Anderson Quest: Killing Vampires and Werewolves and Leprechauns (Hellsing/Bloodborne)

[x] the chapel
[x] inform your new friends and followers about the situation,
[x] make sure they hunker down and prepare for some SHIT!

because no one seems to be voting for my suggestion
 
Ask the Audience
"That's my job," you say with a shrug. "A man o' the LORD is sworn ta carry the burdens of his flock."

"Am I part of your 'flock' now?" says Yurie. "You have momentum, Anderson. You catch people in your wake and they can't get away." She curls up and buries her head in her lap. "I'm so tired. Fix this. Please."

"I'll fix it. Don't you worry about that. First, though, somethin's been buggin' me for a while."

"Oh?" She uncoils a bit, educator's instincts overriding her weariness.

"See, when I died and showed up here, everythin' came with me. The coat, the bayonets, even the fancy specs I'm certain were smashed ta bits. So what about that thing I had in my heart?" You move forward a bit in your seat. "Ebrietas, do ye feel anythin' from my chest? If ye can't, would ye mind poppin' my heart out and givin' it a once-over?"

Ebrietas hesitates a moment before responding. Father, you promised me you wouldn't abuse your regeneration anymore. And the last time someone pulled your heart out, you died. I don't want to do that to you. For what it's worth, I can't detect anything on any frequency I know and your heartbeat sounds free of foreign objects.

"Fair enough," you say. "I apologize for that."

She nods and you sink back into your chair.

"So what all have we got to wrap up?" asks Simon. "The Nightmare? You haven't exactly left many stones unturned in Yharnam."

"Think it's just the Nightmare, yeah. Fingers crossed Maria'll let us close the book on that one.

"Speakin' o' Maria," you say, "I've got some more questions for her great-great-great-whatever grandmother." You start to rise before a stern look from Yurie sits you right back down. "Oy, Queenie. Ye been listenin' in on this?"

"We've little else to do," she replies, dryly enough to suffocate whatever hardy fish remain in the lake.

"Any thoughts on the whole 'livin' in a dream' situation?"

"We had not suspected. Trapped in a room, interacting with the outside world only secondhand, We had no point of reference. Our own immortal body robbed Us of any way to measure time."

"Yeah, heard that one before. Any idea who the host might be? Ye bragged about that fuckhuge library, after all. Where's that Cainhurst knowledge ye tried ta tempt me with?"

When she remains silent, you put on your smuggest look, one so blindingly irritating that even a foot of iron can't save her from it. "Or was all that just a bluff?"

"You are playing to Our pride. Do you really think that's going to work?"

"Considerin' I'm fine and ye're a head on a table? Yeah, I kinda do."

Her sullen silence radiates the patience of ages, the unflappable demeanor of a born monarch.

"Just talk," says Simon. "I'll throw you both in the damn lake if I have to and, unlike you, he can swim."

"Fine," she grumbles. "Give me a moment to think."

It's actually three or four moments, but you're a nice enough guy to let it slide.

"It may have to do with the source of Our blood: Yharnam, Queen of the Pthumerians. They ruled the catacombs beneath the city in ages past and their writing speaks of her tryst with Formless Oedon, the Great One for whom your chapel is named. She bore his child, Mergo, but he came out stillborn. The collected works of Loran, Isz, the Hintertombs, and Pthumeria offer no better possibilities than Oedon, Queen Yharnam, or Mergo himself."

"You said he died at birth," says Simon.

"In the human sense, perhaps. Great Ones do not die as we do. Their consciousness persists, much like the dreamers of whom you speak."

"Counterpoint: I beat the shit out of a couple o' Amygdalae and they died proper."

"The situations were slightly different, Anderson."

"Byrgenwerth did encounter the remnants of Pthumeria," Yurie chimes in. "Some of our explorers actually acquired a blood sample from their queen, but someone defected to Cainhurst and took the sample with them. As far as I can tell, she's telling the truth."

"Not like she has any reason ta lie at this point besides raw spite and there are better ways ta go about that." You rise again, halting Yurie's own rise with a wave of your hand. "I'm not gonna do anythin' mean; just givin' her a reward for her cooperation."

Scrounging among the building's various chairs, you locate a suitably plump cushion. You heave Annalise into the air, put the cushion beneath her neck stump, and plop her back down. She doesn't thank you, but you take the lack of biting sarcasm as a sign of approval.

"Is that all you need, Anderson?" Yurie says. "Are you ready?"

[] Go to
-[] The Dream
-[] The Chapel
-[] The Nightmare

[] Keep talking

[] Write in...
 
Well that Nail bit was pointless. And we didn't even bother to do the pointless act.

I say we go talk to Maria. Gherman is restrained from talking about the truth of the Dream, but Maria should have some real expertise on the matter.
 
... What do you guys think will happen if we brew some strong coffee (why yes, it does make a great paint stripper) and inject Rom with it? Reckon it'd make her stop dreaming?
 
... What do you guys think will happen if we brew some strong coffee (why yes, it does make a great paint stripper) and inject Rom with it? Reckon it'd make her stop dreaming?
Well, I can't remember if coffee exists in Bloodbourne, but its worth a try.
We'll probably have to make it extra concentrated though. And upsize it too. A grande expresso ain't gonna cut it.
 
... What do you guys think will happen if we brew some strong coffee (why yes, it does make a great paint stripper) and inject Rom with it? Reckon it'd make her stop dreaming?
Rom is not dreaming. Rom is a vegetable. When the Byrgenwerth scholar became an eldritch spider, her mind broke entirely. The problem isn't that she's napping and we need to wake her. The problem is that as every other part of what made her human slipped away, Rom held onto the duty she had been given, to hold back the nightmare. Now, that's all there is left. She isn't Rom the heroic guardian. She's Rom the gate, and unfortunately we need to break that gate down to fix things. But, really, it's not that bad. She's been doing this for a long while now; she deserves to rest. After all, her task is finally done.
 
[X] Go to
-[X] The Chapel
--[X] Tell people about the whole "Yharnam is a dream" thing and get a War Council going.
---[X] How can we best protect the people from the influence that Rom holds back?
---[X] Finish off the Nightmare, finding any other sane survivors in Yharnam, maybe explore the catacombs underneath Yharnam for answers. What else needs doing? Open the floor for suggestions.
I was thinking of something like this, does anyone have something to add?

I'm also not sure if doing this or going to the Nightmare to debrief with Maria first would be better, she might know something that should be brought up at the War Council.
 
Rom is not dreaming. Rom is a vegetable. When the Byrgenwerth scholar became an eldritch spider, her mind broke entirely. The problem isn't that she's napping and we need to wake her. The problem is that as every other part of what made her human slipped away, Rom held onto the duty she had been given, to hold back the nightmare. Now, that's all there is left. She isn't Rom the heroic guardian. She's Rom the gate, and unfortunately we need to break that gate down to fix things. But, really, it's not that bad. She's been doing this for a long while now; she deserves to rest. After all, her task is finally done.
Sounds like it would take a MIRACLE to return her mind. I wonder who could be known for pulling such things...

Nah, can't think of one. Besides, if she can't be healed then it would be our duty to put her out of her misery. Much like pulling the plug on someone who is alive, but with no mind.
 
I doubt Anderson will be too thrilled about killing an innocent, this looks like a job for some good old fashioned divine intervention.
 
Well, if we do pray for a divine miracle, let's hope Anderson doesn't pray to Old Testament God.
God knows what kinda convoluted trial Anderson would have to go through.
 
[X] Go to
[X] The Chapel.
[X] Update the posse on what you've learned.
[X] See if you can make a casserole.
[X] Bring some of that casserole to Maria as a Nightmare-warming gift. See how she's doing.
 
[X] Go to
[X] The Chapel.
[X] Update the posse on what you've learned.
[X] See if you can make a casserole.
[X] Bring some of that casserole to Maria as a Nightmare-warming gift. See how she's doing.
 
[X] Go to
-[X] The Nightmare
--[X] To have a chat with Maria about the whole "Yharnam is a dream" thing.
---[X] Bring Annalise, you don't want to miss the family reunion.
 
[X] Go to
[X] The Chapel.
[X] Update the posse on what you've learned.
[X] See if you can make a casserole.
[X] Bring some of that casserole to Maria as a Nightmare-warming gift. See how she's doing.
 
[X] Go to
[X] The Chapel.
[X] Update the posse on what you've learned.
[X] See if you can make a casserole.
[X] Bring some of that casserole to Maria as a Nightmare-warming gift. See how she's doing.
 
[X] Go to
[X] The Chapel.
[X] Update the posse on what you've learned.
[X] See if you can make a casserole.
[X] Bring some of that casserole to Maria as a Nightmare-warming gift. See how she's doing.
 
[X] Go to
[X] The Chapel.
[X] Update the posse on what you've learned.
[X] See if you can make a casserole.
[X] Bring some of that casserole to Maria as a Nightmare-warming gift. See how she's doing.
[X] Bring Annalise too.
 
Alright, here was my other pick for a protagonist.

SO NON-CANON IT HURTS

The skeletal, tentacled being descended slowly from the moon with a grace wholly alien to its grotesque appearance. Through its empty face, it observed the scene with some curiosity.

The beautiful white field was ruined, gouges as wide as a man was tall carved through the flowers with ferocious intensity. Its vassal lay broken, weapon shattered, with an incongruous look of serenity on his dead face as he shimmered into nothingness. Another man stood over him, clad in yellow with eyes downcast. He turned to meet the creature's endless gaze.

No fear. Just disappointment.

Curious.

With a force of will, the being entered the man's mind, not as invader but as observer. To destroy its vassal without a scratch, to observe its impossible form without a hint of fear or awe; what could this man be?

It looked deep into the journey that took him here and it saw.

The streets of Yharnam, cleared with terrifying efficiency.

Children carried to the safety of a good Doctor, their father and mother ragged but alive.

Breaking bread with the Chapel Dweller, bringing a smile to its sullen face.

The Vicar, felled in one blow.

Old Hunter Djura, aghast as the Blood-Starved Beast crashes through the old chapel roof and into the horizon, too far for him to see even from his lofty perch.

The labyrinthine Forbidden Woods cleared in a straight line, all obstacles blown aside. Rom battered.

The One Reborn leaving a trail of destroyed architecture as it careens from an incredible blow. It is dead on impact, long before it finally comes to rest well outside the confines of the village.

Ebrietas taking the same look into his mind and prostrating herself before him. Him leaving her be, asking her why, with all her strength, she remains a prisoner.

The Mensis Brain felled with a stone, hurled from the first Lamp of the Nightmare with impossible speed and accuracy.

Micolash beaten senseless. The Wet Nurse struck with such force that the Nightmare itself bends and warps around it, unable to process that sort of impact.

And here, in the eternal serenity of the Hunters Dream it crafted so long ago, The First Hunter's monstrous power turned aside and destroyed.

Curious.

It touched down silently and approached him. At no point in its advance did the man break the closest thing to eye contact he could achieve. Tentatively , it reached forward to embrace him and impart the knowledge of his new role.

He glared at it.

The being, nameless and ageless, felt the fear of death for the first time in its very long life.

It scrambled backwards, all semblance of grace lost as it tumbled over itself in an effort to be as far away from this thing as possible. In a horrid parody of speech, it screeched out the question whose answer it could not find.

"What are you?!"

The man's bald head glinted in the false sunlight as he reached down with his red-gloved hand and adjusted his pants to remove a wedgie.

"Just a guy with a hobby."

One Bloody Punch, an One Punch Man/ワンパンマン + Bloodborne Crossover fanfic | FanFiction

Some asshat copied this and put it on ffn.
 

Wow. That's low.

EDIT: While one could argue that @Tricia doesn't have any copyright on the quest due to the fact that it's well, a fanfic, taking someone else's words wholesale and claiming them as your own is still plagiarism any way you slice it. This isn't cool. What's even worse about it though, is that the fic writer claimed he was going to expand it later. What else was he going to do? Copy another random fanfic-writer's words wholesale? Or would he just utterly butcher @Tricia's innocent little omake to get ratings?
 
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