Looking at Misato dead in the eye, you smiled. "I'd love to stay over, Misato. It'll be just like Berlin!"
///
Walking in the door to the apartment, you dropped your overnight suitcase and jaw when you saw the floor. Not that it was a nice floor, or anything, but the fact that you could see it through the expected haze of beer bottles, crisps bags, laundry, and empty envelopes. Your old apartment had been, semi-seriously, referred to as a HAZMAT zone before when Misato was there! Then this!
"Misato, das sieht überhaupt nicht wie das alte Apartment aus"
"Ich weiß, es ist besser! OK, das Essen ist vegetarish, aber ich werde mich nicht beschweren wenn ich nicht kochen muss!"
"Was meinst du, es gibt kein Fleisch?!"
"Er, can you say that again?" Shinji asked carefully from behind you. You didn't notice, though, as a young woman stepped out of the kitchen. She was your age, fine-lined and with porcelain skin, yarn-blue hair, and those red eyes-
-screams of pain, a look of utter contempt, the feeling you were missing something-
-you didn't like those eyes. It took you a minute to recognize why, though; not that you hadn't tried to bury the memories of the dolls your mother had oh-so-carefully made in the days before her mental collapse. Yours had been the most vivid, but the rest of them had scared you too- boys dressed plainly holding balls and instruments, a grinning man with shaded eyes and clasped hands, an old ghost haunting the cast, and worst of all a carefree trio with arms intertwined, unfinished when she snapped and tried to hang herself from a pipe. Shaking your head to clear the images, you focused on the smell of food.
"Hello, Shinji, Misato." Rei Ayanami said, your mind supplying the name as easily as how you'd always known to check your cable plugs and slide into a plugsuit. "Who's this?"
"This is the new pilot, Asuka Sohryu." Misato said, smiling. "Asuka, meet Rei Ayanami, pilot of the Prototype Evangelion."
"Good to meet you." you said stiffly, bowing politely when she bowed to you. The food was good, though you ate lightly and drank plenty of water. Pigging out after a synch tended to be a bad idea, since LCL could do things to your stomach if you weren't careful. Misato still drank, though, and a quiet conversation was carried on Rei and Shinji as you slowly scoped out the social terrain. There was trust between Shinji and Rei, a trust you craved, and even though you sat at the same table it felt like you were a million miles away.
After dinner, Shinji got the guest futon out for you while took a bath. The warmth helped relax you, digging out the tension that had been gnawing on your back all day. Things hadn't exploded yet. You would be fine, probably. Either way, as you stepped out and into a terrycloth robe, and let your poor abused hair down. You'd have to get it trimmed soon before you could keep growing it out more, but that wasn't a terrible concern. Right now, you just wanted to crawl into your futon and fall asleep. Even as you came out from the bathroom and made your way to the living room and the slight layer of detrious that hadn't been cleaned up, a thought kept flickering against the edge of your mind.
Right- Ayanami's name. How did you know that? It hadn't been hard to figure out that you weren't quite… you… in the EVA cockpit, considering your nigh-prenatural fighting tallent and often nonsensical yelling. You also learned things, glenned from the seed of the EVA as you synchronized- such as how to work in the cockpit, some mathamatics, and most importantly how to waltz. That last one was probably the most fun but least useful, but it was still something. There was a theory that they were communcations from your mother, but that was nonsense. Mother was dead.
Shaking your head, you sighed and got into the futon. Whatever happened to sweet dreams, instead of tides of vinegar and bile? Probably when you finally realized that sleeping after a synch meant hell. Nothing to it, then.
---
You came to in the entry plug, Synch ratio blasting upwards and a roar of pain in your throat. Your head burned, eyes wet and dripping from tears not cried, and there were nine Evangelions in front of you, each the same as the last. You were the final line of defense of the Geofront, and it would end today. A blast of mental static pulsed through your mind, before you started moving forward, screaming. You either fought, and possibly died quick, or were eaten limb by limb.
Charging forward, you started screaming commands out, power cables flying out of buildings as you daisy-chained from one to the other. You had to be quick, a real devil in red as you moved in, leaping and bounding as one threw their swords at you. Dodging handily, you kept moving, ducking under the wild swing of one of them to pop up in it's guard, Progressive Knife in hand. Backhand, forehand, backhand, and that was enough to open up it's chest- the easy part. Now you had to commit, though, to ripping the core out before you could destroy it. Most nights, this is when you died- but tonight was good. Tonight you got it, hauling as it came out, and screaming as you cracked it wide open.
One down, and seven to go-?
No, eight were left, and then you buckled forward as a hammerblow took your knee out. Mobility stolen, you tried to lunge at the one that had snuck behind you, but he just cut your cable and laughed. Five minutes left, if only. Charging him, you ejected the remains of the cable while ducking in, parrying a stab as you kept closing. It was almost as your knife would reach him that your other leg gave out. Your leg had been pinned by a weapon, thrown by the one that snuck behind you. Swearing, you just had to pull it out and keep going- but there was nowhere to keep going as they surrounded you. Trying to deaden yourself to the pain, you felt, more so than saw, them start pulling at your arms.
The sockets were strong, but not that strong as you screamed in pain. Forcing yourself through the un-phantom limbs, you pulled your physical arms in tight to your chest as you tried to stand, to run. Tactics and artistry had fled your mind as you thrust your hips up to make the bridge, and then waved the back of the Evangellion to stand. Two steps more, and you could leap, and taste air-
-or blood, as you felt the LCL pressure in the cockpit dive. That was fine, though, your Entry Plug had been hit enough in this hellscape to know the feeling all too well. Still, as your hair floated to the top and down past your eyes, there was a coldness sapping your energy, staining a true, opaque red on top of the lifeblood of the entry plug. Oh. You'd been hit. Looking down casually as you tumbled through the air, a prong of a spear had nearly bisected you, leaving your legs held on by thin strips of flesh. Everything below your breastbone was dead, and when you hit the ground and torqued the lance it was shortly later torn off.
In the Entry Plug, the chill of death prevailed as LCL and blood poured out. Hacking out a cough, you reached one last time as you went for the control levers, trying to pull yourself back into control-
-and then you were awake, screaming in Misato's apartment as her bedroom door flew open.
"Asuka!" she yelled, but in your frigid state all you heard was the howl of the Mass Productions coming again. Hands scrambling to find your legs and hips where they should have been, you jumped up, rushing into Misato's open arms before twisting maniacally. An embrace turned into a hip throw, and Misato took it as gracefully as she ever did, rolling off the tatami mat floor and into a clear stance despite her earlier drinking.
"Asuka, it's me." she said, calming down. How was she so calm- you still had to fight! The Mass Productions were still out there, and as your hand flew to your shoulder to check your prog knife, Misato swore under her breath. Good- she knew how serious this was. Staring into that wild purple hair, you slowly forced her back into the category of 'friendly'.
"Misato?" a voice asked from behind her, and you slowly strafed right before you saw someone. Mousy, small, no weapons, no threat. Not important. No problem. "Is something-"
"Go back to your room, Shinji." Misato said calmly, never taking her eyes off you. "It's nothing serious."
You bared your teeth, trying to figure out angles. You could get out the kitchen door, or through the balcony and down or across. As the mousy boy retreated, though, you kept sidling right to see- and then you saw it.
"Angel." you hissed, taking a perfect breath in before surging forward in a fury of violence. Grabbing an empty beer can, you hurled it as a distraction, while ducking towards the barely-disguised shelf of bottles. It didn't matter what kind you took in hand, though, since they'd all break the same as you bounced off the wall and went in on the eyes of crimson. Death rode with you in that moment, the stress of forever preparing to come out. Arm cocked back, you lunged with perfect form- just as a freight train barreled into your side.
"Asuka, down!" Misato yelled. "Stand down!"
It didn't matter- you had to kill the Angel. Roaring, you got ready to throw, only for your weapon to get pulled away and discarded. Screaming, you reached up, but the hand that took your arm was warm.
"Asuka, it's me, Misato!" the person over you said again, pulling herself in. "It's Misato. Remember me? Breathe, think, think with me Lämmergeier. Remember when I was there?"
For a moment, a long moment, your brain locked. Then, slowly, you went limp. Misato stayed over you the entire time, grip firm and warm as she shielded you.
Then the tears started. No gentle thing they were, coming out in bellowing sobs and wracking coughs, until the ire faded from your eye. It must have been two in the morning when you finally finished coming to your senses, and by then you knew it had been a bad one.
"Hey, Misato." you croaked carefully. "I'm back."
Misato cracked a tired smile. "I can tell. Haven't had one that bad in a long time, have you?"
"Not since I was nine, yeah." you said, sighing. "I'm- just…"
"Go back to bed, Asuka." Misato said, smiling. "We'll handle it in the morning."
///
How do you handle things in the morning?
[] Just… leave. Wake up early, get gone, no messy apologies or anything, just make with the disappearing act and go to your apartment or something.
[] Get up early, and get to work cleaning the mess. It was your problem, so it'll be your solution to it.
[] Don't mention it. Don't mention anything related to it. Just shovel it all under the rug, and when you're gone Misato can just keep a lid on it like she always has done.