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A Penguin Plays RULE THE WAVES
- Thread starter bluepencil
- Start date
slybrarian
Creature of Fable
- Location
- A Far and Sunless Land
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Employ Glorious Decisive Battle Prana and crush the spaghetti scoundrels!
46.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - August 1909
Maybe I should put ADOBO and ADOBE on Active Fleet so they can take part in these operations.
Maybe you should.
On the other hand, setting them as Raiders means they can mulch any Intercept actions.We don't have as much guarantee with LECHON with a 5" belt and 6" guns and FURIOSA with a 4" belt and 5" guns.
And we're even being blockaded now. Lovely.
FURIOSA and FANTASTICA are in South East Asia, with FURIOSA on Active Fleet to intercept anyone that tries raiding.
LECHON is in the Indian Ocean on the way to the Far East why.What are you doing?!
>> CA LECHON> (high pitched squeal) I dunt knoooo...
I really don't know why I expected anything else, either.
Blech.
Good. We need that.
Mobile ablative anti-torpedo armor, GO!
Haha no. But soon.
Employ Glorious Decisive Battle Prana and crush the spaghetti scoundrels!
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46.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - August 1909
Tch. No idea where.
Yes. Nothing in theory should be able to stop our Heavy Cruisers other than a B from doing their thing.
Crap.
Wait.If I remember correctly, a GUISEPPE GARIBALDI has nine or ten in guns and five inches of belt armor.
Six inchers won't do anything against that...
LECHON was actually wise to vacate the Caribbean?!>> CA LECHON> I AM THE SMARTS!
I want to dispute that.
I REALLY WANT TO DISPUTE THAT.
If I could just send ADOBO over there, see how long you can keep laughing.
FINALLY.
47.1 WAR! - Battleship Engagement off Sicily
Ookay?Who do we have?
>> BB BARACO> Who else could it be?
>> BB BARACO> Do you have any other Battleships in this Navy?
... right.Just habit I guess.
>> BB BARBARA> Chasing.
>> BB BARBARA> It should be more than enough for one battle.
Catch it.>> BB BARBARA> 10-inch single turrets are like, el oh el, right?
>> BB BARBARA> It's a Light Cruiser.
>> BB BARBARA> As ADOBO would say: Small fish.
>> BB BARACO> We're 20 knots fast, pursuing the CL is a waste of time.
>> BB BARACO> ... unless it leads us to the enemy main formation?
Awesome.
Less awesome.>> BB BARACO> More awesome.
>> BB BARBARA> (chanting) FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
47.2 WAR! - Battleship Engagement off Sicily
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?!>> BB BARACO> (chanting) LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!
>> BB BARBARA> (chanting) LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!
>> BB BARACO> ** bwongg **
>> BB BARACO> It's fine.
>> BB BARACO> At this range even with heavy guns we're just pinking each other.
>> BB BARBARA> OUCH!
>> BB BARBARA> FUCK!
>> BB BARACO> BARBARA!
BB BARBARA> It's okay.
BB BARBARA> We're not slowing down.
BB BARBARA> That Armored Cruiser looks like it's on the way down.
>> BB BARACO> Focusing fire on enemy Cruiser.
Explain yourself.>> BB BARACO> Four inches of belt armor means as long as we sink something we can get a Major Victory out of this even if our guns can't penetrate ten or more inches of each other's BB armor without an extended slugfest.
Mmm.
Okay.
BB BARACO> Come on...
BB BARACO> Just DIE already!
>> BB BARACO> (turret disabled)
>> BB BARACO> FUCK!
>> BB BARBARA> BARACO!
47.3 WAR! - Battleship Engagement off Sicily
It would be enough going against another BB, but you're going two BBs against one BB and three Bs.The B ROMA class pack 12 inchers.
They are an equal threat to the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI class!
BB BARBARA> To be clear: it's only 2 ROMA, one of those other Bs is a VITTORIO EMANUELE.
That doesn't make things any better!
They are all packing 12-inch guns!>> BB BARACO> Throwing in the towel so soon, Admiral?
>> BB BARACO> We were MADE for this fight.
Let's see..Six 12" on the B LEONARDO DA VINCI, plus
Eight 12" on the 2 B ROMA, plus
Four 12" on the VITTORIO EMANUELE
That's eighteen 12-inch guns versus your twelve 12-inch.>> BB BARBARA> Plus the pair of 10-inch heavy guns on the CA VETTOR PISANI and the five on each broadside of the B VITTORIO. Thirty heavy guns.
Don't sound so happy about it!
That's a lot of gunfire exchanged over only fifteen minutes.Why isn't this CA dead yet?
>> BB BARACO> Turret back in action!
>> BB BARACO> ... Turret got hit again. Top armor, glanced off.
>> BB BARACO> (Engine room hit)
>> BB BARBARA> (Engine room hit)
>> BB BARACO> DOUBLE
>> BB BARBARA> FUCK
>> BB BARBARA> Ouch!
>> BB BARBARA> Heck!
>> BB BARBARA> (faceplants onto the waves)
>> BB BARBARA> I'm flooding?
>> BB BARBARA> I'm flooding!
slybrarian
Creature of Fable
- Location
- A Far and Sunless Land
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So, uh, I think there may have been a misunderstanding about how this decisive battle thing is supposed to work. You're supposed to be decisiving them, not the other way around.
47.4 WAR! - Battleship Engagement off Sicily
>> BB BARACO> BARBARA, move!
>> BB BARACO> I'll cover you!
>> BB BARBARA> ** limits flooding **
>> BB BARBARA> Hurk.
>> BB BARBARA> Again with the gut shots.
>> BB BARBARA> Though I can understand why they keep aiming for my aft.
>> BB BARBARA> ** detached from battle division due to heavy flooding **
>> BB BARACO> Get behind me!
>> BB BARACO> Shouldn't it be the more coal we use, the less weight we have and the faster we should get?
>> BB BARACO> Odd what thoughts come up when you're fighting for your life.
>> BB BARACO> At least that thing is on fire.
>> BB BARACO> (takes aim at BB LEONARDO DA VINCI)
>>BB BARACO> HEY, LOOK AT ME! YOU BALD NINJA TURTLE!
>>BB BARACO> FIGHT ME!
BB BARACO is now obscuring BB BARBARA with her own hull.I should get BB BARBARA to slow down, but to slow down also means death.
Where are we anyway?Ah. I thought we were north of Sicily.
Seen from this long view, that really is a close range slugfest where armor thickness doesn't matter.BB BARBARA is starting to put a little distance from the center of the battle.
>> BB BARBARA> BARACO! Come on!
>> BB BARACO> Just a little more...!
>> BB BARACO> Then you can slow down a little.
>> BB BARACO> Then I'm going to retreat to keep covering you.
>> BB BARACO> ** Critical hit! Electric power disabled! **
>> BB BARACO> Ah! My eyes!
>> BB BARACO> My legs...
>> BB BARACO> I can't feel my legs.
47.5 WAR! - Battleship Engagement off Sicily
BARACO!>> BB BARBARELLA> BARACO!
>> BB BARACO> I'm fine.
>> BB BARACO> Can... barely see a thing.
>> BB BARACO> Can't... move.
>> BB BARACO> But can fire guns....
>> BB BARACO> I AM COMBAT READY!
You are NOT fine!>> BB BARBARA> Hang on! I'm coming in to help!
>> BB BARACO> DON'T YOU DARE TURN AROUND!
>> BB BARACO> GO! LEAVE ME!
>> BB BARBARA> I CAN'T DO THAT!
>> BB BARACO> YOU DAMN WELL CAN!
>> BB BARACO> THERE'S NO POINT LOSING BOTH DREADNOUGHTS IN THE FLEET!
BB BARACO disabled one of the BB LEONARDO DA VINCI turrets but that just reduces the number of 12 inch heavy guns firing at her from eighteen to sixteen.
BB BARACO is now taking from from all enemy Battleships while BB BARBARA is being ignored.>> BB BARBARA> SIS! I CAN'T... I CANT!
>> BB BARACO> YOU GO OR I WILL SHOOT YOU MYSELF!
>> BB BARACO> Hahahaha that's... what?
>> BB BARACO> 125 divided by two? Say sixty rounds for each gun?
>> BB BARACO> Plenty of shots! Plenty of shots!
>> BB BARACO> Thank you Admiral for always being so generous with the dakka!
I'm sorry, BARACO.>> BB BARBARA> ** tearful sobbing noises **
>>BB BARACO> COME ON, YOU DAUGHTERS OF POX-RIDDEN WHORES!
>>BB BARACO> YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER!
>>BB BARACO> FIGHT ME!
>>BB BARACO> KILL ME!
>>BB BARACO> LIBERICA ME TO HELL!
>>BB BARACO> YOU-!
>>BB BARACO> You...
>>BB BARACO> Where are you going?
>>BB BARACO> What's happening...?
... !
That... that's not possible.
Kuja
I'M A SQUIIIID
- Location
- AZ
- Pronouns
- He/Him
>>BB BARACO> But
>>BB BARACO> There was supposed to be a glorious last stand.
>>BB BARACO> I should be dead.
>>BB BARBARA> Are you complaining?
>>BB BARACO> ...a little bit, yeah.
>>BB BARBARA> Well come back to port. You can always get killed later.
>>BB BARACO> There was supposed to be a glorious last stand.
>>BB BARACO> I should be dead.
>>BB BARBARA> Are you complaining?
>>BB BARACO> ...a little bit, yeah.
>>BB BARBARA> Well come back to port. You can always get killed later.
47.5 AFTER ACTION REPORT - Battleship Engagement off Sicily
HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?>> BB BARACO> THIS IS INTOLERABLE!
THIS MAKES NO FSCKING SENSE!>> BB BARACO> I KNOW, RIGHT?!
>> BB BARBARA> I'm sorry Admiral. Sis.
>> BB BARBARA> It's all my fault.
Huh?>> BB BARACO> What are you talking about?
>> BB BARBARA> Weren't you, like, fighting over why we lost?
Whut.No of course not.
>> BB BARACO> Yes, we are quite clear on why we lost.
We were too arrogant.>> BB BARACO> We wasted too much time trying to take down that CA.
We overestimated the value of our armor.>> BB BARACO> We felt we were invincible.
Hubris is to be punished.>> BB BARACO> But it turns out our instincts were also partially correct-
So now all we care about ->> BB BARACO> Is trying to understand this GREAT ITALIAN TALENT -
OF SNATCHING [DEFEAT] FROM THE JAWS OF [VICTORY]!
We lost this one, no question.>> BB BARACO> The question is how in the heck did we even managed to survive without any ships being sunk.
As you can see from the track, contact was made around noon.1) BB BARACO and BB BARBARA chased CA VETTOR PISANI north for a while until contact was established with the Italian battlegroup consisting of
- the Dreadnought BB LEONARDO DA VINCI
- two Battleships of the B ROMA class
- one Battleship of the B VITTORIO EMANUELE class
- a Light Cruiser division consisting of
-- a CL NINO BIXIO class and
-- three DDs of the AQUILONE and NIMBO class.
-- now plus the Armored Cruiser CA VETTOR PISANI
for a total of 10 ships vs 2.
2) Until 2:00 BB BARACO and BB BARBARA hammered the CA VETTOR PISANI while the Italian battleship division followed on an oblique angle North West.
3) And then what followed was a broadside exchange headed due West, with the CA VETTOR PISANI getting in the way between the two Battleship formations.
4) Meanwhile as you can see from the track, the CL and DD squadron disengaged and went to dock into port.
5) Trading broadsides, the twelve 12-inch guns of our Dreadnoughts against the 18 + 7 heavy guns of the Italian battlegroup left BB BARBARA flooding from breaches in the hull exacerbated by 20 knot high speeds.
6) The gun exchange took a turn for the worst when a hit knocked out all electrical power and left BB BARACO dead in the water.
7) The BB LEONARDO DA VINCI approached as if to deliver the killing blow, but focused fire from BB BARACO and BB BARBARA caused it to reconsider chasing BB BARBARA.
8) By 16:00, BB BARACO managed to get some movement possible, but at a painfully slow 9 knots that might as well be sitting still.
9) BB BARBARA was fleeing due west and was out of enemy gun range by 17:00.
10) BB BARBARA was hammered by heavy guns, alone against four battleships from 16:30 to 18:00, at which point for reasons the enemy decided to turn away.
11) They ran all the way back to port and docked to safety there.
12) BB BARACO and BB BARBARA were left alone in the ocean, and BB BARBARA turned back to see if there was anything to be done to help or rescue any survivors if BB BARACO sank.
13) But not only did BB BARACO NOT SINK, she was able to move away from the battle zone and back into Spain on her own power.
>> BB BARACO> I should have died.
Yeah you should have.>> BB BARBARA> Admiral!
>> BB BARACO> No, no, that's fair.
>> BB BARACO> I don't get it.
>> BB BARACO> All it would have taken is a couple of torpedoes into my unmoving hulk and I'm done.
>> BB BARBARA> But they... didn't have...
>> BB BARBARA> (amazed) They didn't use their torpedo-carrying CLs and DDs.
>> BB BARBARA> Their torpedo squadron fled the battle.
>> BB BARACO> But I know period battleships have submerged torpedo tubes.
>> BB BARBARA> We don't though.
>> BB BARACO> But do they know that?
I don't know about the state of Pasta intelligence, but that's... doubtful.>> BB BARACO> As night falls, any gunnery could only be done in what is also torpedo range.
>> BB BARACO> At that point blank range, I could be sunk - but I might also get a lucky torpedo into their Dreadnought.
>> BB BARACO> It's hard to see torpedoes in the dark.
>> BB BARACO> BUT I DON'T HAVE UNDERWATER TORPEDO TUBES.
>> BB BARACO> IF THEY JUST HAD THE NERVE - !
>> BB BARACO> I COULD BE SUNK!
Pastas.>> BB BARACO> Oh, truly, the old saying holds true-
>> BB BARACO> "Not afraid of godlike opponents, only afraid of pig-like teammates"
.
What even the hell is that.>> BB BARACO> I have no idea.
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warhammer651
The Festive Fortress is Unbreachable!
Alternative theory: Extra space required for italian cooking means less space for ammo
48.1 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - September 1909
Ugh who do even have in the Indian Ocean?
So CA LECHON is now on the way to South East Asia while CA FANTASTICA is on the way to West Africa.LECHON is a heavier and more powerful ship, so she would be able to deter anything less than a CA trying to raid in the Pacific.
But I know what you're most concerned about:What about our Battleships?!
As you can see, both of our Dreadnoughts - BB BARACO and BB BARBARA, are in the yards for two months.For these two months we have NO Battleships.
Though if you look back at the previous After-Action Report:
We at least cause some Medium Damage to their BB LEONARDO DA VINCI, so we can expect their Dreadnought to be out of action for one to two months as well.>> BB BARACO> You know... since that proves we can hurt their BB in a short while... this is good news for the next encounter.
>> BB BARBARA> We're not depressed. We're not afraid.
There's not much we can do except to bite the bullet and roll.
Let's roll.
- Location
- Not the asylum anymore
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I was wondering, is this interlude canon to the reboot timeline? Because, going by speculation in the FiC thread, a Spanish-American alliance would be based off of containing the CSA: Spain doesn't want the Confederates to seize it's Caribbean possessions, and the US naturally wants it's wayward states to return to the fold. However, that doesn't make sense if Spain was directly responsible for the CSA's independence by selling most of their fleet to the slavers.
Perhaps, in the reboot timeline, it was the Brits or French that secured CSA independence (if the former, the Spanish American alliance could be aimed against Britain as well), and the pre 1900 Spanish fleet was wrecked in a storm or something. The previous admiralty was sacked, and Torobote (using his connections with Alfonso XII?) ascends.
Perhaps, in the reboot timeline, it was the Brits or French that secured CSA independence (if the former, the Spanish American alliance could be aimed against Britain as well), and the pre 1900 Spanish fleet was wrecked in a storm or something. The previous admiralty was sacked, and Torobote (using his connections with Alfonso XII?) ascends.
You destroy your enemy by making him your ally.
Point one: Japan after WW2.
Point two: Italy in any time period.
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48.2 WAR! - Spain vs Italy - September 1909
Tolerate... tolerate...
Keep their battlefleet busy guarding against our Heavy Cruisers instead of making expeditions.
Just keep swimmingGotta keep swimming...
What do you mean they have TWO BB?