Sweet Freedom
Life in the Outlands has never been known for its ease. While the living standards were harsh on the first generation of settlers, the situation only degraded after the City of Light was founded. As the City grew and rotted into a capitalist nightmare, the Outlands regressed into a feudalistic society. Here emerged kingdoms ruled by royalty, warlords, or in some cases, pirates.
Canon fire howled through the air. Those same shots failed to hit their mark, just barely, creating great splashes that soaked the opposing crew. The return fire was swift, yet lesser. Gunpowder was running low from previous raids. Captain Blackeye was getting deeply annoyed.
The Mudplugger was harried by a most ridiculous assailant. The enemy ship was oddly designed for one, as if someone had stolen part of a tea set and built a ship around it. The crew was odd for different reasons, namely that it was nearly entirely composed of uplifts. Moles and wolves ran across the deck. Pelicans, ducks, and penguins worked on the mast. And, if his eyes (er, eye) didn't deceive him, there were honest-to-god Kremlings working with apes. "
Just me luck," the captain grumbled, "
ta run afoul a rival n' ruin me good mood."
From aboard the SS Tea Cup a tall, well-endowed brunette hollered orders, her long hair and yellow bandana fluttered in the breeze. "
Hold fast men, an' keep firing! The Mudplugger won't kite herself!" Captain Syrup, leader of the Black Sugar Pirates (formerly the Black Sugar Gang), gave commands. "
All able-bodied flyers, excluding my first mate, are to flank from the bow and stern. Pick 'em' off as best you can, but don't get greedy, the real fight begins when we board Blackeye." At her command, various pelicans, bats, and roosters took to the skies.
"
Helmsman!" A kremling stood at attention, "
We approach them from the bow, starboard side."
"
YES MAM!"
"
Bobo!" A large, avian uplift with a skull and crossbones tattooed on his belly swooped down from the crow's nest. "
When we get close enough, please drop off our newest recruit. Afterwards, be ready to airlift our heavier members."
"
Aye, aye, captain!" Bobo swiftly returned to his roost in anticipation.
Soon enough, the bloodbath began. Were Blackeye's crew not already worn down from previous raids, perhaps it wouldn't have been so one-sided. Nevertheless, it was. A duck ran a man through the stomach with a cutlass. A young boy dogged under a pistol shot and cleaved his attacker's leg off. Pelicans and bats were shot and fell. Another man was squashed beneath a falling ape, leaving him little more than a stain on the deck. Captain Syrup cut down her fair share that day, cleaving more than one head from someone's shoulders.
In the end, a full two-thirds of the Mudplugger's crew was slain. Of the remaining third, half were sustaining major wounds. Needless to say, Captain Blackeye was furious. "
Da' ell I'd ever do ta' ye?!" the bound captain yelled, the remainder of his crew tied up along with him. "
Fer as I know, I never did ye o' personal wrong!" From the other side of the room, Syrup was rummaging through her 'newly acquired' charts and maps. Large ducks in pirate getups and goggles kept watch over the prisoners as she did.
Minutes passed in silence, the captives were on edge. Wondering what was wrong. Suddenly, "
You're right Blackbeard,"
"
Blackeye."
"
you have never wronged me." Before any response could be given, she continued. "
My business associate and crew, however," a chill ran through Blackeye, "
have."
"
Five months ago, you and your crew raided a shipment of fresh timber en route from Gallowmere to the City."
"
Ay, so, wot o' it? Me ship ain't goin ta-"
"
That shipment was for Nook Homes."
The silence spoke for itself.
"
As were the shipments of bricks, marble, and limestone you hit some months before. Nook did not appreciate the ensuing delays nor the expenses you caused him Blackleg. So," Syrup turned in her chair to face the ruffians, "
he called me."
"
Heh, first, it be Blackeye. Second, dat it? Didn't take ye ta be da type ta sell out."
"
I'm not-"
"
Da great Capin' Syrup gave er' freedom an' soul ta make it big!" It was impressive how loud Blackeye could get. "
Was wonderin' how ye got kremilngs ta join up. Seems like dey just can't resist dem company-sponsored pirates! So, ye got da power ye wanted," he sneered "
but ye didn't earn it. Was it worth it? Bein' like K. Rool? Ta surrender all ye integrity just so-"
"
Are you done?"
Captain Blackeye's mind finally caught up and reminded him just what his predicament was. Syrup had not changed her expression save for a lifted eyebrow. As the cutlass at his throat reminded him of his place, she continued.
"
As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, you, Blackbear,"
"
It's Blackeye."
"
raided quite a few shipments of my business associate and slaughtered the sailors of each, nearly to the man." The Tea Cup's captain gave Blackeye a cold stare.
"
Heh, so?" he countered, "
Ye can't really be da judge o' dat, can ye? We all be pirates er' wat with all de pillagin an' burnin-"
"
Plundering."
"
Eh?"
"
I plunder, not pillage."
"
Wat's de difference?" the captain asked, genuinely curious.
"
Plundering," Syrup started, "
is slipping past defenses, catching your target with their pants down. Delving into ancient ruins, using every trick you know, inventing new ones on the fly, to make off with the riches before your rival even knows you're there. Playing monsters against each other just to get by off their table scraps. It's, above all else," her voice reached a fever pitch, "
thriving in a profession where damn near everyone is your physical superior using nothing but your wits and what few strengths you possess."
As Captain Syrup caught her breath, Blackeye and his men couldn't help but look at one another in concern, their waterfowl guards barely holding back their tears.
Having composed herself, she went on, "
Pillaging, by contrast, is the sacking of villages, those with no defenses and little of worth. Leaving nothing but burnt-out craters in your wake. A pastime you love Pinkeye."
"
Blackeye."
"
A pastime that has finally come back to bite you."
"
Wat do ye mean by-"
"
It's easier to show you. How would you like to meet our newest recruit?"
"
Ey! Hold on jus' a min-," Captain Blackeye floundered at the sudden shift in tone.
The door creaked on its hinges. Into the room walked a boy, teen really, with orange-brown hair. His eyes were cold and calm, yet the slight tremble of his hands betrayed him. Blackeye knew him well, a thorn in the captain's side ever since he paid a 'visit' to the boy's village a year and a half ago. One the captain thought he rid himself of six months ago. One that knew the ins and outs of Blackeye's crew better than most.
"
Please, say hello to Edson." Syrup's singsong tone did nothing to calm their nerves, "
As a reward for being such a big help, he will decide your fates."
AN: So this came to me after reading weredrago2's Star Wolf omake. More specifically the pirate comment. I realized that there was a criminal lack of traditional pirates in 8BD, despite it being one of the more popular video game settings.
As for why Black Sugar Pirates and Nook Homes sometimes work together? Partly because Captain Syrup believes in the uplift movement (have you seen her crew?), partly to help each other out. Both are rather small time in comparison to their competition. Nook needs a major contact in the Outlands, same with Syrup and the City (no, Dunk doesn't count, he's a basketball player).
Aside from the kremlings, all other animals were mooks in Wario Land 1 & 2. The kremlings that work for Syrup are deserters from K. Rool's crew on account of how he treats them and how little they're paid.
Edson is the original protagonist of Project Dream before he was replaced by Banjo. Blackeye was the original antagonist of that game before he was reduced to a cameo.
Special thanks to
griffinlw for Betaing this.
Hope you like it!
