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Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter New
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: VII

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)

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Total Facepalming Picard Tally: VII

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
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[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)

Dr Warren lives and now I hope we can secure our victory.

Also duke who of the British generals are going to get blamed for the fiasco at bunker hill?
 
We should stick to our strengths, if we are to literally charge at the British we would use up all of our good luck and be the ones to be in a massacre. Especially since we don't have a large fighting force as we are literally meant to defend against the British attacks. Maybe we can invest into medical equipment and such after the battle of Boston.

[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the royal navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber is four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will all be the more sour.(Will end the battle of bunker hill)

Besides I can already imagine how king George would be furious at the surviving generals for the disaster that's bunker hill. Not only did they fail to defeat the small force of rebels and take over their fortifications, twice now. They literally humiliated the British army after what happened and would be the laughing stock, for this will not do at all and there will be consequences.
 
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Also duke who of the British generals are going to get blamed for the fiasco at bunker hill?
Clinton most probably. Clinton was the one who led the botched first assault and the one who led the left flank, which was the first to crumble and retreat. This whole debacle stemmed from Clinton's failed assault, and it has cost the British nearly 1,000 men up to this point as well as a major general.

@Duke William of I wonder if we'll see a reaction from Sarah Phillips considering she met General Smith and Major Pitcairn during their March to Lexington?
I don't know if I'd write into the story, but she'll definitely be more than a bit shocked to hear the news.

Edit: And may I mention that Smith's death is the biggest change you all have engendered so far? A Major General dying in a battle so small scale (for the time at least) is bound to shock a lot of people. It also deprives Howe of a relatively capable subordinate.
 
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So what will Arthur smith and his supply ships be doing when he arrives?

Will they even be mentioned?
 
So what will Arthur smith and his supply ships be doing when he arrives?

Will they even be mentioned?
Giving supplies to the American Army. And, most importantly, scare the British. Because with the Charlestown Peninsula in American hands and with the Americans gaining some ships (No matter how little they may be in quality or quantity), it's starting to look a whole lot like another situation eerily similar to this involving a certain Frenchman a few years later IOTL. ;)
 
[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)
 
Giving supplies to the American Army. And, most importantly, scare the British. Because with the Charlestown Peninsula in American hands and with the Americans gaining some ships (No matter how little they may be in quality or quantity), it's starting to look a whole lot like another situation eerily similar to this involving a certain Frenchman a few years later IOTL. ;)
Lord North: I'm sorry how many ships!?

Two… they have two bloody ships and we aren't trying to take them?! Why!

Deal with them!

captain : with everyone.

Lord north: EVERYONE!
 
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Given the British don't know the ship has been captured. It might serve as an effective fire ship. Have it sail right into the harbor and then ram the flagship.
 
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[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)

We've humiliated them, let them run like cowards from a force a quarter their size. Let that get reported in the papers of London when word reaches Europe.

Dont give them a chance to reclaim their prestige in the eyes of the homefront.
 
[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the royal navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber is four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will all be the more sour.(Will end the battle of bunker hill)

Rather we not loose our troops on a fake out or extra reinforcements.
 
[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)

Surprised it took me this long to notice this quest. Sign me up. Should probably not attack. Are outnumbered, they'd have the artillery advantage if we attack and the defense advantage is letting us win. Besides we helped a big amount already.
 
Looking at the rolls I'm going to write an omake about the news that reaches Newport…

I'm sure smith will begin hauling ass when he hears about this battle
 
Though if the battle ends here we still got Boarding Action next. Which was a 99 roll so gonna do something impressive to add onto this battle. Definitely gonna be more respected in the army. Boston really looking like a failure on the British part.
 
[x] Mr. Stark is right. We've got them running with their tails tucked between their legs! Now is not the time to waste away in a fort, now is the time for action! Let us destroy them once and for all!
 
Well Boston was already a failure on Howe and company's part due to the fact the continental army was born and got their baptism by fire and became a pretty great force.

Plus you know, the failure to win pretty much gave congress the kick in the ass it needed to declare independence.

The entire battle of Boston not juat bunker hill
 
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[x] Mr. Stark is right. We've got them running with their tails tucked between their legs! Now is not the time to waste away in a fort, now is the time for action! Let us destroy them once and for all!
 
[Canon] Magoose: Before the Arrival New
Before the Arrival:

Arthur Smith, for all his wishful thinking and the tense relationship he harbored with both his mind and the crown he served, would never have considered himself a traitor. The very idea seemed alien to him, despite the tangled circumstances of his life. He had once worn the uniform of the Royal Navy with pride, rising to the rank of lieutenant at an age most men could only dream of. He had fought the Crown's enemies, weathered storms and battles, and had done his duty with the conviction of a man who believed in his cause. And then... the incident. The moment that shattered his promising career, that nearly saw him swinging from the gallows if not for his grandfather and uncle, who had pulled him from the noose's shadow and brought him to North America, to Philidelphia, to his greatest friend Dr. Franklin. In the years that followed, they made sure he learned the ways of commerce and the sea anew, making him an accomplished sailor and a captain in his own right. But the stain of that past never fully washed away.

Perhaps that was why, after so long, he could believe what he was doing.

Yet for all of it—his moral compass twisting under the weight of the choices he had made and the ones forced upon him—he had never surrendered the idea that he had done his duty. That thought alone kept him tethered to some sense of honor. It was probably why, now as he sailed toward Boston under the fluttering banner of rebellion, commanding a frigate with a captured merchantman in tow, he felt no conflict in his heart. The merchantman, filled to the brim with stolen supplies and goods purchased through the generosity of his "friends" in this new and glorious cause, was evidence enough of where his loyalties now lay. Still, in his own mind, he was doing his duty—as much to himself as to anyone else. Perhaps duty could wear many faces, even one the Crown would see as a betrayal.

Beside him, Roberts, his first officer and oldest companion, stood with a pipe between his teeth, sending thin curls of smoke into the air. The scent of it curled around Arthur, gnawing at the edges of his patience. Smoke always carried memories of battle—the acrid taste of powder, the burnt stench of charred wood, and the screams that lingered after the cannon fire ceased. He clenched his jaw, doing his best to focus on the horizon, though it seemed to press in closer with each breath.

"Somethin's on your mind," Roberts said, as if reading his thoughts. "So speak it."

Arthur turned, his eyes narrowing as they flicked to the smoldering pipe. "Why are you smoking on my ship?" His voice was low but carried a growl. "I could have you flogged for that."

Roberts grinned around the pipe, unfazed by the threat. He took a long drag and blew a perfect smoke ring into the air. "You won't," he replied calmly. "Because something else is eating at you, Captain. You can threaten me all you like, but I've known you long enough to know when your mind is chewing itself up. It's those thoughts that'll lead you to make mistakes." He leaned back, exhaling slowly. "So, say it, before they sink us both."


Arthur's fists clenched at his sides, but Roberts wasn't wrong. There was a storm in his mind, one that had been brewing for weeks. Now, with the latest news from Boston, that storm had finally broken. Reports of a great battle near Charlestown reached them—fighting on a hill called Breed's, or was it Bunker Hill? The stories were already tangled in confusion, he had heard that the Rebels of the Army of Observation were thrown from the ground, but the regulars had taken horrendous losses. He had heard others that the Fortifications held and the Army of Observation had held the field, despite casualties. Another story said that nothing really happened and the skirmishes continued.

"What do you think we'll see when we get there, with these supplies?" Arthur asked, his voice taut, as if bracing himself for what lay ahead.

Roberts, as always, was nonchalant. He scoffed, blowing another plume of smoke into the brisk sea air. "A rabble, perhaps. Half-starved, half-trained, and desperate for anything we can give them. But I imagine they'll enjoy seeing a captain of the Royal Navy who's put the Crown in its place."

Arthur shook his head. "We don't stand a chance against even a third-rate ship-of-the-line, much less whatever the hell that is actually in Boston. We don't have the guns, Roberts. We barely have the powder to keep us armed through a skirmish. And if we are boarded, we'll all die."

"That doesn't matter," Roberts replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Think about the Regulars' position. They're trapped, boxed in on every side by rebels and militia, with nothing but the sea to retreat to. Now, what do you suppose will go through their minds if they see a fully armed warship heading into the harbor, or the surrounding fields and harbors, harassing their ships?" He smirked, the idea of it igniting something in his eyes. "Even if we can't outgun them, they don't know that. To them, seeing one of their own warships on the side of the enemy, even a frigate like ours, will rattle them. Maybe make them think twice about their situation."

"Or they discover us," Roberts shrugged, ever the pragmatist. "Then we fight and die, same as any man worth his salt, be remembered as heroes. But we don't sit on the sidelines while others are out there fighting for something. Thats why we're doing this, aren't we?"

Arthur's jaw tightened. That was the heart of it, wasn't it? The reason they were here, risking life and limb, was not just for survival but for something greater—though Arthur wasn't sure yet what that "something" was. A sense of duty? Revenge? Redemption? It wasn't clear. What was clear, however, was that they were committed. He had crossed a line so many years ago, and now there was no going back.

He glanced at Roberts, who was watching him carefully. "And if we survive?" Arthur asked.

Roberts grinned, stubbing out his pipe against the rail. "Then we'll have done what no one thought we could—deliver a blow to the Royal Navy and stand among the rebels as heroes."

Heroes. The word felt strange on Arthur's tongue. But maybe he might enjoy it. If he could live long enough to enjoy it.

AN: @Duke William of I bring another omake for the grind stone.

And if you ask Nicely, I might do another Liberty Kids one for you.
 
[X] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)
 
Those rolls... I- I think God was genuinely on our side for this battle.

[x] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)

God knows I want to run them down so badly and complete the humiliation of Britain at the hands of a bunch of 'colonial rabble', but I know damn well we shouldn't push our luck after this.

OTL's Bunker Hill was already a shock to the world. But this? Making the famously disciplined Redcoats break- Not fall back or retreat, BREAK AND RUN?

The world's eyes will be upon the colonies, now.
 
[X] Dr. Warren is right. A sixth of our men are dead, dying, and wounded, the Royal Navy is still bombarding us, and the Redcoats outnumber us four to one. Let them retreat and lick their wounds; the taste of blood will be all the more sour. (Will end the Battle of Bunker Hill)
 
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Scheduled vote count started by Duke William of on Sep 17, 2024 at 4:35 PM, finished with 45 posts and 25 votes.
 
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