Omake: Tongue of the Deceiver
Onmur
Archangel of Nutella.
That's an idea.
Tongue of the Deceiver
It was a sunny day, and Ash, Pikachu, Dawn, and Brock were cheerfully continuing their travels, seeking a new badge, a new recipe, a new pokemon companion. The walking trio plus one never knew what surprise life had in store for them.
Unfortunately for them, life's next surprise for the heroes wasn't looking to be a nice one. Or, from another point of view, for example, from Jessie's, James's, or Meowth's, who were currently spying on said heroes through binoculars while hiding behind a rock, things did indeed seem to be looking up.
"This time, it will work!" whispered Jessie.
"We'll get that Pikachu for sure..." grumbled James.
"We won't if we just stay here watching them!" Meowth berated the two.
"Yeah..." the blue haired teen scratched his head, "but for some reason, I've been getting the chills lately."
"I know!" Jessie's head whipped around so quickly her hair knocked Meowth off his feet with an indignant yelp. "It's been going on for days. It's like..."
"Feels like being watched?" James eyes' met his partner's.
"Like having the boss' breathing down our necks."
"Or my parents pushing me to marry again."
"Or being chased by that Jenny who insisted we had to pay for that take away we took..."
"Crazy woman, it's called 'take away', not 'buy away'. Besides, when you're hungry, it's not a crime to steal food!"
"You said it-! Agh!"
Both teens cried as Meowth's claws streaked across their faces, trailing angry read lines across their cheeks.
"If you two would shut up, the brats are getting away!"
"Oh fudge, they are!" Jessie's binoculars spontaneously manifested on her face as she frantically looked around.
"Come on idiots!" The cat pokemon grabbed his companions by the scruff of their necks and took off, dragging them to parts unknown. "Let's get the new robot running! We didn't starve ourselves and work on it for days just so we could complain about it!"
"You're right, Meowth!" James smiled, pumping a fist as he was dragged across the dirt ground. "It's time to catch that Pikachu- eh?"
"What is it?" asked Jessie, likewise being dragged by their companion.
"I swear I saw something around that rock formation over there?" he pointed.
"I didn't see anything..."
"Must've been my imagination..."
Whether things were looking up for Team Rocket, who were getting another chance at capturing their nemesis, or were looking down as they may get blasted off again, was yet to be seen.
Meanwhile, from the point of view of the Mawile hiding behind a rock formation while holding a set of binoculars to their chest, well, she'd probably get a chance to enact her plan.
Less than twenty four minutes later, an explosion rang out.
"TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN...!"
Ding.
A yellow rodent gave a satisfied sigh, "Pikachu!"
"Well, that could've gone worse," an ash covered James tried to rub the ash off his face, only to smudge it worse.
"How could it have gone worse!?" screeched his red haired companion. "We got blasted off again! We lost the robot! We failed at capturing Pikachu!"
"Yeah, we're back to zero again."
"Exactly!"
"But at least we didn't get blasted off all the way back to Kanto this time."
"... Point. Hey, where's Meowth?" Jessie startled, looking around for their erstwhile companion, before turning to find...
"Mawile!"
A short, out of breath, yellow and black pokemon with cute red eyes.
"Meowth?"
"Mawile."
"Meowth?" repeated James.
The fairy pokemon shook their head. "Mawile," they repeated.
"Yes, we get you're a Mawile," huffed the redhead, "but where's Meowth?"
"Mawile!"
"You know, this would work better if Meowth were here."
"Yes, but then we wouldn't be looking for Meowth."
"Mawile!"
"Exactly!"
"Hey guys," Meowth walked into the scene, rubbing soot off his coin, "kinda got separated mid flight... who might you be?"
Mawile sighed, before doing a little curtsy, "Mawile!"
"A pleasure! I'm Meowth, these," he gestured, "are Jessie and James, and we're part of Team Rocket."
"At your service..." James blinked, before locking eyes with Jessie.
Immediately, their hands flew to their pokeballs. "That's right! We're Team Rocket and you're a rare pokemon! We should-"
Both soot covered teens suddenly stopped, arms in a ready to throw position, unmoving.
Considering the previous scene, none of their pokemon were in a state to fight.
Grinning, Mawile turned around.
"Hey, don't you run a-"
"Maw!"
The fairy's giant maw-shaped horns opened large enough to fit either of the Team Rocket members' head whole.
"We're off the clock, anyway."
James and Meowth nodded in agreement with the clearly smartest member of their team.
"Mmm," the yellow fairy turned back around, happy to have presented a solid argument for peace.
"So what did ya want, anyway?" asked Meowth, which Mawile seemed to take as an invitation to approach.
"Maw Maw Mawile wile Mawile wile wile!"
"Eh?!" Meowth startled, pointing a claw at himself.
"Maw Mawile Maw Maw."
"Meowth Me Meowth Me Meowth?"
"Maw."
"Meowth Meowth?"
"Hey," James poked at the cat pokemon's head, "no fair for you to exclude us from the conversation, you know."
Jessie nodded. "It's bad enough when we only understand half of it."
"Ay, shut up you two!" The teens flinched as Meowth's claws came out, "can't you see this is important!"
"Well, we can't understand what you're saying, so..."
Meowth sighed. "Just give me a moment!"
Saying so, he turned back to the patiently waiting Mawile.
"Meowth Meowth owth Meowth."
"Wile Mawile Maw Mawile."
Jessie and James looked at each other, before shrugging together.
It took only a few minutes for Meowth and Mawile to finish talking.
"I've made a decision!" yelled the cat pokemon suddenly. "And I'm going to help you!"
"Mawile!" The fairy clasped their hands happily.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" yelled James. "You can't make decisions without talking it out with the team!"
"That's right, Meowth!" Jessie paused to grimace for a second, before continuing, "we make decisions as a team."
"Well, you see..." Meowth's tone turned serious, "this Mawile has heard of us, and travelled far and wide in order to meet with us."
"For realsies?" asked a flabbergasted James, before getting bonked on the head by Jessie.
"Of course! This cute little Mawile heard about the greatness of Team Rocket, and wishes to join!" said redhead went on to pick up Mawile and spin them around. "If you wanted to join us, you just had to ask!"
But the Mawile shook their head.
"You don't want to join Team Rocket?"
Another shake.
"What could you possibly want to do with us, then?"
Meowth crossed his arms. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked in a smug tone. "This Mawile heard about us, by which I mean about me, and wanted to learn!"
"Wile!"
"Oh... I see, I see," nodded James. "That makes sense, right Jessie?"
"Of course-" Jessie blinked as a shadow cast over her, feeling a weight settle upon her head. She turned back to the Mawile to find its giant metal jaw resting on her hair, its metal teeth inches from her eyes. "Eek!" She dropped the pokemon like a hot potato as she leaped away to hide behind James.
"Come on, Jessie, I'm sure that's just how they show affection."
This only earned him another bump on the head and an assurance that only he would consider being almost eaten by his pokemon a show of "affection".
"Anyway!" the blue headed teen took it in strike, "so you're here to learn from Team Rocket's Meowth!" he exclaimed, holding his chin with his hand.
A few seconds passed in which James nods to himself.
"... What do you know that's worth teaching anyway, Meowth?"
"Arceus save me from these ingrates..." the cat pokemon grumbled, "to talk, of course! And I'm going to teach her! I'll be the best pokemon teacher that ever taught, and I'll do this out of the goodness of my heart, to help my fellow pokemon!"
"Wile?"
Jessie crossed her arms. "Wait, since when do you do charity work?"
"Yeah, we kind of need to catch up to the brats and make a new plan to capture Pikachu."
"Not everything is about capturing Pikachu, you know?!" Meowth berated the teens. "We can take a break, it's for a good cause!"
James hummed. "I guess this is kind of a special occasion. Never found another pokemon who wanted to speak like humans."
"Besides," added Meowth, gesturing towards Mawile, "can you say no to that?"
Said fairy looked up at the three Team Rocket members with big, glistening pleading eyes, her hands clasped together in supplication. "Maw...?"
Jessie glareed. "Don't think your fake tears will work on us! It's not that easy-"
She was interrupted by a sniffing James. "Welcome to the team!"
"Mawile!"
"JAMES!"
"I'm sorry, Jessie, she was too cute!" the boy cowered unders his partner's raised fist.
"Grrr..."
Any further violence was halted by Meowth suddenly taking Mawile's hand and running off. "Let's start the human speaking lessons right now!"
"Wait! Where are you going?!"
"This is secret knowledge, pokemon only!" yelled back Meowth as the two pokemon left the scene, Mawile tugging Meowth in a different direction.
"... So."
"Step one, find civilization?"
"Step two, get jobs?"
"Step three... what do people do with money when they don't have to plan to capture Pikachu?"
James looked at Jessie.
Jessie looked at James.
The question would haunt them for days.
"So, now that we're away from prying ears," said Meowth as he sat on a convenient tree stump, "time to get to business!"
Mawile raised an eyebrow as the cat pokemon seemingly unconsciously rubbed its paws together. "What happened to 'out of the goodness of your heart'?"
"Now now," Meowth raised a finger and went for a wise tone, "charity work doesn't put food on the table, you said you could pay, so I can't in good conscience deny my team a source of income. You can pay, right?"
"Yes." Mawile nodded and went off to inspect a bush.
"If you're picking berries, bring me some, I'm starving..." Meowth blinked as he saw the other pokemon produce a tiny little handbag from the bush. Then she proceeded to rummage around it to pull out a handful of yen notes.
Meowth's yen-symbol-turned-pupils followed the money as Mawile waved it around.
"I take it this will cover lessons for... a week?"
Meowth shook his head, blinking his eyes back to normal. "A week?! You think you can rip me off just because it would be karmically appropriate?! That much would cover at best... th-two days' worth of talking lessons!"
"It sounds like you were gonna say 'three'."
"I-"
"But since I'm so nice, I could go down to four," declared Mawile, before bashfully kicking at the ground, "you have to consider, it's not easy for a lone pokemon like me to get money."
"How did you get that, anyway? Stole it?"
The fairy shook her head. "This," she grinned as it patted its bag, "I won with my charms. As for the money..." she grabbed her chin suddenly, striking a thinking pose.
After a moment, she shook her head. "It involved learning Double Team, a trench coat, sunglasses, and just finding the right trainers to fight."
"... That legal?"
"Nobody's told me otherwise."
"Huh."
"So we're all agreed?"
"Yes?"
"Great! So what's your first lesson, Professor Meowth?"
"Wait!" backpedalled Meowth. "I didn't mean to- to..."
"Didn't mean what, Professor Meowth?"
"..."
"Do you need to think about our first lesson, professor?"
"... P-professor... Meowth?"
"Yes, that would be you?"
"... Well, since I'm feeling magnanimous today, we can agree to your proposed rates. For now."
"Great! So, first lesson?"
Meowth blinked and stood straighter, as if just then realizing his position.
"You know, I think this is gonna be fun."
"So, how go the classes, Meowth?" asked James, as he wiped clean a table.
"Tired..." mumbled said pokemon, resting his head on another table, a steaming mug of coffee resting besides it.
Ding!
"Welcome!" they heard Jessie's cheerful voice receiving new customers. "Table for two?"
Meowth turned back to James. "That Mawile is way too curious, always asking me about this or that..." he sighed, "kinda strange, too, she seems to know lots of things despite being so young."
"Young? You mean that thing's gonna keep growing?"
"No need to be rude!"
"I mean that..." the blue haired teen made a gesture, holding his hand over his head, and opening and closing it repeatedly.
"Ah, y-yes." Meowth shuddered and took a gulp from his mug.
"Wait a second!"
Meowth jumped in his seat, coughing as the coffee went down the wrong way.
"Where do you get off, wasting the team's money on a fancy cafe, when Jessie and I are working our behinds off to get funds?! Did you take money off our common fund?"
"As a matter of fact..." Meowth turned away, eyes closed and arms crossed, "I didn't. I won this money through my own charms."
"Pull the other one."
The cat pokemon scoffed. "... I might have learned a thing or two from my student."
"Really? I thought you were too old to learn new tricks. Remember the pay day thing?"
Both teammates reminisced for a minute, thinking about the lost possibility of simply being able to make money appear out of thin air.
They sighed.
"Anyway," said Meowth, "a hot drink is just the thing one needs after a long lesson. I don't think I've talked this much since I learned to talk."
"Guess that's fair. How's that going, by the way?"
"It's... going. Definitely going."
"That bad?"
Meowth shuddered.
The off-duty Team Rocket trio plus one stood on the edges or a rowdy crowd.
"Are you sure about this?" asked a dubious James.
"You're asking me? This was Mawile's idea!" Meowth denied any responsibility for what they were about to do.
"Since when do we take orders from that runt?" yelled Jessie.
"Maw Mawile wile Maw Mawile!"
"She says 'since she who has more jaws calls the shots'," translated Meowth.
"You wanna pick a fight, runt?!" the redhead glared at the fairy, who raised an eyebrow.
"Wile!"
"She said-"
"I know what she said." Jessie huffed.
"Maw wile wile Mawile."
"She says she's just trying to help!"
"Maw..."
"Just trying to help," re-affirmed Meowth.
"Well..." James muttered, "maybe we can give it a go?"
"Really?" Jessie raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think this will work?"
"It's not like we don't have the funds to spare, right? What with being stuck here, not having to chase after that Pikachu, it's actually not that bad." The blue haired teen nodded confidently to himself. "I think we can try... if it doesn't work, we can just stop."
"You're not wrong..." Jessie bit her lip. "Fine! We'll give this a go!"
"Right." James, followed by Jessie, Meowth, and Mawile, pushed his way through the crowd, to find himself standing besides a pokemon arena.
"The winner, Joey!"
Just as they arrived, a kid celebrated beating an older teen, who walked away with their head down.
"Who will be the next to challenge this youngster?" asked the referee.
Said kid stared proudly at the crowd, only stopping to apply a hefty dose of potion to his Rattata.
"I will!" yelled James, stepping in front of Joey.
"Let this be a standard match between pokemon trainers," the referee nodded, "choose your pokemon!"
"Then... Carnivine, I choose you!"
A wide eyed Jessie and Meowth watched the proceedings.
"I can't believe it..." muttered the cat.
"He's... We're... winning?"
"Pinch me to know I'm not dreaming."
Jessie punched Meowth on the head.
"OW! I said pinch me, woman!"
"Shhh! It's getting good!"
Just as she said that, a bidoof got blasted out of the arena, courtesy of a beam coming out of Mawile's giant jaw.
"The winner, with six consecutive victories!" announced the referee.
"Good job, Mawile!" cheered James, running into the field to grab said pokemon and spin it around, "just like we practiced, I'm so proud of you!"
"Maw Mawile!"
"She said 'of course!', but in a shifty tone," Meowth helpfully translated for Jessie.
"You're my last pokemon, Mawile," James took a serious tone, "I'll understand if you're tired and want to reti-"
Mawile's jaw clamped onto his head.
"MH-HM-HM!" the blue haired teen laughed, to the audience's unease, before 'his' pokemon magnanimously released him, and was released in turn. "Then bring out the next challenger!"
"Seven wins and six wins..." Jessie and James couldn't believe their own pokemon fighting prowess.
They really were more befuddled by the prize money they were holding, collected from said victories.
"Maw..." complained Mawile.
"A-hem..." repeated Meowth.
"I mean," corrected Jessie, "five wins, two wins, five, and, surprisingly, one," she nodded to James, herself, Mawile, and Meowth in turn. The last one's eye twitched. "It's not that much money, but if we could do this every other day..." she got a far away look, clearly thinking of the possibilities.
"Wile!" The fairy pokemon extended a hand towards the redhead, pulling her out of her daydream.
"Right," she grimaced, handing over part of the prize money, "fair's fair."
Said money was carefully counted through and deposited into the Mawile's handbag. "Wile," she nodded, confirming the transaction.
"So..." James muttered, looking up at the darkening sky.
"What's got into you, partner?" asked Meowth.
"... Nothing," he scratched his head, "think this calls for a celebration?"
"You're darned right it does!" agreed Jessie. "Today, Team Rocket eats out in style!"
A foreboding feeling churned in Mawile's gut as the trio cheered and walked off.
A feeling she couldn't quite understand.
Maybe she was just hungry, she mused as she followed.
It was a nice morning, the sun was shining, the air smelled dewy, the starlys were chirping, and the Team Rocket trio plus one were saying their goodbyes.
"I'm gonna miss you, Mawile buddy," cried James.
"Wile!"
"It was... nice, having this vacation," conceded Jessie, before frowning, "just hoping the boss doesn't suddenly call us and ask what have we been doing."
James and Meowth shuddered. "Don't say his name!" they whisper-yelled in unison.
"... Well, my student, I guess this is it."
Meowth raised a paw.
"Wile, Mawile."
Mawile shook it, smiling at his teacher.
"Hey, um..." James scratched his head. "I was kinda expecting, you know..."
"Yeah, why does the runt not talk?" asked a perplexed Jessie.
"It was kind of the point..."
Mawile sighed. Taking a step back, she looked at the people she could now call friends, opened her mouth... and turned around.
Her giant horn-maw opened.
"THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME," the words boomed out of the steel jaw, "IT WAS FUN HANGING AROUND, I HOPE WE MEET AGAIN!"
Having said so, Mawile half turned to smile at the shocked duo plus one.
James gulped. "I-I-I guess the lessons were... a success?"
"Yep," Meowth wiped a fake tear, "my prize student, everybody."
"YOU WERE A GOOD TEACHER, PROFESSOR MEOWTH."
"Aw, you're just saying that..."
"IN FACT, I JUST REALIZED, TECHNICALLY, THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF OUR ARRANGEMENT."
Meowth blinked. "Yes...?"
"I KNOW WE HAVEN'T HAD LESSONS TODAY, BUT STILL, LET ME PAY YOU FOR YOUR WORK, AS I HAVE EVERY DAY UNTIL NOW."
Meowth froze.
Jessie's and James' head swivelled to stare at their pokemon companion.
"... Meowth?"
"... Pay?"
"I-I-"
"INDEED!" Mawile turned to face the trio and, after fumbling with her bag for a moment, pulled out a few notes, which she shoved into Meowth's paws, before turning back around again. "JUST AS WE AGREED ON THE FIRST DAY OF TEACHING. WELL, I HOPE YOU THREE DO FINE WITH YOUR LIVES, I'M GONNA SPLIT. GOODBYE!"
"You treacherous cat!"
"How could you not share with the team!"
"To think I served you coffee every day!"
Mawile giggled to herself, not having actually gone away, but rather, having hid around a corner to listen to Jessie and James berate Meowth for hiding his earnings.
"This is ours!"
Mawile could imagine Jessie tearing the notes out of Meowth's paws and counting it.
"What do you mean you spent the rest?!"
"Yeah, well, that cafe was kind of expensive..."
"Don't take his side, James."
"It also paid pretty well..."
"James?"
"You think Meowth can find other pokemon to teach? He could make this up to us."
"..."
Mawile sighed. Villains the three might be, but she had fun being around them. 'Never a dull day,' she thought to herself, actually turning to leave.
"You know, maybe we don't have to go chase that Pikachu."
The fairy pokemon blinked, still listening to the far away voices.
"We could... leave Team Rocket, and just keep our part time jobs, and keep fighting pokemon battles for money?"
"Who knew most trainers were actually worse than us?"
"Yeah, I guess we didn't know our true potential since we always went against the whelps."
"So... we can give this a go?"
"If the boss calls..."
"We tell him to- um..."
"We hang up on him!"
"Yeah!"
"Team Rocket is... breaking apart... from Team Rocket?"
"This is gonna take some time getting used to."
"From today on, we're legit!"
"Yeah!"
Mawile, who could barely still make out the two teens and the cat pokemon voices, froze.
...
...
...
'I screwed up the canon!'
I haven't watched Pokémon in forever, so my characterizations are proooobably off by a mile.
Weird enough, I googled 'pokemon anime money' and found that there is no money shown in the show, apparently, only mentioned. Since the original Pokémon games used Yen, I went with that, rather than with Pokédollars or whatever.
Also, I'm crossposting this to SB.
Weird enough, I googled 'pokemon anime money' and found that there is no money shown in the show, apparently, only mentioned. Since the original Pokémon games used Yen, I went with that, rather than with Pokédollars or whatever.
Also, I'm crossposting this to SB.
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