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De3ta reads....Ambience: A Fleet Symphony.

Am I making a horrible mistake?

  • Yes.

    Votes: 14 5.7%

  • YES!

    Votes: 233 94.3%
  • Total voters
    247
Reader mode
Zone-Meister said:
Not like it matters...cause Damon, the Perfect Organism, is immortal....and it's being hinted IMHO, that he's part Abyssal as well.
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I'm pretty sure "good guy being part/entirely made of an enemy alien entity for a power-up with no drawbacks" is practically a box on the checklist of "what makes a bad fanfiction" by this point.
 
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This is just so bad, it's kind of amazing. Even if you ignore all the shit that doesn't make any scientific sense, contradicts itself, or is just plain wrong and the butchered characterisations of the ship girls, it's all still just really bad.

I mean the fake german sees a robot girl says wtf exactly once and then everything is all right? What.
Damon swmming through a river even though he has allegedly bulletproof shipgirls? What.
Everyone being totally fine with Iku being headstabbed and reprogrammed and then devolving to harem shit. What.
And they also can apparently still binge watch animes in their post apocalyptic world. Blargh.

But seriously, to those who actually read more of the thing: Are the ship girls in here bulletproof or not? Damon repeatedly says that's the case, but the girls still get knocked around by shit that's weaker than bullets and they don't behave as if they were bulletproof. So what's up with that?
 
Guilop said:
This is just so bad, it's kind of amazing. Even if you ignore all the shit that doesn't make any scientific sense, contradicts itself, or is just plain wrong and the butchered characterisations of the ship girls, it's all still just really bad.

I mean the fake german sees a robot girl says wtf exactly once and then everything is all right? What.
Damon swmming through a river even though he has allegedly bulletproof shipgirls? What.
Everyone being totally fine with Iku being headstabbed and reprogrammed and then devolving to harem shit. What.
And they also can apparently still binge watch animes in their post apocalyptic world. Blargh.

But seriously, to those who actually read more of the thing: Are the ship girls in here bulletproof or not? Damon repeatedly says that's the case, but the girls still get knocked around by shit that's weaker than bullets and they don't behave as if they were bulletproof. So what's up with that?
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Yeah well, do nat ask question kamerad...will only give you brain damage....just like real life radiation

Edit, Yes Guilop, shipgirls are bullet proof and you need heavy weapons i.e anti-tank weapons to deal with them....heavy rifle rounds i.e .50 cal and above stun them, and Shoukaku lost her eye to a .338 Lapua once, the eye being one of their soft spots....also EMP's
 
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Since I've figure out how to make my discord account work again I'm debating on seeing if I can join you know or wait until I'm back in my barracks room where I can drink to this...
 
I don't know if this is worse than by back pain from work. Actually, I can lie on my tummy and the back pain will go away but this! Not even alcohol will save thy soul from this.

Well, cheers.
 
De3ta said:
Fish: OH MY GOODNESS THERE ARE 232 CHAPTERS OF THIS

AND COUNTING.


*snip*

Now to chapter 16!
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Didn't you start around chapter 200? If so, that means you're reading one chapter for every two he writes.

You might want to revaluate the decisions that led to you deciding to do this, otherwise you might be here writing these reviews until the day you die. Are you really okay with that?
Murakumo said:
Japanese ships were logistically ... more advanced than any other ship at the time!
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:V:V:V:V:V:V


No.
De3ta said:
Fish: "Written in Japanese" Yes, that's definitely what happened! It's not as if it's an English character! It's not as if it could be stylized or anything!

IP: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't each Japanese kanji - the smallest form Japanese writing can be cut down to - a word all on its own?

Jimbo: I believe they're individual syllables. The sounds that make up a word.
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I looked and Kanji are the adopted Chinese characters, so they do stand in for words. Japanese does also have a syllabary for writing as well, which might be what you were thinking of instead. I should probably also note that Japanese – like English, for an example see the word 'strengths' – has one syllable words.

(I'm using 'strengths' above because it's also a good example of why a syllabary would never work for english.)
 
sebsmith said:
Didn't you start around chapter 200? If so, that means you're reading one chapter for every two he writes.

You might want to revaluate the decisions that led to you deciding to do this, otherwise you might be here writing these reviews until the day you die. Are you really okay with that?
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The more I read this that day rapidly approaches! :D
 
NuclearNickel said:
No, you're actually fine.
Because, unlike Hackyuu, you actually acted professional and took criticism. And improved.
So, tis' fine.
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On that note I kinda wanna apologize to @Kiyone4ever for how I was during that, I was tired and bitchy and didn't really say anything helpful. Sorry!

Which is why I made the other LR thread really, AMBIANCE and Hackyuu, that's hopeless. Way to far gone for anything to be worth it.

But other fics? Sure they may be just as bad, if not worse, But I wanna for this more....point out and explain the flaws rather than just bitching about them. At least so the readers (hi) learn something from their mistakes.

Ah i'm rambling, sorry.
 
De3ta said:
On that note I kinda wanna apologize to @Kiyone4ever for how I was during that, I was tired and bitchy and didn't really say anything helpful. Sorry!

Which is why I made the other LR thread really, AMBIANCE and Hackyuu, that's hopeless. Way to far gone for anything to be worth it.

But other fics? Sure they may be just as bad, if not worse, But I wanna for this more....point out and explain the flaws rather than just bitching about them. At least so the readers (hi) learn something from their mistakes.

Ah i'm rambling, sorry.
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It's good. I've received support and help in all this and While I have a fondness for all my works, the chapter I made after this came out really ups the bar for me. And that's something every writer should want.

I'll work with anyone who will work with me. It turned out pretty good here I'd say.
 
MagicianX26 said:
What, you're not worried that it effectively made your argument moot?
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Why should I be worried? It will improve your story, which is a plus, so I don't see the problem.

I still can't read your story (I'm old, I'm set in my ways), but I am honestly happy to hear that you have corrected that error and I hope you regain your lost readership and find new followers.

AnonymousRabbit said:
Akyuu seeks a disciple.
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Oh, he wants a 使徒?

I know someone who'd like to do that.


What? He wanted an apostle, right? This guy right here fits the bill!
 
Well, once more unto the breach for this one. Also, I remember reading another badfic some time back. I'll go look for it. Something about shipping some Special Forces guy who lost his mother to an Abyssal Princess with Kaga...
 
MissingJimbo said:
Well, once more unto the breach for this one. Also, I remember reading another badfic some time back. I'll go look for it. Something about shipping some Special Forces guy who lost his mother to an Abyssal Princess with Kaga...
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Oh yeah i read that fic, it HAD potential, but the pacing, the SoD breaking apart/unreliability, poor plot progression, that killed it for me.
 
Found it. I may do that as my second LR. And I'll probably post it on the other thread this time.
EDIT: Title is "Angel's of our Future". Oh God, spelling and grammar errors...
 
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