenth Century with a little known Sorcerer Ekrizdis. Unlike Dark Lords such as Voldemort, Ekrizdis was, thankfully not too concerned with ruling over people. Rather, he was more interested in his studies and experiments, thus built Azkaban for such a purpose from the ground up. A place where he could perform the darkest of magics without being interrupted..."

While he continued to tell the story, the Headmaster was not surprised to see the looks of dismay and disbelief grow on his audience's face. When he was done though, there was silence before Stab spoke up, "Huh... if he was not human, I would have said that both this Ekrizdis and Damocles Rowle would have been perfect matches for Central Atlantic from everything that her Highness has stated. Sadistic and cruel... also stupid."

Eyebrow twitching, Reivana glared at him, "STAB!" Turning back to Dumbledore, she frowned in thought, "So the reason that you are concerned with attacking Azkaban is... because there is things down there that you are frightened of, which you do not know what they are or how powerful they are, and that the Dementors might release if they are attacked?"

Slowly, Dumbledore sighed some, "Yes, that is the fear... One of the things that we have is magical sensors that can measure the levels of dark magic in a place and how many sources as well as general power. They take time to set up... but there has been several times that they have been set up on boats passing by to see what they could get from Azkaban." His expression darkened, "Deeper in than the prison, there are a number of signatures that move around every once in a while. Each one is, at a minimum, equal to a normal Abyssal Princess from the readings taken. What they are, we do not know, but they are some of the darkest, and most powerful readings ever taken. And they have been fed by the misery and other dark emotions produced by the prisoners above. At least one is under the cemetery on the island as well."

Internally cursing, Nagato glanced at the Re-Class who looked stunned. After a moment, Reivana became thoughtful, "That... would be a reason to be worried, I suppose. If such things wake up..."

Leaning forward, the Headmaster was quiet for a few moments, "Which is not to say that there are not... plans in the works." He glanced at the Aurors who also glanced at their boss. Amelia nodded and they left. Once they were outside the door, Dumbledore cast several privacy spells before turning back to them, "We understand that Mister Potter has used Ofuda on several occasions to kill dark creatures, including Dementors. And that, somehow, you are able to use them to enhance your own weapons as shown when you killed a Gashadokuro."

Confused, Stab looked at them in confusion, "A what now?"

A frown on her face, Nagato glanced at him, "A Gashadokuro is what results when hundreds of humans are killed in brutal manner, usually starvation, and leave behind massive grudges. When there is enough bodies in one place from such deaths, they can... consolidate into a massive skeletal being up to eighty feet tall, formed by those grudges and the originating skeletons merged together. Invisible and hungry for blood." Eyes narrowing, she grimaced, "Both myself, Hoppou, and a few others were fighting it and barely managed to kill it. And that was with myself using Purification Ofuda similar to what Harry used to kill the Dementors which boosted my own shells and made them operate in much the same way."

For several moments, Reivana was staring at Nagato and then at Hoppou. Back and forth she went before she paused and her eyes widened some, "Could... something like that be at Azkaban? Or multiple ones?"

When they turned to the Headmaster, he had a pensive look on his face, "I wish that I could say that it would not be possible. Yet... I, cannot. The fact that no one who entered the depths of Azkaban and returned would willingly state what they saw down there besides that the Dementors are the least horrific thing... it is a source of worry."

Eyes closed, Reivana considered what she was being told before opening her eyes and glancing at Nagato, "Would it be possible to get a video of this... Gashadokuro battle? In case Her Highness needs an example?" In return, Nagato gave a small nod and confirmation before the Re-Class turned back to Dumbledore, "You stated that you were working on something though to kill such things?"

Internally sighing in relief, Dumbledore smiled thinly, "Currently, we are working on methods of creating similar effects to what Miss Nagato used with local methods. It is slow going, but... we have worked out some ways of doing so. But in any case, doing so would take time and both us and the RN have agreed that the only way to prevent major issues would be to come with, what is the muggle term? Maximum overkill, I believe." He spread his hands some, "For example, the Saint Class with their Eighteen Inch Guns among others, Monitors, Carriers outfitted with bombs... Not just British shipgirls, but also ones from across Europe." With a glance at Nagato, he gave a slight nod, "And help from the Canadians."

Puzzled, the Battleship frowned before realization came over her face, "Habakkuk. She is able to field normally land based Bombers such as B-17s. Lancasters are another with possible modifications to carry Grand Slam bombs. From my understanding, the Canadians can also offer Halifax who can also launch such aircraft. It should be enough to put down any issues that may be there. But... it will take time to do so."

As Reivana nodded, Dumbledore gave a small smile, "However, as it may be, reparations will be paid due to the attack, I do not think that would be a huge issue. I have some that... may be useful."

Reaching into his robe, he pulled out a box and handed it to her. Confused, Reivana glanced at him before opening it and her eyes widened as her jaw dropped. Hand shaking, she reached in and pulled out a ruby the size of a chicken's egg, "I, uh... there's nine. T-three of these, three sapphires, an-and three emeralds..."

Dumbledore merely nodded, "Yes, that is just one part, but consider this yours no matter what." Getting a nod, he stood and smiled, "I am afraid that there is some business to attend to, you must understand. But I see no issue if you wish to stay and recover further, I will have the house elves bring you any food that you wish."

The Re-Class nodded and just kept boggling at the gemstones in the box, not noticing the odd look on Amelia's face. Seeing the glance, the head of the DMLE followed Dumbledore out as well as Nagato who gave a slight nod to Hoppou. Once they were a distance from any of the other Aurors though, Amelia gave him a frown, "Albus, where did those come from?"

Placing his hands into his sleeves, the Headmaster chuckled, "Mister Potter found a collection of them in a place here in the Castle. However, they all belonged to the goblins thus it does not harm us in the slightest to give her them. And, hopefully, it will calm Princess Porta some when she sees them as I am certain she can find some use."

On one side of him, Nagato hummed even as Amelia shook her head in disbelief. After a few moments, the Battleship frowned, "The... way that they are going to destroy Azkaban, that was not all of what there is, is there?"

Almost a minute went by before Dumbledore sighed and shook his head, "No, I am afraid not. But I felt it best not to mention to Miss Reivana knowing that it could get back to her ruler." Glancing at Nagato, he took a deep breath, "What do you know of HMS Plym?"

It took only seconds for the shipgirl to answer, "HMS Plym? I know of her, she died in a nuclear test much like myself. Though in her case, she died because the warhead was... was..." Coming to a stop, she turned and looked at Dumbledore in disbelief, "Please do not tell me that..."

Grimacing, Dumbledore shook his head, "She came back with the bomb still inside of her. They have disarmed it, thankfully. But the RN is still in possession. If needed... it is to be enhanced with purification capabilities and used against Azkaban. But that decision has not been made quite yet."

Nagato cursed at that and shook her head with a scowl on her face, "Let us hope that it does not."

All she got from Dumbledore was a nod even as Amelia gave a shudder, "Let us hope."
 
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A frown on her face, Nagato glanced at him, "A Gashadokuro is what results when hundreds of humans are killed in brutal manner, usually starvation, and leave behind massive grudges. When there are enough of these in one place they can... consolidate into a massive being composed of the merged skeletons of those whose grudges make it up in the form of a massive skeleton up to eighty feet tall. Invisible and hungry for blood." Eyes narrowing, she grimaced, "Both myself, Hoppou, and a few others were fighting it and barely managed to kill it. And that was with myself using Purification Ofuda similar to what Harry used to kill the Dementors which boosted my own shells and made them operate in much the same way."

An entirely fair question, given how Gashadokuro are created.

How the hell did the Holodomor not create 1 or more of these things?
 
Holy shit. And this is before the Tuatha can lend some kind of passive support...


Edit:
What would be the Eastern European version? Because a lot of cultures have "When large groups of people starve to death, evil spirits form from their grudges..."
IIRC, it should be one form of the Wyld Hunt, though this one MUCH less friendly and honourable than the ones that apparently Odin, Arthur, or Francis Drake lead.

The one in question is either led by the Unseelie Court or is basically a tidal wave of the dead snatching up souls of the living and dead.
 
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Holy shit. And this is before the Tuatha can lend some kind of passive support...
Yeah, there are very good reasons that the RN is tip toeing around it and preparing. When they take it down, they want to do so in a way that leaves as little to chance as possible.
IIRC, it should be one form of the Wyld Hunt, though this one MUCH less friendly and honourable than the ones that apparently Odin, Arthur, or Francis Drake lead.

The one in question is either led by the Unseelie Court or is basically a tidal wave of the dead snatching up souls of the living and dead.
I am now seeing "Night on Bald Mountain"...
a question...

"Mister Black" or more like "Mister Potter"?
Already fixed.
 
Yeah, there are very good reasons that the RN is tip toeing around it and preparing. When they take it down, they want to do so in a way that leaves as little to chance as possible.
Smart choice, even smarter is coordinating and trading intel with the magical side as well, Azkaban is far far too dangerous to be tolerated after the Fall of the Statute, but she's holding back things that have no business existing either. Man, hearing about the existence of this place must have been a bit of a...shock for the RN.
 
Hmm... Porta is going to be very interested in seeing Reivana's report. And especially in the planned operation, and is likely to personally lead a fleet of her own to take part in the operation. No, she will not be taking 'no' for an answer. Fight Fire with Chlorine Trifluoride Fire and all that.

Though I can't help but imagine her listening to Reivana's report on a Gashadokuro, and slowly taking a long, considering look at Ocean Liner Demon before turning back to her envoy.

"Errr... big brother?"

"Yes Hoppou?"

"It is a Re-class arm, but unless Regina had two left ones..."

". . . huh. Back in a bit."
OLD: Yeah, could I have that back please? That one's from my collection.

Potra: Dammit Demon!
 
Almost a minute went by before Dumbledore sighed and shook his head, "No, I am afraid not. But I felt it best not to mention to Miss Reivana knowing that it could get back to her ruler." Glancing at Nagato, he took a deep breath, "What do you know of HMS Plym?"

It took only seconds for the shipgirl to answer, "HMS Plym? I know of her, she died in a nuclear test much like myself. Though in her case, she died because the warhead was... was..." Coming to a stop, she turned and looked at Dumbledore in disbelief, "Please do not tell me that..."

Grimacing, Dumbledore shook his head, "She came back with the bomb still inside of her. They have disarmed it, thankfully. But the RN is still in possession. If needed... it is to be enhanced with purification capabilities and used against Azkaban. But that decision has not been made quite yet."

Nagato cursed at that and shook her head with a scowl on her face, "Let us hope that it does not."

All she got from Dumbledore was a nod even as Amelia gave a shudder, "Let us hope."

My god! They might nuke Azkaban. :eek: If also applied with purification abilities.... it would be best for abysals and other dark creatures to avoid the area for quite a while.

Edit: This could be the final nail in the coffin for the SoS as well depending on how this goes. If a nuclear weapon IS used it will be practical impossible do be dismissed or hidden
 
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Rubbing the brow of his nose,
bridge?
After that, they fled, though from where, we do not know."'
to
"They are heading back to Azkaban though with far fewer of their number than they had started when they left the village."
unnecessary
My god! They might nuke Azkaban. :eek: If also applied with purification abilities.... it would be best for abysals and other dark creatures to avoid the area for quite a while.

Edit: This could be the final nail in the coffin for the SoS as well depending on how this goes. If a nuclear weapon IS used it will be practical impossible do be dismissed or hidden
The Phoenix based purification thing on one of the hidden islands went off very much like a nuke in heat and blast effects. That one didn't blow the Statute. Maybe this one will be covered up too?
 
Edit: This could be the final nail in the coffin for the SoS as well depending on how this goes. If a nuclear weapon IS used it will be practical impossible do be dismissed or hidden
The Phoenix based purification thing on one of the hidden islands went off very much like a nuke in heat and blast effects. That one didn't blow the Statute. Maybe this one will be covered up too?
Unless I miss my guess, the Statute will either be down or breathing its last when the RN moves against Azbakan, the Statute is tying up assets on the magical side that would be useful against Azkaban and furthermore, I really don't think that they'll attack her so soon after this haemorrhaging that was dealt to the insane spirit via slightly peeved Catherine. It also takes time to find the necessary reagents for the rituals that they'll be using to enhance the ordnance that will be unleashed on to Azakaban, and to make damn sure that there are no civilians anywhere near the Area of Operation magical or non-magical.

This is on top of playing politics with other Naval Forces in the Greater Region, because if one of your plans involves a freaking nuke, then you kinda need to give everyone around you a heads up.

Edit:
Oh right, almost forgot to mention moving the necessary naval personnel and assets around for the best placement against Azkaban as well, which might take a while considering that Allied Fleets are also moving in. The paperwork alone must be making the paperwork monkeys' arms feel like that they are falling off.
 
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The Phoenix based purification thing on one of the hidden islands went off very much like a nuke in heat and blast effects. That one didn't blow the Statute. Maybe this one will be covered up too?
It was also covered by saying it was a momentary resurgence of a dying volcano. Such a cover story works in the Pacific due to the Ring of Fire. But not so much in the North Sea, because there's no volcanism on a similar scale in the region.

They could call it an operation to prevent an embryonic Princess from spawning, but it's likely to raise eyebrows due to using a Nuke to take it out when there's already an Armada of allied warships on an unprecedented scale being directed to deal with it as well. Ship Stalkers Watchers will notice that sort of thing.
 
The Phoenix based purification thing on one of the hidden islands went off very much like a nuke in heat and blast effects. That one didn't blow the Statute. Maybe this one will be covered up too?

That was also in the middle of the Pacific, which has been abandoned by normal maritime traffic thanks to the Abyssals. So you had very few/no direct eyewitnesses. You aren't that lucky with the North Sea/Irish Sea where Azkaban is. Closer to shore, much more maritime traffic, many more witnesses.

Unless I miss my guess, the Statute will either be down or breathing its last when the RN moves against Azbakan, the Statute is tying up assets on the magical side that would be useful against Azkaban and furthermore, I really don't think that they'll attack her so soon after this haemorrhaging that was dealt to the insane spirit via slightly peeved Catherine. It also takes time to find the necessary reagents for the rituals that they'll be using to enhance the ordnance that will be unleashed on to Azakaban, and to make damn sure that there are no civilians anywhere near the Area of Operation magical or non-magical.

This is on top of playing politics with other Naval Forces in the Greater Region, because if one of your plans involves a freaking nuke, then you kinda need to give everyone around you a heads up.

Edit:
Oh right, almost forgot to mention moving the necessary naval personnel and assets around for the best placement against Azkaban as well, which might take a while considering that Allied Fleets are also moving in. The paperwork alone must be making the paperwork monkeys' arms feel like that they are falling off.

Yes, it's the same problem as the Black Lady outside of Boston is. You can do it, but it can;'t be covered up,and you need substantial resources to pull it off.

It was also covered by saying it was a momentary resurgence of a dying volcano. Such a cover story works in the Pacific due to the Ring of Fire. But not so much in the North Sea, because there's no volcanism on a similar scale in the region.

They could call it an operation to prevent an embryonic Princess from spawning, but it's likely to raise eyebrows due to using a Nuke to take it out when there's already an Armada of allied warships on an unprecedented scale being directed to deal with it as well. Ship Stalkers Watchers will notice that sort of thing.

Plus you need to account for expending a nuke both in terms of 'these are things that government leaders like to have absolute positive control over and know where they are at all times' and when the nuke goes off, seismographs across Europe and the US will pick up the shock wave (how we monitor underground testing), satelites will pick up the double-flash of a nuclear detonation, and it will be very distinctive. Plus you have to reassure the public about things like fallout plumes and other nuclear powers that you aren't tearing up the arms control treaties/SALT treaties so they can do the same.

In short, you will need major public buy-in and major international diplomacy to use this (although after having to obliterate Subcontinental Princess with nukes, the precedent is in the books to use them in extremis with no more than the normal diplomatic issues).
 
Smart choice, even smarter is coordinating and trading intel with the magical side as well, Azkaban is far far too dangerous to be tolerated after the Fall of the Statute, but she's holding back things that have no business existing either. Man, hearing about the existence of this place must have been a bit of a...shock for the RN.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of people on the mundane side of the table are going to stick the Azkaban mission with the tag "Operation Moria"? Because it certainly sounds like the things in the depths qualify for things stirred up when pride sent that wizard digging too deep into the Dark.
 
Now that I think about it, it's possible that in every culture, evil spirits form in a slightly different way. Perhaps in Japan and other more close-knit, they mass-up together due to traditions of community influencing them even after an agonizing death, while somewhere else, perhaps, spirits end up more individualistic and thus don't bunch up and fuse.

So, that could make Azkaban even worse in a certain way. Because it's possible that the monsters within are not only dark and evil, they're also unnatural in a true way, having been forcefully merged together through experiments.
 
Yes, it's the same problem as the Black Lady outside of Boston is. You can do it, but it can;'t be covered up,and you need substantial resources to pull it off.
Eh, I figured out an easy way to deal with the Black Lady. Basically you just need to counter all that negative energy with an equal or greater amount of positive energy.
You just need the following:
  • A Basilisk
  • Some allied Abyssals
  • Some shovels made out of goblin silver
  • Access to the Omnomnomicon (the cookbook that the archdemon of gluttony wrote or you can use his website)
  • Enough booze to fill at least 3 oil tankers
  • A few cargo ships full of food and sugary drinks
  • Fireworks
  • And the help of pretty much every party god that there is
While using the shovels, feed the basilisk all the dark objects that are on the island. After the basilisk is done digesting the objects kill it and use the Omnomnomicon to find a recipe to turn it into a nice meal for the Abyssals. Lastly with the party gods throw a party that reaches a Festivity Level Four on the Successful Party Test and 5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) on the Hangover Rating. Make sure you have plenty of hangover cure potions.

See easy.:V
 
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Eh, I figured out an easy way to deal with the Black Lady. Basically you just need to counter all that negative energy with an equal or greater amount of positive energy.
You just need the following:
  • A Basilisk
  • Some allied Abyssals
  • Some shovels made out of goblin silver
  • Access to the Omnomnomicon (the cookbook that the arch-demon of gluttony wrote or you can use his website)
  • Enough booze to fill at least 3 oil tankers
  • A few cargo ships full of food and sugary drinks
  • Fireworks
  • And the help of pretty much every party god that there is
While using the shovels, feed the basilisk all the dark objects that are on the island. After the basilisk is done digesting the objects kill it and use the Omnomnomicon to find a recipe to turn it into a nice meal for the Abyssals. Lastly with the party gods throw a party that reaches a Festivity Level Four on the Successful Party Test and 5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) on the Hangover Rating. Make sure you have plenty of hangover cure potions.

See easy.:V
Also, have it happen on the Fourth of July, so that there's an ambient "Positivity and Party" vibe to reinforce the party.
 
Also, have it happen on the Fourth of July, so that there's an ambient "Positivity and Party" vibe to reinforce the party.
Umm, so, to recap.

Use a cookbook written an Archdemon, to cook a dead dark creature who was fed and digested all the dark objects on a relatively isolated island impregnated by dark magic and then feed the result to allied creatures who were basically born from the regrets, grudges, anger, and so on of every single human ever lost at sea. Oh and they are either getting drunk or being given a sugar-rush.

That's what was suggested right?

If so, I have no idea where to begin to tsukkomi to this.
 
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Use a cookbook written an Archdemon
Where else is one suppose to find a way to cook a basilisk?
to cook a dead dark creature who was fed and digested all the dark objects on a relatively isolated island impregnated by dark magic
Can you think of any other way to get rid of them that isn't boring? Or doesn't involve enough fire to destroy the island?
and then feed the result to allied creatures who were basically born from the regrets, grudges, anger, and so on of every single human ever lost at sea.
1. Got to get rid of the meat somehow.
2. Fleet of Laughter.
Oh and they are either getting drunk or being given a sugar-rush.
How else are you suppose to get that much positive energy that SFW?

If it helps plan B involves enough holy water to fill a lake.
 
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I don't think the British have great feelings on Colonial Treason Day.

Now, the coronation day of the Queen, that one might just work.
...You might need to look at a map. The Black Lady is in Boston. The heart of Colonial Treason Day. Where the Battle of Bunker Hill took place. Where the Boston Massacre happened, and the Boston Tea Party.

Queen Elizabeth the II may be more popular in the US than George III ever was, but her coronation day isn't going to do anything for it.
 
I guess it makes sense that with Azkaban having several Things in its depths that are as bad if not worse than a Gashadokuro the "Back up and nuke the site from orbit. Its the only way to be sure." is actually one of the responses being seriously being considered. Thats basicly almost "Cthulu-in-A-Can" levels of "Oh Shit!" right there.
 
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