A Light from the Shadow (Tolkien CKII)
- Thread starter ganonso
- Start date
- Location
- Tarn-Vedra
[x] The Taverns of the Third Circle
ganonso
Compulsive Quest Starter
- Location
- PACA France
I've written myself in a corner.
It's never easy to notice and especially on this quest which while strange contains bits who are among my best writing.
The cause are obvious. I never imagined the Balrog would be the main character. Then I had the stupid idea of proposing to begin in a time and place where the forces of Shadow are not rising but decreasing due to the victory of the Dwarves.
It would have been much better to make the Balrog turns good just after the Battle of the Five Armies. Why? Because it would have meant Morianor had his hands full with the Orcs of Moria until Balin arrived. And it would have allowed me to not make my second mistake.
I was way too kind with the diplomacy thing. In some ways as I marked in the Rivendell chapter it is coherent with the setting. Redemption is a noble thing in the Legendarium and acknowledged as a possibility by all good people. I did not want to bash Gandalf or Galadriel by making them racists.
But making you well-received by the Wise allowed the forces of Good to basically steamroll the opposition and now I don't know where I can go from there.
I'm really not comfortable with the idea of Sauron raising massive Easterlings levies and becoming like Xerxes from 300 with legions of orientalist clichés and monsters. And it is the only way he can be a threat to what you achieved. The current state of the world is one where the Dark Lord can totally be beaten by might of arms.
So I don't know.
It's never easy to notice and especially on this quest which while strange contains bits who are among my best writing.
The cause are obvious. I never imagined the Balrog would be the main character. Then I had the stupid idea of proposing to begin in a time and place where the forces of Shadow are not rising but decreasing due to the victory of the Dwarves.
It would have been much better to make the Balrog turns good just after the Battle of the Five Armies. Why? Because it would have meant Morianor had his hands full with the Orcs of Moria until Balin arrived. And it would have allowed me to not make my second mistake.
I was way too kind with the diplomacy thing. In some ways as I marked in the Rivendell chapter it is coherent with the setting. Redemption is a noble thing in the Legendarium and acknowledged as a possibility by all good people. I did not want to bash Gandalf or Galadriel by making them racists.
But making you well-received by the Wise allowed the forces of Good to basically steamroll the opposition and now I don't know where I can go from there.
I'm really not comfortable with the idea of Sauron raising massive Easterlings levies and becoming like Xerxes from 300 with legions of orientalist clichés and monsters. And it is the only way he can be a threat to what you achieved. The current state of the world is one where the Dark Lord can totally be beaten by might of arms.
So I don't know.
Kir the Wizard
The Sun King
- Location
- Ukraine
I can't find it so fast, but, wasn't that one of Tolkien's points for Sauron, and even mid-Silmarillion Morgoth? That by spreading their power they became vulnerable, and Sauron specifically was left for the Free Peoples to defeat on their own, as his level of threat was actually manageable. So by learning their lessons earlier, the Free Peoples have become a much stronger force than originally. The threat was meant to be manageable, and the "game was rigged against Sauron from the start", so to speak.
Anyway, this is probably one of your most enjoyable narratives, so I'd be sad to see it gone.
EDIT: Although, I will say: Since you did not expect Balrog to be chosen as the protagonist, perhaps a Redemption Quest for one of the other choices would be easier to write. End this one on a high note epilogue, and start with your preferred choice. I'd be interested in both Angmarim and Isengardian campaigns.
Last edited:
Epilogue
ganonso
Compulsive Quest Starter
- Location
- PACA France
Epilogue
There is a long time between the loss and the finding, and the river and the sea. Yet the river goes to the sea and the sun sets in the west. As you must now set. It seems fitting that winter gives way to spring as your party in long procession takes the roads of the Shire to their end. The crisp air of March proclaims the rebirth of all things but sadness still comes. For the world is beautiful and you grieve to leave it. Yet your duty is done and Sauron's reign now ended forever. You are far from alone. With you come the hosts of the Fair Folk, the last of the Noldor and many elves of high lineage with them. They leave Middle-Earth and with them you go with the rest of the Istari. You are six gathered surrounding the chained form of Sauron himself, power of corruption and hatred, now like Morgoth being brought from Angband. He comes west too. You do not forget he will not be alone in facing judgment. You have to stand in the Ring of Doom too and have your acts weighted in the balance of Arda.
Long and twisted has been the path leading to this road but in retrospect your early victories paved the way. Kingdoms were reborn talking with each other and uniting together. They helped to cleanse themselves of corruption and their combined armies descended southwards to fight Adunaphael. You accompanied them and joined forces with the Haradrim to shake the yoke of Umbar. The city was taken not by the Men of the West but by the people of Harad who took vengeance against the people what chained them for so long. The get of Castamir who proclaimed themselves almighty and ruled by terror and poison were no more and the land from the sea to the mountains was free of the shadow. During this time your Calyrch grew in power and grace and you gathered them and led them south of Harad in the continent of Morennor. There you found Alatar servant of Oromë who was near in the throes of falling to the Shadow. You fought him for the sake of mercy and you feared you would have to take his life. Yet in the end, as he laid defeated he admitted his faults and joined again with the blessed.
At this point Sauron knew he could not defeat the West united as they were. And the fire you brought into Arda made him unable to wait. So knowing he could not win by force of arms he stood in the East and he called to him creatures of the reign of Morgoth he was unsure to control. He called to the high heavens and in the fields of stars something answered. For in the first wars when Morgoth coveted the domain of Varda some of the Aïnur who served him took forms great and terrible. And in the ocean of stars came to swim monsters of tentacles and fangs whose sight brought madness. They fell like tears from heavens and they joined his ranks along many exiles of the realms eastwards. A drop in the armies of these great lords where one kingdom contains more people than all the West put together, but a mighty army. They fled the Eastern Realms where their presence was hateful to all that was good and the men there, proud lovers of wisdom and harmony, hunted them down as worshippers of discord. Sauron's greed overtook his fear and he rode at their head with the Nine with him as a doleful guard. And from the North came many people and from southern havens long hidden armies of those Numenoreans who had knelt before the shadow and accounted mightiest among all who dwell upon the earth.
The Wise were warned of the oncoming fight by Pallando servant of Mandos who rode at the head of an army from the Variags of Khand and the Easterlings of Rhun and many others besides. They joined the hosts of Gondor and Arnor and the might of Greenwood and Lorien, and the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains, the North, Far Harad and Khazad-Dum. And came the Men of Rohan and Dunland and Enedwaith in loyal alliance and even a contingent from the Hobbits of the Shire. At the middle were the Calyrch with Palantir as their high captain and with them many Orcs who had joined them from the Misty Mountains. But in the armies of Sauron came many Avari who gave thus lie to the thought no Elf succumbed willingly to the Shadow. And of the Seven Houses of the Dwarves, the Ironfists sons of Sindri, marched with the Dark Lord in closed ranks clad with black mail. And the sight of them enraged the folk of Khazad-Dum like no other sight before.
The armies of darkness came to Mordor where they levied the Orcs there and your forces met them in the Dagorlad in the sight of the Black Gate. Long was the battle and harsh too and many feats were done here to eclipse even the tales of the Elder Days. And the Istari and Galadriel and Elrond and Palantir and the princes of many kingdoms besides met Sauron and the Nazgul and many monsters besides. And Sauron had not the mastery. For Galadriel smote him down in memory of Eregion and Palantir wounded him for the wound inflicted upon the Orcs, and you chained him with bonds of fire. His armies were dispersed like straw upon the wind and peace came to the land. Yet remained the matter of the Ring for without its destruction, the Black Gate and the Dark Tower would remain. Yet for all your craft you did not find it in any corner of the earth. For this Sauron comes westward with you in hope the Valar will be able to sunder the Ring from afar.
The Middle Days are gone and the Younger Days are upon the world. To the Havens come the fairest of the Elves and the Aïnur who walk incarnate in the world visible. You see their fleet with white sails filling the harbor. The songs of your party are joyful and sad. Joyful for there is hope of Valinor where no wound is deadly but sad because there are some who will stay. Galadriel proud on her white mare grieves Celeborn her love and lord who will endure in the green forests. Elrond goes alone to meet his wife again. Arwen Undomiel the Evenstar of her people will remain as lady among the Green Elves until her heart tires of the sight of autumn's leaves and her brothers full of wrath and errantry will help still their kinsmen in Rivendell. And you grieve for none of your charge will take ship with you. They are mortal and thus must stay in mortal lands where they will join with Men and disappear. A vast host of Houseless and some living Orcs taken during your last journey where you braved land and sea to come to the ruins of Utumno where some lived still who had been Elves, come with you, but they are not the Calyrch.
You say your farewells to Palantir now lord over his people and in a ship whose prow is a swan whose master is Cirdan you depart with the rest of the Council. You go to the ends of the horizon and without warning, your ship takes flight and the oars strike no earthly water but the enchanted sea of Elvenhome. The wind carries the smell of Varda's domain and when you gaze upwards you see the face of the stars who are your brothers and sisters look at you with smiles. And with a laugh the rest of the Istari forsake their vestments of flesh and take for the first time in eons their native garb and native puissance. No more old men bent on their staves but figures resplendent in eternal youth. Even Saruman cries openly in joy for they are coming back home. Even your pains are eased and yourself you rise in splendor, wounded but renewed by the land where evil is not.
Your ship passes the Lonely Isle and you come to the lamplit havens of Tirion. And Galadriel exclaims with joy and Elrond shakes and bends as they see a pale figure. Fair Celebrian resplendent in health and joy holds a lamp of her own and call mother and husband home. And from behind you, chained Sauron erupts in grief and mortal fear for in this land his power is not. And through joyful reunion, you take him, still chained, to the grim servants of Mandos who cast him into their halls. And as the sun breaks on the morrow, both of you are led to the Ring of Doom in Valimar.
And for Sauron there is but one sentence for his crimes he admits and his repentance is deemed false as of yore. Aulë by his hand calls back the power Sauron had invested in the Ring and returns it to his servant. And near the root of the world where you would never have thought to seek it, a pale golden bands is lost among the stone of an underground river and an old man sleeps and not wake up. Sauron is stripped from flesh and power both and cast beyond the Walls of Night there in the Void to abide. And then it's your turn.
"Who are we judging?" begins Manwë king, eagle at his feet and scepter in the hand.
Mandos declares: "His former name he has forgotten and I shall not utter it before the matter is doomed. Let us call him by the name he has chosen. Morianor the Black Flame who stood with Morgoth during the War of the Jewels and aided in all his deeds"
"Morianor" says Varda with eyes bright as stars. "You are allowed to plead your cause before us for the crimes you committed in Morgoth's service and the actions you have taken then. We would have your accounting."
And you tell the gathered Valar of everything that transpired since in the Timeless Halls you made cause with Melkor. You hide none of your crimes and none of your exploits. You describe your long journey from flame and darkness to compassion and light. You thank Nienna who allowed you a second chance. And in the end the Valar summon a great balance and on one side they put the world you marred during the Music and the Children of Eru you tortured and slaughtered, and Gondolin you destroyed. They put all your crimes and all your sins. On the other they put no victory and no glory, not the freeing of Arnor's curse, nor your smiting of foes or even your silvered tongue. In the balance they take only the suffering you took from Palantir.
And the single Orc you saved from pain at the price of your own is heavier than the worlds and all your crimes together. And even if you had of your deeds done only this one, you would have been saved. And Mandos looks the other and declare this doom:
"Morianor of the Umaïar is no more. For your name given to you in the Timeless Halls was Astaleru, Strength of God, and you will hearken to it anew." You bow and rejoin your kin, welcomed back by the crowds of the Maïar like a brother long lost who come home at last. And at the side of Nienna you fly, no more mortal in appearance but as a being of living flame. She takes you to her house who looks at the end of Arda and names you her herald. You cry with her as the world changes and kingdoms are born and dies and your cries are heard by mortal minds who think it the song of their own thoughts. Oftentimes they close their hears and continue their paths, but sometimes they hearken to it and offer compassion. Ages pass and go and sometimes a voice comes to you and you depart from your place and your voice echoes stronger in those who hear it.
One day as you fly above a changed earth, you see a strange scene. A father binds his son to a great stone with wood below him as a pyre. Crying he raises a knife but your hand becomes flesh and you stop the gesture. Your mouth is filled with words who are not your own.
"Enough. For know we know you fear the Lord. Look upon yonder bush and see." And in the bush a ram is held by his horn and is an offering more pleasing to Eru than one's child.
And long after you come into a house where a woman is crying. Once again you appear driven by the spirit that moves you. And your words resound all and clear:
"Hail Mary full of grace, for God is with you."
And long after in a cave you stumble on a man who asks about the earth and the heavens and the laws given to men to guide him on the path of the righteous. And in letters of fire you write on the walls of the cave and you say to him:
"Read in the name of your Lord who created you."
And always you fly the pathways of Arda and always you speak and sometimes you are listened to. For you are a messenger and you have your name anew. For you are now and ever Astaleru, Strength of God, who in a language who will be held sacred is spoken Gabriel.
So hope it is a satisfying ending 😊.
There is a long time between the loss and the finding, and the river and the sea. Yet the river goes to the sea and the sun sets in the west. As you must now set. It seems fitting that winter gives way to spring as your party in long procession takes the roads of the Shire to their end. The crisp air of March proclaims the rebirth of all things but sadness still comes. For the world is beautiful and you grieve to leave it. Yet your duty is done and Sauron's reign now ended forever. You are far from alone. With you come the hosts of the Fair Folk, the last of the Noldor and many elves of high lineage with them. They leave Middle-Earth and with them you go with the rest of the Istari. You are six gathered surrounding the chained form of Sauron himself, power of corruption and hatred, now like Morgoth being brought from Angband. He comes west too. You do not forget he will not be alone in facing judgment. You have to stand in the Ring of Doom too and have your acts weighted in the balance of Arda.
Long and twisted has been the path leading to this road but in retrospect your early victories paved the way. Kingdoms were reborn talking with each other and uniting together. They helped to cleanse themselves of corruption and their combined armies descended southwards to fight Adunaphael. You accompanied them and joined forces with the Haradrim to shake the yoke of Umbar. The city was taken not by the Men of the West but by the people of Harad who took vengeance against the people what chained them for so long. The get of Castamir who proclaimed themselves almighty and ruled by terror and poison were no more and the land from the sea to the mountains was free of the shadow. During this time your Calyrch grew in power and grace and you gathered them and led them south of Harad in the continent of Morennor. There you found Alatar servant of Oromë who was near in the throes of falling to the Shadow. You fought him for the sake of mercy and you feared you would have to take his life. Yet in the end, as he laid defeated he admitted his faults and joined again with the blessed.
At this point Sauron knew he could not defeat the West united as they were. And the fire you brought into Arda made him unable to wait. So knowing he could not win by force of arms he stood in the East and he called to him creatures of the reign of Morgoth he was unsure to control. He called to the high heavens and in the fields of stars something answered. For in the first wars when Morgoth coveted the domain of Varda some of the Aïnur who served him took forms great and terrible. And in the ocean of stars came to swim monsters of tentacles and fangs whose sight brought madness. They fell like tears from heavens and they joined his ranks along many exiles of the realms eastwards. A drop in the armies of these great lords where one kingdom contains more people than all the West put together, but a mighty army. They fled the Eastern Realms where their presence was hateful to all that was good and the men there, proud lovers of wisdom and harmony, hunted them down as worshippers of discord. Sauron's greed overtook his fear and he rode at their head with the Nine with him as a doleful guard. And from the North came many people and from southern havens long hidden armies of those Numenoreans who had knelt before the shadow and accounted mightiest among all who dwell upon the earth.
The Wise were warned of the oncoming fight by Pallando servant of Mandos who rode at the head of an army from the Variags of Khand and the Easterlings of Rhun and many others besides. They joined the hosts of Gondor and Arnor and the might of Greenwood and Lorien, and the Dwarves of the Blue Mountains, the North, Far Harad and Khazad-Dum. And came the Men of Rohan and Dunland and Enedwaith in loyal alliance and even a contingent from the Hobbits of the Shire. At the middle were the Calyrch with Palantir as their high captain and with them many Orcs who had joined them from the Misty Mountains. But in the armies of Sauron came many Avari who gave thus lie to the thought no Elf succumbed willingly to the Shadow. And of the Seven Houses of the Dwarves, the Ironfists sons of Sindri, marched with the Dark Lord in closed ranks clad with black mail. And the sight of them enraged the folk of Khazad-Dum like no other sight before.
The armies of darkness came to Mordor where they levied the Orcs there and your forces met them in the Dagorlad in the sight of the Black Gate. Long was the battle and harsh too and many feats were done here to eclipse even the tales of the Elder Days. And the Istari and Galadriel and Elrond and Palantir and the princes of many kingdoms besides met Sauron and the Nazgul and many monsters besides. And Sauron had not the mastery. For Galadriel smote him down in memory of Eregion and Palantir wounded him for the wound inflicted upon the Orcs, and you chained him with bonds of fire. His armies were dispersed like straw upon the wind and peace came to the land. Yet remained the matter of the Ring for without its destruction, the Black Gate and the Dark Tower would remain. Yet for all your craft you did not find it in any corner of the earth. For this Sauron comes westward with you in hope the Valar will be able to sunder the Ring from afar.
The Middle Days are gone and the Younger Days are upon the world. To the Havens come the fairest of the Elves and the Aïnur who walk incarnate in the world visible. You see their fleet with white sails filling the harbor. The songs of your party are joyful and sad. Joyful for there is hope of Valinor where no wound is deadly but sad because there are some who will stay. Galadriel proud on her white mare grieves Celeborn her love and lord who will endure in the green forests. Elrond goes alone to meet his wife again. Arwen Undomiel the Evenstar of her people will remain as lady among the Green Elves until her heart tires of the sight of autumn's leaves and her brothers full of wrath and errantry will help still their kinsmen in Rivendell. And you grieve for none of your charge will take ship with you. They are mortal and thus must stay in mortal lands where they will join with Men and disappear. A vast host of Houseless and some living Orcs taken during your last journey where you braved land and sea to come to the ruins of Utumno where some lived still who had been Elves, come with you, but they are not the Calyrch.
You say your farewells to Palantir now lord over his people and in a ship whose prow is a swan whose master is Cirdan you depart with the rest of the Council. You go to the ends of the horizon and without warning, your ship takes flight and the oars strike no earthly water but the enchanted sea of Elvenhome. The wind carries the smell of Varda's domain and when you gaze upwards you see the face of the stars who are your brothers and sisters look at you with smiles. And with a laugh the rest of the Istari forsake their vestments of flesh and take for the first time in eons their native garb and native puissance. No more old men bent on their staves but figures resplendent in eternal youth. Even Saruman cries openly in joy for they are coming back home. Even your pains are eased and yourself you rise in splendor, wounded but renewed by the land where evil is not.
Your ship passes the Lonely Isle and you come to the lamplit havens of Tirion. And Galadriel exclaims with joy and Elrond shakes and bends as they see a pale figure. Fair Celebrian resplendent in health and joy holds a lamp of her own and call mother and husband home. And from behind you, chained Sauron erupts in grief and mortal fear for in this land his power is not. And through joyful reunion, you take him, still chained, to the grim servants of Mandos who cast him into their halls. And as the sun breaks on the morrow, both of you are led to the Ring of Doom in Valimar.
And for Sauron there is but one sentence for his crimes he admits and his repentance is deemed false as of yore. Aulë by his hand calls back the power Sauron had invested in the Ring and returns it to his servant. And near the root of the world where you would never have thought to seek it, a pale golden bands is lost among the stone of an underground river and an old man sleeps and not wake up. Sauron is stripped from flesh and power both and cast beyond the Walls of Night there in the Void to abide. And then it's your turn.
"Who are we judging?" begins Manwë king, eagle at his feet and scepter in the hand.
Mandos declares: "His former name he has forgotten and I shall not utter it before the matter is doomed. Let us call him by the name he has chosen. Morianor the Black Flame who stood with Morgoth during the War of the Jewels and aided in all his deeds"
"Morianor" says Varda with eyes bright as stars. "You are allowed to plead your cause before us for the crimes you committed in Morgoth's service and the actions you have taken then. We would have your accounting."
And you tell the gathered Valar of everything that transpired since in the Timeless Halls you made cause with Melkor. You hide none of your crimes and none of your exploits. You describe your long journey from flame and darkness to compassion and light. You thank Nienna who allowed you a second chance. And in the end the Valar summon a great balance and on one side they put the world you marred during the Music and the Children of Eru you tortured and slaughtered, and Gondolin you destroyed. They put all your crimes and all your sins. On the other they put no victory and no glory, not the freeing of Arnor's curse, nor your smiting of foes or even your silvered tongue. In the balance they take only the suffering you took from Palantir.
And the single Orc you saved from pain at the price of your own is heavier than the worlds and all your crimes together. And even if you had of your deeds done only this one, you would have been saved. And Mandos looks the other and declare this doom:
"Morianor of the Umaïar is no more. For your name given to you in the Timeless Halls was Astaleru, Strength of God, and you will hearken to it anew." You bow and rejoin your kin, welcomed back by the crowds of the Maïar like a brother long lost who come home at last. And at the side of Nienna you fly, no more mortal in appearance but as a being of living flame. She takes you to her house who looks at the end of Arda and names you her herald. You cry with her as the world changes and kingdoms are born and dies and your cries are heard by mortal minds who think it the song of their own thoughts. Oftentimes they close their hears and continue their paths, but sometimes they hearken to it and offer compassion. Ages pass and go and sometimes a voice comes to you and you depart from your place and your voice echoes stronger in those who hear it.
One day as you fly above a changed earth, you see a strange scene. A father binds his son to a great stone with wood below him as a pyre. Crying he raises a knife but your hand becomes flesh and you stop the gesture. Your mouth is filled with words who are not your own.
"Enough. For know we know you fear the Lord. Look upon yonder bush and see." And in the bush a ram is held by his horn and is an offering more pleasing to Eru than one's child.
And long after you come into a house where a woman is crying. Once again you appear driven by the spirit that moves you. And your words resound all and clear:
"Hail Mary full of grace, for God is with you."
And long after in a cave you stumble on a man who asks about the earth and the heavens and the laws given to men to guide him on the path of the righteous. And in letters of fire you write on the walls of the cave and you say to him:
"Read in the name of your Lord who created you."
And always you fly the pathways of Arda and always you speak and sometimes you are listened to. For you are a messenger and you have your name anew. For you are now and ever Astaleru, Strength of God, who in a language who will be held sacred is spoken Gabriel.
So hope it is a satisfying ending 😊.
Kir the Wizard
The Sun King
- Location
- Ukraine
Incredible. Thank you!
- Location
- Middle Europe
Honestly, if you didn't post about 'writting yourself into corner', I would be pressed to see any fault in how you wrapped up this quest. Excellent job, it is only LOTR quest that was ever finished, to my knowledge. And it is finished in my eyes. Thank you for that.
Smallest nitpick would be lack of Dagor Dagorat, but i can see how having 2 grand battles in one chapter can be wrong.
Once again, thank you for this quest and time you spent bring it to us all
Smallest nitpick would be lack of Dagor Dagorat, but i can see how having 2 grand battles in one chapter can be wrong.
Once again, thank you for this quest and time you spent bring it to us all
ganonso
Compulsive Quest Starter
- Location
- PACA France
With reflection a problem was this quest always has been two quests haphazardly fitted into one.
You have the Quest about managing the kingdom of Moria and it was hard because you had no pressing foes to defeat because being the Balrog who is going to go after you on the Evil side.
By constrast if in the reboot of this quest the Angmarim are chosen the Orcs of the Misty Mountains or Gundabad are going to be a significant factor either as allies or as foes and even if you manage to clear/unite them, Sauron does not need them in his grand plan to win.
And you had the quest about Morianor the Istar of Nienna going on adventures with several people. Once again being the Balrog meant while it served as good setpieces, there was no foe able to meaningfully challenges you.
Also minor quibble but I couldn't think of a way of involving the Ring.
KnightDisciple
Brotherhood. Unity. Peace.
- Location
- Midwest, USA
Well, it hasn't happened yet.
16 characters
Sick and tired of being Sick and Tired
- Location
- Alta California
- Pronouns
- They/Them
So, I hope I get no one angry with me for wanting to show my appreciation for this four year old but delightfully well written collaborative tale.
Truly there were very few things I can object to within it and much I can praise.
The characterization feels very accurate to Tolkien's works.
Prose: your ability to convey Ideas well I think surpasses many writers on this website, your ability to coin a great phrase is not there yet but some are among your work.
''You feel her before seeing her but yet a shade of elven grey comes before you. Like Vaïrë she is both eternally young and dreadfully old, her face gnawed by the tears she let flow for the life of the world. Beautiful is she in this sadness, beautiful and terrible for what strength is needed to shoulder the pains of all creation.''
This here? This is an amazing character reintroduction. Some of the following dialogue I think also highlights the general quality of your character writing as well.
''"Whore and harlot have I been called. And rightly so for to all I stand offered. They prefer to speak of me as mourning only for the victims of evil. But are not the evil-doers victims themselves? Grace and compassion are offered to all without distinction."''
I also just like the reinvigorated version of Saruman you created for this story. It still feels like him but without giving into the despair and greed that ultimately destroyed him in canon.
This Quest was wonderfully creative and open minded. I never thought I would come to see a complete LOTR quest in which dragons turned to help the Free Peoples! It is deeply appreciated though I wish we heard more from them. Seeing dragons and werewolves and the dunlendings banding together to stop Sauron is just so heart meltingly beautiful.
Seeing our purple clad reborn Istari learning of the world is quite wholesome and beautful though.
I don't think making writing a quest around Durins Bane was actually a bad idea at all, but as said yeah the timing might have made things too easy.
One of the few things I think I would need to criticize this as Quest for though is that I think you made some choices for your readers a bit too easy.
For example almost no one wanted to call lady Nienna evil and I blame none of them.
As for the story more abstractly, one of the few things we never saw that I wish we could have would have been any of the giant spiders turning towards the light. I always found it utterly tragic that there were no good spiders in Tolkien's works despite there being plenty of non evil spiders to draw on in mythology.
You would think even just a few of them turning from evil could change the fate of the world with potions made from their spittle, or cloaks or nets from their strong silk.
I am a little saddened too that we never see the direct fates of the Nazghuls...do some of their spirits linger? Do they all leave Arda? The story works fine without knowing but it does bother me.
I also think we could have gotten away with seeing a little bit more of Radagast or maybe just a bit of the Great Eagles. At this point though that may be a a bit of a nit-pick though.
I think the ending falls a bit flat for me. It is not *bad* per say but it lacks at least for me much impact.
I guess I expected Moriander to at least argue against damning Mairon/Annatar, and I sort of thought we might get some interaction between him and some of the other redeemed spirts.
I really really do like how helping Palantir was what redeemed us fully in the eyes of the valar.
Bravo, thank you dearly for this amazing Quest!
Truly there were very few things I can object to within it and much I can praise.
The characterization feels very accurate to Tolkien's works.
Prose: your ability to convey Ideas well I think surpasses many writers on this website, your ability to coin a great phrase is not there yet but some are among your work.
''You feel her before seeing her but yet a shade of elven grey comes before you. Like Vaïrë she is both eternally young and dreadfully old, her face gnawed by the tears she let flow for the life of the world. Beautiful is she in this sadness, beautiful and terrible for what strength is needed to shoulder the pains of all creation.''
This here? This is an amazing character reintroduction. Some of the following dialogue I think also highlights the general quality of your character writing as well.
''"Whore and harlot have I been called. And rightly so for to all I stand offered. They prefer to speak of me as mourning only for the victims of evil. But are not the evil-doers victims themselves? Grace and compassion are offered to all without distinction."''
I also just like the reinvigorated version of Saruman you created for this story. It still feels like him but without giving into the despair and greed that ultimately destroyed him in canon.
This Quest was wonderfully creative and open minded. I never thought I would come to see a complete LOTR quest in which dragons turned to help the Free Peoples! It is deeply appreciated though I wish we heard more from them. Seeing dragons and werewolves and the dunlendings banding together to stop Sauron is just so heart meltingly beautiful.
Seeing our purple clad reborn Istari learning of the world is quite wholesome and beautful though.
I don't think making writing a quest around Durins Bane was actually a bad idea at all, but as said yeah the timing might have made things too easy.
One of the few things I think I would need to criticize this as Quest for though is that I think you made some choices for your readers a bit too easy.
For example almost no one wanted to call lady Nienna evil and I blame none of them.
As for the story more abstractly, one of the few things we never saw that I wish we could have would have been any of the giant spiders turning towards the light. I always found it utterly tragic that there were no good spiders in Tolkien's works despite there being plenty of non evil spiders to draw on in mythology.
You would think even just a few of them turning from evil could change the fate of the world with potions made from their spittle, or cloaks or nets from their strong silk.
I am a little saddened too that we never see the direct fates of the Nazghuls...do some of their spirits linger? Do they all leave Arda? The story works fine without knowing but it does bother me.
I also think we could have gotten away with seeing a little bit more of Radagast or maybe just a bit of the Great Eagles. At this point though that may be a a bit of a nit-pick though.
I think the ending falls a bit flat for me. It is not *bad* per say but it lacks at least for me much impact.
I guess I expected Moriander to at least argue against damning Mairon/Annatar, and I sort of thought we might get some interaction between him and some of the other redeemed spirts.
I really really do like how helping Palantir was what redeemed us fully in the eyes of the valar.
Bravo, thank you dearly for this amazing Quest!
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ganonso
Compulsive Quest Starter
- Location
- PACA France
@16 characters
Hi I saw yserviour answer today.
Basically this quest was still aiming to be Tolkienian in theme and some of its themes play a part in the ending. Sauron did not try to repent so he is condemned. Would it has been possible to try and redeem him if the quest had continued? Yes that could have been an option.
The Nazguls once destroyed go to the presence of Eru and to judgement
As for the tone of the ending, well that was not meant to be a character study. This is why there is no character interaction to speak of. This is the "and they lived happily ever after" ending with Morianor being revealed as the archangel Gabriel and serving as messenger to Eru and Nienna.
Hi I saw yserviour answer today.
Basically this quest was still aiming to be Tolkienian in theme and some of its themes play a part in the ending. Sauron did not try to repent so he is condemned. Would it has been possible to try and redeem him if the quest had continued? Yes that could have been an option.
The Nazguls once destroyed go to the presence of Eru and to judgement
As for the tone of the ending, well that was not meant to be a character study. This is why there is no character interaction to speak of. This is the "and they lived happily ever after" ending with Morianor being revealed as the archangel Gabriel and serving as messenger to Eru and Nienna.
16 characters
Sick and tired of being Sick and Tired
- Location
- Alta California
- Pronouns
- They/Them
What is yserviour? A corruption of yesterday? Your savior? Your Previous?
It doesn't feel like a very happy ending to me but that's only perhaps because I never imagined Christian Angels as having much if any in the way of free will or willpower.
I get it wasn't meant to be a character study though, it was still much better than having no ending to be sure.
It doesn't feel like a very happy ending to me but that's only perhaps because I never imagined Christian Angels as having much if any in the way of free will or willpower.
I get it wasn't meant to be a character study though, it was still much better than having no ending to be sure.