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A Simple Transaction I

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R said on discord that we didn't figure out the tactic Hunger used

maybe there was some shenanigans about where the Deathly Star was aimed? Instead of destroying the Armament, he aimed at something like [the space between the Walls of Myth and the rest of the Voyaging Realm]
 
It could be that he split his Deathly Star beams to target the randoms surrounding the Armament so he'd deploy his Pressure to defend them before immediately curving them all back to Procyon. That seems unlikely though.
 
Rihaku said:
I said you didn't come up with the hilarious tactic. Whether that tactic was at all successful is a different question.
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Yes. I am certainly not claiming that we squeezed through the sliver of probability.

It's just that this is our last chance to call tactics for bragging rights before the chapter goes up!
 
Well, Hunger will always use one of the thread tactics if he can't think of something better, right? So, presumably if he isn't using one of our tactics, he thought of something better? And if he thought of something better, then presumably whatever loss he suffers will be at least an iota less awful, and gives us room to hope that he figured out a tactic that doesn't end up with his bacon needing to be saved.
 
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Another dose of highly caloric Konomena just before Rihaku's own update.

Rihaku-42342 said:
Opposition

The outpost wasn't exactly the palisade-ensconced tent field that Kazuma expected.

It was actual stone and mortar undergoing a slow but steady construction, accelerated with magic. A handful of telekines and geomancers using their gifts in order to assemble the wall at a rate at least four times as fast than if there'd been a normal construction team. It was actually kind of interesting to watch as one mage shaped the inert earth into a large block, another one greased it with some kind of glue spell, and the next one Wingardum Leviosa'd it into place.

It was built strategically, on the very highest point of a hill surrounded on both sides by the growing, steep rockfaces of the nearby mountains. A flanking attack was impossible, and their primary supply line was surrounded by natural terrain that'd make a 'backstabbing' difficult. A straightforward frontal invasion was the only recourse.

Despite himself, Kazuma felt a mote of beating excitement. These monsters weren't idiotic.

That said, the excitement had a second twin side in trepidation. He'd never killed true sapient creatures, and the Giant Toads didn't count. It was enough to put a stopper on his joy, but not even close enough to cork a tenth of his determination.

Despite the common myth, the Demon King Army wasn't actually all-demonic. It was a rather cosmopolitan organization, with members ranging from goblins, ogres, renegade humans, undead, and actual demons who'd been summoned and hired; such as the ones producing the wall of the fortress ahead right now. It showed from a distance away, with skeleton archers and hobgoblin patrols on the empty field between them and their target. Because the enemy cut down most of the trees, they'd have an entire two minutes of advance warning before Axel's adventurers came into combat range.

When Nastor offered for Kazuma's party to spearhead the advance, the boy disagreed vehemently and offered instead to take backline support and magic artillery, as well as tactical support. Nastor wasn't convinced at first, but then Kazuma offered in-depth argumentation of why the choice was better, Nastor seemed to rethink his position and agree. That he was so friendly nonetheless was slightly disturbing, especially with the Brand of the Wretched supposed to make him dislike Kazuma as much as possible.

Nonetheless, they used Apparate in order to cross two-thirds of the distance in large groups, then walked the rest of the way, when Kazuma offered they use the nearby forest in order to conceal their advance, explaining the benefits of guerilla warfare to Nastor, who readily agreed to the proposal.

There wasn't much conversation as they walked, but Kazuma kept catching satisfied glances from Kyouya. Was the man happy that Kazuma managed to keep Aqua from the front lines?

The Goddess herself appeared to have mostly recovered from her state. She complained of dizziness and sickness every now and then but didn't seem to be impacted too much, as predicted.

"Subaru, anything we should expect ahead of us?" Kazuma asked curiously, while the archers and mages behind them in the bush line prepared themselves.

"I don't know," the boy admitted frankly. "This is the first time I'm having this day."

Depending on how Subaru's Return by Death actually worked on a mechanical level, that was either excellent news, meaning that Subaru wouldn't experience any death, or it meant Kazuma lived in a throwaway timeline and he was about to have a very bad time. Could the latter actually happen with Subaru's power?

There was no way to test it safely, but Kazuma had an idea.

"Make a checkpoint here," Kazuma ordered. Subaru nodded, closed his eyes, and focused. A moment later, he opened them with a frown and said, "They have a Lieutenant of some kind; an Archdevil. He's vulnerable to Exorcism but can Counterspell it. He's either an Arch Wizard or something similar."

"You heard the man, Aqua," Kazuma said to the Goddess, who smiled at him and nodded. There was eagerness in her look; because they'd be slaying an Archdevil? "I'll go inform Nastor so we can get the other Priests ready."

Kazuma trudged off. What the adventurers prepared wasn't really a camp, but more of short-term triage and fallback point behind heavy foliage and stone. It had some rudimentary traps and fortifications that Kazuma advised they make in case the enemy chased them, so they'd have time to evacuate the injured.

Nastor - and virtually everyone else - were amazed when Kazuma started to go off on the potentials of the environment without even taking a breath, explaining how to turn branches and rocks into deadly slings that could kill a man when he came into range, or how punji stick traps worked. Naturally, in this dangerous environment, Kazuma moved carefully and attentively; the Affliction of Misfortune would do its damndest to ensure his own weapon stabbed him in the back if he wasn't cautious.

"Nastor!" Kazuma yelled, approaching. The old man was conferring with Kyouya, who'd left his party elsewhere. The man and boy turned to regard Kazuma as he approached.

"It's Kazuma," Kyouya said, gulping. He seemed to be subtly intimidated, and even a little accusatory as if Kazuma was a demon, "Do you have any new defensive ideas? Have you figured out how to make wooden bear-traps?"

There was a lot of merit to that idea, but unfortunately, it was impossible in the way that Kyouya presented it. Perhaps in the future, once Kazuma's crafting and magical skills were more advanced, but not right now.

"Making wooden bear-traps is impossible without a mechanically elastic material," Kazuma countered informatively, going on, "It needs pressure application to release an element that holds back an elastic element with potential energy that'll clamp down the bear-trap's teeth on the victim's appendage. Unfortunately, wood tends to crack and splinter under immense force as its tensile and compressive strength are poor. Therefore, no: wooden bear-traps are a fever dream, barring the application of magic. It's a nice idea, though. I'll make sure to work on it in the future."

Kyouya shuddered as if reviled by the concept of giving the monster in front of him more ideas.

Kazuma looked at Nastor, who unlike Kyouya, seemed to like the idea as much if not more than Kazuma himself. "Anyway, I just came here to inform you we'll be facing a Lieutenant of some kind: an Arch Wizard Arch-Devil. I suggest getting the Priests ready to cast Exorcism on-sight."

Nastor nodded his head. "That Natsuki boy? He's worth his own weight in gold."

"Indeed. I'll see you later," Kazuma said, before returning to the attack line.

The preparations before the strike took another five or so minutes. People needed to get themselves in order, prepare their potion bandoliers, and finish suiting up their armor. A scant couple of cavalry units needed to mount their steeds and cover them in their own armor, and obviously, the news of their new tactic against the Lieutenant had yet to reach the Priests and Archpriests in their ranks.

Within five minutes, all of that was done. Kazuma stood at the aegis of the backline parties, wondering if he should change tactics last-minute.

Subaru's description of the enemy was rather in-depth, marking critical positions, but also outlining the profile of the Demon Lieutenant guarding the outpost. There was some obvious merit in either bombarding the poorly-defended locations to advance the overall battle in their favor, or attacking the Lieutenant in solo combat. According to Subaru, Kazuma matched him in physical statistics, and was only slightly worse in magical ones. That wasn't a big issue in Kazuma's mind, as he possessed an entire arsenal of creative options; he asked Subaru about certain hypotheticals and received mostly positive answers, so Kazuma's confidence grew.

If he wanted to, he could definitely solo the Demon King Lieutenant.

Kazuma was reminded of his Minecraft Manhunt days. It had been lax back then, as he was but a young boy, but it was that game that taught him his signature brand of trickster game exploitation, rule abuse, and cleverness. Youth and trickery.

There was no greater feeling than using a minecart with a block of TNT strategically placed in advance at an obscure, invisible location to destroy your enemies. Kazuma yearned to feel that way again, but he understood the value of the other approach: to be a strategist; to fight an army, rather than a demigod.

It was a difficult choice, but he couldn't make it on time. Nastor declared their advance, and the ranks of spearhead adventurers ran forward - primarily Kyouya and a set of independents, Nastor included. Kazuma and the other support parties stayed back for five seconds, then ran forward after them under the protection of shielding magic. The archer parties would stay back for another ten and do the same.

The enemy detected them at once. The outpost's gate opened, enemy combatants pouring out en masse, while the skeleton archers on the wall started getting into a surprisingly intelligent formation.

The enemy mages ceased their creation of the wall, some of them retreating, while others cast magic that caused tree-like spurs to grow out of the earth; a jury-rigged anti-cavalry palisade of some kind. Only mildly useful against adventurers.

Unfortunately, Kazuma's Advanced Magic wasn't upgraded yet, and its range was poor. He'd need to get at least a hundred meters deep into the enemy's own firing range if he was to release Inferno, or on the very edge of their firing range if he was to release Tornado. He'd support the spearhead until they reached the outpost itself, he decided.

And on the wall, a man in a dark helmet and golden coat emerged, watching them attentively. Kazuma observed him for a moment, then glanced at Subaru.

The boy nodded, and Kazuma looked back up.

This is the one.

---

The last round's winners are Disagree (Rihaku) and Concurrency.

What's the major plan when fighting the Demon Army Lieutenant?

All that Subaru knows is that it's a humanoid in dark, runic armor surrounded by a swaying golden robe and wielding a staff in one hand, a spear in the other. The horns on his head and vulnerability to Exorcism suggest he is a Demon, as does the alternate timeline's Aqua who said that she could smell it. He can Counterspell an Exorcism spell, but he can't do it to several spells at once.

[ ] Just Kill Him - Via concentrated tactical maneuvering, ensure the Priests and Archpriests are in a prime position to mass-fire Exorcisms as soon as the bastard gets in range. Since the Demon King's Lieutenant is fated to be Tired due to Concurrency, this all but ensures that he will perish.

While that happens, Kazuma strategically bombards enemy positions with Advanced Magic, shattering the enemy army in the most efficient possible way. He shields the adventurers from enemy archers and approaching combat platoons in this way; save for the Priests, he personally resolves 50% of the fighting.

*Gain nickname, "Kazuma the Strategist."
*Kazuma feels a sense of pride and accomplishment at the swiftness of the enemy's defeat.
*Minimal personal EXP gain, since the Priests/Aqua get the majority contribution share of EXP from the Lieutenant's defeat. Normal loot.
*Nastor is rather impressed with Kazuma's tactical efficiency; gain a Contact in Axel's Adventurer Guild, and another one in the Belzerg Royal Guard.
*Initiate Quest, <Age of Glory> for 5,000 EXP and 150,000 Eris.

[ ] Youth & Trickery - Kazuma has some stellar ideas for slaying the Lieutenant personally. Kazuma is confident the odds are 90%/10% that he'll be able to kill the Lieutenant in solo combat and do it on the open battlefield for everyone to see, with minimal complication. Those odds calculations take into account the existence of Misfortune.

The sight of a dangerous opponent being slain by a single boy who barely wears armor is going to send the enemy into disarray, and bolster the adventurers' morale.

Some of Kazuma's planned tactics/tricks are audacious, incredibly bold, and some of them, inhumane as defined by the Geneva Convention. He is going to strike respect, awe, and fear into the hearts of ally and enemy alike; mostly the latter.

Kazuma's rational side would actually prefer not to do this, due to his prudence. A pessimistic 10% chance of failure added due to Misfortune is a chance nonetheless. If he wins, Kazuma will feel vindicated and badass, but he won't let the victory get too much to his head and won't become too reckless.

Besides, with Subaru and Aqua, death isn't a major concern.

*Gain nickname, "Kazuma the Demon."
*Kazuma feels a sense of badassery at having soloed the boss enemy.
*Maximum personal EXP gain; Aqua and Subaru also get a decent share. You get to loot the Lieutenant's corpse in addition to the sloppy leftovers of the Demon Army.
*The Demon Lieutenant stands so little chance against this brutal option that if PETA ever hears of this, they will arrest you for animal abuse.
*Initiate Quest, <Age of Trickery> for 9,000 EXP, and 250,000 Eris.

[ ] Write-in. Other paths exist.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Opposition

The outpost wasn't exactly the palisade-ensconced tent field that Kazuma expected.

It was actual stone and mortar undergoing a slow but steady construction, accelerated with magic. A handful of telekines and geomancers using their gifts in order to assemble the wall at a rate at least four times as fast than if there'd been a normal construction team. It was actually kind of interesting to watch as one mage shaped the inert earth into a large block, another one greased it with some kind of glue spell, and the next one Wingardum Leviosa'd it into place.

It was built strategically, on the very highest point of a hill surrounded on both sides by the growing, steep rockfaces of the nearby mountains. A flanking attack was impossible, and their primary supply line was surrounded by natural terrain that'd make a 'backstabbing' difficult. A straightforward frontal invasion was the only recourse.

Despite himself, Kazuma felt a mote of beating excitement. These monsters weren't idiotic.

That said, the excitement had a second twin side in trepidation. He'd never killed true sapient creatures, and the Giant Toads didn't count. It was enough to put a stopper on his joy, but not even close enough to cork a tenth of his determination.

Despite the common myth, the Demon King Army wasn't actually all-demonic. It was a rather cosmopolitan organization, with members ranging from goblins, ogres, renegade humans, undead, and actual demons who'd been summoned and hired; such as the ones producing the wall of the fortress ahead right now. It showed from a distance away, with skeleton archers and hobgoblin patrols on the empty field between them and their target. Because the enemy cut down most of the trees, they'd have an entire two minutes of advance warning before Axel's adventurers came into combat range.

When Nastor offered for Kazuma's party to spearhead the advance, the boy disagreed vehemently and offered instead to take backline support and magic artillery, as well as tactical support. Nastor wasn't convinced at first, but then Kazuma offered in-depth argumentation of why the choice was better, Nastor seemed to rethink his position and agree. That he was so friendly nonetheless was slightly disturbing, especially with the Brand of the Wretched supposed to make him dislike Kazuma as much as possible.

Nonetheless, they used Apparate in order to cross two-thirds of the distance in large groups, then walked the rest of the way, when Kazuma offered they use the nearby forest in order to conceal their advance, explaining the benefits of guerilla warfare to Nastor, who readily agreed to the proposal.

There wasn't much conversation as they walked, but Kazuma kept catching satisfied glances from Kyouya. Was the man happy that Kazuma managed to keep Aqua from the front lines?

The Goddess herself appeared to have mostly recovered from her state. She complained of dizziness and sickness every now and then but didn't seem to be impacted too much, as predicted.

"Subaru, anything we should expect ahead of us?" Kazuma asked curiously, while the archers and mages behind them in the bush line prepared themselves.

"I don't know," the boy admitted frankly. "This is the first time I'm having this day."

Depending on how Subaru's Return by Death actually worked on a mechanical level, that was either excellent news, meaning that Subaru wouldn't experience any death, or it meant Kazuma lived in a throwaway timeline and he was about to have a very bad time. Could the latter actually happen with Subaru's power?

There was no way to test it safely, but Kazuma had an idea.

"Make a checkpoint here," Kazuma ordered. Subaru nodded, closed his eyes, and focused. A moment later, he opened them with a frown and said, "They have a Lieutenant of some kind; an Archdevil. He's vulnerable to Exorcism but can Counterspell it. He's either an Arch Wizard or something similar."

"You heard the man, Aqua," Kazuma said to the Goddess, who smiled at him and nodded. There was eagerness in her look; because they'd be slaying an Archdevil? "I'll go inform Nastor so we can get the other Priests ready."

Kazuma trudged off. What the adventurers prepared wasn't really a camp, but more of short-term triage and fallback point behind heavy foliage and stone. It had some rudimentary traps and fortifications that Kazuma advised they make in case the enemy chased them, so they'd have time to evacuate the injured.

Nastor - and virtually everyone else - were amazed when Kazuma started to go off on the potentials of the environment without even taking a breath, explaining how to turn branches and rocks into deadly slings that could kill a man when he came into range, or how punji stick traps worked. Naturally, in this dangerous environment, Kazuma moved carefully and attentively; the Affliction of Misfortune would do its damndest to ensure his own weapon stabbed him in the back if he wasn't cautious.

"Nastor!" Kazuma yelled, approaching. The old man was conferring with Kyouya, who'd left his party elsewhere. The man and boy turned to regard Kazuma as he approached.

"It's Kazuma," Kyouya said, gulping. He seemed to be subtly intimidated, and even a little accusatory as if Kazuma was a demon, "Do you have any new defensive ideas? Have you figured out how to make wooden bear-traps?"

There was a lot of merit to that idea, but unfortunately, it was impossible in the way that Kyouya presented it. Perhaps in the future, once Kazuma's crafting and magical skills were more advanced, but not right now.

"Making wooden bear-traps is impossible without a mechanically elastic material," Kazuma countered informatively, going on, "It needs pressure application to release an element that holds back an elastic element with potential energy that'll clamp down the bear-trap's teeth on the victim's appendage. Unfortunately, wood tends to crack and splinter under immense force as its tensile and compressive strength are poor. Therefore, no: wooden bear-traps are a fever dream, barring the application of magic. It's a nice idea, though. I'll make sure to work on it in the future."

Kyouya shuddered as if reviled by the concept of giving the monster in front of him more ideas.

Kazuma looked at Nastor, who unlike Kyouya, seemed to like the idea as much if not more than Kazuma himself. "Anyway, I just came here to inform you we'll be facing a Lieutenant of some kind: an Arch Wizard Arch-Devil. I suggest getting the Priests ready to cast Exorcism on-sight."

Nastor nodded his head. "That Natsuki boy? He's worth his own weight in gold."

"Indeed. I'll see you later," Kazuma said, before returning to the attack line.

The preparations before the strike took another five or so minutes. People needed to get themselves in order, prepare their potion bandoliers, and finish suiting up their armor. A scant couple of cavalry units needed to mount their steeds and cover them in their own armor, and obviously, the news of their new tactic against the Lieutenant had yet to reach the Priests and Archpriests in their ranks.

Within five minutes, all of that was done. Kazuma stood at the aegis of the backline parties, wondering if he should change tactics last-minute.

Subaru's description of the enemy was rather in-depth, marking critical positions, but also outlining the profile of the Demon Lieutenant guarding the outpost. There was some obvious merit in either bombarding the poorly-defended locations to advance the overall battle in their favor, or attacking the Lieutenant in solo combat. According to Subaru, Kazuma matched him in physical statistics, and was only slightly worse in magical ones. That wasn't a big issue in Kazuma's mind, as he possessed an entire arsenal of creative options; he asked Subaru about certain hypotheticals and received mostly positive answers, so Kazuma's confidence grew.

If he wanted to, he could definitely solo the Demon King Lieutenant.

Kazuma was reminded of his Minecraft Manhunt days. It had been lax back then, as he was but a young boy, but it was that game that taught him his signature brand of trickster game exploitation, rule abuse, and cleverness. Youth and trickery.

There was no greater feeling than using a minecart with a block of TNT strategically placed in advance at an obscure, invisible location to destroy your enemies. Kazuma yearned to feel that way again, but he understood the value of the other approach: to be a strategist; to fight an army, rather than a demigod.

It was a difficult choice, but he couldn't make it on time. Nastor declared their advance, and the ranks of spearhead adventurers ran forward - primarily Kyouya and a set of independents, Nastor included. Kazuma and the other support parties stayed back for five seconds, then ran forward after them under the protection of shielding magic. The archer parties would stay back for another ten and do the same.

The enemy detected them at once. The outpost's gate opened, enemy combatants pouring out en masse, while the skeleton archers on the wall started getting into a surprisingly intelligent formation.

The enemy mages ceased their creation of the wall, some of them retreating, while others cast magic that caused tree-like spurs to grow out of the earth; a jury-rigged anti-cavalry palisade of some kind. Only mildly useful against adventurers.

Unfortunately, Kazuma's Advanced Magic wasn't upgraded yet, and its range was poor. He'd need to get at least a hundred meters deep into the enemy's own firing range if he was to release Inferno, or on the very edge of their firing range if he was to release Tornado. He'd support the spearhead until they reached the outpost itself, he decided.

And on the wall, a man in a dark helmet and golden coat emerged, watching them attentively. Kazuma observed him for a moment, then glanced at Subaru.

The boy nodded, and Kazuma looked back up.

This is the one.

---

The last round's winners are Disagree (Rihaku) and Concurrency.

What's the major plan when fighting the Demon Army Lieutenant?

All that Subaru knows is that it's a humanoid in dark, runic armor surrounded by a swaying golden robe and wielding a staff in one hand, a spear in the other. The horns on his head and vulnerability to Exorcism suggest he is a Demon, as does the alternate timeline's Aqua who said that she could smell it. He can Counterspell an Exorcism spell, but he can't do it to several spells at once.

[ ] Just Kill Him - Via concentrated tactical maneuvering, ensure the Priests and Archpriests are in a prime position to mass-fire Exorcisms as soon as the bastard gets in range. Since the Demon King's Lieutenant is fated to be Tired due to Concurrency, this all but ensures that he will perish.

While that happens, Kazuma strategically bombards enemy positions with Advanced Magic, shattering the enemy army in the most efficient possible way. He shields the adventurers from enemy archers and approaching combat platoons in this way; save for the Priests, he personally resolves 50% of the fighting.

*Gain nickname, "Kazuma the Strategist."
*Kazuma feels a sense of pride and accomplishment at the swiftness of the enemy's defeat.
*Minimal personal EXP gain, since the Priests/Aqua get the majority contribution share of EXP from the Lieutenant's defeat. Normal loot.
*Nastor is rather impressed with Kazuma's tactical efficiency; gain a Contact in Axel's Adventurer Guild, and another one in the Belzerg Royal Guard.
*Initiate Quest, <Age of Glory> for 5,000 EXP and 150,000 Eris.

[ ] Youth & Trickery - Kazuma has some stellar ideas for slaying the Lieutenant personally. Kazuma is confident the odds are 90%/10% that he'll be able to kill the Lieutenant in solo combat and do it on the open battlefield for everyone to see, with minimal complication. Those odds calculations take into account the existence of Misfortune.

The sight of a dangerous opponent being slain by a single boy who barely wears armor is going to send the enemy into disarray, and bolster the adventurers' morale.

Some of Kazuma's planned tactics/tricks are audacious, incredibly bold, and some of them, inhumane as defined by the Geneva Convention. He is going to strike respect, awe, and fear into the hearts of ally and enemy alike; mostly the latter.

Kazuma's rational side would actually prefer not to do this, due to his prudence. A pessimistic 10% chance of failure added due to Misfortune is a chance nonetheless. If he wins, Kazuma will feel vindicated and badass, but he won't let the victory get too much to his head and won't become too reckless.

Besides, with Subaru and Aqua, death isn't a major concern.

*Gain nickname, "Kazuma the Demon."
*Kazuma feels a sense of badassery at having soloed the boss enemy.
*Maximum personal EXP gain; Aqua and Subaru also get a decent share. You get to loot the Lieutenant's corpse in addition to the sloppy leftovers of the Demon Army.
*The Demon Lieutenant stands so little chance against this brutal option that if PETA ever hears of this, they will arrest you for animal abuse.
*Initiate Quest, <Age of Trickery> for 9,000 EXP, and 250,000 Eris.

[ ] Write-in. Other paths exist.
Wordcount: 2200
 
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runeblue360 said:
It could be that he split his Deathly Star beams to target the randoms surrounding the Armament so he'd deploy his Pressure to defend them before immediately curving them all back to Procyon. That seems unlikely though.
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Maybe he tried to bait out Shroud and then just Nightmare Flight out as it forms? Although, in that case, Procyon would just destroy Walls and stuff.
 
Wolfy said:
Letrizia is still a valid source of Armament info and Procyon still broadcasts his intentions.
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Broadcasting capabilities is not the same as broadcasting intentions. Stealth and disguise are forbidden dreams, but deception is still possible.
 
Due to its Curse, Procyon is absolutely incapable of any form of guile in combat and relies on clean execution of classical techniques.
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Yeah.

So we could try baiting his Shroud. We could also try baiting out his Ultimate, in case he doesn't know that we can just tank it. It would depend on how familiar Procyon is with Cursebearers. He is much younger than Verse and stuff, so he might be unaware of Cursebearers being immune to mental attacks.
 
The Plenary does broadcast any intention which is considered part of "the truth of your essential nature," which includes whatever you are focused on at the time. Cursebearers can mitigate this, of course.
 
Meanwhile... In The Depths of the Cosmic Plane of Discord (Wordcount: #1415) (I'd like to thank Gabriel for this collab.)

Birdsie sighed profoundly. He laid both of his ruffled wings flatly against his beak and rubbed the space between his eyes. "Oh, man, did you see his reaction to the Konosuba Subquest?" he asked. "The update is hyped, but we are so fucked. We're not gonna go far unless we spend Defensive Wish."

"No, no, no," Wolfy sagely insisted, canine hand down on Birdsie's shoulder. "We'll be fine. Believe it."

"You're the guy who wanted to vote Follow Through," Birdsie repelled with lidded gaze, but Wolfy merely smiled enigmatically. "Forgive me if that doesn't exactly inspire confidence in me."

"Oh la-di-da," Sharkey's sarcastic drawl betrayed by his grin, as he counted the fat stack of celestial Rihakubucks in his hands. "Too highbrow to inject Krokodil into your nutsack are you? Too arrogant to join the Dying Gang and sell your vote?"

"You should write about that in your newspaper," Birdsie offered through grit teeth.

Sharkey laughed, a sonorous and melodic, but somehow grumbled tone. "Maybe I will! I deal with what sells, little avian. If your suffering is the product that people desire, they shall have it."

Birdsie died a little inside. He suddenly missed Bard. Their rivalry was like a vitalizing shot of caffeine in the morning; it brought out the best parts of Birdsie's spirit to the forefront: the soul of escalation, that desire to stay uncontested and conquer the foe in a direct clash of wills. It was something beautiful.

But now? There was no such thing. Only death, and watching as Rihaku wrote the next update with bated breath.

Rune spoke up, suddenly, a voice of excitement in a sea of trepidation, "Okay, let's take bets. What conditions do we get?"

"Minus five Rank," Wolfy offered instantly. Wasn't he the one who said they'd be fine? This seemed ominous.

Despite himself, Birdsie threw in his vote, "Shattered Spirit, minus five Rank, and a random lung injury."

"I bet five Rihakubux we'll lose a limb."

"Oh, yeah," Birdsie agreed. "That's a foregone conclusion. A missing appendage is assured."

"Bye-bye, penis," Gabriel sang.

Wolfy snickered to himself. "Hunger loses his dick, Gisena makes sad Gisena noises."

Rihaku spoke up from where he was designing the update, the voice of a sage wise beyond his years, and whose years were nonetheless worth eons more than the meager divine spirits who lounged in his realm for entertainment and competition. "Cutting Through works against many foes. Not this one." Rihaku smiled enigmatically.

Birdsie sighed again, and looked across the Realm. Zampano was putting together some non-Euclidean math tables for predicting the re-roll results, several admirers were stuck in wide-eyed observation of his Harrihaku Potter omake stand, including Sara, and Shard was voting Shard.

He'd offered Rihaku to write a million-word omake but his offer was refused. He offered to include a link to AST in his signature and start running three, simultaneous quests to shamelessly advertise, but was refused. He offered to do both, but Rihaku, once again, simply smiled and said the time to beg had passed.

Nonetheless, Birdsie felt an inimitable vigor within himself. He possessed the Soul Evocation of the Creator. He'd learned to specialize in writing over the course of his life, but nothing was truly beyond his touch: he'd created paintings, music, and things more abstract still. He created the collaborative Cardinal Geometer project as one of his countless omake techniques. He'd created video games, quests, and movies once upon a time. Recently, he finished an anime opening and could now proudly add it to his portfolio.

While the meager writers beneath him struggled to complete NaNoWriMo and jot down fifty-thousand words in a month, he could achieve that same quantity in a day if he really meant it; a week if he wrote casually. He'd written one of the best, critically acclaimed Worm fanfiction pieces on Spacebattles, measuring over a million words in length, in a single year. It was known for its superlative quality, impossible frequency of updates (one per day on average,) and canonical accuracy; and he was slowed down by a student onto whom he was passing on his art while he did that.

It's because that was Birdsie's Way. There would be nothing less than True Creation, even if limited by the vista of experience. A Creator did not surrender to limits, but forced his Creativity to push through. He was the Creator's soul. It was his Way to Write Through.

"Gabriel," Birdsie said somberly.

His friend and once-student looked up at him. "Hm?"

"I need you to do something for me - you're a music specialist. Here's the plan..." Birdsie whispered in his student's ear.

Gabriel nodded with a smile and ran off to prepare the instruments. In the meantime, Birdsie turned around to face the entire thread, and yelled, "Everyone! We can still turn this around if we get enough Arete, I'm sure of it, but we need to do it together! Sing with me!"

Ladies and gentlemen... I am happy to announce today, Rihakuverse: The Musical! Let us start with the first song on the album, "The Rihaku Thread," based on this gem.

[Rihaku]
(All aboard! All aboard!
Votes please, votes
Well, you voting?)

[Chorus of Voters]
It's a magic carpet on a rail

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Never takes a rest

[Chorus of Votes]
Questing through the Curses and the pain
You can vote for free and join the fun (You can vote for free!)

[Chorus of Voters]
If you just cast a vote!
Cause that's the way things happen
On the Ri-ha… ku Thread!

[Rihaku]
You bet!

[Chorus of Voters]
Wooo wooo the update blows
That's the sound of our screaming
Ding ding the alert will ping

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Golly look at it go!

[Chorus of Voters]
You wonder if Hung'r stays alive
Anybody's guess

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Cause that's the way things happen
On the Ri-ha… ku Thread!

[Chorus of Voters]-----------------------------------[Rihaku]
When we get there we'll scream "No!"--------(Yeah)
We'll arrive with a

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Bang bang bang

[Chorus of Voters]
Boom boom boom
Discussing all the way!

[Rihaku]
It's a boo-hoo with a stunning prose
That rivals all the best
But you won't ever see it advertised
It's a simple fact we stay on track
Though sometimes we digress
But that can only happen on the Rihaku Thread!

[Chorus of Voters]
Help! Help! The crying lungs

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
That's the sound of His breathing

[Chorus of Voters]
Clang clang the swords will bang
What a wonderful show!
With a comfy seat

[RIhaku and Chorus of Voters]
And lots to read

[Chorus of Voters]
Boy, it's just the best!
Wish it wouldn't ever have to end

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
With a little luck we'll stay alive

[Chorus of Voters]
There's some need to stress

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Cause that's the way things happen
On the Ri-Ha… Ku Thread!

[Rihaku]
Lines are written far across the forum
You're not dreaming
May I present the AST Quest!
If it's smiles you expect to read
You surely haven't guessed
They all happen down at the other end

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
With a little luck we'll stay alive
There's lots of need to stress
Cause that's the way things happen
On the Ri-Ha… Ku Thread!

[Chorus of Voters]
Boo-hoo the voters cry

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
That's the sound of salty whining

[Chorus of Voters]
Ding ding the alert will ping
Golly look at it go!
If you want to join us vote along

[Rihaku]
I'll check the daily tally

[melody]

[Chorus of Voters]
Cause that's the way things happen
On the Ri-Ha… Ku Thread!
When we get there we'll scream "No!" (Yeah!)
We'll arrive with a

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Bang bang bang

[Chorus of Voters]
Boom boom boom
Discussing all the way
If you want to join us vote along

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
You can be our guest

[Chorus of Voters]
Cause that's the way things happen
On the

[Rihaku and Chorus of Voters]
Thousand… pages...
in the
Rihaku…
Thread!

[Rihaku]
(Next stop, Your Votes Were Stupid
Armament Avenue...
Next stop, Your Votes Were Stupid
Armament Avenue...
Ahh ahhh ahh that is not an omake, young man
Young man, that is not an omake
Cast your votes, please
Cast your votes.)
 
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Haaa, it's finally almost here.

Don't know about you guys, but I always got quite nervous before giving a presentation in front of class back in school. This weight is oddly reminiscent of that time! I'll be sorely tempted to skip to the end and read backwards, but I think I can avoid such a fate now that I've identified it lurking in the shadows.

I didn't really appreciate how screwed we were going into the Van fight, so it was much like landing a crazy Daredevil esque jump and looking back at the canyon and going, what the hell just happened? Looking over the edge right now, fully informed, and boy what a drop it is folks. Here's to hoping we put on a good show!

Good luck Hunger!
 
Hirorubie said:
Don't know about you guys, but I always got quite nervous before giving a presentation in front of class back in school.
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omg this is exactly how i felt before the last threadmark dropped. At this point it's like being in the seat of a rollercoaster and helpless to change direction. We're cruisin for a bruisin, but there's no pressure to do anything about it anymore.

I have a lot of complicated feelings about what the fallout from this fight will be like among the player base, but the melodrama of the last update has worked its way out of my system. Hope everybody enjoys the ride!
 
Hunger studying the blade. featuring an anachronistic rotspawn I don't remember any other possibly-human-sized mooks which aren't people, and not featuring Procyon because I doubt a battle with them would be loopable.
The dark-purple blade-winds are (my guess without checking for the right color for)ruin-but-not-Cut-Through because praxis blue on praxis blue would've been an indecipherable mess, and the bluer one is the color of Evening Sky for more variety.
 
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JOEbob said:
Hunger studying the blade. featuring an anachronistic rotspawn I don't remember any other possibly-human-sized mooks which aren't people, and not featuring Procyon because I doubt a battle with them would be loopable.
The dark-purple blade-winds are (my guess without checking for the right color for)ruin-but-not-Cut-Through because praxis blue on praxis blue would've been an indecipherable mess, and the bluer one is the color of Evening Sky for more variety.
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Ahhh, as I work on the opening, other parts of the studio feverishly operate to continue work on the episodes of the anime itself! Good work! I especially like the part where Hunger smoothly defeats that spawn of Nurgle.
 
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