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Anderson Quest: Killing Vampires and Werewolves and Leprechauns (Hellsing/Bloodborne)

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Tentative vote. If anyone can phrase it more creatively/coherently, then feel free. Edit: Ahfuckit.

[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[x] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
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[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[x] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[x] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.

Rosemary's head is going to explode at finding out that her 'god' converted and is very very unhappy at the churches' behaviour.
 
TheOtherSandman said:
"You'll be happy to hear that I didn't kill your god."
"Well-"
"I converted her!"

*DRAMATIC REVEAL OF NUN-BRIETAS*
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Hmmmm...
Tricia said:
"That said, ye've given me an idea." You turn towards Eileen. "Remember all the curtains and drapes from Upper Cathedral Ward?"

"Yes?"

"I'll be right back."

A quick teleport, some fiddling around with nails, and a bit of careful draping later, you step back to admire your handiwork. Ebrietas now resembles a very large, very lumpy ghost.

I look silly.

"Nah, it'll work out fine."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Y'know, if we get a tailor or a dozen to make the cuts and folds even, add some blue (or other color-appropriate) dye, then fashion out a decent habit on what's left, Ebrietas can look like a proper nun.

...If you squint hard. And ignore the blood dribbling from your nose. And the alien knowledge being dumped into your head.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
[X] Ask Eileen to go ahead first and explain to Djura what happened back at the upper Cathedral
-[X] Afterwards, she's gonna take Vicar Rosemary to see her 'god'. This will let us see if a non-Hunter can look at Ebrietas and talk to her now without their brains turning to mush.
[X] We'll stay back a block away. Answer whatever questions Ebroetas may have about the faith to pass the time.
 
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Touched By Her Noodly Appendage
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    • "Alright, how's about this," you say before Eileen has a chance to damage too much of the masonry. "Why don't ye go back ta the chapel and fill Djura in on what went on. After that, ye can bring Vicar Rosemary over so's we can see how well Ebrietas can speak ta normal folks. We'll work from there"

    Who's Vicar Rosemary?

    "One o' the folks what abused yer trust."

    "Am I correct in assuming that you also wish to rub her face in the fact that you managed to befriend her god?" says Eileen, making for the doors.

    "Little bit."

    You swear you can see her smirk through the back of her head. She steps into the heavy evening air and vanishes, leaving you alone with your latest and greatest acolyte. You take a seat on the comfiest-looking piece of debris you can find and enjoy the cool breeze wafting in through the exploded entryway. The smell of putrefaction is hardly noticeable at this point.

    "If ye have any questions about the faith," you tell Ebrietas, "I'd be happy ta answer while we wait."

    I really want to learn more, but right now I also want to know about you. As in Upper Cathedral Ward, she sort of slumps down to rest her weight on her lower body. Some minor squirming ensues as she attempts to get more comfortable in her makeshift habit. You're strong and interesting and scary.

    "Alright, then. What do ye want ta know?"

    Everything?

    "I suppose I can do that."

    Eileen, being a model of speed and efficiency, retrieves her quarry right about the time you finish explaining the concept of the papacy to Ebrietas, who manages to wrap her sizable head around the Catholic Church's logistical structure but has some questions about His Holiness.

    If God has a mortal representative, why doesn't He grant him any supernatural abilities to better spread the Word?

    "I'd like ta see the old man chuck fireballs, too, but the Pope needs ta be mortal ta have the proper perspective."

    And God can't make the Pope more persuasive because people have to join the faith of their own free will, right?

    "That's right!"

    Eileen clears her throat and the two of you turn to face her. Before her kneels a figure, whom you assume to be Rosemary, with a burlap sack on her head. She smells of well-aimed vegetables, though she's apparently left her "I Am A Massive Knobhead" sign behind.

    "I figured you'd want to make a suitably dramatic reveal," Eileen explains.

    "Ah, ye're a woman after me own heart." You walk over to Rosemary and crouch down to eye-level. "How've ye been, Rosemary?"

    "I hate you in ways I did not previously think possible."

    "I'm glad I could broaden yer horizons." You stand back up and look at Eileen. "How'd Djura take the news?"

    "He said he saw her enter the cathedral, but elected to hold his fire until he had more information or she made an aggressive move. I told him I needed Rosemary to address some safety concerns, but didn't tell him exactly what those were."

    You nod. "That'll work. Now, Rosemary, Eileen and I had ourselves an adventure in Upper Cathedral Ward. D'ye know what we found?"

    She doesn't answer, so you just continue. "We found that yer mates were experimentin' on children."

    She stiffens, and you can just about make out a mumbled "didn't know" from beneath the sack.

    "That was bad enough, but then they had ta go and shove slugs in their brains so's I couldn't even get proper revenge."

    They put the phantasms in their HEADS?!

    You raise a finger and mouth "one second" at Ebrietas before resuming your diatribe.

    "But we made it through all of that, and we brought somethin' back. Remember how ye justified yerself ta me?" She nods, and you rip the sack from her head. "Justify yerself ta her."

    Rosemary's mouth and eyes compete to see which can grow the largest. Her look of shock, fear, and incredulity is spoiled only slightly by the meticulously-drawn moustache gracing her upper lip.

    Hello, says Ebrietas, and you can tell Rosemary heard it. She's nearly in shock, coughing violently as her hyperventilation proves a poor mix with the omnipresent miasma. There are tears in her eyes when she finally gets her breath back.

    You hurt people.

    Rosemary opens and shuts her mouth, visibly grasping for the same sort of conviction she had when you interrogated her. Nothing comes out; no explanation, no rationalization. Without a word, she pitches forward, all but smashing her face into the blood-soaked stone.

    "I'm sorry," she breathes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

    She repeats this over and over, growing increasingly incoherent. Ebrietas slithers closer, and you know that from Rosemary's position she must seem larger than the sky.

    What should I do? she says, and some facet of the message tells you it was for your ears only.

    "That's yer decision."

    She lowers her head to think for a moment, scrutinizing the wailing Vicar, and then faces you once more.

    What would Jesus do?

    Despite the situation, you can't help but smile. She's learning so fast.

    "He'd forgive her, if she were truly repentant."

    She nods, and her next statement is on the general channel. Look at me.

    Rosemary does, though you can see every muscle in her body straining to prostrate itself once more.

    Are you sorry because Father Anderson caught you, or are you really sorry?

    "I am truly sorry," she manages to choke out. "Truly. I swear it. Please."

    Then I forgive you.

    The fallen Vicar slams her face back down, hard enough that you hear a crack. Your charge, after a moment's hesitation, reaches forward and awkwardly pats Rosemary's head with her massive hand. You'll have to teach her some of the finer details of benediction when you have the time, but you're sure she'll get the hang of it.

    And now you're curious whether her tentacles can technically "lay on hands."

    [] Take Ebrietas to meet the gang

    [] Take the gang to meet Ebrietas

    [] Take a portion of the gang to do one of the above

    [] Write in..
     
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