Alchemical Solutions [Worm/Exalted] Thread 16: Playful Parasites Pervert Prayer, Perpetuate Plagues

Wish we had a high manipulation or charisma, we could try and straighten out Bonesaw back into Riley.

I mean, with a Compassion channel and a 'very' good stunt, we 'might' be able to pull it off, but it'd be very risky. Plus, we'd have to keep Jack away from messing with her head again.
 
@Gromweld Remember how you wrote you were expecting a Rambo Yamada? :D Thanks to Ridtom and Slamu for cleaning this up.

Damn bullet to the knee - An Omake

Jane Yamada stares at her niece from the doorway of her hospital room. 28 and already her career in the army was over. Jessica was staring out her window, her hand lifelessly picking at her sheets and her left leg encased in a brace.

"Jessica."

"Oh hey Aunt Jane."

"How's your knee?" ask Jane as she sat down in a chair beside the bed.

"It's been 4 month, I'll be starting some weight bearing exercise soon."

Taking Jessica's hand in her own. "Good, you're healing faster then expected. Soon you'll be on your feet again." Looking seriously into her eyes, "Jessica, have you thought about what your future will be like after your recovery?"

"I'll be reassign to Walter Reed Army Medical Center as a teacher for a number of years as I recover." said Jessica stiffly. "I knew it's dangerous. Being a field doctor doesn't mean the bullets stop flying when you're on the field. Even operating in base camp, there always the chance of being ambushed. I just didn't think it would happen to me. But I know I'll be ready for the fields in time. This..." She gesture toward her leg "won't stop me."

"Have you thought of other options?"

"Other options?"

"The PRT needs you. There's been an incident of a psychologist taking advantage of his Protectorate and Wards. We desperately need competent and trustworthy therapist to handle the mental health of our heroes."

"I am a field doctor not a therapist!"

"You couldn't resist, could you "Bones"?"

Jessica laughs "It's a classic, no doctor could resist. It's still true though. I am a field doctor, I specialized in patching people up where there no hospital nearby. How can I help? I can't follow the Protectorate into the field and the ambulance would make it there just as fast as I could."

"I know you think you're just a field doctor, but you always looked out for your unit's mental health as well. I've seen you with the mental health medical journals. You're a strong advocate of support for PTSD. You know it's a myth that only war veteran are affected."

Jane takes a deep breath. "As much as we push the image of the Protectorate as the Parahuman Police Force, what they experience is more like a member of the Arm Forces in hostile territory. Combat with the local villains can erupt at any time and nothing can compare to facing the Endbringers every 3 month."

"You have experience with supporting PTSD. You've been in combat, you can relate and be respected." Her hand tightens around Jessica hand before letting go. "Think about it, please. We need you."

-------------​

"The offer is still open, you know. " Jessica turn from her salad to look at Aunt Jane. "The number of villains are rising, and there more combat in the street then in previous years. I've seen the signs Jessica. They come back from patrols hiding their metal fatigue, pretending they're fine, that they're superhuman not parahuman. They need someone to talk to, someone who they can trust and understand. They need you."

Jessica clutch a glass of rum in her hands, and in the other, her handset. Glaring at the ol' Medical Center from her window on campus. 'Two years, two years and I still don't have the stamina to perform surgery in the operating room. Maybe, it time to make a difference in a different field. I am not cut out for teaching. Looking at all those hopeful faces is draining.'

-------------
Yamada walks into the souvenir shop as she admires the piece of Marrow's shredded armour. Dodging a excited child holding a Marrow action figure with retractable bone spike, she walks over to Marrows merchandise. Standing by the display case full of replica bone swords she made in the past, she turns the shard carefully over in her hands. she marvels how different the shard by comparing it the different bone swords.

The Protectorate had ask her to come in and assess Marrow before she assume her duties once more. Jessica had came in that morning to gain more of a feel of Marrow by talking to the rank and file that knew her. She was well aware how Marrow had feel trapped within all her bones from her previous session from 4 years ago. It was interesting that despite how heavy her new form Marrow couldn't feel the weight of the armour even as the floor was threaten to give out. How much of that was her power and how much is it her new found freedom from the cage she always thought she'll die in?

The blaring loud alarm thundered through out the HQ startling her out of her deep thoughts. Reflexes born from her old army days she assess the situation. Her keen eyes sought out the PRT Troopers noticing the alertness and the subtle readiness of weapons. Two officers steps up in the lobby and directs the flow of evacuation though the front door, the third is heading toward her. She notes that included in the evacuation are the PRT evening staff.

Underneath the sounds of the alarm, she hears something familiar that haunts her dreams - gunfire. It's coming closer and closer. Quickly she looks around the souvenir shop. Spotting the metal pole used to hang up clothing on the higher racks, she grabs it. Tearing a Marrow T-shirt she quickly use the fabric to fasten Marrow's shard to the pole making a makeshift spear.

Troopers preforming a running retreat burst out of the hallway leading deeper into the HQ. They take cover behind the tall wide marble fountain and continues to fire at something. A moment later and it's clear they are firing upon a flock of Bezelal birds drones and two Gorilla drones.

'Mastered or Hacked? Bezelal didn't show signs of instability 4 years ago.'

One of the Gorilla focus on the PRT Trooper inside the shop. 'Heading straight toward him. Ignores everyone else.' Scanning the room 'There, that shelf should do it.' Jessica runs toward the tall tower of Protectorate and Wards mugs. She knocks Kali's and Chevalier's mugs to the ground as she climbs to the top of the display case. Not giving any warning Jessica Yamada descends on the Gorilla like wrath of thunder stabbing straight it through to the floor. Pulling out her spear, she drives it through the optical just to make sure it's dead.

"Mrs. Yamada! Mrs. Yamada! Do you hear the change in the alarm? The building is in lockdown, the blast doors are going to close! We have to get everybody out of here." Gesturing toward the door with the hand not holding his gun, the trooper is looking at her with awe.

Jessica looks at the fight still going on out in the lobby. Only two drones are left. She winces as her knee throbs violently reminding her why she's not in the field any more. It was only a brief fight but now she'll only be a liability if she stays.

Taking stock of the civilians that was not evacuated, she notices the child she almost ran into just before the chaos erupted. She was still holding on to the Marrow action figure. Even the awe inspired by how quickly she had taken out the drone could replace the terror the child and the rest of the tourist all felt. They could have never have imagined the the HQ of the heroes could be breached.

"Hey, Marrow's your favourite hero? That's great. See this?" She waves the spear "This was part of Marrow's sword she made today. Don't be scared even if she's not here, she's still protecting us." She's stares into the small crowd using a little known trick, she gives the illusion of making eye contact with everyone. "We'll make sure you're safe and you'll get out of here. It's only a short distance to the doors. You can see it from here. Follow me and Mr ..."

"Thompson"

"Mr. Thompson will guarding your backs." After first scanning for remaining threats she moves quickly towards the door. "Lets go." Wincing a little as the sign of pain escaped her iron control. 'One foot in front of the other' She continues to hide how much she's using the spear as support to walk.

Crossing the open lobby, feeling exposed she leads the civilians to the doors. Pointing the spear outside the doors "GO GO GO, don't stop until you're at least 300 feet from the door."

Glancing at spear and then at the people who won't make it in time, she made a decision. She throws the spear as close as she can to the ones left behind. Hopefully it will save someone else.

She turns and walks out the door with Mr. Thompson, determinedly not thinking on what might have been if only she hadn't taken a bullet to the knee. The blast doors closed with the sense of lost opportunities and regret behind her.

---------​
I hope you like my first try at a long serious omake.
 
Or Autochton's, but people don't like to think about that option.
I guess it's possible she would qualify.
Rather a large risk to take on her life.

Disadvantages of converting a minor would still apply if we had the option of getting her to Amy.

Also there would be uproar in case 53 community if they knew we used a slot for someone in reach of more conventional healing.
I suppose she could use her power to prevent them from knowing?
Would require her to use her power a lot.
 
I guess it's possible she would qualify.
Rather a large risk to take on her life.

Disadvantages of converting a minor would still apply if we had the option of getting her to Amy.

Also there would be uproar in case 53 community if they knew we used a slot for someone in reach of more conventional healing.
I suppose she could use her power to prevent them from knowing?
Would require her to use her power a lot.
It's still not the time to be having this conversation. We are in crisis mode ATM, let's not pedantically whine about whether or not someone should qualify for Exaltation or not. There'll be time for that later.

Though, just a thought. Aisha's shard is the one that prevents people from remembering Trigger visions, right? What happens if Autobot gets his hands on it and converts it? Do new triggers not forget anymore? That could be interesting, in the Chinese sense of the word.
 
Though, just a thought. Aisha's shard is the one that prevents people from remembering Trigger visions, right? What happens if Autobot gets his hands on it and converts it? Do new triggers not forget anymore? That could be interesting, in the Chinese sense of the word.

Maybe they remember something different?

"So you're telling me that every Villain now remembers some sort of evil space whale, and every hero remembers a heroic giant mechanical eyeball, who we should clearly strive to help for his protecting our world from villainy?"
 
Finally got around to reading this. It was a tad longer than I expected it to be, to be honest. Just a tad. :p

Great work! Has it's ups and downs, but overall a fun read so far. :)
 
-Hoover?
Really? How very...... beige of him.
I guess someone has to be the boring white guy. At least with a name like Hoover, noone is going to expect his secret ID to be a superhero.
Not that he likely has much of a civilian life anyway.
Yeah, I thought it was fitting for him to have a milquetoast name.

Also rather surprised that it's strained so easily as well; a four foot wide alloy door should not be generating the kind of stress to annoy a shard.
Shifting between dimensions isn't easy, which is what he's effectively doing. Not enough to cause him any pain, but enough to notice that his power is being strained - and he doesn't want to deal with that strain in combat, if neccessary.
Question though: If his power is supposed to deactivate if he's beyond six feet's distance of his sword and/or armor, how is he supposed to have a civilian life?
He wouldn't be able to go anywhere without any of them.
He has a whole bunch of different civilian clothes absorbed into his armor, so he just shifts the appearance of his armor to them. Shifts his blades to look like keys. Sneaky sneaky, and always prepared for a fight.

And Marrow's bone was even more bullshit to be the toughest material in his sword.
On the bright side, since Taylor absorbed it, she has a fair idea how to replicate it....
A reminder that Marrow's bone armor, by default, was roughly steel-like in density and durability. If she focused on it, she could 'compact' the armor more and more as she extruded more bone, but it took lots of time to do that. The few tests in zero-G chambers saw that there might not be an upper limit, but any attempt in the field to do that would have taken hours and killed her under the weight of it. As a result, the few 'hyper-dense' shards still in existence are only from those tests and in short supply.
-The Philly labs have been hacked twice before already?
And they still maintained an autonomous drone-heavy response force? That's kinda unwise.
One hopes they've switched security at the other bases to manual control.
Protectorate Island's security has been forced into premature lockdown twice before, but never fully compromised to the point of the defenses being turned against everyone inside. Also, Bezalel's drones have been hacked in a one-for-one situation, but never fully to the point where the entire fleet was compromised.
I just realized that a disproportionate number of Philly Protectorate capes use melee weapons.
Chevy and Blade use swords, Marrow used to use javelins; that's half of the old Philly register, not counting Assault and Battery.
And Aisha seems to be taking their example.
Chevalier's sword is a cannonblade, so he has a ranged attack. Bladedancer has decent range on her field of effect, and can propel blades at ~120mph regardless of their weight. Marrow had her shotgun-shard attack and could launch javelins of bone up to away (with decent accuracy at that range, too - there was a reason she was 'mobile artillery'). So, yeah, the theme isn't 'melee weapons' it's 'melee weapons at range'.
If Weaver keeps the limbs, we can fix her.
Limbs kept via TIE. It's gross, and TIE doesn't/can't 'fix' them as they are considered "too broken."
-Cybernetic conversion suggests that he has been converting drones from their animal analogues.
That suggests, for example, that the PRT has been supplying him with animal subjects.
Even without the Mannequin comparison, animal rights groups would raise a stink.
...yeah...
Points of Order:
1)Chevy shouldn't have lost his blade because it was under the blast door, which didn't drop with the labs.
I guess it wasn't clear enough, but Chevy was still approaching the door, not standing under it, when he propped it up. As a result, the blade was stuck at a slight angle, with its pommel getting stuck in the floor of the Tinkertech Lab.
2)
Shouldn't Weaver have a cellphone? Shouldn't Chevy? Why not using it?
Because if there are no jammers in the vicinity, there should be a whole bunch of 911 calls from staff, tourists and the like.
Hell, the prospect of Protectorate Island's turrets being under hostile control should require a call to Philly air traffic control, to route aircraft out of the engagement area.
Protectorate Island can erect a farraday-cage-like effect with its shields to cut off all wireless signals ,as well as disconnect from the landline internet cables. No signals in or out, which is why the mainlanders don't know what's going on inside.
I just realized that Bezalel is Dr. Robotnik.
HAH! I didn't even think of that, but I am amused by this.
Finally got around to reading this. It was a tad longer than I expected it to be, to be honest. Just a tad. :p

Great work! Has it's ups and downs, but overall a fun read so far. :)
Thanks! What were the 'downs' for you, if I may ask?
 
Limbs kept via TIE. It's gross, and TIE doesn't/can't 'fix' them as they are considered "too broken."
That narrows our options in restoring Aisha to good health then.

Protectorate Island can erect a farraday-cage-like effect with its shields to cut off all wireless signals ,as well as disconnect from the landline internet cables. No signals in or out, which is why the mainlanders don't know what's going on inside.
You'd think the cracks of railgun fire, at least, would be attention getting to civvies close enough...
 
He has a whole bunch of different civilian clothes absorbed into his armor, so he just shifts the appearance of his armor to them. Shifts his blades to look like keys. Sneaky sneaky, and always prepared for a fight.
Huh, so basically a version of TIE.
Not bad.
I wonder how many random acts of criminality have been disrupted by the disappearance of an average-looking white man and the appearance of Chevalier.

If nothing else, the canon Undersiders bank robbery would have been all sorts of hilarious if Chevy had gone to the bank in BB that day.
Or even funnier, if Chevy had been sent as a PRT special observer in Daniel Hebert's van.
Limbs kept via TIE. It's gross, and TIE doesn't/can't 'fix' them as they are considered "too broken."
TIE only has to keep them in stasis.
Marrow's Body Reweaving Matrix submodules can fix them, and then Weaver can reattach them.
Touch up with more Body Reweaving Matrix.
There really is no reason for Weaver to leave body parts lying around, since it costs no motes to absorb.

I guess it wasn't clear enough, but Chevy was still approaching the door, not standing under it, when he propped it up. As a result, the blade was stuck at a slight angle, with its pommel getting stuck in the floor of the Tinkertech Lab.
Ah, gotcha.

Protectorate Island can erect a farraday-cage-like effect with its shields to cut off all wireless signals ,as well as disconnect from the landline internet cables. No signals in or out, which is why the mainlanders don't know what's going on inside.
Hmm.
I suspect that policy is going to get rigorous review after this.
I mean, I see why they did it, but the downsides.....
 
Thanks! What were the 'downs' for you, if I may ask?

It's hard for me to remember most of them, really, so that in itself is a good sign. I'll try to at least figure out a few.

Too much robo-Taylor. The thing with her her going super-robo (Clarity, I believe) in the Behemoth fight lasted for a very long time (at least word-count wise) afterwards, and for lasting so long, didn't seem to have much of a satisfying conclusion, or much plot-relevance. It kind of just suddenly petered out, and then ended. I think there was a bit of meditational insight involved, but I don't think it was a very satisfying end for something that had been so prevalent for so long.

Too much fan-service. There's a shitton of 'accidental' nudity scenes and such. They are a bit amusing, but feel a little over-the-top after a while. I think it would be enough with the constant reminder of how apparently gorgeous our Alchemical friends are -- since people staring is unavoidable; I kind of liked how sexual harassment was recently introduced as a concern -- so having them run around naked on top of that feels a little excessive.

With the most recent arc, a bit more of a personal preference of my own, but swapping main characters, even temporarily, is pretty jarring. Especially for stories that use first or second person, rather than third, since the connection feels more intimate. I think the problem is I spent a huge amount of text getting to know the main character so that I care about them, and suddenly there is a new main character, which I'm kind of supposed to care about too, but I don't have the same investment. Especially difficult since Marrow really wasn't an important character before her body-swap. It's a bit like starting a brand-new story, in the middle of a story.

Taylor tends to be a bit of a Mary-Sue at times, but it isn't too bad. I think some of that just comes with the Exalted territory, what with having a million-and-one powers and all. Perhaps also slightly influenced by the quest-nature of plans being made by our forum-consciousness (I'm still new to quests).

That's all I got, for now. Perhaps too general to be very helpful, but hopefully there's something to be gleaned from there. :p

Perhaps worth mentioning that other than from a few other Worm fics I've read, I have absolutely no exposure to the Exalted/crossover material, and no desire to seek it out, yet I've found it easy to follow the gist of it with your fic. Good job with that. Nice and accessible. :)
 
I suspect that policy is going to get rigorous review after this.
I mean, I see why they did it, but the downsides.....
In the event that you use the Faraday option, your primary concern is containment. Prevent any Master/Thinker/Tinker influence from spreading by cutting off communication channels. As a side effect, if there are any conspirators outside the base, this prevents them from coordinating. It hampers your own ability to find out what the hell happened, but that takes a backseat priority to having, say, an out of control AI or a memetic plague from shooting out across the city or the Internet. Ideal? No, but it's the kind of pragmatic solution that tries to make the best of a bad situation.
 
It's hard for me to remember most of them, really, so that in itself is a good sign. I'll try to at least figure out a few.

Too much robo-Taylor. The thing with her her going super-robo (Clarity, I believe) in the Behemoth fight lasted for a very long time (at least word-count wise) afterwards, and for lasting so long, didn't seem to have much of a satisfying conclusion, or much plot-relevance. It kind of just suddenly petered out, and then ended. I think there was a bit of meditational insight involved, but I don't think it was a very satisfying end for something that had been so prevalent for so long.

Too much fan-service. There's a shitton of 'accidental' nudity scenes and such. They are a bit amusing, but feel a little over-the-top after a while. I think it would be enough with the constant reminder of how apparently gorgeous our Alchemical friends are -- since people staring is unavoidable; I kind of liked how sexual harassment was recently introduced as a concern -- so having them run around naked on top of that feels a little excessive.

With the most recent arc, a bit more of a personal preference of my own, but swapping main characters, even temporarily, is pretty jarring. Especially for stories that use first or second person, rather than third, since the connection feels more intimate. I think the problem is I spent a huge amount of text getting to know the main character so that I care about them, and suddenly there is a new main character, which I'm kind of supposed to care about too, but I don't have the same investment. Especially difficult since Marrow really wasn't an important character before her body-swap. It's a bit like starting a brand-new story, in the middle of a story.

Taylor tends to be a bit of a Mary-Sue at times, but it isn't too bad. I think some of that just comes with the Exalted territory, what with having a million-and-one powers and all. Perhaps also slightly influenced by the quest-nature of plans being made by our forum-consciousness (I'm still new to quests).

That's all I got, for now. Perhaps too general to be very helpful, but hopefully there's something to be gleaned from there. :p

Perhaps worth mentioning that other than from a few other Worm fics I've read, I have absolutely no exposure to the Exalted/crossover material, and no desire to seek it out, yet I've found it easy to follow the gist of it with your fic. Good job with that. Nice and accessible. :)
.... Huh.

So it's not just me who had those same problems. I feel better about my Review now!
 
Yeah, having Clarity last so long was a mistake in retrospect. It was really fun to write, but I guess I wasn't able to communicate that enjoyment through the writing. A lesson learned, and something that will be getting a lot of trimming when I go back around and turn this into a story.

The wardrobe malfunctions is a bit of a trope from anime, and occasionally Exalted as well, but thinking back has it really been that many times that it received more than a few words of focus?
- Taylor emerges from Cradle
- Refugee camp, after Amy heals
- Pool party

Am I forgetting any? Otherwise that's three times in... 400k words? That's less than once per novel, effectively. Yes, it's not the most high-brow form of comedy, but in each case I never intended anything sexual, just amusingly awkward. Have I failed in this respect?

And the shift to Marrow was something I had planned for all each new Assembly members, so that we see the world through their eyes for a bit. For our next members maybe not as much - or perhaps keep the chapter's interludes focused on Taylor so we keep up with her?
 
Yeah, having Clarity last so long was a mistake in retrospect. It was really fun to write, but I guess I wasn't able to communicate that enjoyment through the writing. A lesson learned, and something that will be getting a lot of trimming when I go back around and turn this into a story.

The wardrobe malfunctions is a bit of a trope from anime, and occasionally Exalted as well, but thinking back has it really been that many times that it received more than a few words of focus?
- Taylor emerges from Cradle
- Refugee camp, after Amy heals
- Pool party

Am I forgetting any? Otherwise that's three times in... 400k words? That's less than once per novel, effectively. Yes, it's not the most high-brow form of comedy, but in each case I never intended anything sexual, just amusingly awkward. Have I failed in this respect?

And the shift to Marrow was something I had planned for all each new Assembly members, so that we see the world through their eyes for a bit. For our next members maybe not as much - or perhaps keep the chapter's interludes focused on Taylor so we keep up with her?
Off the top of my head:

-Cradle

-Meeting Danny

-Kid Win and Armsmaster barge in on her

-A couple times as Taylor does stuff in clarity (naked stretches, talks to medics naked, talks to Armsmaster and Velocity naked)

-Aisha stripping Taylor (still not happy about that one)

-And then Dennis taking pictures of her in her underwear.

For me, I guess it's not amusingly awkward since it happens to Taylor so much that I'm like, "Jesus, can't she catch a break? Install some safeties for her clothes?" To the point that it's cringe inducing.

This would be interesting if they all lead to some character development or interactions like what you hinted the Dennis situation will bring, but mostly, it just seems unnecessarily mean-spirited I feel.

As for Marrow, I actually enjoyed the perspective shift, found it really interesting. Inspired me to do the Omakes actually.
 
And the shift to Marrow was something I had planned for all each new Assembly members, so that we see the world through their eyes for a bit. For our next members maybe not as much - or perhaps keep the chapter's interludes focused on Taylor so we keep up with her?

I must admit, I'd much rather go back to Taylor. The whole time we've been on Marrow, my reactions after each chapter have been about what we should have Taylor do, but we can't because she's not the viewpoint character at the time.
 
Yeah, having Clarity last so long was a mistake in retrospect. It was really fun to write, but I guess I wasn't able to communicate that enjoyment through the writing. A lesson learned, and something that will be getting a lot of trimming when I go back around and turn this into a story.

The wardrobe malfunctions is a bit of a trope from anime, and occasionally Exalted as well, but thinking back has it really been that many times that it received more than a few words of focus?
- Taylor emerges from Cradle
- Refugee camp, after Amy heals
- Pool party

Am I forgetting any? Otherwise that's three times in... 400k words? That's less than once per novel, effectively. Yes, it's not the most high-brow form of comedy, but in each case I never intended anything sexual, just amusingly awkward. Have I failed in this respect?

And the shift to Marrow was something I had planned for all each new Assembly members, so that we see the world through their eyes for a bit. For our next members maybe not as much - or perhaps keep the chapter's interludes focused on Taylor so we keep up with her?

For the record I, at least, don't really share any of these complaints. I found Clarity!Taylor really funny, in a "Batman" sort of way. Comically serious characters are always a blast, IMO.

And the stuff from Marrow's perspective was great and added a lot of development to a character we knew extremely little about. Sirkalla is super fun and I'll be glad to see more of her. Definitely don't drop the perspective switch for future Exaltations, in my opinion. Also it emphasizes that we should pick characters to Exalt based in part on Who we want to see more of (pun intended) and not just "Beep Boop Gotta build most OP Assembly possible", which as someone who has complained multiple times about people talking up characters we haven't even met for Exaltation, I appreciate.

No comment on the clothing stuff. I find it funny, but then I've watched way too much anime and it really doesn't even ping my "creepy" alarm at this stage. Says more about me than it does you, I think.
 
I think that since you are using second person then its harder to switch perspective. Third person typically works better for multiple viewpoints. I am not really sure why you are using second person. Is it because its a quest?
 
I didn't mind Clarity-Taylor. Would I want to see her in it all the time? Probably not, but what I got so far has in no way soured my enjoyment. Sadly, not everyone agrees with me, but that just means they get to be wrong! : D
 
I likes the wardrobe malfunctions, they are fun and don't happen so often.
 
I found the whole nudity/clothing/everyone-has-a-hard-on thing not so much creepy (thanks, anime) but just kind of annoying. Probably for the same reason I don't watch ecchi anime. But I guess it can't be helped, she does have all those dots in appearance. I guess it's just part of the price.

Clarity was neat, like Cogsprocket said, in a Batman sorta way. I liked it.
 
the whole clothed thing is like gravy, a little bit is fine but don't force fed it to us
 
I like the perception shift, but I think you're overdoing it. Taylor is the hero of this story, the focus should be on her.

I mentioned it when this first came up - with Taylor's focus gravitating towards the strategic level Marrow makes a good tactical counterpoint. IMO primarily the narrative focus should be on Taylor and her actions, but players could, say, opt to have a particular scene from another assembly-mate's perspective, or one scene out of every updating having the alternative focus and players vote on that action.

But again, this story is about Taylor.

=========

I have to add a ditto to the fanservice thing. Even if it's an offhand remark about robo-tits, or just an observation about how, why yes Taylor is in fact stunningly attractive...it builds up. Even if it doesn't consume a lot of wordcount, even if it's not intended to be fanservicy, it's still there.

OTOH, clarity I got. It's annoying to deal with, although your decision to make it easier for us to gain it thanks to admin shard interference and harder to get rid of thanks to that same interference plus not having our exaltation screwed on right was perhaps not, as you've acknowledged, one of the best decisions you've made. The problem is that your good creativity (showing that Autochthon screwed up and that parahuman shards fuck with you) had the unfortunate side-effect of causing Clarity to overstay its welcome.
 
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I didn't mind Clarity-Taylor. Would I want to see her in it all the time? Probably not, but what I got so far has in no way soured my enjoyment. Sadly, not everyone agrees with me, but that just means they get to be wrong! : D
I disagree. But.. you said I was wrong... that means... I'm wrong! I can't handle the mind-blown!
I likes the wardrobe malfunctions, they are fun and don't happen so often.
Not for Taylor though :p (see list above)

I half expect her to just wear like a dozen coats or something just in case:

Marrow: "Administator... why are you dressed like that?"

*Taylor peaks out from under 30 scarfs and fluffy trench-coats*

Taylor: "Protection."

*Marrow raises eyebrow*

M: "From what?"

T: "The World."

..........

..........

M: "Well it looks good on you."

T: "Damn straight!"
 
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