One year previous, at the start of the school year.
Your name is Tanikawa Yuno, and you think that there might be something wrong with you.
It all started last week when your friend, Tsujii Ayame, a girl you've known since before you can remember (your parents and her mums were friends during
their childhoods), your best friend, a girl whose sportiness rivals your skill at academia,
insisted on you coming to watch her perform in the try-outs for the volleyball team. Naturally, you brought your books with you, seeing no reason not to use the time productively and get ahead of the curve whilst still supporting your friend.
But then
she had to appear. Suzumi Akane, ace of the volleyball team and huge distraction. Every time she spoke, or did anything, really, you found yourself watching. You were so distracted you nearly forgot to grab your books before you left, only Ayame's reminder keeping you from leaving your things behind.
And on top of that, Ayame had to go and notice, and now she won't stop needling you about it. Chattering away about her new team and how amazing Akane is, like she's doing right now:
"I hear that not only is she the best player on the volleyball team, she's also close to the top of her year, isn't that incredible? She's like, brilliant at everything she does, and she's so humble about it too!" It is Monday, and you're already sick of talking about this. To try and ignore Ayame, you hold your current textbook up in front of your face, blocking her from view. Your treacherous ears, however, have other ideas. "One of my senpais also told me that she can lift like, three other members of the team. At once!"
You can feel a weird pressure in your chest now, coiled up and unpleasant. You can only assume it's Ayame's fault. Your chair clatters to the floor as you lurch to your feet, looming over Ayame, who's looking a little surprised. "Will you please stop? I get it, okay? Suzumi-senpai's an incredible volleyball goddess with awesome grades!"
The room around you screeches to a halt, the members of your class who haven't gone to eat outside or in the cafeteria all looking right at you. That… probably came out louder than intended, and you blush crimson, carefully, you right your chair and sit back down, hiding your face in your hands.
"Sorry Yuno…" Ayame murmurs, a hand on your shoulder, "I'm just excited. Never really seen you interested in anyone before."
"But I'm not!" you squeak, "I'm not interested in her, or anyone." You look up at Ayame, who looks penitent, if doubtful of your last statement. "I'm really not. Okay? So can you please drop it?"
She heaves a sigh, "Fiiine. I'll drop it until you realise I'm right."
"Thank you." You say, realising that that's probably the best you're going to get. "How're you doing with Arakawa-sensei's maths homework?" You ask, trying to change the subject, and Ayame averts her eyes, a sure enough sign that she hasn't done it.
The rest of lunch passes pretty normally as you coach Ayame through mathematics. It takes a while but you eventually manage to get her through it. You manage to push Akane out of your mind as well, hopefully things will go back to normal from here.
---
They don't.
It's been about six months, and both the school festival and summer holidays have come and gone. Ayame's been too busy with the volleyball team to pester you too much, and you're not in a club, so you've mainly just been studying and hanging out with your few friends whenever you're free.
And throughout it all, you keep noticing
her out of the corner of your eye.
Every day or two, you catch sight of her. Chatting with friends, walking down the hallway, or just doing something or other.
Ayame always gives you this smug look whenever you DO see her, but you're sure that you don't like her. You just notice her all the time, and kinda wish she would notice you back, and talk to you… and maybe your heart does beat a little faster when she's around, and you focus on her lips a lot, and she has a pretty laugh and…
Shit.
You have a crush on Suzumi Akane, the ace of the volleyball team.
"Yuuuuuuunooooooooo!" You start as you hear Ayame calling your name before nearly falling over as she collides with your back, hooking her chin over your shoulder as you try and turn to face her.
"What was that for?!?" you cry, but rather than argue, Ayame takes a good long look at your face, red with a blush, before smirking.
"Figured something out, have you~?" your face begins to heat up further as she taunts you, "it's nothing to be ashamed of, you're a young woman, aren't you?"
You try to push Ayame away, but she is much stronger than you, and hangs on like a limpet. "Get off me! I've got no idea what you're talking about!"
"I think you dooo~" She let you go, and you turn to face her looking rather serious. "I know you, Yuno, and it's written all over your face."
You hang your head. "Fine, you were right. I have a… crush. On Suzumi Akane." As you ground it out, Ayame does not look quite as pleased as you thought she would. "What? No witty comment? No smug 'I know.'?"
"I would, but you seem more upset about this than I expected." Ayame's eyes are filled with concern towards you, and you sigh.
"Of course I am, she's way out of my league. What am I supposed to do about this?"
"Well… you could just ask her out and see how that goes?"
Your eyes widen with shock as a heavy blush flares on your cheeks. "Nonono! I can't!"
"Why not?"
"I just… I can't, okay? She probably doesn't even know my name! She'd probably just laugh me off. I might not even be…"
"Be…?"
You look around, making sure that no one is around to overhear. Satisfied at your solitude, you lean in to whisper to Ayame: "You know, a lesbian." You almost blush at the disbelieving look she gives you, "I might not be!"
"Mhm? Suuuure you're not. And my mums are just friends."
"That's not the same." You protest, a feeling like tar rising in your chest. "I'm not pretty like them." And it's true. Tomi and Irisa are so much prettier than you. Even approaching their mid-forties, Irisa is thin and lithe, her features flawless, almost like they were sculpted by an artist. Tomi's curvier build and the friendliness she radiates just makes them both more beautiful through comparison.
Not like you. You're just chubby, with spots and glasses and your nose in a book all the time. "Yuno: Look at me." As you look at her, you feel her hands on your shoulders, her face serious, if blurry behind unshed tears. "You. Are. Beautiful. Understood? If I were into girls, I would absolutely ask you out, alright? Because you are smart and kind and cute as hell. It's up to you if you want to ask Suzumi-sempai out, and I'm sorry for trying to pressure you into it."
You sniff, nodding, and Ayame pulls you into a hug. "I don't even know if she's gay…" You trail off as she snorts, her chin on the top of your head.
"If she is, she'd be lucky to have you. And if she isn't, I know she wouldn't be a bitch about it. She's a good person."
"You don't know that." You mumble into Ayame's neck, and she hugs you tighter.
"Yeah I do. She's kind to everyone she meets, even if she is a little grumpy sometimes."
"I still… I still can't. I don't want to get…" trailing off, you can't say the rest, and Ayame pulls back a little, giving you a nod.
"Alright then. I'm not gonna make you." As she says this, Ayame pulls you back into another hug, and you feel yourself relax a little.
"Thanks, Ayame."
"No sweat. You're my bestie after all."
---
Ayame hugs you a little longer before you disentangle yourselves. You feel calmer, but your thoughts still go to Akane time and time again. And as the days pass, you start to catch her out of the corner of your eye more and more.
Every time you see her, Ayame's words come back to you, and you want to talk to her, you really do. But… Every time, you just can't.
There are people around, or she's busy, or you just can't work up the nerve. Every time, you just feel more and more awkward, and that horrible tar feeling wells up inside of you.
As it continues, you start to lose sleep. During the nights, with nothing to distract you, you can't stop yourself from thinking about her, about what you could say to her, and what she might say to you in return.
At school, you are similarly distracted, always listening for her voice, her laugh.
After a week, as you're leaving your last class of the day, you feel Ayame's hand on your shoulder. "Hey, Yuno? Are you doing okay? I was calling after you."
"I, uh… I don't really know anymore…"
"You want to talk about it?" The concern in your best friend's voice warms your heart, and you give her a weak smile.
"Sure. But… Not here?"
"Naturally. Come on." Ayame takes you by the hand and leads you down the hall, looking into each of the classrooms as you pass them until you come across an empty one.
Leading you into the empty room, she gestures for you to sit down, and you do, your shoulders sagging with tiredness as you rest your forearms on the desk in front of you.
"So, what's up?" It is in that moment that you realise that you have no idea how to put your feelings into words, and you just sit there, thinking as Ayame seats herself next to you. "Take all the time you need."
"I can't stop…" You falter, the words catching in your throat, but you push on. This is Ayame, after all. She's your best friend, the closest person you have to a sister, and she already knows about your crush anyway. "I can't stop thinking about her. When I try to sleep, I'm thinking about her. When I'm at school, I'm always distracted, listening for her all the time, watching for her." You put your head in your hands, a groan slipping past, "UGH. I feel like such a creep." Ayame opens her mouth to speak, but you soldier on, the story spilling out, "I've tried to approach her, tried to talk to her, but I just can't, you know? She's always surrounded by friends, or busy, and I don't want to interrupt or impose or anything and every time I just feel so awful." Tears start to fall, and you nearly tear off your glasses as you wipe your eyes. "Ayame…" Your voice is thick now, and you have to push past the lump in your throat, "am I a bad person?"
Immediately, you feel Ayame's arms around your shoulders, and you lean into her as she embraces you. "Of course not," she murmurs into your hair, "you're a young woman with a crush. It's perfectly normal, alright?"
You remain like that for a little while, Ayame reassuring you as you try and put yourself back together. It's slow, but eventually, when you've dried your eyes, and rubbed away the puffiness, she suddenly grins, eyes lighting up as an idea comes to her.
"I think that the thing you need most, right now, is a distraction."
"A distraction? Like what?"
"I have an idea. But we have to go and see Arakawa-sensei."
You frown, confused. "Why her? Did you forget to do your maths homework again?"
"Not this time! I did it all by myself!" The sheer pride Ayame puts into that sentence makes you snort a laugh, and taking the opening, she grabs your hand, dragging you out into the corridor. "Now come on!"
---
It feels like no time at all before you're standing outside of the staff-room. Ayame gives you a reassuring grin before rapping smartly on the door-frame. After a moment, you hear a "come in!" from the other side and she leads the way into the room. You almost freeze as you feel the eyes of every teach on you at once, but Ayame's hand in yours is a solid comfort.
"Hello, is Arakawa-sensei in?" Ayame asks, and the woman in question gives you both a small wave.
"Over here, girls." The other teachers all go back to their own business or conversations, and you breathe a little easier as the two of you head over to her. "What can I do for you both? Need more time on an assignment again, Tsujii-san?"
You look at Ayame, this was her idea, after all, and she smiles. "Not this time, I wanted to know if the school horticulture club was still looking for members." You blink, surprised, as she shoots you a grin. "You see, Yuno was interested in joining up and didn't know who to contact."
As you open your mouth to protest, Ayame gives you a look that simply says,
trust me, and you do. "Uh… Yeah. I was wondering where I could sign up."
"Well, I'm the one in charge of the horticulture club, and we are. I've got the forms for it here somewhere…" Ms Arakawa trails off as she starts rooting around in her desk, pushing aside stacks of paper and unfinished marking until finally: "Aha! Here we are. You're not in any other clubs, are you, Tanikawa-san?"
"I'm not, no."
"Good, I'm afraid there's just a few of us, but we all work hard to make the school beautiful." Ms Arakawa smiles, and holds out the form for you. "If you change your mind about joining, please tell me. We're just a school club, after all, but I need to keep a roster of the people who are allowed to do garden-work about the school."
"Thank you very much, Sensei." You say, taking the offered form, "I'll get this back to you shortly."
"Excellent. I look forward to working with you." As clear a dismissal as any, you and Ayame leave the staff-room. Once outside, however, you round on Ayame, keeping your voice to a whisper so that the teachers don't overhear.
"What the hell, Ayame?!" Your voice comes out strained, but Ayame just smiles.
"I think you need a distraction, Yuno." Ayame's voice is kind, but her expression is serious as she looks you in the eye. "Something to get your mind off Suzumi-sempai. I'd heard that Ms Arakawa was looking for more people to join the horticulture club, and I figured it'd be a good fit for you. They're small, so you don't need to worry about lots of people, I
know you're basically at the top of our grade whenever biology comes up in science, and if you don't like it, Ms Arakawa won't force you to stay. Please? I think it'll be really good for you."
Ayame starts making puppy-dog eyes at you. Someone taller than you should not be able to make this work, but she does, and it's adorable. "Fine," You relent, "But if I don't like it, I can quit?"
"Just give it a go. I'll buy you ice cream~" Ayame's attempt at bribery is see-through and thoroughly effective.
"…Sure."
"Yaaay~!" Her happiness is infectious, and together you leave the school for the nearest ice-cream parlour, a faint smile on your face.
---
You don't like gardening.
You absolutely
love it.
It's hard work, and but for Ms Arakawa and the other members of the horticulture club, it's thankless too. But you find that you don't really need to be thanked when you manage to get the chrysanthemums to bloom in late autumn. Or when you find the time to come in on the weekends, and then over the winter break, just so you can look after the Amaryllis, finally rewarded as they flower just before Christmas.
And it's not just the school that explodes into life and colour. You start to help in the garden at home, working with your dad in his vegetable patch, and then in the flowerbed he lets you to call your own. You grow cosmos there, and prepare to plant an apricot tree when springtime comes.
When your birthday arrives in November, your mum and dad get you a set of your own tools and an apron, and Ayame gets you a big floppy sunhat "For when it's sunny and you wanna melt." You feel tears welling up as you hug them tightly.
You feel better as the months pass. Your thoughts still drift to Akane, but that feeling, that welling of tar in your chest, grows less and less. Checking yourself out in the mirror at home, you find that you've grown less chubby, though not by much, and have grown both stronger and more energetic. You're happier with yourself for it.
In the end, the task, and the beauty you create, is its own reward.
---
Winter passes, and spring blooms full force. Wearing the hat Ayame gave you, and wielding the tools your parents got you, you've started heading into school early alongside Ayame, who splits off to go to training whilst you head for the gardens. After school, you do your homework out there, enjoying the cool spring breeze whenever it isn't raining, and sitting in the library when it is, and then continue your work.
Arakawa-sensei praises your diligence, helping you out whenever she can spare the time, which sadly isn't often. There are a few other members in the club, but you don't have a club-room, just a shed where you keep the gardening supplies, so you don't see them very frequently. Simply giving them a nod and a smile when you pass them in the hall or when you're working beside them.
Not that they work beside you very much. Apparently, you're the only member of the club who isn't in one or two other clubs as well, so you're the one doing most of the work, particularly in the hot spring sun which blazes down as you enter March.
And it is in March, as you encourage a bed of tulips to grow, that you meet her properly for the first time…
---
It's a hot afternoon, the sun beating down upon you with relentless fury. It's a nice change of pace from the rains which have swept the grounds every day of the week so far. You're busy weeding, the motion practiced as you pull up each offending plant, checking to make sure you got the roots before tossing them in a bucket to your left.
You sit back on your heels, swiping an arm across your forehead. Even with your sunhat, without which you probably would have died of sunburn already, you're boiling in your clothes. It almost makes you wish you had the rain back.
Almost.
Taking a deep breath, you get back to it. You're working your way right to left along the flowerbed, adjusting your bucket as you go, and whist the work is hard, it brings a sort of peace to your heart. A peace forged of effort and patience, of the faint rustle of wind through the nearby sakura and of the flourishing green all around you.
And it is a peace that is abruptly shattered when you hear a voice from behind you: "So you're the one!" Surprised, you nearly tumble forward into the tulips, but catch yourself just in time to save your precious flowers.
"I'm the one who what?" You ask, a little annoyed at being surprised. You really would also really like to finish the weeding before you go home.
"The one who basically transformed this part of the school." The voice behind you is familiar, though you don't recognise it. You huff slightly and clamber to your feet, turning to face them so that you can ask them to either help or leave, because there's work to be done.
And find yourself face to face with Suzumi Akane. "S-suzumi-sempai?" you stammer, blinking in shock as start to feel your face turning red, "W-w-what are you doing here?"
An easy smile finds its way onto her face, "Practice ended early. I was going to do some watering, but then I saw you. How could I pass up the chance to meet the person who transformed this space, all by themselves too?" Akane's praise makes you feel like your face is going to catch fire, and you can't help but hide your face in your hands, smearing soil across your cheeks. "You're Tanikawa Yuno, right?"
She knows your name?!?!
"Well, yeah. One of my kouhais, Tsujii-chan, is your friend, yeah?" You nod dumbly, slowly turning crimson as you realise that you
just said that aloud! "She talks about you pretty often. Only good things, I swear!"
You look up, and see Akane's easy grin again. As you look, you realise that she's quite a lot taller than you, and her arms… such definition… No! Bad Yuno! Stop staring! You switch to looking at her face, but her ears are just… right there… they look so soft… No! You feel a like you're about to burst into flames as you
"You've ah… you a bit of dirt on your face." She says, but before she can wipe it away, you tear off one of your gloves and rub furiously at it, dislodging your glasses and sending them tumbling towards the earth. Before you can react, however, Akane just scoops them out of the air, handing them to you with another of those beautiful smiles. "You okay?" There's concern in her voice and oh no there's a hand on your shoulder and…
"I-I-I'm fine!" You nearly shout, and after a moment of looking quite perplexed, Akane just bursts into laughter. There's such joy in it that you can't help but just focus on her voice, feeling some of your embarrassment draining away.
"If you say so." Akane says after she finishes laughing, her smile returning. "Now, shall we get to work?" She tosses her bag over to where your lies, stretching out before turning towards the shed. Before she walks off, however, she freezes, turning back to you. "Oh damnit! I forgot to introduce myself properly, sorry… I'm Suzumi Akane, it's good to meet you."
You just look at her, struck dumb by the fact that you're in a conversation with your crush. And she's the one who sought you out, and
oh right! "I'm Tanikawa Yuno," you somehow manage to get out without stammering, "it's good to meet you too."
---
Your name is Tsujii Ayame, and you are currently sitting in the library, trying and failing to do your maths homework while you watch your best friend and her crush weed a bed of tulips. You allow yourself a small smile, tenting your fingers in front of you.
"Just as planned…"
---
Hi there, Joanne here, I'm so happy that I managed to finished this. It's probably gonna be the longest part of this little mini-series, and takes place the year before the present day, meaning that Hanako is currently a second year. (alongside being Sir-Does-Not-Appear-In-This-Film)
I have a couple more parts of this planned, and am working with @Artificial Girl so that she can make it canon. I hope you enjoyed reading this!
If you like my writing, please consider checking out By Spell and Scroll, a quest I run about some young teens at magic school.
Thanks a bunch!
