Alchemical Solutions [Worm/Exalted] Thread 16: Playful Parasites Pervert Prayer, Perpetuate Plagues

You know what? I want to raid Bakuda's stash. Like, right now. Some of her bombs are miniscule, and we have Hero's micro missile template. Maximum Overkill Potential.

You don't want to make it slow. Not with Jack. Or really any of the S9

Absolutely correct. If I had my way, there would be a satellite tracking them at all times, and a cruise missile pointing at them just waiting for the Siberian to leave for even a moment. Alternatively, Dragon could just build an ortillery station for the same. Have fun detecting THAT Jack.
 
COIL SECOND TRIGGERED!? HOW THE EVERLOVING FRAG YOU CAN SECOND TRIGGER CAULDRON CAPE!?

...Ok, this teaches me about skipping boring bits introduction to the Wards...

:D
 
[Citation Needed]

We never saw anything but him realizing that his power was precog, not timeline-splitting.

iirc Grom said something about it being possible for Shards to adapt to essence use early on anyway. Essence adaptation comes from constantly being exposed to essence and essence-based things like Weavers true form and the Shard desperately trying to make sense of it or something like that. Coil was constantly simulating the assassination to try and kill us and probably using it for other things (like interrogating Danny) so his shard would've been simulating an entire Brockton Bay with Miss screws-up-precog-and-gives-Thinkers-migraines.
 
COIL SECOND TRIGGERED!? HOW THE EVERLOVING FRAG YOU CAN SECOND TRIGGER CAULDRON CAPE!?

...Ok, this teaches me about skipping boring bits introduction to the Wards...

:D
If he wasn't snagged by Behemoth he would have had the most annoying power after Contessa. Instead of two-tries-take-one, he had take-all-the-tries-pick-your-favorite.

Edit: Wait, is he even dead? I'm not even sure. Did we have confirmation that he was killed?
 
Last edited:
Omake - What I Wish Would Have Happened.

Taylor... no Weaver... no ENDURING ORDER ADMINISTRATOR, Soulsteel Alchemical Exalted of the Great Maker, Autochthon, stared into the eyes of the madman known as Jack Slash, feeling the cold logic of Clarity settle into her. And yet, it was still not enough to calm the burning rage, the HATRED she now felt.

Before, she had thought she'd hated the trio, but that compared to this, it was meer dislike.

This was the emotions she felt for the Endbringers, especially for the monster Behemoth.

An anger hotter than the green flames of Malfeas!

A hatred colder than the dark void of space between the stars!

"Listen to me, Jack Slash." Weaver said in a calm, emotionless voice. "And listen well. You think yourself great? I will show you that you are small. You think yourself terrifying? I will show you terror the likes of which would give even you nightmares. For I am EXALTED! I and my kind were crafted to fight and slay beings whom even the gods bowed down to, to protect the people, and destroy monsters such as yourself.

Enduring Order Administrator's anima began to form around her.

"So, know that I am coming for your Jack Slash. Know that any insect around you may be me, looking at you. Know that though you walk around and talk, you are already dead, your body just doesn't know it yet.

"Run, run, Jack Slash, for you have sown the wind, and now you shall reap the whirlwind."

Jack Slash, monster on a scale that few can imagine, looked through the monitor with an arrogant smirk, into the yes of Enduring Order Administrator, and froze. In those eyes he could see contempt, and hatred, but no fear. He saw a will so hard that diamond couldn't scratch it, that could force the universe itself to bend to it by sheer determination.

And for the first time in decades...

Jack Slash knew fear.

Bit short, but I hope this helps.
 
...People don't seriously think that Jack's done the priest thing for any reason other than fucking with people, do they? The whole thing was, from where I'm standing, a gigantic middle finger to us.
I dunno about 'giant' middle fingers, I tried to make up for it in quantity for my reply.:D

Anyway, working on an omake. Let's see if I can get it out by tonight...
 
Coil did not second-trigger. He effectively did the same thing that Taylor did over the course of canon, in terms of figuring out how to actually hear and see through insects reliably. In canon Coil had no impetus to push his power to the limit and see how it actually worked because it was flawless. Taylor's essence expenditure gave him the kick in the pants he needed to finally spent the time and energy to figure out its mechanics, not to mention a reliable way to break it (since you learn more about something when it fails).

Coil is still alive, and plot-relevant. But not relevant right now. Talk about the shit you're in at the moment!

Sleeping now, will be back with a description of the hover throne later. (It's useful.)
 
Kill, kill, kill...

Bonesaw DIES.

NO! Don't be hasty, aside from probably releasing some incredibly lethal plagues she's probably the only one who knows EXACTLY what operations were performed on Missy and everyone else, so instead of killing her we have FPoP literally SMACK THE CRAZY OUT OF HER! Then we have her working at gunpoint to undo whatever she did to them while possibly serving as a skilled tutor for our medicine stat.
Of course, we can just TIE the bodies if we need to establish a queue.

Not unless they're dead or TIE will count them as a person OR like with the Dragonsuit we might wind up tricking TIE into absorbing a person and make it annoyed enough to force us to extrude them and possibly while we're nowhere near facilities/capes capable of keeping them alive so they wind up dying anyway.

...People don't seriously think that Jack's done the priest thing for any reason other than fucking with people, do they? The whole thing was, from where I'm standing, a gigantic middle finger to us.

Given that Jack likes it when things are "interesting" he might genuinely revere Autocthon as a God because he's so much more unique and interesting then any of the plebs inhabiting this world, heck he might even be doing this because he wants to meet/unleash Oberasti SHOGUN OF GENOCIDE! or god forbid the Viator of Nullspace.
 
Last edited:
Dammit, that's what I was afraid of. If he wasn't an absolute psychopath he would have been INTERESTING on our side. But alas, we don't have Solar levels of brain manipulation (or the mind-spike-thingy).
Edit: that was meant for Coil, but it works for Jack too.
 
Last edited:

Hey, isn't that interesting. If we ice the bodies fast enough, and TIE them they could be resuscitated. Or Cradled. We don't technically have souls here and death is a little bit fuzzy for humans.
@Klaus
If they're dead what's the point? You can't submit a corpse for possible Exaltation.

But corpses can be revived if we act swiftly enough. They're time-locked while inside TIE.
 
Last edited:
Shaking with impotent rage. Both Missy and Aisha... God DAMN Jack Slash. All the Exalted bullshit in the world and we can't even protect the kids we took under our wing, so what was even the point!? Maker, I hope Bladedancer is the one to kill him. She, at least, would have the right attitude and make it slow.
I don't think Jack Slash cares about pain all that much.
If you want to make him suffer, then cut off his tongue, arrest him, and have him tried in the most boring trial ever with months and months of legal minutiae where he is treated as just another common criminal.
What Jack wants is to be special.
 
You are evil, Gromweld. Quite evil. I think someone should write a chant to banish you to some nether realm for your crimes against us where you will continue to write interesting things forever. ;)
 
Last edited:
Lo and behold fellow questers! For I have returned with new and improved Internet Connection! What have I missed so far....

Bladedancer turns at the sound, and you meet her lips with yours.
Aaaaaaaaawwww-
The expression on Missy Byron's face is blank, save for a rictus grin forced onto it by a series of bloody staples.
-aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!



I'll... uh... just get started on those Omakes then....
 
I don't think Jack Slash cares about pain all that much.
If you want to make him suffer, then cut off his tongue, arrest him, and have him tried in the most boring trial ever with months and months of legal minutiae where he is treated as just another common criminal.
What Jack wants is to be special.
That's giving him the attention he craves.

Kill him as a footnote. Nobody cared.
 
I guess it's laughing time :V
"Autochthon has spoken! The Reckoning is nigh!"
This did make me laugh pretty hard.
..Maker, we are fucked.
Missy thing was horrible, but expected. This surprised me.
This too. Oh God.

Personally I liked Clarity Taylor.
Me too.
I like the perspective shifts too. Makes things feel fresh.
This could be because I was catching up and didn't have control anyway, but I don't think so.

anything Jack Slash wants to discredit is probably good
Guess it's possible to mitigate the damage by spinning it this way.
People are already wary of conversion. I doubt association with the 9 helps matters.

Kill him as a footnote. Nobody cared.
Agreed.
We saw in canon what happens if he is alive in capture.
 
So is it possible that studying Iris allowed Jack to improve his control of his power and its secondary ability so he could use it to communicate with Belazel's drones in order to control them?
 
Back
Top