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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

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55.2 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Raider Intercept in the Mediterranean
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    • Well that was a foregone conclusion.


    It... didn't even take an hour.

    >> CA ADOBO> This was too easy. It's not even a cakewalk.
    >> CA ADOBO> Maybe an ice cream walk?
    >> CA ADOBO> Letting it go for too long just gets you tears and disappointment.



    Shite. This one battle completely makes up for all commerce raiding.
    We may be better off not putting any Raiders in the water after all.

    Morale impact.
    Just as you suffer both economic and political damage for not being able to protect your traders, this would also impose hardship on your enemy.

    As the Japanese and the Germans learned so harshly in WW2, it doesn't matter how many warships you sink if your enemy could literally build more of them faster than you can sink them.


    >> CA FURIOSA> Who rules Bartertown?
     
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    • 56.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - February 1910
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    • Hmm. Nothing noteworthy from other navies.
    Although we suspiciously have a lot of intel on France these past few months.


    Ugh, as I expected.
    We need lots more light hulls in peacetime.


    Let's eat the damage and see what happens.









    Jesus Christ.

    Spanish Army best army.

    Wait... isn't France in between Spain and Italy?!
    Where and how are you even fighting this, Army?!


    Reverse Punic Wars?

    That... that makes a surprising lot of sense, actually.
    Though it doesn't actually answer my question about having to invade France.



    Oh look a distraction!
    Let's look at these bunch of cuties instead.


    Go away, Franco.
     
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    • bluepencil said:
    That... that makes a surprising lot of sense, actually.
    Though it doesn't actually answer my question about having to invade France.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    >>GENERAL> Please, Senor, we must beg the use of France's southern roads. It will only be for a short time. We will have crossed into Italy before you know it.
    >>DIPLOMAT> Monsieur, non...France is a neutral party in this war. We cannot be seen providing safe passage through our homeland to one side.
    >>GENERAL> But would you consider allowing it...in exchange for this basket of deep-fried churros?
    >>DIPLOMAT> *sweating* M-monsieur...
     
    if this game just ends up being a succession of Spanish-Italian wars, i shall be greatly amused.

    anyway, given it's a revolutionary in italy, it might be mr baldy. So all the more reason to lock him up.
     
    57.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - March 1910
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    • Which leads me to ask, how have we been destroying enemy submarines until now?

    We... haven't?
    We have just been relying on them being Italian getting lost and running aground somewhere.

    >> CA ADOBO> With fisticuffs!

    I'm sure you'd try.



    That works so much better.






    That's a lot of sunk merchant marine capacity, we must avenge!




    Thank you.


    AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!
     
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    • Damnit! I didn't realize that. Also, I would prefer this more (explainer here) instead. But that's just me(see my profile).
     
    58.1 WAR! - Coastal Raid on Italy
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    • It's ADOBE.

    Whew.

    The sane one of the ADOBO twins.
    Relatively.

    >> CA ADOBE> What do you mean relatively?!
    >> CA ADOBE> I'm the sanest on in the fleet!
    >> CA ADOBE> (And that happens to include even the Grand Admiral)


    Ugh. Sink any ship.
    Simple enough.

    But we have to find them first.



    >> CA ADOBE> Ship spotted!


    We started this at 6:00 AM and now it's 12 NN.

    >> CA ADOBE> Six hours is not time wasted.



    >> CA ADOBE> Ah, it's a Trader.
    >> CA ADOBE> Nothing personal, just business.


    >> CA ADOBE> (blammitly blam blam)
    >> CA ADOBE> I hope you bought insurance.


    >> CA ADOBE> Mission Accomplished.


    That's good enough.
    GTFO back here.

    >> CA ADOBE> That was a little too easy, but okay.


    Wait, what's that?
     
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    • >> CA ADOBE> My knife and I agree that I'm perfectly sane.
    >> CA ADOBE> If you want to argue when outvoted you'll have to take it up with her.
    >> CA ADOBE> But I do warn you she can have a very sharp attitude.
    >> CA ADOBE> And she will ensure you get the point.
    >> CA ADOBO> I can't believe you groaned at my punch joke and you're out here with this material.
    >> CA ADOBE> ...
    >> CA ADOBO> ...
    >> CA ADOBE> Prick.
    >> CA ADOBO> ADKAFKHSGHAHTSGḀ̸̖̌H̷͖̿͛̌́́̄R̷̤̙͓͚̺͂̉̈́͝A̶̢͇̥̟̝̭̍̓͗̎A̸̼͒̀̕S̴͓͎̝͓̝͑̿̅͝D̶̢͔̝͒̎̈́̚Ǵ̴̼̥͆̒̋̊V̵͉̤̺̭̄̋̀̀́̐̏͝ͅÃ̴̛͇̘̖̙̟̓̀̔̊̐͑D̸͎̹͇͈͚̠̟͂͛̑̾̒͘͘͘͠F̷̡̱͍̩̫͍̭̯͗H̸̛̫͕͍̱̾̈́́͒̓̚̕͠E̶̠̦̞̣̠͕̼͉̍̔͛̈́͆̈́̆͛͗͊Ŗ̴̡͓͖̭̼͕͔̠̪̅͐̃͊S̴̛͛̋̈̔́̃͌̇͜͠A̴̡̛͓͔͈̫̮̲͙̩͕̹̜̟̤̮̭̟̦̝̎̅̉̈́̓̄͌͋̈̅̇͘H̶̨̛̺̝̞̦̠̞̲̖͚͉̰̐̂͆̑̇̃̅̊̈́̊̕F̷̧̛̜̱̤̹̻̳̘̤̻̹͍͕̼͉͎̀̽̂̍̂͗̇̍̈́̃̀̓̂͋̚ͅD̷̢̛̛͕͔̣̯̪͈̖͓͙̥̮̂̑̏̑͒̾͗̏͌͘̕͜Ĥ̷͖̯͛͛̈͘͘H̶̡̹̥̙̲̻̬̭̯̜̭̯̯͛̑́͆͛̊̆͒̊̌͗͋͆͜͝Ḧ̵̡̡̢̡͉͚̩̮̗̟̰̤̼̘̤̭͍̠̊̏́̂̒̅̊Ě̸͚̱͎̦̠̤͉̝̗͔̥̮͂͛͂̇̊̃̊̇́̈̿̔̅̂̽̓̅͜
     
    58.3 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Coastal Raid on Italy
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    • It is a victory.

    >> CA ADOBE> I feel we may have been a bit too conservative there, but you're right.
    >> CA ADOBE> It is what it is.

    >> CA ADOBE> The Mission always comes first.


    All right - here's the track:

    1) We started this at the break of dawn at 6:00
    2) At 12:00 we spotted an unlucky Italian transport
    3) CA ADOBE resolved the situation by 13:00 -
    4) And turned about to exit the mission area.

    5) Visual contact was made with a CA VETTOR PISANI class at around 13:30
    6) But CA ADOBE continued unflinching getting the EFF to the OH due South East.
    7) No more further contact with ships until night fell and she could in confidence return to Spanish waters.



    We only sank one ship but this is worth way more than the five ships sank by Italian raiders this month.
    You have been avenged!

    >> CA ADOBE> Am I Thor or Captain America?

    You are Groot.

    >> CA ADOBE> Aww.
     
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    • 59.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - March 1910
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    • Hmm.

    Intel reports on Italy, France and the US - the only nations we have direct contact with.


    All right now that our cash flow is positive again, it is time to put into action my SECRET PLAN.


    We actually got Wing Turret technology some time back but I was too busy with the war to comment on it.

    But our Shipyard capacity was too low to take advantage of it.



    Now we can have eight gun broadsides.

    Granted, midships turret would be much more efficient, but
    a) we don't have that technology
    b) cross deck fire is Spain's bonus tech so it feels a shame not to build one


    First we put ADOBO back on Raiding duty.


    And put FURIOSA on Coastal Patrol so she will stay in South East Asia.



    I don't know what this will do.
     
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    • 60.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - April 1910
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    • Whoa!
    It's a good thing I didn't build the ship just yet because 20k ton budget is much more forgiving.

    Fine tune the design a bit more.



    We have actually slapped around the Italian Navy enough that we can meet Patrol requirements, but more is better.



    But of course!


    More AP is best AP!


    I don't care about light warships anymore.


    Although this does remind me to check if we could/should migrate the FURIOSA class back into Super Destroyer raiders again now that Engines and mass allowances have improved.


    We don't care about Austria-Hungary right now either, though we don't need them mad at us.


    THIS IS A MAJOR BREAKTHOUGH.

    That would have been great if we were actually Austria-Hungary and had access to oil!
     
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    • 60.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - April 1910
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    • The stronger the US gets, the better for us.

    If US DAMCON isn't best in the world, it would be just wrong.


    HAHAHAHAHA.

    Did we manage to get them with our ASW?





    That's a lot of tonnage down.
    Seven ships down again.

    We need more Cruiser hulls and must always leave one of them in Northern Europe.


    Holy moley!

    VITTORIO EMANUELE with its four 12-inch and ten 10-inch, I don't have to worry about you anymore!

    The US have really been pulling their weight in this war.
    Who knows, maybe instead of the US and the UK being the 'special relationship', it would be the US and Spain in the leadup to WW1.



    All right then!
    Come at me!
     
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    • Well, that's one less BB to deal with.
    Good luck in that battle!
     
    61.1 WAR! - Enemy Coastal Raid on Eastern Spain
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    • >> CA ADOBO> SHOW ME THE ENEMY.

    >> MS Minesweeper 12> Gleep!


    >> CA ADOBO> IS THAT THE ENEMY?

    >> SSC NARCISO MONTURIOL> What? NO, SEÑORITA, NO!




    >> CA ADOBO> (whining) IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS.
    >> CA ADOBO> WHERE ARE THEY HIDING?!

    We started this at 15:58 or 3:58 PM.
    It is now 4:51 PM.

    >> CA ADOBO> I don't know what that means.

    One. One hour.

    >> CA ADOBO> MATH IS ALSO THE ENEMY.
    >> CA ADOBO> It hurts me behind the armor plates.


    >> CA ADOBO> It's getting dark NOOOOOO!!!

    I don't expect the Italian Navy to be able to find their own ass in the dark, no.





    >> CA ADOBO> (falls to knees)
    >> CA ADOBO> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

    Well that was pointless.



    Wait, what?
     
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    • 61.2 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Enemy Coastal Raid on Eastern Spain
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    • What the shite was that.
    The Patrol Boat ran into a sea mine and gave Italy free VP.

    Who mines the seas around Eastern Spain?

    We do.

    ADOBO intimidated that little boat so bad she accidentally ran over a sea mine in the defense zone around Malaga!


    KNEEL AND APOLOGIZE.

    >> CA ADOBO> ...
    >> CA ADOBO> (kneels)
    >> CA ADOBO> I'm sorry.




    So where was the Italian Raiding Party all this time?

    ...

    >> CA ADOBE> ... They got lost.

    >> CA ADOBO> They got super lost.

    SPAGHETTIS.



    They got lucky this time!


    >> CA ADOBO> I'm really sorry.
    >> CA ADOBO> I won't do it again.
    >> CA ADOBO> It's fun to stomp and shout and do the haka haka, but it's not funny when you're scaring your own allies.

    ...
    At least you know your sins.

    It is bloodlust and not arrogance that drives you.

    Fortunately Patrol Boats are like fairies, they just pop up out of nowhere in the morning again.
    Do not take advantage of their immortality and not appearing on our account books to perform more graft as target practice.

    Fucking spaghettis though.
    They didn't meet anything (except an island they nearly ran aground on) through this whole debacle.

    How are they even supposed to know one of our ships sank after they went away?
     
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    • 62.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - April-May 1910
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    • Blech.

    The British have 15-inch guns and we're still using 12-inchers.


    Since we have more light craft than we need for Patrol duty, I'm setting some AMCs as Raiders so I can put my Cruisers back into action.



    DAMMIT!
    We only have two of those!


    DANGIIT!
    We only have t- one. One of those!

    >> CA ADOBO> Whut?

    >> CA ADOBE> My hospital stay will not be a psychiatric one, thankfully.


    Are we sure it was a torpedo hit and not, y'know, ramming speed?


    >> CA ADOBO> I will avenge you!

    Woo. Five ships in one deployment duration.
    That is the excellent work that kind of justifies why we tolerate your brand of insanity.

    >> CA ADOBO> I'm not crazy, I'm just mad!


    >> CA LECHON> I STILL EXIIIST!!!

    Thank you for reminding us, Capitan Incontinente.

    >> CA LECHON> I have been promoted!


    >> AMD Delfin 2> Beep. Boop. I am a bot.


    Muchas gracias, Capitanos Americanos.


    Wait. That's it?
    The Italians have no Raider actions this turn?

    (Eight ships for 45 VP! For our side!)

    Inconceivable!
     
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