Yeah, having Clarity last so long was a mistake in retrospect. It was really fun to write, but I guess I wasn't able to communicate that enjoyment through the writing. A lesson learned, and something that will be getting a lot of trimming when I go back around and turn this into a story.
The wardrobe malfunctions is a bit of a trope from anime, and occasionally Exalted as well, but thinking back has it really been that many times that it received more than a few words of focus?
- Taylor emerges from Cradle
- Refugee camp, after Amy heals
- Pool party
Am I forgetting any? Otherwise that's three times in... 400k words? That's less than once per novel, effectively. Yes, it's not the most high-brow form of comedy, but in each case I never intended anything sexual, just amusingly awkward. Have I failed in this respect?
And the shift to Marrow was something I had planned for all each new Assembly members, so that we see the world through their eyes for a bit. For our next members maybe not as much - or perhaps keep the chapter's interludes focused on Taylor so we keep up with her?
I can agree with length of clarity - while reading, I was wishing it "would end already". But then again, it
was clarity - condition that is not so easy to overcome. Length of clarity worked well in respect of underlining that fact.
As for wardrobe malfunction theme - no, it is not realy visible. At least not really visible by itself - it may be more noticeale due to shift from appearance 2 to ideal of beauty. Reader knows for Weaver looks like, knows that disrobing should be noticeable, so he or she pays more attention to such scenes. Scenes that otherwise would be simply accepted as accidential.
Well, honestly, in my opinion Taylor's appearance shift should be even more underlined as it is. Yes, it is visible, and yes, Taylor went through other significant changes in the same time, but still appearance 5 and consequences of such
are something that is important in everyday life. Not saying, that Taylor is vain, but damn, she is a girl - one that short time ago thought herself as an ugly duckling.
This.
It was barely two months ago that she was a fairly awkward, bullied teen; right now she is acknowledged as one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Some degree of mental dissonance is to be expected, even with all the Alchemical charms and augs devoted to ensuring public poise.
Even veteran Alchemicals sometimes feel the same way; Dreadful Adjudicator of Law is one example IIRC.
EDIT
And if we have the free slots later at Essence 4-5, I'd advocate installing Appearance Augmentations to get her to Appearance 7, for that extra social firepower.
That. I agree with Appearance Augmentation - though for different reasons.
My standing complaint regarding the system in the story is the way backgrounds doesn't really describe real life. "Reputation (beautiful)" especially. Just look at it this way: there were generations of actress, singers and fasion models. Each and every of them strived for this reputation. To succeed, to be considered most beatiful, you need to sway opinions of hundred of thousands peoples. Rabid fangirls. Fanboys. People, that have their entrenched opinion and simply won't change it, evidence by damned. In short you need to sway good percentage of society. Milions of peoples. You need to be famous. You need to be visible for years, for people to notice and be convinced.
Simply buying it with XP? It is too easy. Taylor doesn't exceed that which is possible for a human. She did not do enough to deserve it. She didn't really put efforts into it. Never worked towards it. Never wanted it. Being given it 'just like that', in my mind only devalues it.
And so, Appearance Augmentation could give justification for the title of beign most beatiful. She really would deserve it.
Plus yes, I agree, that social effect would definitely be worth it. Given monumental magnitude of task that stands before Assembly: convincing peoples that alien mechanical
world is friendly, that progressing change in
laws of physics is accepteble and beign... Appearance Augmentation would be a priceless tool.
With Jack revelation... it is even more needed that before.
And with that, we end our time with First Prayer of Perfection. For now, at least - we may have votes to decide to pop on over to other Assembly POVs later on.
Hah! At LAST!
I was beginning to think is became Marrow story!
To bo honest, I'm really glad it is over. I know it is fault of mine, but reading the story I tend to focus on one character, with exclusion of all other points of view. When story is written about character X, I want to see point of view of character X. Character Y interests me only as much, as his or her live overlaps with X.
In case of Marrow - I like her, but I don't really want to read about her experiences. I do not really enjoy it. Yes, it is good writing, yes it is interesting, but with each page I cannot help to wonder, when action will be back to Weaver.
For me, it is difference between reading, and then re-reading the chapter, and urge to scroll text down just slow enough to notice outline of whats going on - and see when that point of view finaly ends.
*is experiencing incoherent rage*
How does Jack know about Autochthon?! Also, he just torpedoed our recruitment efforts completely. Not happy at all.
I'm guessing this is why Iris was experiencing "Divine Rage".
BTW - speaking about Iris, and regarding charms - are there any house rules regarding charm slots? I'm asking, due to fact, that Iris seems to be closer and closer, and with him possibility of charm upgrade. Given that any switch in attributes/essence increate takes
time, all changes will probably had to be done in single go. Perhaps it would be good idea to give opportunity to vote for buying essence / attributes / charm slots, to be realized when opportunity arises?