We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
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- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
C: TBH we're just waiting for this to turn into Spain vs the World(except America) and for Spain to somehow win.
A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES
- Thread starter bluepencil
- Start date
69.1 WAR! - Enemy Coastal Raid on the Balearic Islands
All right.So it's ADOBO and ADOBE.
I pity the foo' that isn't toting Battleship thickness of armor that comes under their combined crosshairs.
Where are we anyway?>> CA ADOBE>> Northwest just off the coast of Isla Mallorca.
Okay.Time is just around 1 PM. Skies are overcast but should not impact visibility too much.
Just patrol close to the island's port approach and you should meet the enemy eventually.
... at some point.
69.2 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Enemy Coastal Raid on the Balearic Islands
THEY STOOD US UP!>> CA ADOBE> It was a raid of 3 Destroyers though.
>> CA ADOBE> We wouldn't be able to catch them anyway.
>> CA ADOBO> I don't like Destroyers. They are mean. And spit at you.
So that's where they had gone to.While we were going back and forth in front of Palma they actually went in deep into port and went back and forth along the beach.
Did they manage to shell anything?
View attachment 3267>> CA ADOBE> That's the beachfront.
>> CA ADOBE> ... in other times I would have been suspicious this was an attempt to pick up chicks or contraband.
>> CA ADOBO> They got really lost and had to ask for directions?
I can only hope Austria-Hungary manages to maintain this level of competence.>> CA ADOBO> You can't go lower than Italy.
Russia.>> CA ADOBO> ... Boss, when you're right, you're right.
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70.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - October 1910
Gardemmet.You bet your arse we need emergency construction.
AAAAAHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Aaah...
Okay. Fine.At least we have enough light craft to fulfill all Patrol Requirements, we have two active BBs, we are blockading the enemy (but which one?) ... our colonies are decently protected.
Let's go and get some actual battlefield intel.
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70.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - October 1910
Free VP keep it coming.
Every little bit helps, since I think they built more SSC than us anyway.
It would be great if ally numbers actually factored your allies in the amount of ships you need to create a blockade instead of having to rely on your own combined tonnage.
Here we go.
70.3 WAR! - Raider Intercept in the Mediterranean
We join the hunt.
Oh hey ADOBE.Still stuck at 21 knots max speed?
>> CA ADOBE> There's a window of opportunity for knocking down a Light Cruiser before it can build the range.
>> CA ADOBE> As long as it's like 24 knots vs 21 knots.
>> CA ADOBE> It's an Armored Cruiser.
>> CA ADOBE> It's morning, so speed or losing visibility is not going to be a problem.
But Italian or Austria-Hungarian?
It's a VETTOR PISANI.>> CA ADOBE> Easy peasy.
CA ADONTBE already proved they're not a big threat, our 8" quality 0 guns are about equal to their 10" quality -1 guns.
What.
>> CA ADOBE> What.
WHAT!
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
C: Crits, I guess?
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
The ghosts of Jutland are dissatisfied with your sacrifices of late, it seems.
>> CA ADOBE> What.
- Location
- Wörms, the half continent
not Adobe! For the love of the lord, not Adobe!
70.4 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Raider Intercept in the Mediterranean
(table flip) ︵ ┻━┻ What bullshit is this?!
CA ADOBE was not built in Britain. CA ADOBE was built in 1899 as part of our Legacy Fleet.We are not supposed to have that 'hidden flaw' because then CA ADOBO and BB BARACO should have sunk several times over by now!
Our metal is strong!>> CA ADOBE> What just happened?
... Sweet Baby Jesus seriously?
The first shot. One shot.
I've heard of Golden BBs before but this ridiculous!>> CA ADOBE> This is a miracle. Literally a miracle.
>> CA ADOBE> Did the Pope bless their shells or something?
>> CA ADOBE> Is my armor made out of vampires?
ADOBE has a 1.5" turret top that should impenetrable at this short range!>> CA ADOBE> For this shot to work, it has to have gone straight down the barrel while my crew had the breech open to load powder for my own shot.
>> CA ADOBE> I can't even be mad about this VETTOR PISANI having killed me, because this is a stupid one in a billion shot that NO ONE can be responsible for.
I'm much the same way. I feel dull and empty.It's like getting mad at a natural disaster.
>> CA ADOBE> Deus literally Vult.
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We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
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- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
M: Even that shouldn't have worked. The Vettor Pisani's shells are a larger caliber than an Adobo's.
70.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - November 1910
Looks like the VETTOR PISANI turned around anyway after sinking the ADOBE.>> CA ADOBE> On that note... when are you going to incarnate me in a new hull? º
When we have the tech and budget for Battle Cruisers. Might take a while.
Why couldn't it have been ADOBO?
Sanity levels in the fleet going down... down.>> BB BARACO> Hey.
Hey what.>> BB BARACO> ...
Let's put FURIOSA back on Active Fleet in case someone tries anything in the Philippines.
Let the month turn.-----------------------------------------
slybrarian
Creature of Fable
- Location
- A Far and Sunless Land
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The fact that you have all these destroyers futzing around Northern Europe continues to amuse me. What are Italy and Austria-Hungary going to do, sail through Suez and go the long way around? Cruise up the Danube and portage over to the Rhein?
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
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- New England
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- Plural
C: Judging by past encounters? Yes.
70.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - November 1910
Thank you, Army.Thank you.
Our luck might not be all bad after all.
I thought this was engine technology.
Economizing the use of exhaust gases to heat air is good for a variety of purposes.
Whuh, that's lucky.
Earning back what we spent slowly but surely.Why can't we put DDs on Raiding duty anyway?
They apparently can do Coastal Raids.
Carry me!
All right.We can do this.
No pressure.
- Pronouns
- His
71.1 WAR! - Cruiser Battle off Syracuse
>> CA ADOBO> I AM HERE!
ALL THE PRESSURE!
Fine. Let's make do.ADOBO, where's the enemy?
I permit maximum aggression.
>> CA ADOBO> It's a bunch of DDs due north of my position.
Well there ought to be a CL somewhere or it's leading us to the main enemy formation with a Battle Cruiser.Be careful and be ready to turn around at max speed.
>> CA ADOBO> Chasing...
>> CA ADOBO> Huff. Huff... I hate...
>> CA ADOBO> Destroyers.
Tch.This is fine too.
A draw is good enough at this point. We're all just probing for intel.
WHAT?!
- Location
- Not the asylum anymore
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Man, you have had ALL the bad luck recently, haven't you?
HolyDragoon
Call Gespenst!
- Location
- Portugal
... why did SV stop giving me notifications.
Anyway, ouch and ouch.
Anyway, ouch and ouch.
warhammer651
The Festive Fortress is Unbreachable!
Trying to protect you from British Turret Syndrome, apparently it's contagious
71.2 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Cruiser Battle off Syracuse
>> CA ADOBO> I'm... alive?
>> CA ADOBO> I'M ALIVE!
Whew.You are a Legacy warship built in 1899 with no torpedo protection whatsoever.
(This war is being driven entirely by dumb luck.)
Also apparently now that Destroyers can perform Coastal Raids they also count as Cruisers in a Cruiser Battle as well.
What is this malarky!
So that's where you were hit.Nothing worthwhile to report in the track.
CA ADOBO followed north until losing sight of the enemy DD squadron at about 15:00, then turned away to exit the battle zone.
Considering how far ADOBO was from Spain, it's actually impressive how to get her back into the yard for repairs.A ship slowed down like that should have been a prime target.
The US probably provided escort after stopping in a neutral port to control flooding.Or failing that, BB BARACO and BB BARBARA distracting the rest of the enemy fleets while the ADOBO is towed back into Spanish waters.
It's not like it's the saga of the Zubian.
>> CA ADOBO> Or a prow hit that didn't knock out engine power.
>> CA ADOBO> But was it an Italian or Austria-Hungarian submarine?
>> CA ADONTBE> (softly) I would like to know that as well.
>> CA ADOBO> NGGYAAAHHH!
>> CA ADOBO> *leaps up and crashes into the ceiling*
>> CA ADOBO> *clings upside down with her fingers digging into the concrete*
>> CA ADOBO> WHERE DID YOU COME FROM AND WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT?!
>> CA ADONTBE> There are clues in metal... and also flesh.
>> CA ADONTBE> ** mysterious revving noises **
>> CA ADONTBE> Don't worry this time it will only be a visual inspection.
>> CA ADOBO> What do you mean THIS TIME?!
>> CA ADONTBE> (confused) Um, well... given your tendencies, it is inevitable you're going to find a wall... that won't crack no matter how hard you hit it with your face?
You court death so much it's a matter of time before you get engaged.
72.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy and Austria-Hungary - December 1910
We are being blockaded again.
Ugh.We have not been covering ourselves in glory.
If it wasn't for the Army we would be completely losing this war.
But we haven't done anything with Austria-Hungarian ships yet.>> CA ADONTBE> (softly) That you know of.
We must evolve from YEET into the enemy into LEEROY JENKINS.
Good, good, keep those incremental improvements coming.
WOHO HO HO!Now this is nice.
Battlecruiser caliber time?
- Location
- Not the asylum anymore
- Pronouns
- She/Her
So, assuming you win, what you hoping to get? AH doesn't have any colonies for you to seize. Meanwhile, I think Libya is still under Ottoman rule- same with the Dardanelles- while Eritrea and Italia Somalia or out of position for Spain or the US to properly administer. Sardinia, maybe?
Oh wait, do you have Equatorial Guinea? I think OTL, Spain had that before the 20th Century... maybe you had to sell it or something.
Oh wait, do you have Equatorial Guinea? I think OTL, Spain had that before the 20th Century... maybe you had to sell it or something.