Goddamn Teenagers (Worm, AU/time travel)

[dc2008]

"Victoria, no flying in the house," Carol said automatically. "Now, please say that again more slowly."

"We need to make the PRT take this seriously!"

"Take what seriously?" Carol asked.

"Vicky, Aura," Amy interjected.

Vicky ignored her. "I can't believe they want to tie Amy up in red tape when she could be helping!"

"It's fine," Amy said patiently. "It will work out."

"They're puppies! Adorable puppies and the PRT doesn't want you to heal them and they suck!"

"Victoria, please watch what you say," Carol automatically said, "the PRT are valued friends and allies and while they could perhaps do better in some ways we will always be happy to work with them."

"That's what I said! They need to let Amy heal the puppies!"

"Vicky, I don't even know if I can, I never have…"

"Of course you can! You're the best in the world at healing! And then we can finally deal with Hookwolf!"

"Victoria, please slow down." Carol replied. Then her daughter's statement registered. "And you have no business fighting Hookwolf, with or without… puppies?"

"Of course not yet, I need to get the uniforms first! I don't want the puppies getting hurt! I should call Aunt Sarah back maybe she has an update!" Vicky flew over the banister and up the stairs.

"… and she's gone," Amy said with a sigh.

Carol regarded her other daughter. "What is she talking about, anyway?"

"She was going on about the Undersiders joining the Wards, and I tried to distract her with pictures of puppies Hellhound rescued from Hookwolf's fighting rings, and, well…" Amy gestured vaguely upstairs. "Now she wants to lead forth an army of sensibly uniformed begoggled monster puppies (in proper footwear), for vengeance?"

"Ah." Carol sighed.

---

Notes:

V: Look, I'm not saying we should kill all the Nazis, just, you know, the ones who are mean to puppies? Or people, I guess? Wait are there any who aren't mean to puppies or people? Maybe we should kill them all?

 

[dc2008]

Lisa eyes the equipment skeptically. "Can we skip the migraine part this time?"

Dr. Weaver smiled enigmatically. "Today we will explore the limits of your power. I have statements on pre-printed cards. You will write down what your power says, and then read it to me."

This will go poorly.

Yeah, no shit.

Dr. Weaver flipped over the first card. "Alexandria is a member of the Triumvirate."

"True," Lisa said. Obvious calibration is obvious.

New card. "There exist rules regarding information your power is not supposed to give to you."

"She believes this to be true."

"Before I read the next card, please compare the two answers carefully."

Lisa did so. Huh. She felt the first twinge of a headache.

New card. "Your power perceives what you perceive."

"True."

Dr. Weaver looked at Lisa expectantly, until she reviewed the answers again. Huh. Another twinge.

New card.

Lisa waited.

"Are you going to read it?" Dr Weaver asked.

Huh. Lisa blinked, and refocused on the card. "Powers exist, separate and apart from those they empower."

The migraine came on sharp and sudden, and was somehow accompanied by a feeling of sadness.

---

Notes:

Power: QA why your host so mean?
QA: {SMUG} Best Host is BEST HOST!!!

 

[dc2008]

"Hey, uh, older me?" Taylor asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?" The older woman looked up from her stack of papers.

"Did you ever have a pet?"

The woman adopted a thoughtful expression, before launching into a length dissertation on the benefits and drawbacks of various pets, including with regard to home defense and time commitment, and how important it was to have, ah, roommates who could take care of your pets in case of an unexpected injury or deployment. Taylor stole the woman's pen and pad to take notes.

She tried very hard not to think about the living details suggested by her counterpart's perspective. It sounded like she lived in a commune? Or maybe a fortified compound? Or an orphanage?

Body armor and M/S precautions for animals though was not something she ever expected to be thinking about.

Taylor suspected that an oral history from other!her would be fascinating.

---

Note:

It's not a commune! Or an armed compound! I just lived in a small fortified township, with redundant independent power and water supplies and five years of food, surrounded by my closest friends and platonic life-partners, and our hired mercenaries, and our collection of poor abandoned demon children, and all those other orphans we rescued, and our kennel of sometimes monster wolf-dogs, and some people who I actually didn't like too much but once you've shared a foxhole for a week you have a bond that you can never forget, and… holy shit. Why didn't Lisa tell me!

 

[dc2008]

"Hey, bro?"

Brian looked up. "Yeah?"

Aisha shuffled awkwardly. "I just want you to know that I will always love and support you no matter whether you are gay or straight or whatever."

"Thank you?" Brian replied. "And, uh, I love and support you? And am fine with you dating whoever, so long as it's all safe and sane and consensual and all. But please shut the door, and, uh, use protection?"

Aisha nodded significantly, and then wandered away.

What the fuck was that about?

Elsewhere

"Hey, ah, Taylor was it?"

"Yeah?" Taylor replied, confused. She vaguely recognized the bouncy older girl but couldn't place her name.

"Is it true that there are knife fights in the halls at Winslow?"

"I think that happened like once or twice? It wasn't an everyday thing?"

"Oh my God! You are so brave!"

 

[dc2008]

"It has been suggested that I have been lax in preparing you for an important situation, specifically that of cohabitation."

Amy sipped her coffee. It was too early… wait, it was too late in the day for that. She was too tiredthis shit, that was better.

"Whether they be friends, family, or lovers there are certain items of consideration and common courtesy…"

Oh my God, I have a sister why am I here?

"… And so we will start with kitchen etiquette, progress to the certain important signals used to indicate a need for privacy, and conclude with a demonstration of the many ways an inquisitive child might find details of your phone or PC's browsing history."

Amy almost choked on her coffee.

---

Notes: You know, important things to know when you live with a small army of inquisitive, often parahuman children.

 

[dc2008]

Thomas sighed when he saw the tacky hallmark card in his mail.

Opening it, he removed two items, before idly skimming the preprinted message. It appeared intended to be given to a small child upon realizing some goal.

With a sigh, he discarded the card, and turned to the enclosures. The first was a press release from the PRT national office highlighting the importance of a healthy rogue community so as to offer an alternative to villainy. He tucked it away. Message received. The doll cape is to be protected from interference by the Empire, the Elite, etc.

He flipped to the next item. It was an executive summary from an early review copy of an unpublished research paper entitled Effects of Power Interactions on Precognition and Simulation. Skimming it, he was unsurprised to find that even without context, the summary alone was equal parts enlightening and alarming.

Message received. Play well and I get treats.

A few quick online searches revealed the paper's author was among those presumed lost at Madison and, of course, the paper was not available in any of the usual places online. Well, I'm sure they'd give me the full paper, for a price, but I'd rather first further search myself.

Or perhaps further excerpts would be sent to him if they felt he needed a future reminder. He rather felt he was starting to get the rhythm of this arrangement.

---

Note: I haven't forgotten him!

 

[dc2008]

Dr. Weaver looked at Lisa with tired eyes. "Sierra tells me you have been busy."

"Yep!" Lisa seemed proud of herself. "Some of the girls agreed to be nicer to him in passing, I convinced him not to cut ties with his internet not!girlfriend, who is a sweetie, and I have socially engineered PHO into seeing him as adorably neurodivergent rather than moronic!"

Dr. Weaver stared. "Did it not occur to you to talk to mebefore doing, well, any of this?"

Lisa looked offended. "I didn't even use my power!"

Dr. Weaver sighed. "That was only part of why I wanted you to talk to me. You are a teen."

"Hey!"

"I didn't say you were dumb. Rather you've been using Power to play on easy mode and need to develop new modes of thinking if you are going to successfully tackle bigger problems. Consider—and do use Power for this—what will happen if you ceased providing active support to the boy?"

"I'm sure he'd be oh. Shit."

"That said, I do very much hope you've started what will be a long and fruitful friendship with Sveta, she is a nice girl and could use more friends."

Elsewhere

"Aiden!"

The boy looked up. "Yes, mom?"

"Oh we've had the most amazing opportunity, this could change our lives!"

Aiden smiled. He wasn't sure he understood everything his mom was talking about, but Mom was happy and said it was good, so it was good."

---

Note: Power: I don't know why you are so upset, I think the plan was AWESOME!!!

---

Note note: Recall Aiden is one of the adorable
moppets Taylor and Charlotte take care of in canon. He later triggers as Chicken Little. I have mixed feelings on the use of sympathetic orphans by Wildbow. They tie in neatly with the various characters' backstory trauma (Aisha becoming better than her mom or Alex's dad, Lisa feeling misplaced guilt for her brother, Taylor empathizing with people who lost their mom). On the other hand, there is something incredibly fucked up in suggesting that the path for female teenage delinquents to get their shit together involves them becoming teen moms.

 

[dc2008]

"Emily," Phil said, unusually frazzled. "Do you know why Youth Guard, Branding, Missy and each of her parents are all going at each other?"

"Hmm?" Emily looked up.

"A literal pile of memos and formal messages were dumped on my desk an hour ago, and I'm hoping someone can give me some context because I don't trust any of them to give me a straight answer."

Emily nodded. "That would explain the heads up meeting request from Legal. I'm going to go with a hunch and suggest you ask Dr. Weaver."

Later

"Were you able to figure out what was going on with Missy and company?" Emily asked.

Phil rolled his eyes. "You may recall Missy's continuing requests for weapons, armor and combat training?"

Emily grimaced. "Yes, I might have seen a dozen odd 'Dirty Harry' notes from her."

"Well, apparently at a recent mixer Victoria Dallon and Missy got in a screaming match about proper PPE in general and footwear in particular…"

"… so now everyone is accusing everyone else of endangering a child, and either Missy has developed a sudden fascination with statistics and deftness at social manipulation, or she's getting coached by someone, possibly Miss Dallon, or perhaps Brandish. Dr. Weaver disclaims responsibility and seems to find the whole situation amusing."

Emily sighed. "The PRT is entirely supportive of providing appropriately tailored PPE to our Wards. I am fully confident that our esteemed colleagues can identify a range of possible action plans and look forward to discussing with them at such time as they can reach a consensus."

Phil snorted. "That is pretty much what Dr. Weaver said."

Piggot nodded. "Smart woman. If they look like they are in danger of reaching a consensus, start forwarding them the 'Dirty Harry' notes, piecemeal."

 

[dc2008]

Piggot is just glad that all these lunatics are bothering each other instead of her. Her basic attitude toward Vista is frustration that Piggot needs to keep the pint-sized potential strategic asset safe from the girl's own idiocy long enough for her to mature enough to be able to use her powers effectively. And, while she sympathizes with the girl's desire for better equipment, the girl just doesn't understand her limits and gets into scraps she has no business being in. And also physically cannot carry actual useful levels of gear.

Put differently, in a city with Oni Lee and Hookwolf, it's not clear that better armor would really make Vista safer. The girl has no business being in a position where she even can get hurt even now yet she keeps. Getting. Injured. At least now the level of force required to render her mission incapable is low enough that the girl isn't too badly banged up. Give her the ability to tank small arms and she'll just find a way to get shot at by higher-lethality weapons.

I will also point out that Piggot knows what it looks like when a junior trooper is trying to hide an injury. Yes, it's usually due to stupid bar fights versus stupid actual fights, but the idea is the same.

Also, Max is not stupid. Well, he is, but in this matter he has his head screwed on straight—covering his ass. There is a non-zero chance that someone quietly contacted the PRT after Hookwolf ran into Vista, and offered Othala healing as well as a polite suggestion that the girl stay in her lane. It's hard to not kill Wards when they jump in front of murder blenders.

So in short, from Piggot's perspective, Missy's parents are self-centered pieces of shit, Missy is suicidally reckless with a chip on her shoulder, Youth Guard are well-meaning fools, and Branding gets kudos for somehow making this disaster adorable but loses points big for believing their own propaganda.

I will also point out that, for all Vicky gets shit on, at least in this fic when told how her power can be more dangerous than she realized, she did earnestly and in good faith make a huge effort to do better. She did it in a super-annoying way, and at high volume, but she's trying. While Missy, on learning that her power is actually more dangerous, does a lot of dangerous shit including putting a ball bearing through her own foot and setting the kitchen on fire.

---

Honestly if I was Piggot at start of canon I would be almost more worried about Vista than Sophia. Yea, Sophia is a loose canon with a trail of bodies, but she's not a good person. She enjoys her brutality and does it retail. She also tends to act out in ways that preserve plausible deniability.

Vista, Vista is a good person. If she snaps, she won't linger over her bad deeds, she will do them quickly and efficiently. Vista, she can operate on a strategic level, in a way Sophia simply cannot. Vista will feel righteous in her brutality, not guilty, and will proudly flaunt it, rather than hiding it. And Vista wants to go clean up the city so, so bad, without realizing the reasons why the Protectorate heavy hitters are so hesitant to escalate.

With Sophia, Piggot has to worry about waking up one morning to discover that Sophia was caught on grainy video accidentally killing a few homeless drug addicts. With Vista, she has to worry about waking up one morning to discover that the girl used scrap metal (or entire ships) to play "orbital drop" with Hookwolf and Lung. Or with a couple dozen gangers and bystanders. And is giving a press conference about it.

 

[dc2008]

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