A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES

[bluepencil]

Oh good. Their BCs were nowhere in the area.

It kind of does make sense if they're guarding against our BBs in the open seas.


So here's the track.

1) CA ADOBO and CA ADONTBE snuck in deep into Austria-Hungarian waters entered the shoals at around 11:30.
2) Espied first Trader at 12:30.
3) Chased it north towards Spalato and saw another TR at around 13:30.
4) While CA ADOBO handled the north new contact, CA ADONTBE swung back south to finish off the stricken Trader.
5) At 14:00 CA ADOBO decided to pick a fight with shore gun batteries and wasted about an hour and half on futile exchanges of fire.
6) The Cruiser Division was ordered 15:30 to leave the area and was out of the Adriatic by 3 AM.

That reminds me, until I choose to exit the battle window I can still check the condition of the ships.



Ach, fore/aft hits really allow water into compartments.
Extended Belt armor being only good enough to repel splinter hits aren't much good against stupid six inch magic secondary guns.

What were those shore guns anyway?



An even more magically significant number?

Please stop.



Holy shit do not go back there.

>> CA ADONTBE> Those two coastal batteries were side by side, fast-firing medium guns and anti-battleship heavy guns.
>> CA ADONTBE> How very efficient.



Ach this war is dragging on so much.

 

[Shadowhisker]

Ach this war is dragging on so much.

Click to shrink...

That it is. I'd actually recommend going for the first peace deal you see; don't want a revolution of your own, now.

 

[HolyDragoon]

Click to shrink...

Read the name, read the guns it has.

One of these things is not like the other...

 

[warhammer651]

Read the name, read the guns it has.

One of these things is not like the other...

Click to shrink...

maybe it's measuring the outer diameter?

 

[bluepencil]

All right. Intel reports. What do we have on Austria-Hungary?

1) Austria-Hungary are laying down three light warships​

- Two MS which will be available in 8 months​

- One AMC which will be available in 4 months.​

For now, not relevant.​

​

2) We have a new submarine​

- We need that commerce disruption.​

​

3) AMC Delfin II has finished working up​

- More Raiding.​

​

4) USA has a new Destroyer​

- Ok.​

​

5) CSA ship intel​

- CL HUNTSVILLE's 2 1/2 inch of armor can't bounce six inch shells at all.​

- BC SUMTER at 23 knots and 8 1/2 inch is decent for a Battle Cruiser.​

​

6) Austria Hungary are not ahead of us in Light forces and torpedo warfare​

- Odd, don't they have a national bonus for this?​

​

7) There are rumors of war weariness and protests and Italy​

- This war could have been over by now if Austria-Hungary didn't LEEROY JENKINS their way into it!​

​

8) Raider reports​

- Other than the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI (and a bunch of DDs), these appear to be the only ships the Italian Navy have left.​

​

9) One of our ships is transiting the Indian Ocean​

- Who is this and why?​

Ah, I see. A DORITO I was sending to do Coastal Patrol in Asia.


ADONTBE is still damaged from her torpedo hit, and now I realize we have no capital ships in Northern Europe.


Get more Raiders working to drive their economies deeper into the bucket.





Yes just like that.


Wait, didn't you report this last month?



Ah shite she was in the Caribbean too!
How are you NOT fueled when our possessions are so central to the Caribbean?

What did you do?

Or rather, what did LECHON make you do?!


>> CA FANTASTICA> Ahahaha... magic?
>> CA FANTASTICA> And by magic I mean of course making things... disappear. And appear.

>> CA LECHON> The long arm of the law is surprisingly fast, who'da thunk?




Cruiser battle.

As long as it's not a Battle Cruiser battle, we're fine.
They haven't finished building the LISSA just yet.

 

[Havock]

maybe it's measuring the outer diameter?

Click to shrink...

This is what inflation is all about.

 

[bluepencil]

Oh hey, it's ADOBO and ADONTBE.
Torpedo damage healed ok?


>> CA ADONTBE> :: raises the hem of her skirt slightly ::

>> CA ADOBO > :: sneers ::
>> CA ADOBO> What do you think you're doing?
>> CA ADOBO> I got legs for days too, you can't show off while I'm here, third ship of my name class.
>> CA ADOBO> We're all wearing miniskirts with sports shorts anyway. Longer skirts aren't any good with the saltwater spray.

>> CA ADOBO> *is kicked in the face*

>> CA ADOBO> WHY.

>> CA ADONTBE> :: curtsies nobly ::
>> CA ADONTBE> All repaired back to spec, sir.

>> CA ADOBO> This is an abuse of power. I wanna be division leader!

ADOBO you are forbidden to lead anyone into the anything.

I miss ADOBE's slightly more tangible grasp on sanity.


>> CA ADOBE> You know, looking at this from over here, somehow I'm not so in hurry to be a part again of this bullshit roulade.






Oho.



It's an AMC.

We did proc Cruiser Battle, right?

>> CA ADONTBE> It's cute.



AMC aren't fast enough to get away.


>> CA ADONTBE> Good day, m'lord.

>> AMC BARON EICHHOFF-class> Eichh off!

 

[Kuja]

ADOBO you are forbidden to lead anyone into the anything.

Click to shrink...

Mostly because YOU KEEP LEADING EVERYONE INTO THE EVERYTHING

 

[bluepencil]

This AMC is being surprisingly durable.


2600 tons and six inchers.




We are really hamstrung by being unable to build proper Corvettes.
Why is it that everybody else can build AMC - i.e., ships with larger than 1800 tons displacement and carrying six inch guns without being a Light Cruiser - but we cant unless there's a war on?




>> CA ADOBO> Well it's done.
>> CA ADOBO> That was no fun.

>> CA ADONTBE> *glowing happily*



>> CA ADONTBE> Oh, more friends?


>> CA ADONTBE> It's a pair of Battleships.

Turn around.


>> CA ADOBO> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Your eight inch guns are designed to bulli ships with six inches of armor or less.
It's a waste of time to go up against Battleship plate.



Wait, are we fighting Italy or Austria-Hungary here?

>> CA ADONTBE> Austria-Hungary, sir.
>> CA ADONTBE> Italy has no Battleships left except the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI.

 

[bluepencil]

Crap. It really was Austria-Hungary.
I made a mistake.



>> CA ADOBO> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
>> CA ADOBO> We could have taken 'em!

>> CA ADONTBE> I don't mean to be mean, but... they are not very good Battleships.
>> CA ADONTBE> Like, at all.

I forgot.
I accidentally conflated them with Italian Battle Ships, which do at least have 12-inchers.

Sorry.

>> CA ADOBO> They don't have any.
>> CA ADOBO> We sank them all.



Better than nothing, I suppose.

 

[bluepencil]

Seriously?
We are blockaded again?


Is it that single badass DD back?

It could be that the Italians moved the BB Leonardo da Vinci out of the Med.


All right then.

BB BARBARA, return to Northern Europe.

The enemy Dreadnoughts BB LEONARDO DA VINCI and BB ZRINYI are at best a match for her one-on-one.

>> BB BARACO> I can take 'em.

>> BB BARBARA> You are all raising so many death flags I don't like it.



You going to do something about your lack of Coastal Patrol craft?

 

[bluepencil]

Start hanging your leaders from lamp-posts, already!

They have thoroughly bollixed this war, your soldiers are dying for no good purpose.


If there are any rioters, just shoot.

That certainly is a way to deal with public unrest but not necessarily a moral one, Señor Pingu.

Gotta give Spanish painters a reason to get famous I guess.




God keep your worthy souls, gentlemen.


And I'll see you in Hell.


Only one ship lost?

That's significantly better than what I expected.
Are they losing Raider hulls to lack of fuel and maintenance already?



Oh.

>> CA ADOBO> RIP AND TEAR.

 

[Albertus]

Let's not repeat our mistakes of old.
CHAARGE!!!!

 

[bluepencil]

*flips table*

BULL. SHIT.

>> CA ADOBO> With three ships we can take 'em!

>> CA ADONTBE> It could be that they don't even have Cruisers for Cruiser action maybe? So B tonnage counts instead?

I don't know. Maybe?


At least we're not being blockaded again.


We have plenty of reserve funding.
Accelerate that BB a little.

Although dragging out the fighting for another year is probably unethical for sake of my war funding.




Oh I see, right, I moved BB BARBARA out of the Mediterranean to tempt the enemy into trying for a Fleet Battle.

Should I maybe put back ADONTBE, the Nightmare of Biscay?

 

[bluepencil]

Ugh. When will this end?



But we should have something for all our pains, no?



NO I HAVE CHOSEN POORLY!

Make up your mind already.




MY DREADNOUGHT FUUUND!!!

And that's all you really care about?

We fought two countries and wrecked two navies and got nothing.
What a pointless waste of time and materiel.

...
That's... what war is.



How much am I going to get for these hulls?

They're super expensive to build, four and half million each for a rush job over 4 months.



>> CA FANTASTICA> Florida was a silly place.
>> CA FANTASTICA> Do not go there.
>> CA FANTASTICA> I punched gators in the face.




>> CA LECHON> I AM BACK, MY FRIENDERINOS!

I hate peacetime Navy already.

 

[FC Error]

I hate peacetime Navy already.

Click to shrink...

Look at the bright side: the entire Spanish merchant fleet isn't being sunk by submarines if you're at peace

 

[Shadowhisker]

oof. on one hand, no more war discontent. on the other, that's one of helluva cockblock on austria's part.

 

[bluepencil]

bluepencil

forums.spacebattles.com

Unfortunately times are tough once more so I'll be vanishing back into the ether again.

 

[Avernus]

bluepencil

forums.spacebattles.com

Unfortunately times are tough once more so I'll be vanishing back into the ether again.

Click to shrink...

Note that banned people like myself can't read your full SB profile.

 

[HolyDragoon]

Note that banned people like myself can't read your full SB profile.

Click to shrink...

Can be summed as power issues. Again.

 

[bluepencil]

Note that banned people like myself can't read your full SB profile.

Click to shrink...

Blargh, copying links without a mouse on a tablet is such a pain.

Spoiler

 

[bluepencil]

It has now been a full month for me with no power. Let's celebrate with an update.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


So many scrappings.
So what did I get for those ships?

By the way, errata:
They cost me 2.7 million to build, each - not 4.5 million.


...




Five hundred thousand for four ships that cost me ten point eight million to build!

I hate you, ghost of Adam Smith!
What do you think this is, some sort of RPG world?!

And I'm bleeding a million point two down the hole every month.

It's a POG world after all.





Let's check up on how we left the Italians.

That 24,200 kton BB sounds dangerous, though I don't know which would have finished building first - it or our 18,000 ton BB.



The LISSA is a 28,000 ton Battle Cruiser.
I would really hate to face it in battle.

We need a solution for the LISSA and other ships of its ilk.





Hmm. Thirty thousand tons.
That sounds fearsome.

The US have a 24,600 ton Battle Cruiser design they seem committed on.
Ten thirteen-inch guns? That is going to wipe any ship off the face of the Earth.
Could we use that?


That is terrible.
Go die.

 

[bluepencil]

Hohoho, problems in the Empire?

Well after two and half years of war it's a December Peace so let's just roll over into the new year and see what happens.



The majesty of Explosions compels thee!


What are these?


Semi Armor Piercing shells.

Unlike AP ammo which have around 20% of their weight at best composed of explosives and HE which can be almost 80% explosive filler, SAP ammo sits somewhere in between.


These particular German 38cm/15-inch projectiles all weigh 800 kilograms. It's important that all shells fired out of a gun are of the same weight, otherwise you would have to reset and recalculate ballistic ranges each time you switch ammo.

Does this mean SAP ammo is outright superior to HE then?

It depends, because HE is what you use to break open Destroyers and lightly armored Cruisers in a hit, while SAP does not have the armor-piercing capability of pure AP. It's situational. AP rounds are just too heavy that they might punch through the thin enemy armor and decking without ever triggering the fuse.

It's a generalist round that's not really as good as either if you happen to meet the type of enemy they're best at.



Hmm.

But you can use it if you want.

Eight inch SAP can pack a significant amount of explosives while retaining anti-armor ability against other Cruisers.



Kinda light on peacetime reports, aren't we?
Even our spies need downtime.

1) Well, unlike us who are hit with peacetime downsizing, US experience in the war tells them to increase the size of their Navy.

While the British are reducing theirs? It's a good time to slowly bump away the role of world hegemon.

It's just a pity their Battle Cruisers are such fragile death traps though.

2) Italy are spying hard against France

This is bad because France is our tech sharing partner.


>> BB BARACO> Also probably because France just allowed us to roam up and down the Mediterranean being completely 'neutral' in a way that cuts off Italians and Austria-Hungarians from outside supplies.

 

[Shadowhisker]

Also probably because France just allowed us to roam up and down the Mediterranean being completely 'neutral' in a way that cuts off Italians and Austria-Hungarians from outside supplies.

Click to shrink...

Eh, the Italians might have been cut off (especially given their, ah, issues with Austria) but don't the Hapsburgs have overland trade routes with Germany? It's not unfettered sea access, but it's better than nothing.

 

[bluepencil]

You know what? Let's do this while I still have funding.



Sad for BB BARBACOA DOBLE CARA she is probably going to be the only ship of her class.
The broadside arrangement is forced by how we don't have tech for four centerline turrets.

I hope her insanity is of a manageable level when she comes out the docks compared to these other boats I have over here.





What if I upgrade BARACO and BARBARA from -1 12" guns?
1.8 million per month for 7 months.

Hm.
I only have seven million ... five a half now after building docks.


WOHOHO! Now THAT is awesome.
Aggressive forward guns traditional battleship layout is a go!

Pity for BARBACOA, now she really is obsolete the day she is launched.


Considering that their BB is like this:


Just scrapping and starting over with a BB might be better.

Eight 12-inch guns backed by 8 and half inch armor is marginally saner than the USN's ten 14-inch guns behind five suicidal inches of armor.





Wonderful!
That's a great start to the New Year.




>> BB BARACO> Sir.

What?

>> BB BARACO> It's August.

What.

>> BB BARACO> It's not January 1912.
>> BB BARACO> It's now August 1912.
>> BB BARACO> Were you that determined to skip half a year of the peacetime Navy?

What the heck is in this tequila?


>> CA LECHON> Almirante Best Buddino! There you are!
>> CA LECHON> What'cha got for me this time?!


*downs rest of drink*