Firebird, a Worm AU/Xover?
- Thread starter chibipoe
- Start date
- Location
- In the depts of despair.
And that's if she's lucky.
Lisa: Hey power, tell me something, anything... Please...
SherlockShard: ... ... ... (can't talk, probably because all its atoms have been transformed into energy and were then devoured by a cosmic firebird).
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Lisa's shard doesn't like Essence, so it's started actively lying to her.
OverReactionGuy
Verified Sanity
Honestly, I was expecting a blow up like that coming. Danny is not that bad, but he kinda forgot he had a daughter when Annette died.
I do not think Taylor would take recruitment attempts well right now though. Those two for once had terrible timing.
Basically, the author wanted everyone to choose someone different for Taylor's team than TT, so he made Lisa's shard hate Taylor. And generally made Lisa an ungrateful bitch to the person that saved her life twice.
I do not think Taylor would take recruitment attempts well right now though. Those two for once had terrible timing.
Basically, the author wanted everyone to choose someone different for Taylor's team than TT, so he made Lisa's shard hate Taylor. And generally made Lisa an ungrateful bitch to the person that saved her life twice.
- Location
- Switzerland
That's impressive indeed!
Good update, I loved Colin trying, doing well, but failing because of the Hebert Family issues. And now for the second big reveal...
Hotdog Vendor
Author of 'Sisters of Rail'
- Location
- (5 + 3 * sqrt(5)) / 8
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This was so good and so long that I forgot it was going to have an end, and was thus rather surprised when it didn't go on forever. Oops!
- Location
- Belfast
Hmm... I dunno about that, it seems like a good place for Taylor to have a mind reading breakdown and realise that A. They are actually friends, and B. Hadn't planned out the whole meeting to happen after Armsy fumbled his social roll.
I'm all for some terrified, 'rabbit in the headlights' moments when they realise just how powerful Taylor is though
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GiftOfLove
From the Heart
No, the players decided to put off helping Lisa just like they did spending time with her dad. Then it bit them in the ass, and they refused to accept it. When your body is made out of countless, eternally screaming souls, sometimes people get the wrong idea about you and the machine God you're trying to summon.
Wrong. Please don't spread such misinformation. That would be great.
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- Location
- Existance
I'm not entirely sure where or why but it seems to me that Taylor went from 'try not to give anything away' to 'fuck it, I've got superpowers, ta-da!' too fast.
- Location
- Australia
Much as I liked the latest chapter—and I really do like it, the confrontation with Danny and AM was awesome— I kind of have to echo the bit about the lack of intelligent pre-cog getting annoying. Like, I get the Doylist reasoning, I do. I agree with it, even. Constant and unlimited use of accurate pre-cog is an easy way to kill all the tension. But the Wastonian side of the argument really isn't holding much water for me.
Not wanting to see the future all the time is one thing, but at this point she pretty much never uses it when it would be at all helpful (beyond the instant scratchies). The whole time between being called out of the classroom and entering the meeting room I was mentally chanting, "And use your pre-cog now. Now. ...Now. Any time now. Now? Please? Oh for fucks sake." And let's not even get into the fact that she charged straight into an unknown confrontation between an unknown number of participants of unknown allegiance, unknown power/s, unknown skill and unknown danger when a few seconds' thought would have turned all of those "unknown"s into "known"s. It could just be me, but it's really starting to grate a little.
It's not SoD-Breaking, but if it keeps happening this consistently it'll quickly reach the point where the only acceptable (watsonian) reason is sheer stupidity.
Not wanting to see the future all the time is one thing, but at this point she pretty much never uses it when it would be at all helpful (beyond the instant scratchies). The whole time between being called out of the classroom and entering the meeting room I was mentally chanting, "And use your pre-cog now. Now. ...Now. Any time now. Now? Please? Oh for fucks sake." And let's not even get into the fact that she charged straight into an unknown confrontation between an unknown number of participants of unknown allegiance, unknown power/s, unknown skill and unknown danger when a few seconds' thought would have turned all of those "unknown"s into "known"s. It could just be me, but it's really starting to grate a little.
It's not SoD-Breaking, but if it keeps happening this consistently it'll quickly reach the point where the only acceptable (watsonian) reason is sheer stupidity.
And now I can't help but see the mother as Ms. Frizzle.
- Location
- Sweden
"Why the fuck is everyone I know a parahuman?! Vicky is Glory girl, Sophia is Shadow stalker, Professor Singer turns out to be Armsmaster, and now you're telling me you have superpowers as well. Next you're going to tell me that Madison is Browbeat or something."
"Come on Taylor, that would be absurd."
- Location
- UP!
The story seems pretty decent, though the Christie Poe thing made me groan so hard.
I really like the way Colin creates all the extra tech around him, the fridge and glasses etc. It really makes him feel more fleshed out.
So far, I think you have been foreshadowing a bit too hard. It makes some of the plot twists come off as, well, really obvious.
However my biggest complaint would probably be that Taylor feels a bit... bipolar I guess? She seems to get very angry, very friendly or very paranoid for no real reason other than to move the plot along.
Maybe some further work on her internal thoughts would improve the way she reads?
I really like the way Colin creates all the extra tech around him, the fridge and glasses etc. It really makes him feel more fleshed out.
So far, I think you have been foreshadowing a bit too hard. It makes some of the plot twists come off as, well, really obvious.
However my biggest complaint would probably be that Taylor feels a bit... bipolar I guess? She seems to get very angry, very friendly or very paranoid for no real reason other than to move the plot along.
Maybe some further work on her internal thoughts would improve the way she reads?
Considering the fact that Taylor seems to have a somewhat pissed off Jean Grey in her head, I think her coming off as somewhat bipolar is the way it is intended. Plus, she wasn't the most mentally healthy person before she got powers, so I figure she has a lot of shit she has repressed, and circumstances are bringing a good bit of it back up.
Dopplerdee
Accident Prone(Yes the caps are necessary)
- Location
- Happy Place
- Pronouns
- She/Her
...wait does danny still have QA? Also I think the head ache from reading armsteacher might be because he is a tinker....maybe...
- Location
- Somewhere and somewhen in time and space
That last phrase is definitely a bit odd. Mistype?
Ridtom
Good. Bad. I'm the man with the Wand.
Yeah this whole clusterfuck was a combination of Taylor's nearly irrational distrust of all authority figures, Danny's bad reaction to Taylor being a parahuman and Armsmaster just not knowing about the feelings simmering below.
Simple Plan, bad external circumstances.
Simple Plan, bad external circumstances.
I agree with some above statements. Armsy was looking good, and then... this happened... geeze. Well, keep up the good work.
CV12Hornet
Riter.
- Location
- Tacoma, Washington
Now I know who your Armsmaster reminds me of, Chibipoe. Vegeta!
chibipoe
May I tell you of the glory that is Catradora?
- Location
- Astoria, Oregon
OverReactionGuy
Verified Sanity
I kinda agree that she should have at least used precog to check who she was meeting. But honestly, I kinda am glad this meeting went the way it did.
Couple of simple reasons for that.
1. She was high on emotion.
2. She kept not denying that she had powers and instead tried steering the topic away from that.
3. She got a thinker headache right in front of Colin and pulled out his civilian identity.
Things like that are counter productive to keeping her powers secret.
Couple of simple reasons for that.
1. She was high on emotion.
2. She kept not denying that she had powers and instead tried steering the topic away from that.
3. She got a thinker headache right in front of Colin and pulled out his civilian identity.
Things like that are counter productive to keeping her powers secret.
- Location
- State of Confusion
Not to mention that Taylor is pretty much 4 for 4 on blowing her cover with parahumans she interacts with in both identities (I am counting Sophia here, since Taylor used her powers against her, and Sophia noticed). She's going to have to work on that.
Chibipoe, your Armsmater continues to impress. For as close as you stick to his canon character, he's still likable. That's quite the turnaround. I really couldn't stand him in canon. I think a large part is that he isn't an egotistical gloryhound, either in this story or Acceleration. That difference means he comes off as a character with flaws, rather than almost a caricature of flaws.
Also, I honestly did not know that Phoenix/Jean Grey was precognitive at all. I knew she was a ridiculously strong telekinetic and telepath, but I thought that was it. I assume the precognition is from the comic version? I admit I'm really only familiar with the TV and movie versions.