A Week and a Half Previous, as Hanako is hanging out with Kaylee...
Your name is Suzumi Akane and you're currently lying on your bed, thinking. Not to say that you don't think normally, but you don't really get this introspective that often. Given the events of the past day, however, you feel that maybe getting to know yourself a little better might be important…
---
Hanako exhales sharply and you look at her expectantly.
"...Hanako? Earth to Hanako...?" She blinks and looks up at you. Wow, she was really spacing out there, wasn't she? She tries to smile, the expression coming out as more of a grimace, and glances around the two of you for a moment.
"Oh! Sorry. Got lost in my own head for a minute. Um..." She's hesitant, very hesitant. Was it something you said? Are you not as good friends as you originally thought? She studies your face, considering something, before she evidently comes to a decision. Hanako takes a deep breath and glances around again, as if to make sure no one would overhear what she's about to say. You really hope you haven't overestimated the friendship you have with her… And shakes her head.
"...I can't go, I'm so sorry Akane." She gives you a small bow, and you feel the flush on your cheeks; this is a little embarrassing. "It's really kind of complicated, but I'll do my best. Um..." You wait patiently for her to continue. So, there's a good reason for this? She really is your friend? Relief floods your chest, but now there's that niggling core of worry, as well as a small amount of confusion and just a little bit of hurt at her declining your invitation. But Hanako is a friend, after all, and you care about her well-being. After a moment, her ears flatten against her head, and she shakes herself, as if trying to dislodge some fluff caught in her mind.
"You can't? Why?" You frown and cross your arms, prompting Hanako whilst trying best not to come off as too put out.
"It's... okay, this is going to like. Sound weird, but... Um.." She appears to be psyching herself up, looking very nervous now as it appears at least a part of her is trying to talk herself out of what she's about to say.
"...I have a girlfriend," she mutters so quietly that even your keen ears have a hard time hearing. Surprise and confusion hit you, and you blink, flicking back an ear. The confusion washes away most of the hurt your felt at her declining your invitation. Hanako looks apprehensive, waiting for your reply. You shift you weight back on one heel as you try and process this information.
Your mouth, however, has other plans: "Wait, really? You do?" You can't keep the surprise out of your voice, "...You didn't strike me as the type, Hanako." A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you imagine Hanako with shorter hair. That's how lesbians wear their hair, right?
"Huh? What's that mean?!" Her cheeks redden slightly. It appears your reaction took her off-guard, was she expecting you to react differently?
You decide to try and explain: "...You're not that boyish. I mean, I have shorter hair than you." To try and prove your point, you run your hand through your hair, which is much shorter than Hanako's rather cute hairstyle, almost as short as some boys you know, though you honestly keep it like this because longer hair is much harder to take care of with your active lifestyle. Not that you don't make an effort to try and make it at least a little cute though.
"I--Are you supposed to be boyish? If you like girls?" Hanako's question makes you pause. Do you? Now that you think about it, maybe they don't? You've never really thought about it before…
"Um. I guess not. Sorry." You laugh and rub the back of your neck. "...So I'm guessing you think she'd be jealous if you went to dinner with the volleyball captain." Hanako blinks. Seems like you guessed right, and that she didn't expect you to. She gives you a little nod and looks down at her feet.
"Ah. Yeah." You smile and look away from her. A very slight blush colours your cheeks. Assuming such a thing was rather silly in hindsight.
"I totally get that. I'd probably feel the same way," You laugh a little awkwardly, then hurriedly add: "...I mean. Not that I'm into girls that way." Hanako looks like she wants to say something, and looks a little put out by whatever it is.
---
Which leads you back to the present moment, lying on your bed, thinking rather hard about some things.
"...I mean. Not that I'm into girls that way"
That sentence swirls around your mind, as if taunting you. But it's true, isn't it? You aren't into girls like that…
Are you?
It's not really a subject you've ever really thought about if you're being quite honest with yourself. You've always been too caught up with volleyball, and your studies, and gardening at school during your breaks. You never really thought about it…
---
Volleyball had ended early due to the heat. Some of your teammates had decided that going to get ice cream was the appropriate response to the weather, and while you kinda wish you'd gone with them, the endless sun couldn't be good for the plants around the school.
You grinned to yourself. Besides, maybe you'd finally be able to meet the mystery gardener who'd been doing such amazing work recently. Ever since they'd started, the weeds around the school had quickly vanished, and the flowers themselves had bloomed with almost explosive force. Whoever it was, they had a green thumb, and an uncanny ability to remain anonymous.
You'd thought about going to see Arakawa-sensei to get the name of the mystery gardener, but it was kind of fun to try and hunt them down yourself.
Your kitbag hefted over one shoulder, you turn the corner into the courtyard tulips had suddenly sprung up in, and stopped.
There she was.
Shorter than you by a fair margin, long hair tied back into a braid, the mystery gardener was weeding the flower-beds with practiced motions. Her movements efficient and swift as she tossed weed after weed into the bucket at her side.
Thanks to her large sun-hat, you can't see her face, and she seems so engrossed in her task, she doesn't notice your approach. "So you're the one!" You blurt out, and immediately wince as she nearly tumbles face-first into her flowers.
"I'm the one who what?" She replies, her voice bearing at least a small amount of annoyance and impatience. You grimace as you realise that you probably deserved that. You did nearly make her fall into the flowers she'd worked so hard to raise, after all.
Still, you feel the need to reply, to compliment her skill: "The one who basically transformed this part of the school." The mystery girl huffs quietly, and clambers to her feet, turning to face you as she does.
As she catches sight of your face, her head tilting upwards as she looks you in the eye, her eyes widen behind her glasses, and you try to remember her name. You're sure you've seen her around before… "S-suzumi-sempai?" she stammers, blinking in shock as her face starts to turn red, "W-w-what are you doing here?"
Tanikawa Yuno! That was it! The one Tsujii-chan, one of your juniors, was always talking about…
---
Thinking back on it now, you realise that Tanikawa Yuno, what with her reactions to your presence when you first started helping her with the school gardens directly, probably has a crush on you.
"So girls can like other girls without being boyish…" You murmur. Yuno-chan was basically the opposite of boyish, after all.
Most of the boys you know are athletes though, and were nearly all tall and well-muscled, their hair cut short as if to emphasise their manliness. You realise that not all boys are like that though. But those were the ones you had to work with.
Hanako was also rather unlike them. Though she is skinnier than Yuno, not that that wasn't appealing in its own way…
But what about boys? You hum to yourself slightly as you think on some of the boys you know. Like Hanako, they were appealing in their own way. You could appreciate the effort some of them had put into their training.
That was it, however. You didn't feel particularly attracted to them, though you feel like maybe you should be? That's what normal girls were into, right?
Your mind wanders, and you think about your teammates, the other girls in the volley-ball team. Again, you could appreciate their hard work, and their bodies were aesthetically pleasing, but you didn't feel all that attracted to them either. They were your friends, not potential romantic interests.
But then, who
were you into? Did you just not like anyone?
Sighing, you press the heels of your palms into your face. This was complex, a subjective problem which didn't present an immediate answer. Rolling to the side, you slide off your bed and onto your feet, going to where you kept your running gear.
Maybe it'd help to run for a bit, to clear your head before dinner…
---
You run until your legs burn, and you don't notice.
You pause to do press-ups, tricep dips, sit-ups and squat thrusts, working til your arms ache and your stomach feels tight, and you don't notice.
Your mind feels like a swirling vortex, dragging all your thoughts towards this one, all-consuming problem.
Do you like anyone? Anyone at all?
Those like you, the boys and girls you knew who were into sports and fitness, they were admirable, and impressive in their own way, but you didn't feel attracted to them.
But then, you knew of a couple boys in your class who weren't into that sort of thing, and they weren't attractive either.
You push yourself harder, speeding up. Your breathing is rough and strained, but even. Sweat runs down your forehead, your torso, soaking into your clothes.
Your limbs burn with exertion, and you don't notice.
So what did you like?
Hanako's face flashes across your mind, her long hair, black and silky, flowing down her back like a river of night. Your face starts to burn for entirely different reasons than the rest of your body.
As you continue to run, you see her smile, her penchant for the dramatic, her sheer friendliness. You find she's cute, and interesting, and that is attractive.
Slowing, your hands finding the back of your head as you stretch out, catching your breath. The vision in your mind flips to show you Erika, the girl who is, in hindsight, rather obviously Hanako's girlfriend. Shorter than Hanako, her slight frame is almost delicate, especially in comparison to you. Her attitude, however… No, you might find her attractive, but she isn't your type.
You begin to speed up again, finding a rhythm. You realise that you don't have a crush on Hanako, at least, not any more. You feel like you might have? But she's in a relationship now, and your feelings towards her have settled into a more comfortable friendship anyway.
But now you have a baseline. You like cute girls.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a flash of colour. Slowing, you turn, and catch sight of some chrysanthemums. Legs aflame with exertion, you find yourself walking now, admiring the flowers see blooming along both sides of the street. The evening sun plays across your back, casting a long shadow towards the end of the road.
Yuno steps into your mind, her long brown hair tied into a messy plait which travels down past her waist. She's smiling softly, smiling at
you. There's a smear of dirt across her cheek, and in your mind's eye, she giggles, adjusting the fit of her sunhat.
Your cheeks burn, and this time, you do notice. Slowing to a halt, you try and rub away your blush, but it refuses to go.
---
"So, what are we planting today?" You ask, a spade carried over one shoulder as Yuno carries a large woven bag with both hands, almost cradling it to her chest.
"Oooh, so it's a 'we' now? You're just here to hold my spade." She retorts, a laugh on her lips as she glances at you slyly.
"I see how it is, you only want me for my muscles." You play up the insult, and Yuno rolls her eyes, her cheeks slightly red.
You laugh, and with a sigh, Yuno carefully lowers the bag to the grass, lifting out a tray of seedlings, and a pair of small camellia sprouts. "Well, if you're dead set on helping, today, we'll be planting this lavender and these two sprouts. Arakawa-sensei also managed to get a hold of a cherry sapling, so we'll try and find a place for it."
Yuno looks so happy, amongst her plants, you can't help but hold back a smile as you both get to work.
---
Yuno…
---
"I don't get this." You hear a grumble, and look up at the source in surprise, Yuno's got one hand on her forehead, frowning down at the page in front of her.
You set aside the bucket that you've half filled with weeds, and head over. "Anything I can help with, Tanikawa-chan?"
As you approach, Yuno reddens slightly "O-oh! Suzumi-sempai, I…" she pauses, then sighs as you settle next to her in the dappled shade, pulling off your gloves. "Probably. I just… I don't get how this works." She indicates the problem in front of her, physics by the looks of it. "Y-you don't have to though!" she near squeaks as you shuffle closer so that you can see, her face nearly glowing now.
"But I want to help." You look at her, smiling gently. "May I?"
Yuno deflates slightly, "sure… Thanks, sempai."
"It's my pleasure. You're stuck here, right?"
---
Yuno who has a crush on you…
---
"And there we have it!" Yuno stretches up, taking off her sunhat as she does. "All done for the day!"
"Well done, Tanikawa-chan" You reply, wiping a line of sweat from your forehead.
"Th-thank you, Suzumi-sempai."
You grin, "you don't have to be so formal, you know. Most of the team call me by my first name, you can do the same of you want."
Yuno's eyes grow wide as she goes crimson, "a-a-are you sure?"
"Positive, but only if I get to do the same. How about it, Yuno-chan?"
You can almost feel the heat radiating off her. "S-s-s-sure… A-Akane-san."
Unable to help it, you laugh brightly. Reaching out, you ruffle her hair. As she pushes your hand away though, Yuno is smiling and it's so bright, it's almost like you're watching a sunrise.
---
You think you might have a crush on her too.
You straighten, tipping your head back to look at the darkening sky above. The heat in your face isn't going away, but the burn of exertion in your limbs has faded to a manageable level. Starting at a walk, you quickly work your way back up to a light jog as you head home.
The journey home is short, and the streets are dark as you trot up to the front door and let yourself in. "Dinner's almost ready, but get a change of clothes before coming down to eat." Your dad says as you pad through the house.
"Yes dad," you reply, already heading upstairs to your room, where you quickly change, hunger gnawing at your belly. Your thoughts are more settled now, and you feel happier for it.
You thunder back down the stairs and make your way to the dining room, where mum and dad are waiting. "Good run?" your mum asks as you all start eating.
"Yeah." You reply, before taking a bite, clearing your mouth before you speak again, "really good."
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Hi again everyone! It's your friendly neighbourhood Joanne here, writing them sidestories and pampering Akane a bit. I hope you enjoyed this little piece, and thanks to both @Snowfire for betaing for me, and @Artificial Girl for making it canon.
" I could even see her join the gay club out of a desperate desire to fit in somewhere, which would just be the saddest thing. So I'm glad she's into girls.
