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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

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66.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - August 1910
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    • Hm.
    How is this possible to be blockading each other at the same time?


    I mean, CA ADONTBE just finished sinking a VETTOR PISANI-class and that's 8000 tons of traumatized steel right there.
    ADONTBE is an Adobo-class and 12,000 tons.

    Italy doesn't have anything left in her weight class that isn't a Battleship.


    Also, all we have to do is to sit around the mouth of Gibraltar, while they have all the Cantrabrian Sea and the Bay of Biscay to manage.


    Wait a second...

    >> DD PLUTON 2> Sorry sir, ADONTBE is not available right now.




    Nice! At least I didn't have to pay a centimo on that.


    AHAHAHAHAHA.




    Economizer!
    Congress better not see this or they might reduce my budget again...

    An economizer is a heat exchanger that preheats the fluid coming into the boiler to reduce the needed input to get it to working temperature.

    What's the difference between that and a preheater then?

    A Preheater increases the temperature of combustion air, not cycling heat around to warm feed water.



    Very good.
    Cumbersome additions, but needs to be done.
     
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    • 66.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - August 191
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    • Hydraulic rammers?

    Oh no.


    The call is on!~​
    Their force is getting strong!~​
    They'll have to brave the weather!~​
    ​
    HYDRO Storm! Stand together!~​
    The storm will grow!~​
    Waters flow!~​
    HYDRO RAMMERS Go! ~​
    ​
    ​
    (heard from a distance)​
    (Richter Belmont) Hydro Storm! Hydro Storm!​
    (Dracula) DAMMIT, BELMONT!​
    (Dracula) You one-trick pony!​
    (Richter Belmont) HYDRO STOOORM!​


    Excellent.
    Managed to tag them before they could cause any more damage.



    Huh.
    I forgot about that one.



    With the speed of the wind!~
    Go!
    And strength like thunder!~

    GO!
     
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    • 67.1 WAR - Fleet Battle of the Balearic Islands
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    • >> CA ADOBE> Smoke on the horizon!
    >> CA ADOBE> Contact made with enemy fleet!

    >> BB BARBARA> Intel a shite?

    >> BB BARACO> Intel a shite.

    Well that was fast.


    ADOBE, what have you got?

    >> CA ADOBE> ... stuff.
    >> CA ADOBE> OKAY I ADMIT IT IT WAS LECHON. IT WAS ALL LECHON! SHE WAS SNEAKING CONTRABAND FROM FLORIDA!

    ADOBE, we have a duty free store.
    I mean the enemy.



    >> CA ADOBE> All of them, I guess.

    >> BB BARACO> Get the hell out of there ADOBE.



    >> BB BARACO> *blam* *blam* *blam*
    >> BB BARBARA> *blam* *blam* *blam*
    >> B ROMA> *blam* *blam* *blam*
    >> BB LEONARDO DA VINCI> *blam* *blam* *blam*

    >> CA ADOBE> * chews on fingernails *
    >> CA ADOBE> That all-out knuckle buster slugfighting...
    >> CA ADOBE> I'M SO JEALOUS!

    >> CA ADOBE> I am still an ADOBO-class after all.
    >> CA ADOBE> I also want to meaningfully contribute to this battle.

    You are a Heavy Cruiser, not a Battle Cruiser.
    12,000 tons is not enough tons to get that speed without sacrificing something else.

    If ever we build you into one you would just ram yourself into the enemy and sink in short order.

    >> CA ADOBE> A fast ship with secondaries-immune armor and torpedoes instead of main guns?
    >> CA ADOBE> A weapon to surpass Metal Gear.


    >> BB BARACO> COME BACK HERE!


    >> BB BARACO> NOT THIS TIME, YOU BASTARDS.
    >> BB BARACO> NOT THIS TIME.




    >> BB BARACO> Yes, that's right.
    >> BB BARACO> Shoot me in the face!

    >> BB BARACO> May I ask for one small favor?
    >> BB BARACO> Just go ahead and SHOOT ME IN THE FACE.

    >> BB BARACO> I would be ever so grateful if you would just approach
    >> BB BARACO> And SHOOT ME IN THE FACE.


    >> BB BARACO> No that's not right.



    >> BB BARACO> IT'S HIGH NOON.
    >> BB BARACO> THE WEATHER IS CLEAR.



    >> BB BARACO> IT'S A SHOWDOWN!!
    >> BB BARACO> WE THREE WON'T LET YOU GO!
    >> BB BARACO> THE RIDE OF THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY!

    >> CA ADOBE> Hey.


    >> BB BARBARA> (flips hair)
    >> BB BARBARA> Well it certainly can't be me.


    >> CA ADOBE> (grinding teeth) Eighties fashion are going to make a comeback any day now. Neon will always be king.
     
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    • 67.2 WAR - Fleet Battle of the Balearic Islands
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    • >> CA ADOBE> Wait, did you just drive-by sink a Destroyer?


    A BARACO has

    six 12-inch guns, all of them can fire broadside
    six 8-inch guns, three per broadside
    eight 5-inch guns, four per broadside

    Anything with thin armor is just going to get wiped.


    >> CA ADOBO> Hesus Maryoseph, you are more suited for independent cruising than actual Cruisers.
    >> CA ADOBO> Do you even need screening forces?

    >> BB BARACO> Well I wouldn't say no to someone wanting to eat a torpedo for me.
    >> BB BARACO> It's the only thing I have to be afraid of because I was built before Torpedo Protection was a thing.



    >> BB BARACO> AAAH YOU FUCKS.
    >> BB BARACO> WHY ARE YOU SO FAAAAAST!

    I probably should consider a rebuild sometime soon.


    >> BB BARACO> Ouch!
    >> BB BARACO> I said shoot me in the face, not the tits!

    >> BB BARBARA> Wait that B ROMA seems to have slowed down.

    >> BB BARBARA> Looks like it.
    >> BB BARBARA> It's like that old story about 'not needing to be faster than the bear, only faster than whoever's with you?'

    >> BB BARACO> *phwongg*

    >> BB BARACO> (slowly tilts back)
    >> BB BARACO> You shot me in the forehead. Better.


    >> BB BARBARA> Enemy Battleship ROMA has been immobilized.

    This is literal pointblank range and you all have 12-inch guns.
    How are we doing at this knuckle bout no armor fight?


    >> BB BARACO> Nothing to worry about.

    Flotation and flooding damage is always something to worry about!
     
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    • 67.3 WAR - Fleet Battle of the Balearic Islands
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    • >> BB BARACO> Don't worry about it.
    >> BB BARACO> It only has two guns it can do anything with.



    >> BB BARACO> Also, it's on fire.









    ... !

    >> BB BARACO> uh...


    >> BB BARACO> This is fine.


    THIS IS NOT FINE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!



    *B ROMA class is sinking.

    >> BB BARACO> It is done.

    >> BB BARBARA> That sure unexpectedly took a lot of work.

    >> BB BARACO> I wonder why twelve twelve-inch guns against eight and a half inches of belt armor take a long time but two twelve inches against twelve inches of belt gets damage so fast.



    >> BB BARACO> This is actually your fault for not paying attention, I got out of formation because you were distracting me.

    ... enough of your sass and get back to formation before something else happens to you.



    >> BB BARBARA> That's about it, I think.

    >> CA ADOBE> Yeah those other botes well and truly buggered off by now, I think.



    >> BB BARACO> Also, it's night. I feel sleepy.



    HOLY SHIT DO NOT FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW BARACO.

    >> BB BARACO> See no flooding damage
    >> BB BARACO> THis is fiineeeeee~



    >> BB BARACO> (faceplants) *sploot!*

    >> BB BARBARA> I think she has a concussion or something.

    >> CA ADOBE> Maybe we should hit her head again so she gets back her memory.
    >> CA ADOBE> I mean... clearly being hit is her power up.

    Someone take this girl and put her in the drunk tank infirmary while damage control is working.

    And someone take ADOBE and dunk her in the tanks until she's drunk.


    >> CA ADOBE> Mmm. Bunker oil.
    >> CA ADOBE> Joke's on you, it's like coffee to me.
     
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    • So, you finally got a serious fleet battle where things sunk, instead of bravely running away. The Italian navy will not be amused.
     
    Interesting to note that Baraco currently has no flooding, despite all that flotation damage.
     
    67.3 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Fleet Battle of the Balearic Islands
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    • Wow that was dangerous.

    >> BB BARACO> Look, the only way I can get these cowards to stand and fight is to give them some hope of winning, a'ight?

    Not a'ight.
    Are you actually some sort of masochist?

    >> BB BARACO> No.
    >> BB BARACO> I just know I'm tough, all right?

    More like lucky.

    >> BB BARACO> That is also a useful quality in battle.


    Hmm. Fine, let's move on.
    A simple track.

    1) Contact was made at about 10:00.
    2) There was a short broadside exchange and the enemy turned away to flee at about 11:00.
    3) What followed was an inconclusive chase with Battlefleet BARACO starting to catch up at about 12:30.
    3.1) An Italian Destroyer was shortly sunk around that time as well as the Battle Division passed by.

    4) Long range fire eventually had the B ROMA drop speed at about 13:00 hours.
    That hump in the track is where the fleet kept pounding away at it until 15:30.

    5) BARACO's DAMCON worked hard to pump out flooding and by 17:00 she was mostly high and dry in the water again.
    6) With the enemy nowhere to be found and nightfall, the fleet turned home.




    >> BB BARACO> Oh CA ADONTBE sinks a Cruiser and it's a Major Victory, but we sink a Battleship and it's just a Minor one?
    >> BB BARACO> What is this unfairness.

    >> BB BARBARA> The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly apparently aren't as valuable as the Beauty.


    Maybe it's the proportion between the earned Victory Points from damage dealt?


    Yes.


    Wait is this the First Battle of the Balearic in the 20th Century?
    Yeah I think so.

    >> CA ADOBE> What do you call all those other Coastal Raids then?

    Pathetic.
     
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    • Battle of Balearic Islands: Battleships Baraco and Barbara Officially Become Known as the Bash Broads.

    (also Adobe has a crush.)
     
    Cat: That may have been a pre-dread your BBs sent to the bottom, but those ships are expensive and losing them had to hurt.
     
    68.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - September, October 1910
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    • (intel report: There are rumors of war weariness and protests in Italy)
    Yeah this war should be done sometime soon.

    If they approach with a peace feeler we'll probably accept it.


    Italy has barely any ships left afloat.
    Patrol Fulfillment is down to 7 light hulls.

    BB BARACO is in the yards but BARBARA and the two ADOBO-class should be able to handle anything that happens.


    BB BARACO-class is 17,900 tons but the BB BARBACOA DOBLE CARA-class is 18,700 tons - for only 800 tons more manages to add one more pair of 12-inch guns, for a full eight-gun broadside.


    ---------------



    Our cash flow is great for now and the Army's doing pretty aces all this while.
    Go ahead, knock yerself out.

    We can afford to halt construction on the BB BARBACOA DC if we need to stay in the black.
    There's no way she'll arrive in time to contribute to this war anyway.


    From where though?
    It's not like the Navy is able to do anything about the ships we si-...

    CA ADONTBE.
     
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    • >> CA ADOBO> So now we're at war with Italy and these new guys at the same time?
    >> CA ADOBO> Good.
    >> CA ADOBO> I was hoping for a fair fight.
     
    ERROR: Program SV.exe has developed an error in thread:0X000053564F370046(label: bluepencil)
    Abort, Retry, Fail?
     
    In universe, Spain seemed to have Italy on the ropes before AH jumped in. Should the war end in a stalemate or even loss, I could see a "stolen victory" myth popping up.
     
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