Project: Gamer Ver. Error, File Not Found
Anime Adjacent Entry: 070
Disclaimer Me Do: I own nothing you recognize. And most of what you don't recognize, I still don't own.
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25/7/1993
The water ran red.
Areru's mind was... not operating at full. He was mentally exhausted.
And the water ran red.
The pain was gone. The wounds were gone. Areru could run his fingers around his eyes and not feel the incisions. He could press his hand against his chest and feel his heart beating.
He could still taste his own blood, though. But, at least, he actually had a tongue to taste his blood with.
Silver linings?
Red water.
Everything had healed. The pain was gone.
And yet, Areru's hands still trembled. The physical marks had faded, sure, but... he could still feel the knife, carving into his flesh. Could still hear his own screams, reverberating off the walls of the cave. Could still feel the bite of his own claws, digging and slicing and gripping and pulling and-
The water... ran red.
He was going to have nightmares about what he'd done. His choices were going to haunt him for a long, long time.
On some level, he'd already known that. Being able to physically regenerate didn't mean he wouldn't feel pain. It just meant the scars wouldn't be visible.
The teen's limbs felt like lead as he began to slowly and carefully clean himself. He started at the top, scrubbing at his hair and working in shampoo before moving down. He worked water and soap into the dried blood caking his body. He scrubbed, he scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until his flesh was red and raw and then watched as that redness receded, replaced with healed and healthy skin.
Areru swallowed and looked down.
The water ran clear.
The only evidence left of what he'd done to himself was in his memories, now.
The teen threaded his hands into his lank, wet hair and balled his hands into fists as he leaned forward, hunching in on himself.
No...
Areru drew in a long, shuddering breath.
There was more. In the other room, physical and real and alive...
Just like Reis.
Areru inhaled sharply, the sound low and keening.
He wasn't crazy. He wasn't insane! He hadn't gone mad or delusional, creating imaginary friends and then... then...
He... he wasn't.
Finishing up, Areru dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist before he stepped back out and into the house proper. Ryoko was sitting at the table, next to Reis, and the duo were watching the news. And, outside of the house itself, rain hammered against the windows and the nearby trees whipped back and forth in the heavy winds of the ongoing tropical storm.
Silently, the teen made his way upstairs and went to his room. The boy got dressed, loose pants and a loose shirt and no belt and no knife made of Adamantine. He barely even looked at the armor stand he'd put together, the outfit of the Adamantine Knight sitting on it in pieces with the helmet intentionally placed on the floor.
Areru hadn't liked how it felt like the helmet was staring at him when he tried to sleep. At least, kept separate from the rest of the armor, it broke up the form and didn't feel like there was another person in the room.
He really wasn't helping his case.
Going back downstairs, Areru noted that Ryoko's clothes, aside from being horrifically outdated even by his standards, also did not cover very much. Of course, he also had no idea if the woman really cared about modesty. She wasn't human, after all, and her concerns would be equally inhuman.
Well.
He'd deal with that as it came.
"Ryoko," Areru called, getting her attention. "Why don't you try taking a shower? I'll grab some of my mom's old clothes for you."
The woman blinked, hesitating for a moment. Her hands trembled, her fingers twisting half-way into sign language before she caught herself.
"You know? That sounds pretty good!" she said, a fanged smirk slipping on to her face like a mask. "You want to come and help? Maybe wash my back?"
"Maybe later," Areru denied her with a small shake of his head. "I need to figure out where I put my mom's clothes and start cooking. Anything in particular sound good?"
"Sake," Ryoko immediately responded as she floated into... the... air.
She could still do that?
"I'll see what I can find." Areru watched the woman disappear into the bathroom he'd vacated just a few minutes earlier and stared at the closed door.
Areru didn't need to turn around and look to see Reis get up and follow him as he went back upstairs. His familiar's claws clicked with every step on the hardwood floor. He left the door to the master bedroom open as he entered, Reis dogging his heels.
He'd only just opened the closet when the dragon finally spoke.
"Why?"
"Why, what?" Areru asked as he began to dig through the boxes.
He'd never bothered labeling anything...
"Why her?" Reis asked in Draconic. "Jinx. Kary. Yuffie."
"Because she was here," Areru admitted, his voice low and flat. "Because I've spent the last decade wondering if I was going insane, Reis. Because this country hates me, and people like me, and she didn't. Because she and I were both isolated, outcasts, forced to be alone."
As he spoke, Areru continued opening boxes and checking the contents before setting them aside.
"Because she chose to care for me," he continued. "And I chose to care for her in turn."
"Kary," Reis growled. "Did you forget about her? Have you told the thing downstairs about her?!"
Areru paused and turned to look at the mist dragon, noting the steam leaking from her nostrils.
It was the most he'd ever heard from the little dragon. Which... may have been due to her speaking in a tongue that was properly comfortable for her instead of struggling through English or Japanese.
"...I've told Ryoko all of my stories, Reis," Areru admitted as he turned back around to get back to work. "I've told her about meeting Jinx, how I terrified her back then. I told her about meeting Kary, the form she used to wear. I've told her about Yuffie, and the stifling nobility that lost her. And I've told her about you, about Ash, about..."
Areru trailed off, his hands tearing at the cardboard flap of a box full of Daisuke's old clothes.
"I haven't lied to her," Areru continued, his voice warbling briefly before he sniffed loudly. "But Reis? If I knew calling for a familiar would have summoned you? I wouldn't have cast the spell."
He inhaled, a wet and shuddering breath.
"This reality is a prison, hon," Areru continued. "I can't leave- I've tried! I've Planescaped to the next reality over, and over, and over, and then I found myself back here. I can't leave! I didn't want to drag you in to this. I didn't want-"
Reis's forehead pressed against Areru's back, a soft trill escaping the surly dragon's throat.
"O-ha-na," Reis said, repeating the first words she'd ever said aloud to him. "You were not forgotten. You were not left behind."
Areru turned around, shuffling about on his knees, to face Reis. He pulled her against him, wrapping her in an awkward hug as the hurt he tried to keep inside... broke free.
"I'm sorry," he told the dragon, his voice hoarse. "I'm sorry. I can't- I don't- I..." He swallowed, spittle and snot struggling to work around a thick lump in his throat. "I... I can't leave Ryoko behind, Reis. She... she's like me. Like Kary. Maybe... exactly like Kary. I..."
"Stupid," Reis said as she pressed her forehead against Areru's chest.
Areru couldn't argue with her.
It was true, after all.
-----
Ryoko watched the water circle the drain, tears dripping down her face. Her hand pressed against her chest.
He wouldn't leave her behind?
She was broken. She knew that. She'd had that drilled into her head for thousands of years. But...
Areru wouldn't...
Give up on her?